You're an NPC with only one line of dialogue

[Bored Tomatoe]

I only got one line of dialouge, so I am using it to explain the situation.

 

[quiet empire]

If you save here, when you get fustrated with this game you can kill me again and again and again and again...

 

[E-mantheseeker]

"Of course it's not contagious! You'd have spread it to everyone by now!"

follow up: Something caught while "exploring" a "bonus dungeon" perhaps? *NPC does air quotations where shown*

 

[quiet empire]

L do you know gods of death love apples?

 

[Minky_man]

Reality is you are an andriod, I AM A MAN!! *Gut punches player*

 

[Maj.JakeVitaminwater]

IT PUTS THE LOTION ON THE SKIN AND PUTS IT IN THE BASKET! IT DOES WHAT ITS TOLD!

 

[Davey Woo]

I'd say
"So what if I'm naked, honestly, it's a game, what 'you gonna do about it?"

 

[quiet empire]

I'm such an awesome easter egg.

 

[gamshobny]

"You're not the player, I am."

 

[RedDiablo]

What do you want?

 

[FinalGamer]

This is the worst vacation ever!

 

[skullkid3]

"Hey, you remember that last person you talked to? Total liar. Seriously, I don't care if your mission objectives were updated, they were lying to you."

 

[Slift]

I am ERROR

 

[l33tabix]

So here I am, on the side of fort glavenmunchaven, and I will tell you such an epic story that your balls will explode from the awesomeness.
what you don't have balls? Fine those breasts then, whatever, I'm sure you are a man...
Anyway, back to my tale, so I'm walking through the woods and this giant spider-bear comes out of nowhere! He's all up in my Plate Helm of Dexterity, trying to steal my weed and shit, and I'm like ,"Hey man! Not Cool" So I start rolling on my buffs and seals to own this ************, when he just summons the Penguin God of - - -
Hey! Where the fuck are you going? I'm not done with you!

...yeah that is what I'd say.

 

[Gregorius]

I would say:

"This NPC is an illusion and a trap devisut by Satan. Go forth dauntlessly; make rapid progress... or maybe not."

...at which point I would back-stab the bastard until he begged for some sort of instant death effect to befall him...
...wherein I would cast an not-quite-instant death status on him. Something like a mix of permanent paralysis and slow-action poisoning.

Oh, that's so bad, it's good.

 

[Alone Disciple]

You paid how much for this? LOL....

 

[Nami-Tsuki]

Be careful not to lose the game!