Could You Date A Transexual?

Doneeee

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wintercoat said:
I am about 80% sure that I would be okay with dating a MtoF trans. I mean, as long as I find them attractive, both mentally and physically, the fuck do I care what they were born as? Be a bit weird at first if our relationship is physical, me not being much of a fan of penis and all, and post-op vag is a bit...off...but hey, what's a relationship without obstacles to overcome? If I care enough about them, I'll get over myself eventually. And if I really care about them, then I doubt it will be a problem in the first place.
Well thanks to you I Googled "post op vag." Unfortunately for me there were some during operation and horrible operation pictures. :(
OT: I don't know. I guess it would have to depend on the person.
 

Helmholtz Watson

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Casual Shinji said:
Why do these transgender threads always exude this vibe that not being able to be physically attracted to every human being on the planet makes you a bad person?
Because there are people who feel the need to pressure others into not just tolerating them but accept and support them even if they don't want to. As far as I'm concerned, as long as you don't go out of your way to harm/harass a transgendered person, you are ok. Its like political parties, you shouldn't have to like and support every political party but you also shouldn't attack/harass them.
 

Ryan Minns

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Well I am in a relationship at the moment but if I wasn't I have no idea how I would react and feel. It's never come up. People are always "Open and willing" to do something right up till the point they have to prove how open they are. I prefer to have a "I don't know" category until such a time where it comes up and I react.
 

Mrsoupcup

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I could get used to it, but only if said person didn't lie to me about it and was upfront.
 

Comrade_Beric

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*shrug* Sure, if I weren't married, of course. I'm not even really sure why it's much of a question. Women are women and men are men. If she was born in a body that was incorrect and needs surgery to fix it, I see that as no different than when someone is born with a defective appendix and needs to have that removed. Same goes for men. If they were born missing bits, then why wouldn't they have a surgery to put the correct bits on? It's not like we ask this kind of silliness when someone is born with only a single lung and needs to have another one put in. The only issue is procreation but, you know what, give it time. Science is always advancing and that can't be any harder to do than putting a human on Mars.
 

someonehairy-ish

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I think so. It would be an obstacle and if you'd asked me a year ago I'd have said no. Now I think that if I genuinely liked someone a lot I'd be able to get over it. Being squeamish about these things is a bit childish really.
 

mooncalf

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I've found them to be generally sensitive, intelligent people. It's kind of heartbreaking to think that even if you love and accept them, there are a lot of people out there who just wont.
 

Chaosed

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Honestly I do not even get why its a big deal. I am straight, therefor as long as the penis was "Had" not "Has" it wouldn't bother me in the slightest.
 

mike1921

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Helmholtz Watson said:
mike1921 said:
Who you are is phenotype, not genotype. Unless you jack off to karyotypes of the women you love and nitpick at them for recessive alleles they have but don't actually effect them your "THEY HAVE XY CHROMOSOMES" is rather irrelevant.
Not at all, Chromosomes are part of the overall person and if a guy with xy chromosomes gets surgery to look like a women, that is completely relevant as to whether I want to date them.
....Chromosomes are part of the overall person...ummm...Yes...I guess? They're more what determines them, and do you know what the determination

The only thing chromosomes matter for other than phenotype is reproduction. Unless you worry about everyone you date being carriers (Having the genes for but not showing) for things you find unattractive worrying about chromosomes instead of who they actually are is entirely inconsistant.

Do you care if a woman you like has trisomy X? Three X chromosomes. It won't effect her in any way besides that she has increased risk for a few things. Tell me another scenario where you care about the genes of a woman you're dating for a reason other than how it effects their body or how it effects their potential children.
DjinnFor said:
mike1921 said:
If you think "chromosomes" is a valid response to that you have no right to mention medicine
If you don't understand what Chromosomes have to do with the topic then there's really nothing that I can say other than to do some research on how Chromosomes impact the formation of sexual organs and other factors that influence your sexual orientation.
I didn't say they're irrelevant to sexual organs and orientation, I simply said that if you think "chromosomes" in and of itself is a valid response than you have no business mentioning medicine.

To say chromosomes impact the formation of sexual organs is an understatement, they determine it, along with the formation of every other organ in your body. But why does that matter? The genes that code for your appendix don't matter if your appendix gets taken out so why do your genes coding for a cock and testosterone matter after you've replaced it with a vagina and estrogen? Your genes matter for determining traits, if those traits are gone than why the hell look backwards?
mike1921 said:
Amateur doctor turning into an amateur psychologist? They grow up so fast. Or maybe you're still just an amateur doctor.
I really don't know what to say to this other than to ask how secure you are with your sexuality. Because this hostile, pointless, meaningless response leads me to believe that you were very, very hurt by something I said.
I am a straight cis male and fairly confident about all of that, and the only woman I have feelings for is cis. It was more the presumptuous attitude of acting like any feelings you have for a trans person will dissipate if you found out that annoyed me.
 

