Apologize on behalf of your country

[Weslebear]

England, we're sorry you don't understand sarcasm ;3.

 

[Marmalade]

I, Marmalade, on behalf of Sweden apologize about dynamite.

 

[Kanatatsu]

On behalf of Canada, I apologise to the world for Toronto, and in particular to any Michigan residents here, I apologise for all the garbage Toronto sent to you.

Oh please. The rest of Canada should be down on their knees thanking Toronto for being the only globally relevant city in the country. And no, Montreal is not globally relevant, nor is Vancouver, or Calgary, etc.

 

[supermariner]

i'd like to apologise on behalf of britain for invading the fuck out of everything at one point and taxing the countries we conquered heavily to bloat our own economy

and for N-Dubz
cannot apologise enough for fucking N-dubz

 

[NLS]

I'm sorry on behalf of Norway, for Petter Northug being such a bad loser and winner.

 

[geldonyetich]

Sorry but, as an American, being unapologetic is our whole thing.

 

[Naeo]

I'm American. I am sorry for...well, where should I start?

I apologize for Dick Cheney, George Dubya Bush, and his entire administration.

I apologize for Obama not doing shit as president.

I apologize for my country being several decades behind most other western nations in civil liberties and, you know, that freedom and democracy thing we tout about so damn often (we are absolutely not a democracy, though we definitely have aspects of it).

I apologize for our shitty television. But I do not apologize for the epic television we sometimes have.

I apologize for the 1960s and the 1970s. Namely the hippies. I am so, so sorry for that.

I apologize for all the rude, pushy American tourists everywhere. I hate them too. Let's hate them together. Them and their stupid damn Hawaiian shirts.

I apologize for Snooki and the whole cast of Jersey Shore and basically all reality television. It is the cesspool of television.

I apologize for everyone still hating the Russians in video games.

I apologize for all the people who shout clearly ignorant bullshit in public about "Islam is the devil" and so on and so forth despite usually not knowing a thing about what they're talking about.

I apologize for the ignorant statement that Muslims are terrorists, that Islam promotes terrorism, etc etc which is flatly untrue.

I apologize for the general ignorance of the majority of Americans on, well, most subjects.

I apologize for the American attitude of "liberty or death, but I only care if it's mine."

And lastly, I apologize that so many people try to apologize for every little thing America has done and thereby suck up to other countries. Yeah, we've fucked up, but so has every country. And there's only so much we should really apologize for and at a certain point we ought to say "Yeah, great, that one you have to deal with because we're looking after ourselves and our own interests there and it's not really affecting you."

 

[gigastar]

Ok... seems easy enough...

On behalf of not so Great Britan, I apologize to the following for listed reasons.

All former territories of the British Empire, for exactly that.

Australia, for cramming you with more convicts than was apparently good for you.

India, for using you as a playground for war with the French.

Everywhere else in the world, for America. Lets face it if we knew what was going to happen back then we would have made sure Washington never got more than four steps from his house

Also while I remember this an American needs to apologise for the following-
-Vietnam
-Michael Bay
-High School Musical
-Whichever asstard it was who came up with DRM, and EA for popularising it.
-All of 4kids anime dubs. Dont pretend you dont know what im talking about.

 

[Boom129]

wat should germany have to apologize for *grin*

Can't think of anything either.
Well our current foreign secretary perhaps. Hes an idiot.

And perhaps the Trabant (not sure if that counts)

 

[Spark Ignition]

Sorry for... haggis? Ok haggis tastes like shit but that's not my fault I hate it and in no way contribute to the haggis market.
Why am I apologising?

 

[theSovietConnection]

On behalf of Canada, I apologise to the world for Toronto, and in particular to any Michigan residents here, I apologise for all the garbage Toronto sent to you.

Oh please. The rest of Canada should be down on their knees thanking Toronto for being the only globally relevant city in the country. And no, Montreal is not globally relevant, nor is Vancouver, or Calgary, etc.

Oh really? And why, may I ask, is Toronto the only globally relevant city in Canada?

