Caught having sex

Insomniac55

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Dec 6, 2008
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Longstreet said:
Might need to read up on her knocking etiquette,though, since it is usually common to wait till someone yells "come in" or what not instead of waiting 0.000000001 second and then opening the door anyway.
Haha, THIS! One thousand times this! I've not been caught yet, and when I lived at home my parents gave me well enough privacy when my girlfriend was over... But whenever Mum knocked on my door at other time, she would burst in before I could reply. I had to flatly tell her that if I was... 'doing anything', that seven femtoseconds would not be long enough for me to pull my pants up.


OT: If you don't include all the times we would HAVE to have been overheard at my girlfriend's place (her room was directly opposite her parents' room), the closest we came to being caught was by her sister. We weren't having sex, but we were half naked and mucking about in the back seat of her car, which was parked in the garage (we had no time to go into the house :p). Suddenly, the roller door behind us went up and headlights blasted into the car as her sister arrived home... We both ducked and waited (the radio of the car was on so that was a bit of a giveaway) yet her sister either had the sense not to investigate, or was oblivious. Phew!

CAPTCHA: 'Hairy Eyeball'

...Well, I can't say I've heard it called THAT before!
 

Ledan

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Apr 15, 2009
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Last year, I went to a boarding school. I lived in a house with very thin walls, loud music and alarms were often the cause of arguments. My girlfriend lived in the house opposite mine.
She was often very loud, so we had many akward moments when we went down to the kitchen to eat... oh! and the houseparents had a tendency of never knocking.
 

JWRosser

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Jul 4, 2006
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My mum kind of walked in on me going down on a girl once. My bedroom door didn't close properly. It was late at night and I assumed that everyone was a sleep....and then I heard a knock and my mum, still outside, said "I think you should probably go to sleep now..."
Next day I apologised and she just said she's not stupid and knows what we do, just as long as I don't do it when she's around.

My parents know what I'm up to if there's a girl round. I know that they would knock, but there is always the risk.
 
Aug 25, 2009
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Not exactly.

Never had sex with a girl while the 'rents have been in the house (for obvious reasons) and doors at uni had locks on 'em.

However, we used to have a very friendly neighbour, who would always 'just pop round' at all sorts of weird hours for a chat. One time while my girlfriend and I were mid-coitus there was a knock at the door. Oh, and did I say mid-coitus? I meant that she was mid-orgasm when the door knocked.

That was a weird situation, especially because he didn't go away, he just kept knocking (obviously he could see my bedroom light was on) for nearly ten minutes until I went down to talk to him.
 
Aug 25, 2009
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Don Savik said:
Coming from a person who has never had a girlfriend but is still completely logical about relationship mindsets.....

Why would you have sex in a house full of people with the doors unlocked? Does the excitement of being caught intrigue you, or are you just plain old stupid? And if it does intrigue you, then why are you ashamed and embarrassed when it happens? It seems like your asking for it to be honest.

Is it that hard to say your going over to a friend's house without telling them which friend? Then go to a motel or something so you don't have to be quiet?
Risingblade said:
Really how hard is it to lock the fucking door? Nobody wants to walk in or be walked in on. Also who the fuck does that while their mother is in the house?
What if your door doesn't have a lock? My parents actually at one point forbid me from having a lock on the inside of my door as long as I was living under their roof.

Of course, they also knock and wait for me to say 'come in,' or 'I'm decent,' or whatnot. I've heard about families whose parents just barge into their rooms. I'm really really glad I don't live in one.
 

RustlessPotato

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Aug 17, 2009
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I thought I was home alone when my Ex and I were going to do the horizontal tango. My sister (who's 5 years older than me) came home and for some reasons decided to investigate the noises coming out of my room. And before I knew it I heard the door open with a "Martin AAAAH" !.

From that day on (it's been 3 years), she always knocks.
 

TheScottishFella

The Know-it all Detective
Nov 9, 2009
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Mr.K. said:
Never by my folks, but one of my GFs sister walked in on us once, which really wasn't a big deal and she was oddly reluctant to leave.
This thread gets dirtier by the post.

Anyway no, but I have walked in on my sister having sex apparently but for the life of me I can't remember.
 

Deviluk

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Jul 1, 2009
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2HF said:
When I was 16 years old I had my first girlfriend and we made out all the time(Score!). Every time we did her little brother would run to their mom screaming "They're doing S.E.X!!!". At first she'd come and peak in on us in her room just to make sure we weren't going any further than making out. Eventually she stopped checking on us. So one day we were in my girl's room and we really were about to have sex for the first time. Her little brother walked in (we were allowed to close the door but not lock it, shut up) and saw us and went screaming to his mother that we were "doing S.E.X.". We weren't about to risk it so we hastily put our pants back on and went back to watching whatever we had been watching. Her mother didn't come to check on us but we never got to try again, we broke up soon after, and I was sexually frustrated for the next 6 years.

