Apologize on behalf of your country

[The Funslinger]

I will watch this thread waiting for an Englishman to apologize for Howard Webb's existence.

fine, we're sorry. I'm pretty sure he's been kicked to death by football (not soccer!!!) hooligans by now, anyway.

I apologise for Lee Evans, and our part in the slave trade, uh... the invention of Heroin, and I extremely apologize for not making Terry Pratchett supreme overlord of everything.

On the other hand, you do have to thank us for Stephen Fry... and Terry Pratchett.

 

[JemothSkarii]

On behalf of Australia, I apologise for being a massive Nanny state that also hate video game...oh, and being so fucking hot.
Everything else is good though.
We cool?

 

[RaZor921]

Colombia: Umm.... help me out people!

For the drugs

And the gangs and gang related violence

That's a byproduct of the drugs

 

[Boom129]

On behalf of Australia, I apologize for the following

-Not doing shit to anyone
-Not failing at maintaing a stable economy
-Not suffering from terrorism
-Not being arrogant and self absorbed
-Not having our own demented version of the ENGLISH language
-Not being at war with anyone
-Being so laid back that 'patriotism' doesn't include knowing any part of the national anthem
-Putting up with the rest of the world's shit
-Inventing the Bikini
-Just generally being awesome

Yep, I thnk that'll do.

what about Michael Atkinson?

 

[badgersprite]

I apologize for Rupert Murdock, that unintentionally racist KFC commercial, and Ugg Boots.

Shape up, Australia.

 

[Caiti Voltaire]

Dear World,

I, Mack the Knife, apologise for nothing. My country is-and will always be-its little cesspit of problems, its carnival of drugs, football violence, backwardness and alcohol. A ramshackle nation strung together by swindling independance-wanting bastards, dole-dependant tosspots and bored stab-happy teenagers, presided over by a few honest taxpayers and the Nanny State.

But we are honest with ourselves; we know we are shit, and yet still try to do the best with what we have. We know we are the fattest, the meanest, the most pathetic, miserable, servile trash ever shat into existance. And yet we plough on, with none of England's arrogance, Irelands nationalism tripe, or the simple timidity of the Welsh.

So bring your insults and your woes. Bring your Tennants special ale, your expensive cigarettes and cheap booze. Bring your smack, your crack, your cocaine, your junk-food and no salad. Bring your perversions, your anger, your hate, your contempt for every other miserable fucking creature in this world, and love only the fast-track to early death of cancer or obesity.

Welcome to fucking Scotland; leave your sanity, your decency and your scruples at the door, and have a fucking great time.

-Mack the Knife.

...

[sub] This was all in good, if nasty, humour. I love my country. [/sub]

Timid Welsh? We must not be meeting the same Welsh people.

Anyways, on behalf of the country of my birth (scotland), the only apology I could make is, that I am deeply sorry for haggis. It is obviously far too awesome for the world at large's meagre taste buds and for that I am sorry.

I'd apologise for kilts, but the kilts people know these days were made by the French anyways.

I'd apologise for Canada, but they spend too much time trying to be inoffensive that Im not sure what to apologise for.

 

[Lord Wafflemire]

On behalf of Australia, I apologize for the following

-Not doing shit to anyone
-Not failing at maintaing a stable economy
-Not suffering from terrorism
-Not being arrogant and self absorbed
-Not having our own demented version of the ENGLISH language
-Not being at war with anyone
-Being so laid back that 'patriotism' doesn't include knowing any part of the national anthem
-Putting up with the rest of the world's shit
-Inventing the Bikini
-Just generally being awesome

Yep, I thnk that'll do.

what about Michael Atkinson?

That's an internal issue, it has no effecot on anyone else

 

[bloodrayne626]

On behalf of Australia, I apologize for the following

-Not doing shit to anyone
-Not failing at maintaing a stable economy
-Not suffering from terrorism
-Not being arrogant and self absorbed
-Not having our own demented version of the ENGLISH language
-Not being at war with anyone
-Being so laid back that 'patriotism' doesn't include knowing any part of the national anthem
-Putting up with the rest of the world's shit
-Inventing the Bikini
-Just generally being awesome

Yep, I thnk that'll do.

what about Michael Atkinson?

Just remember that the "American Atkinson" (Jack Thompson) did pretty much the same thing.
And yeah, on behalf of the Australians who give two, I'd like to apologize for the actions of Michael Atkinson, and Julia Gillard.
Never before has a nation been so disgraced at the sight of a redhead-PM.

 

[The Seldom Seen Kid]

In behalf of Canada, and Montreal, I sincerely apologize for that Prince of Persia reboot we did at some point. Forget that ever existed. kthx.

 

[darkknight9]

I, Leumas Selaznog, on behalf of The United States of America, hereby apologize, for

I also apologize to Japan for dropping the Little Boy and Fat Man.

Because such weapons, must never be used, now or ever , against your fellow man, under ANY circumstances.
I gave humans such power to fight off a far worse threat, not to kill each other over such disagreements.

Sorry you feel that way, but when legally facing an enemy (both soldiers and civilians) that are willing to die in large zergling like charges to overrun your position and kill your troops, when facing someone who will not give up until shown that you can harm them without harming yourself in the same fashion, when facing the decision to bomb and kill 250,000 over the next ten years, or plan for ground action and loose 1,200,000 casualties (267,000 of your soldiers dead, the balance wounded/crippled) AND casualties of men women and children in Japan...you bomb.

I lived through Carter and Reagan and the Red Russian scare. Three Mile Island and Chernobyl. Mutually Assured Destruction. They are scary and undeniably lethal. But you use all tools of war to prevent further loss of life. And I hope that if in the same position with similar belligerents and circumstances that the same decision would be made.

 

[StraightToHeck]

On behalf of the U.S.A., I would like to give a sincere, heartfelt apology to the rest of the world for unleashing the plague of "reality" television.

 

[Sjakie]

On behalf of The Netherlands, i would like to apologize for...i dunno? our liberal interpretation of certain druglaws and freely expressed sexual morality?

oh, heres a good one: were sorry we founded New York and shipping of all our religious nutcases to it back in the day.
And we are mostly sorry for the TV reality show called: Big Brother.

 

[nooneisusingthisname]

i'm sorry suarez put his hand in the way in the match against ghana. (even though ghana totally cheated against the us) still, unjustified. our bad.

 

[Znakemane]

On behalf of Norway I apologise for the whole Viking thing, you know raping and pillaging our way through Europe. I know Denmark and Sweden should join in to, but I apologise for Norway's part in it.

While i do chime in on the Apology, from Denmark this time, i would still argue that the vikings were kinda awesome.
However, on behalf of Denmark, i would like to apologize for our great policy of sucking america off for the last couple of decades. We're trying to quit, honest!

 

[AngryLawnNinja]

On behalf of The Netherlands (Holland for some), I sincerely apologize for producing a man named
Geert Wilders. Even though he may be quite funny at times xD

Cheers!

 

[The Seldom Seen Kid]

On behalf of Canada I apologize for apologizing so much.

Wait.

 

[Jokuma]

From America: Sorry for stealing other countries ideas, and calling them our own creations. A side apology goes for many more recent events that do not need to be mentioned.

 

[Andy Shandy]

On behalf of Scotland, I apologise for...
Glasgow Celtic and Glasgow Rangers
Neds
Ewan McGregor (although we made up for it with David Tennant )
Rampant alcoholism
The song Chasing Cars (although Northern Ireland can also be a joint claim with us)
The guy who voices Shaun in Assassin's Creed 2
Oh and being overly patriotic at every opportunity