Your dark secrets

[Coffeejack]

I forgot to add: Not sure if this has been covered yet, but I sometimes wonder what human flesh tastes like. Interestingly, nobody I've asked can agree on it. Some say pork, while others say chicken.

I've only wondered, mind. While bored. I very much doubt I've know the first thing about slaughtering something, let alone cooking it. I could ruin cereal.

 

[Da Orky Man]

I once jerked off thirteen times, just to see if I could

In what kind of time period are we talking about here?

As for myself, I'm limited due to this account not quite being fully anonymous. Sure, only about two people here actually know me IRL, but I'm paranoid like that.

 

[alexwbyrd]

I am not really a pink pony. Sorry to have deceived you all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhI0OVs_zj0

 

[Loonyyy]

If I'm being fully honest-probably that I enjoy hurting people. Somewhere deep down in my twisted psyche, I enjoy the feeling I get when I think violence is imminent. I enjoy thinking of pounding someone's face into the dirt. I often think about crushing someone who antagonises me. It's not like the intricate sadistic type thing, it's more of a brutish desire to beat someone into the dirt.

And that frightens me. I don't like the idea of hurting most people, and I don't condone violence. Enjoying something you don't condone isn't a good feeling.

The other day I felt like a dick, because this drunk guy at a bar was trying to start fights with a couple of people, and he tried getting in my face, and I just stared him down until he backed off. I'm taller than a lot of people, but this guy was just a shade under my height and a lot bigger, about 3 or 4 years older. He backed off when I gave him the glare, but in the back of my mind, I wanted hit to attack me, so I could put him on his ass. That just feels all manner of evil. However much someone might be an asshole or potentially an aggressive person with battery on their mind, I'm hardly an impartial judge of that if I want to hit them.

 

[kasperbbs]

I watched Smallville through twice without skipping episodes... wow I can't believe I admitted that. Smallville has such terrible writing.

I also watched every single episode of it.. Some lines were so bad that they made me rethink my life, i mean what kind of person has nothing better to do than watch Smallville.

 

[KarmaTheAlligator]

I nearly raped a girl when I was 13. That's when I realised I might not be completely right in the head. Turns out my OCD was in full form that day.

 

[Thyunda]

Well, in public I like to put across an appearance of being a "gentleman" in many, but not all ways. I talk casually, but I act politely, and one part of this is that I try not to let out the "always thinking about sex" part of the male mind.

However, on the inside, I am sometimes a rather terrible person. I have incredible urges at points that I can barely keep contained. I sometimes see a woman and instantly some primal part of myself wants to leap into sudden requests for sex. I can't imagine I'd ever go beyond suddenly hugging someone and requesting sex, I haven't even gone to that point, I have thus far managed to resist those urges, but honestly, I detest that part of myself. It disgusts me, because I know better than to think of women like that, and yet there is part of me that will see a woman on the street and instantly start thinking of sex.

It kinda links in to feeling in many ways, primal and non-human. It's funny because I can't quite decide what I hate about that. I do hate the part of myself that thinks about sex too much, that much I know, but is it That I don't, and can't, feel normal, and definately will never actually be normal, or that sometimes I simply feel like something primal screaming in a human shell that I don't truly feel comfortable in?

In other words, I don't feel human, and I can't really figure out whether I desperately want to feel human, or whether I simply hate the societal pressure to act, at all times, human.

Dude. When I get those urges. I accidentally request sex. Now I have a whole calendar of people to visit and it occurred to me shortly after getting a positive reaction that now I actually have to get off my ass and make the effort to initiate this shit.

 

[Assassin Xaero]

There isn't really much in my life I keep secret, let alone on the internet. I really don't feel the need to lie about anything on here, because, well, people don't believe that I'm actually a software developer (or I usually just say "computer programmer" in conversation since "software developer" usually leads to a long explanation of what sort of software we make, the how there is web-based software, and many other things they typical non-nerd wouldn't know), so why say I'm something I'm not when they don't even believe what I am?

Umm... hmm... I'm atheist and the majority of the time I leave my house (probably 80%) for non-work related activities, it is usually with a Christian group/Christian activities, and sometimes I have fits of rage/hatred when I'm alone at night because of how I've been treated by Christians in my past... so guess that's all just a bit more ironic/weird than a "secret".

 

[aba1]

I watched Smallville through twice without skipping episodes... wow I can't believe I admitted that. Smallville has such terrible writing.

I also watched every single episode of it.. Some lines were so bad that they made me rethink my life, i mean what kind of person has nothing better to do than watch Smallville.

You poor soul (hugs). Did you ever notice that for most of the show the only sane person is Lex and that everyone is such a asshole to him that he sorta just says fuck it and becomes evil at the end.

 

[Fappy]

I watched Smallville through twice without skipping episodes... wow I can't believe I admitted that. Smallville has such terrible writing.

I also watched every single episode of it.. Some lines were so bad that they made me rethink my life, i mean what kind of person has nothing better to do than watch Smallville.

You poor soul (hugs). Did you ever notice that for most of the show the only sane person is Lex and that everyone is such a asshole to him that he sorta just says fuck it and becomes evil at the end.

