Zero Punctuation: Valkyria Chronicles

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nipsen

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Evil Tim said:
That's an abysmal example. A sound argument and a comforting one are not the same thing.
"Dats just yoor opin-i-un", Evil Tim.

Anyway - did some asshole just say further up in the thread that their "faith was restored" when it comes to Yathzee's reviews? Seriously, apart from the one "republican" reference, it's a xenophobic rant about sexually confused and imperial evil Japan, interspersed with hitler- jokes, that only dipshits with the brain of a pea find funny. And that's who it's written for - utterly fractured tripe with no thread going through the writing or the jokes, except for the fact that all the individual pieces slag foreigners and their stupid fucking habits, while making retarded assumptions about their history, whether it is last week or last century.

Bah. Fuck it.
 

akmarksman

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Mar 28, 2008
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last!

I don't know if you could classify Parasite Eve as a JRPG..but it's about the only RPG game I've ever played..but I did like it..the whole mitochondrial science thing was cool.

Not a fan of anime and certainly not a fan of JRPGs.

SandroTheMaster said:
About the Republicans joke. It's no big deal. Politicians ARE soulless baby-eating creatures of the darkness as a general rule. I still don't trust that Obama guy for the sole fact that he still is, in fact, a politician. The Republicans (the American ones, this is important) just have more of a fame there lately for their pseudo-nazi way of view (just change Aryan race for American race and you'll see) and mostly because of Bush's 8 years of telling the whole world to go fuck themselves (the world end up resenting stuff like this).
The world had it coming did they not? 8 years and no terrorist attacks.A scare of avian flu..granted flu kills 34,000 worldwide annually,but the media seems to forget facts like that.
Bear in mind,the previous administration (Clinton) allowed OBL to get away so 4+years of rage against the "infidels" builds up and guess what happens?

How many world wars has the USA had to get in and win while Europe couldn't?
How many other groups have broken away from mainland Europe and started their own country?

Democrats are no better..the economic collapse sailed just fine through 2 terms of a democratically controlled congress..but it's Bush's fault. Hurricane Katrina? Can't point the finger at the people that had PLENTY of warning and waited for the government to rescue them..so blame Bush.Don't hold FEMA accountable..just blame Bush.

Kayne says Bush doesn't like black people..who knows?..maybe he doesn't,but that is his choice.
Can you blame him? Slavery did not start in the United States,it was brought here.
If all the african-americans are so much for wanting their "motherland" by all means..we can send them back. Will they live with ethnic cleansing? Malaria? AIDS?

What color skin is BHO's mom?

There is a good chance I might get banned for voicing my opinions and posting this may make me seem racist..but as minorities go..my ethnic group is pretty low population wise.(I'm native American) I say the Native Americans did not have strong enough borders and laws..which coincidentally the USA has a problem with now.

I don't have a problem with most races,unless their stereotypes reinforce their perceived stereotypical behavior.

Yes your a PROUD (insert race/gender/sexual preference here) but are you anything else?

I don't consider myself a PROUD native american or any of my other ethnic background,I don't have to make it known to everyone around me just who I am and where I'm from and who my relatives are.
 

mike1921

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Onyx Oblivion said:
mike1921 said:
Onyx Oblivion said:
Don't know why I watch this anymore...It's just not funny anymore, and he never actually reviews the game. He even failed to mention the beautiful art style.

There's only so much JRPG bashing that I can take before my head asplodes.
He rarely mentions graphics. Remember the crysis review? He wants to work the story and gameplay gnomes. Sure, he gave a mention in his thief review but that wasn't really a criticism. Mentions of graphics shouldn't be an expectation, unless the person reviewing is a graphics whore.
In a case like this, I believe they deserve a mention. Have you seen the beautiful style of this game?
Yes, yes I have, and it's not that beautiful, yes it looks great. And while they may deserve a mention, but you shouldn't demand one and act like it's bad if a reviewer doesn't mention it.
 