The moral of this story? Fuck little brothers, just fuck all of em!
...ouch. Little brothers, the ultimate contraceptive...I hope that didn't come out wrong.

OP: never been caught, but once me and my girlfriend were house sitting for her brother, and it was post-coitus, as sheldon cooper would say, we were laying with not much on, when we heard the door open...I had to hurriedly put on my trousers and belt quietly and quickly, and jump in the living room and then spend 30 minutes talking to him and his gf, not knowing my flies were undone and my shirt was on inside out.
 

Latinidiot

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Feb 19, 2009
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Yeah, oh man. It was fuckin hilarious.


So here's me and my at the time grlfriend, we're gettin it on in her house. Enter her little brother. The little shit didn't even have the decency to be young and oblivious, he was like 15 at the time. Anyway, I could get a blanket over the two of us just before he peeked around the bloody corner.

He then had the gall to ask what we were doing.

I replied to him very calmly that we were in the middle of a yoga session.

He crept back around the corner very quietly, and then the girl and I laughed for half an hour.
 

Xannidel

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Feb 16, 2011
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Never been caught because when I was with one of my exs we would do it when no one else was around to walk in on us. One of the last times we tried that was in my dorms and luckily it was a 4 bedroom/1 living room suites so we had all the privacy in the world but that didn't stop us from turning loud music on.

My only advice is to either wait until noone is there or go somewhere outside where it is more secluded. I would recommend the backseat of your car but different cars may be more or less comfortable.
 

Frozen Fox

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Mar 23, 2012
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DANEgerous said:
I did once, gay sex to. ************ broke my lock to use my bathroom and was absolutely wasted and though i was with a woman and asked to join then told me I was an evil ****** and left... i tracked him down and got the money to fix my door then never saw him again, likely for the best.
Yeah have to say if you asked the kid that walked in on you to sleep with you he likely would. You know that stat that states people that are hostile towards gays are likely to be gay? It is quite true, and it tends to be when they have anger towards it rather than disgust or the ignorance.

I know this because well... i have used it to get such people in bed, behind closed doors they are just the same as the gayest of men.
 

Psychedelic Spartan

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Sep 15, 2011
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Matthew94 said:
Sean Hollyman said:
I've never even done it, never even had a girlfiend o_O


We all know that feel bro. We just have to pray things will work out.
Same here man! Say, you guys don't happen to know if yahtzee has the blueprints for the wireless blowjob dispenser he's talked about, do you?
 

DoPo

"You're not cleared for that."
Jan 30, 2012
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Daystar Clarion said:
I've never been caught.

And I've been with the same girl since I was 15.
You know who hasn't been caught having sex by his parents? Batman.

Are you Batman?
 

lRookiel

Lord of Infinite Grins
Jun 30, 2011
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..................

That is all I have to say on this matter I'm afraid.

:*3
 

SpectacularWebHead

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Jun 11, 2012
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2HF said:
When I was 16 years old I had my first girlfriend and we made out all the time(Score!). Every time we did her little brother would run to their mom screaming "They're doing S.E.X!!!". At first she'd come and peak in on us in her room just to make sure we weren't going any further than making out. Eventually she stopped checking on us. So one day we were in my girl's room and we really were about to have sex for the first time. Her little brother walked in (we were allowed to close the door but not lock it, shut up) and saw us and went screaming to his mother that we were "doing S.E.X.". We weren't about to risk it so we hastily put our pants back on and went back to watching whatever we had been watching. Her mother didn't come to check on us but we never got to try again, we broke up soon after, and I was sexually frustrated for the next 6 years.

The moral of this story? Fuck little brothers, just fuck all of em!
Woah, Woah, I know you're sexually frustrated, but you don't have to resort to shagging her little brother!

Um, only thing thats ever happened to me like that (Because I am every stereotype of awkwardness and have never actually had a boy/girlfriend) was that I once had a friend-who-is-a-girl (and also a lesbian) over and my mum, in front of her, said "If you're going to get up to any of 'the business' use protection." AND HANDED ME A CONDOM.
Parents are EVIL
 

SpectacularWebHead

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Jun 11, 2012
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DoPo said:
Daystar Clarion said:
I've never been caught.

And I've been with the same girl since I was 15.
You know who hasn't been caught having sex by his parents? Batman.

Are you Batman?

When I walk down the street,
This is what I see.
All the punks stop and they're staring at me.
I got a batarang in my hand and I ain't afraid to
throw it, throw it, throw it
I'm batman and I know

I'M BATMAN

And I don't appreciate your comments about my parents.