Helmholtz Watson

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krazykidd said:
Nope . Never . Ever . And if i date a person who i thought was born a woman to find out they weren't i'd probably go to jail for murder .

You know what , i think i'm going to ask ever girl i meet if they were born a girl. I'm scared now .
Um...I get that you might feel like a person abused your trust, but I think murder is an extreme response.
Flutterknight said:
Helmholtz Watson said:
biologically African-American
Regardless of the rest of your argument, please go look up the definition of "African-American" (if I had a picture of Inigo Montoya, I'd link it here) because "African-American" is not the same as having a large amount of melanin (i.e. having a skin tone that would be considered "black").
Ok, I admit that I could have used a better term. I was just struggling to think of a word that describes the various indigenous ethnic groups in Sub-Sahara Africa.
 

Helmholtz Watson

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mike1921 said:
Do you care if a woman you like has trisomy X? Three X chromosomes. It won't effect her in any way besides that she has increased risk for a few things. Tell me another scenario where you care about the genes of a woman you're dating for a reason other than how it effects their body or how it effects their potential children.
I would care about whether or not the person I was considering dating had genetic disorder. Heck, if I was a women, I probably would not want to date a guy with XYY chromosomes given what I have heard about them being more aggressive.
 

Little Gray

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CrossLOPER said:
Enlighten us with your experience. Also you can have kids, just not your biological ones.
I went to the strip club on the wrong night a few years back and they had their D line up on.
 

Ren_Li

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Eurgh. I knew I shouldn't have checked this thread.

For all those idiots who are going "if you're born with [genitalia] then you will always be [gender] in my eyes"- there is a PHYSICAL DIFFERENCE between the male brain and the female brain. And the brains of transpeople more closely resembles the brain of the gender they identify as.
So you're basically saying that, to you, the brain of ANY PERSON is less important to you than the genitalia of ANY PERSON. Because that's what you judge them on. So I hope you've got the sort of penis (or vagina) that magically appeals to everyone, because you're saying that's what matters, right?

I just want to clarify that if you have issues with dating any group of people, that's your call. If that extends to transpeople, fine, whatever, as long as you're educated and act like a decent human being about it. But these people don't seem to be keeping that particular line of thought JUST to potential partners, and are applying it to all transpeople.


To answer the question... I don't think so. I AM a transperson, one who has gone through a lot of other shit as well, and frankly, there's enough crap going on for one relationship here. I don't want to drag the other transperson's drama into this as well. I know from experience that too much crap in one relationship is an automatic self-destruct. It's not a physical thing, it's more that I know how difficult it is to go through, and I'd rather have a partner who doesn't.

To view the question from the OTHER side... It's a constant question for transpeople. Not only are they judged by random people they may have no interest in dating, but they've also got that constant knowledge that anyone they may ever be interested might be turned off dating them simply because of the way they were born. (And may even react with revulsion or violence upon discovering this.)
It's kind of a shitty situation to be in.
 

SoulSalmon

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No, I am not accepting enough for a romantic relationship with a trans.
This may seem hypocritical, I support the choice and I have trans friends[footnote]"Omg I have nothing against X, one of my best friends is X!" >.>[/footnote]. But I'm... 'too straight'? I can't think of a term for it.
Basically I don't think I can feel any romantic attraction for someone who I know is/was a male. I don't even feel attraction to non-trans females that have 'manly' features like a wide jawline or broad shoulders.

Edit: Just to clarify, The problem with dating a trans clearly falls on my head, I am the one with the problem here, not the hypothetical other person.
I am also not saying that it's impossible (it really comes down to the specific person) but I think it would take one hell of a perfect match and a fair lot of effort on both sides.
 

ShinyCharizard

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Yes but they would have to be very feminine. Seeing as how it is the female figure and mannerisms that I find attractive.
 

Psykoma

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If you were to say to me "You are not a woman I could date", I'd smile, say okay and walk away.

If you were to say to me "you are not a woman, I wouldn't date you", we're going to have a problem.


As simple as that from my perspective.
 

Instant K4rma

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Aug 29, 2008
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As much as I try to not judge people on things like that, I have to admit, I wouldn't be able to do it. I feel so bad for saying that, but I can't help it. I just couldn't.

Sorry.