Zero Punctuation: Assassin's Creed 3

[Marowit]

I never really understood why Ubisoft didn't make this game more like the Hitman Franchise. I mean, when I first heard about Assassin's Creed that's what I was expecting...

It seems like it would be a natural fit - I big open world, with lots of potential, free-running, Assassinations (left up to your own devices), interesting historical time periods. That sounds like the kind of game I'd want to play.

Alas, opportunity missed, but the sad thing is that Ubisoft will probably never even recognize it as a missed opportunity since they are rolling around in a swimming pool full of money...maybe I'm the one who doesn't understand...?

/wanders off into the wilds of the internet...

 

[12344127]

There are some things I agree with and some I don't. I thought there would be more of a comment about the pacing in the game actually being good for once. Is this the best in the series? No. Does it have the best plot? No. But for once I did actually begin to side with the templars. This may be a trivial thing but after playing every game there is very little characterisation of the templars you fight? Why am I doing this I asked myself in AC 1 and brotherhood (AC 2 I understood as revenge). There was a much greater showing of morality and that everything is not what it seems to be. The world isnt black and white or in this case assassin vs templar. That is what I took away from the game...Combat was it did try and break up the constant counter counter counter strategy in the previous games but its idea of difficulty was more enemies. I agreed with the money issue as that's what it is but remember that is in every AC game is AC2. Think about build my villa up Why? more money. Repair Rome Why? more money Buy Istanbul Why? more money. The benefits have always been money = more money that has been a fundamental since day 1.Really to sum it up the game isn't the best but it isn't terrible. It is a fair or good game not great not the next big thing since ever but unfortunately gamers and people in general in our time have 0 patience for pacing and timing. There is no such thing as letting a story evolve into something greater because if there isnt explosions or something right now i.e. Cod or Halo its boring and stupid etc... This is why people cant sit through metal gear solid or these types of games.

 

[Slash2x]

Anyone else notice that there was no mention of what many other reviewers are claiming? How big of a jerk Connor is? I did not think he was and I think like me Yahtzee did not even notice.

 

[LobsterFeng]

Thank you for reminding me of The Magic School Bus. I took a hit right in the nostalgia.

Anyway, yes I've played about 6 hours of this game and I think I'm done. It's just SOOOO BORRRRING.

 

[PhunkyPhazon]

You know what really bugged me, yet I've hardly anyone else point out? So that whole crafting mechanic where you can build sofas, chairs, table, and whatnot and then sell them, well, save for a few "delivery missions" it's all completely pointless. You can sift through menu after menu to build and sell this stuff, but it still isn't as profitable as simply buying pelts from your hunter and selling them instead. What is the point of having all this extra stuff to craft when it isn't even the best way to earn money?

Otherwise, I liked the game. Not my favorite entry in the series, but I liked the setting and I for one didn't find the story to be even remotely boring. Now Revelations, on the other hand...

 

[SnakeoilSage]

I doubt anyone didn't see it coming, after the rather entertaining flame-fests that were the reviews for the last two AC games.

I'm sure they expected him to hate it, but to hate it because it was boring might rankle a few players.

Or...maybe people aren't going to explode because some people disagree with them. I mean come on, not everyone is like that.

You're an optimist, kid. I like that. But this is the internet. People come here to rage. Or to boast about not raging.

 

[Porecomesis]

You know, there's something really weird going on when the game looks more sensible than Yahtzee.

Assassin's Creed III: ... What is it with you and stabbing people?
Yahtzee: What is it with you and NOT stabbing people?!

Strange how our desire for games to be more mature about themselves has lead to this.

 

[GAunderrated]

You know, there's something really weird going on when the game looks more sensible than Yahtzee.

Assassin's Creed III: ... What is it with you and stabbing people?
Yahtzee: What is it with you and NOT stabbing people?!

Strange how our desire for games to be more mature about themselves has lead to this.

Well I could understand your point of view if the game wasn't called, you know, assassins creed. Which implies being an assassin which normally implicates some form of stabbing and or killing. People play assassins creed to be an assassin, not a fetch quest/farmville minigame.

 

[Allephus]

Would somebody please get rid of the world's longest fucking ad?!

 

[MS267]

You know, I got this game on release and enjoyed it for the first weekend that I had it, but somehow I just can't bring myself to play it again, and this has only just made me realise that it's because of the lack of actual assassinations. Every time I think about the game all I remember is 20 minutes of running through forest land, 5 minute combat mission, then 20 minutes of running back.

But there's always one thing that's really got me about AC - it's not a stealth game. I have no idea why Ubisoft decided the best way to characterise an assassin is to put them in a very conspicuous robe and have them run about the place. I never really noticed this in previous games but since Brotherhood I've actually played a few stealth games and it's made the series seem really odd in my eyes.

Do you know what would be a lovely start? A crouch button, functioning like in the recent Batman games. I noticed this in an early mission when you have to infiltrate a snowy fort as the Templar and I couldn't stop noticing after that, and I know it's not because Connor has diseased knees because he crouched when in tall grass. It just seems so odd that I have to position a pillar or box between me and a guard as opposed to crouching behind a nearby wall. At least if I could crouch I could pretend the missions I'm on involved stealth.

 

[CoL0sS]

I think Yahtzee is slipping. He used that Braindead lawnmower joke twice so far
Enjoyed the review, but I'm still waiting to try the game.

 

[Arren Kae]

Britain didn't have as valid a political grievance as America. American states realized they didn't need Britain's support anymore and Britain wanted to own them anyway. Like the pitiable Basque region of Spain which props up the rest of the country or Germany keeping te EU aloft.

Main character's a halfjun. How multiculural this presentation of the American revoltuon.

AssCreed, like Fable and Skyrim, know what you really want is a Decarator Tycoon simulator.

 

[Cardbird]

Funnily enough, AC3 is my top game of the year..I guess some people don't see what I do.

 

[Darth_Payn]

An here I was all ready to make a joke justifying the Assassins' participation in the revolution because they wouldn't want to be part of a nation where everything is De-creed.

But it appears the series already has been

Enough with the lame wordplay at the end of every ZP. It's just getting pun-ful.

Ah-HA! Nobody escapes PUNishment!

 

[Ljs1121]

I have to say, "Hey hooded knife covered man on a bench did you see a hooded knife covered man run through here" might just be the most accurate summary of the Assassin's Creed franchise I've ever seen.

I still love it, though. But I do hope in the future that the whole property management thing gets removed or at least majorly scaled back.

 

[Evil Smurf]

I'm having fun with the game and I've felt there is something missing from these videos lately, remember humour?

This was one of my favourite episode.

I hope you don't mind, I corrected your spelling and made your sentence more coherent.

 

[Tony2077]

I'm having fun with the game and I've felt there is something missing from these videos lately, Remember humour?

This was one of my favourite episode.

I hope you don't mind, I corrected your spelling and made your sentence more coherent.

its fine and people like you can just go away god your starting to get annoying

 

[Terramax]

Yahtzee needs to play one of the Tenchu or Shinobido games, where the whole emphasis is, indeed, on stabbing people.

 

[Evil Smurf]

It's fine and people like you can go away. God you're starting to get annoying.

So what did you like about Assassin's Creed 3? Seriously is it worth buying?