mike1921

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Mr. Blond said:
until yahtzee admits these are really just very clever and funny rants i'll keep pointing out that, THAT WAS NOT A REVIEW!!!!...could anyone tell if he even liked the game?...did he finish it or did he just play enough so he had 5 minutes worth of jokes...i would understand...i will keep watching every week religiously regardless..."m@therfu@kery",can't wait to use that one...but i digress, yahtzee if you read these, despite your contempt for fans, please figure a way to express how much you liked a game...4 out of 5 headless pets...shit, maybe i'm asking for too much...nevermind
Ratings are shit. You're supposed to form your own opinion from a review. Also the impression I got was he thought the game was on the upper end of bad, lower end of OK.

You don't need to finish a game to make a judgement on it, that's ridiculous.
MaxTheReaper said:
I kind of miss the days when the people who yelled "FURST" got banned.
So do I, in fact, I was hoping they'd get perma-banned eventually.
 

sarahvait

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I don't get why this is such a big deal. I wasn't expecting him to like the game. I however am a fan of JRPGs and anime, and will probably enjoy it quite a bit. Old Ben saying he doesn't like it isn't going to deter me. If it does deter someone else from playing who actually might have enjoyed the game, well, that's why you shouldn't base your game purchases on one review.

Though I will say that most of the next-gen JRPGs seem a bit...meh as opposed to what they used to be. I say seem because I only have a Wii, so I don't get to play a lot of them. So yeah, I am generalizing without full proof. Maybe it's just because I'm one of those "gaming's not what it used to be!" old timers. NOW GET OFF MY LAWN, YOU DARN KIDS!!!
 

Evil Tim

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mike1921 said:
Ratings are shit.
Ratings are useful in some instances. Specifically, on the back of game boxes, since if there's no rating beside the quote it generally means it's an out of context quote from a bad review or preview.

A big old 3/10 might seem like the reviewer making up his mind for you, but it prevents other people trying to paint a review intended by the writer to be negative as positive, and makes it easier for the reviewer's lawyers to argue he's being misrepresented on purpose. Call it bullshit insurance.
 

mike1921

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Evil Tim said:
mike1921 said:
Ratings are shit.
Ratings are useful in some instances. Specifically, on the back of game boxes, since if there's no rating beside the quote it generally means it's an out of context quote from a bad review or preview.

A big old 3/10 might seem like the reviewer making up his mind for you, but it prevents other people trying to paint a review intended by the writer to be negative as positive. Call it bullshit insurance.
hmm, fair enough, but the reasons mr blond gave aren't the reason their should be ratings.
 

rorymclean12

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Apr 2, 2009
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good review my mate loves this game so your review made him sad but over all good review pity how this game isn't for 360 it looks fun =)
 

Lord_Jaroh

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Max-Vader said:
TetsuoKaneda said:
Oh, I'm sorry, was there any point to your ad-hominem zealotry? Because it just seems like you and Yahtzee have a difference of opinion on the game, and nothing more. Way I see it, he played the game, didn't like it, wrote a review about what he didn't like, and then put it up here for public scrutiny. Why does it matter whether or not he beat the game? I haven't beaten Jade Empire, but I know I like it. Which is why I own it and will continue to play it. I do not own Halo, and I didn't have to beat it to know that I wouldn't even dignify it as a shiny frisbee. And the "he's just bad at it, that's why he hates it" nonsense? Stop. Please. That factors into everyone's reviews of games, not just Yahtzee's.
What ad-hominem zealotry? Do you even know what an ad hominem is? I didn't attack him personally. I didn't say he is bad at it. And I know why he hates it. My problem is not his opinion - for all I care he could think that JRPG-players deserve to die. I'm bothered by the fact that his opinion is based on false "data", so to say. And that is where the "he didn't finish it" becomes important, because as I said he either played it not long enugh, then he shouldn't complain about the story because he doesn't know it, or he is lying.
I own Valkyria Chronicals and I have not finished it yet. I can safely say that the last battle, where I am currently, is a crappy battle compared to the rest of the game. Since I have not finished the game yet, is my opinion on how much I like or dislike the game valid? I happened to enjoy the pseudo-WWII story-line (which I think they told that way just to avoid stepping on peoples toes, in my opinion), although I thought a great number of the characters were tripe, as are most JRPG characters. I thought the game was a good first attempt at blending two genres that don't normally go together, and I eagerly anticipate more.

