Zero Punctuation: Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles

[trlkly]

Oh, yeah! Yahtzee's back in the saddle again (instead of barely holding on with with his teeth on the tail). OK, so I was gonna say that last week, but stupid Escapist took too long to send me an email confirmation and I have a short attention span.

I'm not saying the others haven't been funny, just not ROTFLMAO funny like this one. In fact, I'm glad I waited for this one, since it was the funniest yet, by far. I laughed so many times that I started looking at the bar thinking "I can't believe this isn't done yet!"

Oh, and I did like the FMV last week. But, before you kill me, I'd better tell you that I didn't think it was FUNNY, just cool to watch the lip syncing and how generic the cut scene was.

Well, I guess that's about it, I haven't read any of the comments yet, so I'd better get to that.

 

[LuckWillows]

Woo! I'm a deviant! And I don't rightly give a damn, as that Painkiller short was amazing.

 

[TYF9N]

ahh yes the zapper just completely screws you over. nice review you charismatic stallion.

 

[Beaux]

Please GOD do a Burnout: Paradise one!!

 

[EMaster]

That was awesome as usual! Also yes do another Short like the painkiller one! That was fucking hilarious! Also use Pinball wizard (The who version) on one of your future videos!

 

[Dakan Kurano]

The main issue that I have with the zapper is that it doesn't feel like you're holding a gun, it feels more like you're holding that silly crossbow thing that Link wields in the game that came with the silly attachment. In my humble opinion, the zapper was actually an epic fail on their part because most of the games that have shooting, such games as RE:Chronicles are shooters using guns not backwards trigger crossbow-wannabe...things. The problem with Nintendo is that they just don't seem to listen to their biggest demographic: gamers like us. Nintendo, with the way they seem to make everything the way they want to and not the way their gamers want things, is just a prime example of those pompous pricks trying to control the way gaming develops throughout the world. If only someone in these mega-corporations would actually listen to the gamers that play their games, perhaps they would quit putting out these mediocre feces-stained video games and consoles.

 

[namtastic]

Bless you, Yahtzee, for the "Resident Gigolo" reference.

"Barry, don't screw up again."

 

[4C3C|24Ck]

WHY!? Why can't you do COD4?! Or Burnout Paradise?! That is a popular game and I thought Yahtzee would be onto it like he is to other people's salads. O well, I'll shut up and watch...

...

I've learnt a lesson to shut up and watch before bitching...

Like when I see the message saying "Stop harrassing me I'll fucking do COD4 next week pop up"...


I'm going to shut up but leave up my origional post so you can laugh at my ignorance.

I knew he was going to review CoD4 sooner or later, I saw him playing it two weeks ago (He's on my Steam friends list, suck on that )

 

[Sagecat]

That was four minutes of epic win. I haven't laughed so hard in... a week... since your last review.

With much love from frigid northern Japan,
~Sage

PS: Oh, and I liked the Painkiller short! I would like to see more!

 

[josh797]

so true, loved the bit about the dialogue

P.S. did anyone notice he nearly ran out of breath at about 1.35?

certainly did :-D nice to know even yahtzee cant go on and on forever, even tho id like to beleive that he did the entire review in one breath :-D

 

[SpiderLotus]

Yahtzee you did it again. And bugger someone else caught the breath thing. I thought that could have been my breakout comment... Damn

 

[Cynopt]

Y'know, I actually liked the Painkiller redub; it was *mostly* funny and the timing at the end was priceless.
That's all I had to say, send in the Genetic Hygiene squad if you must.
(Better yet, Mr. Crenshaw, make another one and piss directly in the haters' collectivized face.)

 

[Poptart Fairy]

"I admire the spirit of Umbrella Chronicles because, as my Silent Hill: Origins review implied, I admire a series that tries to mix things up, not just release the same game every bloody year"


Wait, what? There have been 3 rail shooters made from Resident Evil that I can think of right off the top of my head which were much like the 2 (that I know of) arcade rail shooters they made. How is this mixing things up?

The Survivor series wasn't on-rails, per se. It was closer to a first person Resident Evil than a House of the Dead-esque game set in the Resident Evil world. Even so, I think Umbrella Chronicle has mixed things up enough to warrant a distinction from the other games' formula.

 

[PIPboy]

WHY!? Why can't you do COD4?!

I want the COD4 review to be awful. That will make me laugh like I have never laughed.

Or have everyone ***** about it like the Witcher review.

As far as I can tell, everyone who is asking for it has already played it and either a) wants to gloat that they own a game that Yahtzee may love, or b) want to see what he thinks.. And when he does his general nit picking, everyone who asked for it will be complaining that he didn't say enough good things about the game...

Should be a good read if he reviews it next week

Nice review on Chronicles though Yahtzee. Were you laughing or had you run out of breath at 1.35? Anyway, I agree RE has always been great not only because they have had fun gameplay (generally speaking) but also dumb-as dialogue... You have to admit, it does seem like a parody on the horror movie genre... Who writes these things anyway

 

[PIPboy]

And Carlos lol

 

[Alstan]

Great review as always.
But I like to point to a couple of remarkeable things that I think the rest of the people didn't mention before:
-Starring Jonnhy Bravo Lol, I loved that program.
-The Andre the Giant picture. 2 days ago I saw that wonderful movie called "The princess bride". So now you have a quite good example of a wrestler-actor.
-(the 3rd one is for free)You recovered your normal speed.

PS: Thanks myopiczeal for the transcription

 

[MrSod]

Best one yet Yatzee. I laughed (or at least giggled) more for these 4 minutes than I did watching 3 episodes of Family guy. And I love Family Guy.

 

[Panzer Pig]

great view, i tend to like RE games but when i played this the rail-shooter idea got on my nerves after 5 mins. Was a good blast from the past to start with but quickly became boring, also Jills obvious quotes bit had me laughing no end

great review as usual

 

[Sayvara]

*purrrs with a big smile*

This one made me giggle muchly at my office desk. Top form Yahtzee! The only down is the recurring "censored wanking"-anims, they are kind of... tacky. Everything else though: thumbs up!

/S