 

[mjc0961]

Being American, I'm pretty sure Taylor Swift is one of our fuck-ups (she might be from somewhere else but I don't want to look it up and have to see a picture of her nasty, pale as shit face). In which case, we really fucked up on this one. Sorry about that, rest of the world.

Oh, and sorry about Jersey and their shore as well.

 

[Boom129]

I give my apologies to the Philippines, Panama, and perhaps Puerto Rico

 

[TheRobotandtheBeast]

As New Zealand has pretty much nothing to apologize to the world for, it does have to apologize to it's natives.

I'm sorry for dicking you out of your land. sux to be you.

 

[Blaster395]

Representing England, I apologize for our country creating a joke that has turned into an epidemic killing millions worldwide.

I suck at embedding vids
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gpjk_MaCGM

 

[zenoaugustus]

Dear World,

I, Mack the Knife, apologise for nothing. My country is-and will always be-its little cesspit of problems, its carnival of drugs, football violence, backwardness and alcohol. A ramshackle nation strung together by swindling independance-wanting bastards, dole-dependant tosspots and bored stab-happy teenagers, presided over by a few honest taxpayers and the Nanny State.

But we are honest with ourselves; we know we are shit, and yet still try to do the best with what we have. We know we are the fattest, the meanest, the most pathetic, miserable, servile trash ever shat into existance. And yet we plough on, with none of England's arrogance, Irelands nationalism tripe, or the simple timidity of the Welsh.

So bring your insults and your woes. Bring your Tennants special ale, your expensive cigarettes and cheap booze. Bring your smack, your crack, your cocaine, your junk-food and no salad. Bring your perversions, your anger, your hate, your contempt for every other miserable fucking creature in this world, and love only the fast-track to early death of cancer or obesity.

Welcome to fucking Scotland; leave your sanity, your decency and your scruples at the door, and have a fucking great time.

-Mack the Knife.

...

[sub] This was all in good, if nasty, humour. I love my country. [/sub]

That was hilarious. I'm enticed to visit Scotland very much so now. And I'm sure it is actually nice...

And on behalf of America I apologize for... shit. I don't really have time to list every single little (and big) thing. More or less, we're sorry as all hell. Well, I am at least. And the rest of us (the vocal minority). Everyone else really isn't. But if it makes everyone else feel better, I'm sorry.

And on a side note, I do love my country, I just wish we'd use our power and influence for slightly more noble goals every now and again rather than being focused on ourselves. We do quite a deal for the world, but not nearly as much as there should be done.

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

I'm American, so there's not enough room on this thread.

 

[DarkRyter]

We're sorry for all the war rape.

We feel pretty bad about that.

 

[Leg End]

I, Leumas Selaznog, on behalf of The United States of America, hereby apologize, for

I also apologize to Japan for dropping the Little Boy and Fat Man.

Because such weapons, must never be used, now or ever , against your fellow man, under ANY circumstances.
I gave humans such power to fight off a far worse threat, not to kill each other over such disagreements.

Sorry you feel that way, but when legally facing an enemy (both soldiers and civilians) that are willing to die in large zergling like charges to overrun your position and kill your troops, when facing someone who will not give up until shown that you can harm them without harming yourself in the same fashion, when facing the decision to bomb and kill 250,000 over the next ten years, or plan for ground action and loose 1,200,000 casualties (267,000 of your soldiers dead, the balance wounded/crippled) AND casualties of men women and children in Japan...you bomb.

I lived through Carter and Reagan and the Red Russian scare. Three Mile Island and Chernobyl. Mutually Assured Destruction. They are scary and undeniably lethal. But you use all tools of war to prevent further loss of life. And I hope that if in the same position with similar belligerents and circumstances that the same decision would be made.

Trust me, there are... alternative weapons, to use. Such as kinet cular manipulation.
Actually, pretend we never had this conversation.

[sub][sub][sub]For the safety of the planet. Yes, I am serious. [/sub][/sub][/sub]

 

[Hellz_Barz]

On behalf of Australia, I apologise that we almost sacrificed Hugh Jackman in the name of Oprah.