I can totally understand where Yahtzee was coming from with the menus. I had commented on those myself. They are unnecessarily clutter, and very excessive, leading to more load time navigating the menus than playing the game. As well, the cut scene "choosing" was absolutely pointless. I can see choosing individual ones "after the fact", but not on your first playthrough. Many of the characters were terrible, but that is less a fault of this game and more a fault of the Japanese game development community that really doesn't put any thought into making their characters believable.

Why does a person have to finish a game in order to form an opinion on it? There are many games out there that I know I will dislike playing, just based on the style they are, and my preferred playstyle being at odds. That doesn't necessarily mean they are bad games, just that they are bad games for me. To have to sit through an entire game only to then decide if you like it or not...well that's kind of silly, and pointless. He dislikes JRPGs, so why harp on him for sharing that opinion, when we already know it? He was just giving us his reasons, and if you can't accept that, then you have no business reading/watching reviews as you are easily swayed by other peoples' opinions.
 

Terrik

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Onmi said:
Universal Millitary Uniform= Silly Costumes?

From what I've seen the women wear skirts in combat, that IS silly. Especially when it's called "Universal Millitary Uniform".

Great review as always. Funny that pretty much everyone with an anime style avatar that's commented seems to hate this review :p.
 

arkblazer

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Kinda weird that yahtzee decided to review this jrpg when its almost a year old; and also what a weird coincidence that the new valkirya chronicles anime is airing right now in japan. something tells me that a certain british game reviewer is a closet otaku :p

anyway for those valkirya fanboys that are raging cuz of the review and to those that wont buy it because yahtzee trolled the shit out of the game; i just have to say that if you read between the lines you can see that yahtzee really loved the game, in fact his totally tsundere for it.

after all halo wars was also a strategy game, and it didn't convert yahtzee, yet Mr. trolly mcspeedytongue here admitted that he had fun, and we all know thats the best complement he can ever give to a game.

P.S. yahtzee please review shadow of the colossus. please, pretty please, with sugar on top. ^^
 

Malmer

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Apr 23, 2008
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Take THAT you otaku boy lovers, right up your bum next to your lubricated figurines! =^^=

On a more serious note, I've laughed out loud at many of this years reviews. I feel like they have the spirit of the old ones, but I don't know exactly why those few in the middle of it all didn't.
 

Stewie Plisken

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Jan 3, 2009
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This again? I see a pattern forming pretty fast. So, let's go about it once again, even though you'd think people would've got it in their thick skulls by now.

1) Yahtzee is a critic. It's his job to point out the things he didn't like.
2) A review or, especially, a critique is there to help people decide whether they should buy a game or not. This stupid industry has become so bloated that people tend to forget that. It's great if you folks who can buy a game every week want to pick x game up, but for those of us who can afford a title per two months, any other kind of review won't cut it.
3) If seeing a review you disagree with makes you feel sad inside, you are a fanboy. If you're not a fanboy, then you just have issues. As simple as that.
4) I find it kind of funny how people crucify Yahtzee for reviewing genres he's made clear he doesn't like, but conveniently ignore the fact that he reviewed the game on its own merits; 2/3 of the video was about the gameplay.
5) People really should look up the word troll before using it next time.
 

Gladion

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Jan 19, 2009
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Anyone who takes his reviews seriously should be punished. Although I check out games he recommends, which is rare - but some of them, I like, too.
 

Vlane

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kappa99 said:
Wondering when they are going to change the "EVERY WEDNESDAY YAHTZEE...." when it is always $@#%ing THURSDAY that they release the reviews
I live in europe and his videos get released every wednesday around 18:00.