I watched it a bit growing up, but didn't stick with it. I remember it being pretty terrible XD

 

[xmbts]

The more I know or care about a person the less able I am to talk about myself.

There are other things but I don't want to talk about them. >.>

 

[Coffeejack]

I'm a anti-social college dropout , who got badly burned by his ex-girlfriend . I often feels like i'm not meant to live in this world . Also i'm a huge hypocrit . I never say what i feel to anyone . I wear a different mask depending on who's around . Iv'e often thought about suicide , but not brave enough to try . I try to pretend everything is all right ( i'm so good at it no one can see i have problems ) in hopes that if i lie to myself long enough i'll believe it.

So basically i'm depressed with too much pride to see a shrink . Yay me !

When you were at college, did you ever view those around you with apathy or contempt? I used to be nearly disgusted by how shallow they could be sometimes. It seemed like all they ever did was drink and talk about what they were missing on television. That and the poor quality of the writing around me was what drove me from the English course at my university. I can understand people who think "sod this, this is hardly the environment I want to spend the next three to five years of my life in".

 

[CrazyGirl17]

Er... I have a transformation fetish. That's all I'm saying on the matter, because I'm a bit embarrassed by it...

 

[krazykidd]

I'm a anti-social college dropout , who got badly burned by his ex-girlfriend . I often feels like i'm not meant to live in this world . Also i'm a huge hypocrit . I never say what i feel to anyone . I wear a different mask depending on who's around . Iv'e often thought about suicide , but not brave enough to try . I try to pretend everything is all right ( i'm so good at it no one can see i have problems ) in hopes that if i lie to myself long enough i'll believe it.

So basically i'm depressed with too much pride to see a shrink . Yay me !

When you were at college, did you ever view those around you with apathy or contempt? I used to be nearly disgusted by how shallow they could be sometimes. It seemed like all they ever did was drink and talk about what they were missing on television. That and the poor quality of the writing around me was what drove me from the English course at my university. I can understand people who think "sod this, this is hardly the environment I want to spend the next three to five years of my life in".

Oh god yes . How did you know? I still view a lot of people this way , mainly from passing conversations i hear people talk about . It's always refreshing to hear regular people talk about something intelligent .

 

[Hagi]

Er... I have a transformation fetish. That's all I'm saying on the matter, because I'm a bit embarrassed by it...

Sorry... couldn't resist...

Something like this?

 

[Coffeejack]

I'm a anti-social college dropout , who got badly burned by his ex-girlfriend . I often feels like i'm not meant to live in this world . Also i'm a huge hypocrit . I never say what i feel to anyone . I wear a different mask depending on who's around . Iv'e often thought about suicide , but not brave enough to try . I try to pretend everything is all right ( i'm so good at it no one can see i have problems ) in hopes that if i lie to myself long enough i'll believe it.

So basically i'm depressed with too much pride to see a shrink . Yay me !

When you were at college, did you ever view those around you with apathy or contempt? I used to be nearly disgusted by how shallow they could be sometimes. It seemed like all they ever did was drink and talk about what they were missing on television. That and the poor quality of the writing around me was what drove me from the English course at my university. I can understand people who think "sod this, this is hardly the environment I want to spend the next three to five years of my life in".

Oh god yes . How did you know? I still view a lot of people this way , mainly from passing conversations i hear people talk about . It's always refreshing to hear regular people talk about something intelligent .

I think it's a lower level of literacy combined with widespread political apathy and the rise of celebrity idolisation. To keep myself sane, I try and talk to the elderly when I can. It's such a nice change to be able to hear someone speak an entire sentence without pausing, knowing precisely what words they want to use and where each should go beforehand. Their war stories are fascinating and informative too, I don't know what everybody keeps complaining about. When the previous generation passes, at least we will thankfully still have mature and moderate forums like those of The Escapist.

 

[Dr Jones]

It kinda links in to feeling in many ways, primal and non-human.

I'd say those feelings are more human than most things we do nowadays.

 

[Kadoodle]

I bite my toenails and I never seed my torrents.

 

[cerealnmuffin]

Okay guys but you can't tell anyone... *ahem* I hate peanut butter. Like, reeally hate it. Never met anyone else who doesn't like it so I'm alone in this world, alas.

I love peanuts, but I hate peanut butter. The smell makes me really ill and is way too overpowering. Also just thinking of the texture makes me nauseous.

As for my secret, I guess it would have to be that I'm trans. I transitioned years ago and I pass without any issue. My job is a teacher so it is a good thing I have no problem passing. The other secret would be that I have tried ending my life as early as age 7 and even survived a hanging in my teens (had even blacked out during it).

 

[GameMaNiAC]

I'm unhappy. Like, really unhappy. I've got everything I wanted and needed in life, yet I always feel as if something is missing. I can never relax about the things I have either, as I often believe I'll lose it all sooner or later.

I always try to be happy and optimistic. Supportive towards other people, too. But I, myself, feel terrible. And nobody in my personal life knows about this, because I don't want them to.