Zero Punctuation: Skate 2

[Joreal]

Skate 2, huh? Doesn't really seem to be your territory, Yahtzee. Good to see something different, at least.

And yes, the impossible "Score 5,394,612,964,@t^,45CAPSLOCK points to progress" sections always suck.

Also, no intro! Buh-shizzle-snoochie-boochies? Also, no annoying pop-up-you-can't-get-rid-of-me-completely-ha-ha-ha ad on the video! I feel vindicated! The keyboard is mightier than the pen! Take that, Edward Bulwer-Lytton!

 

[WarpGhost]

When I saw the game you were reviewing I didnt have high hopes for this episode, but it turned out to be one of the funniest yet! Great job.

 

[yourbeliefs]

I think this review confirms to me that Skate 2 is not worth my time. Apparently EA missed the boat that Tony Hawk started (and subsequently CRASHED with the release of Tony Hawk 4) and made a game mainly for hardcore skate people as opposed to the masses. Tony Hawk 3 remains one of my favorite games of all time, and sadly I don't think any skating game will go back to the linear, short run style that it did so well.

 

[BlueInkAlchemist]

As I'm not a skater, I don't have much to say, other that this review is pretty damn hilarious.

Now BRING ME A CHAIR.

 

[Slycne]

Video is fixed, sorry for the confusion everyone.

 

[avenger919]

what is the nintendo DS game? ive seen it mentioned a couple of times.

 

[Ronwue]

I liked the intro. I want my intros back. At any rate, skate reminds me of the tony hawk games. I loved those.

 

[Thoric485]

Never tried or plan to try the game, but the video was still amusing as usual. Felt kinda incomplete without the intro though.

 

[Emmitt_Nervend]

Anyone else not able to watch this? I keep getting a message that the stream isn't found.

 

[Hamster at Dawn]

Yahtzee you were on fire this week!

...sorry, had to be said.

 

[Kaboose the Moose]

I like it how he said he felt sorry for the cops who abandoned all other evil to catch skaters. Still, a very good review and because I am no skater myself I think I will pass on this game.

 

[Lullabye]

Im a skater and its not really true. Skate boarding is not like that at all.....anymore*cough*.... at least not here

 

[A.I. Sigma]

Could anyone else hear the traffic and police sirens in the background?

Anyway, great video as always.

 

[LesIsMore]

Not a bad review, but certainly weaker than last week - though part of that is because I'd never play this game for two reasons, 1) it's a skating game and 2) it's on the Playstation 3. I just wasn't into the topic and for the first minute or so he didn't seem to be either. I did appreciate his more critical point at the end of the review though as to who this game is intended for.

Also, and probably an issue that messed with my overall experience - where the hell is the opening music?

The intro is back.

I have rewatched it with the intro and actually think it makes the review better - not in any sense of judgment on the music, it just fits into the overall experience of ZP.

Or in other words, "Waaaa - don't mess with my routine it scares me."

 

[Elim Garak]

Meh. One of the weaker reviews IMHO. Equivalent to ripping a wooden horse off a carousel, beating it with a stick, and then pronouncing it dead.

I was never going to play the game, never interested in it, and all the statements Yatzi made are quite banal. But maybe it's just me and skating games.

 

[tustin2121]

The intro was gone?

Great review as always. If a game has terrible controls, I would stop playing it immediately. Especially, if like Yatzee said, there's too MUCH control!

"...Triangle to breathe, Square to process air, six-axis to wave your willy..."

 

[Wounded Melody]

The part about doing all the stuff + curing all the world's diseases and still not getting 1000 points made me choke on my breakfast.
And free health care? I wish! XD

ETA: OMG I just got I AM NOT ON FIRE wtf is wrong with me today??? Well, very happy you are not on fire!

 

[amodelmerol]

Haven't played it...and thanks to Yahtzee I probably never will

 

[MasterOfHisOwnDomain]

Hah very nice. Midway into that I was giggling like a little nancy girl..

 

[chenry]

I just rented Skate II and I've got to say that this review is absolutely BANG ON. I am by no definition a skater.

First, I have no idea what anyone is saying, even turning on the subtitles doesn't help. I thought maybe it was just because everyone in the game mumbles. Probably had their jaws wired shut. But it turns out they're speaking audibly, it's just jibberish.

I had no idea anyone in this game is a real person, so when when everyone was like HOLY SHIT IT'S DANNY WAY! I'm totally bored and unimpressed.

I also found the game is really inconsistent in it's instructions. At one point I'm challenged to do a Hippy Jump, a finger flip, and then a late flip. The game was nice enough to tell me how to do a Hippy Jump since I'd never done one, but for the next two tricks it was a big old FUCK YOU FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELF, YOU NONCE.

The bone-smashing mini game is really the only thing I'm having fun with. They're even nice enough to give you money for mangling your body, so that's great. Even if you absolutely suck at skating, all you have to do is fling yourself down a hill and fall off your board for stacks of money.

I'm positive if you're into skating, the game is OMG AWESOME or whatever they're say. "Mad sick"? I dunno. Anywho, the game is really well made, but it's just so inaccessible to me.