Could You Date A Transexual?

[J Tyran]

Depends on what "date" means, if I met a transgender person and found them attractive I would easily have a casual physical relationship. Or one night stand or whatever, having a relationship is more complicated but not more complicated than with a born female person.

Having a relationship is all about personality, that's the most important thing. To me there is no difference if they are TG or born female its all about how you get on. I will admit that if they where part way through the transition I would have to reconcile some things about the physical side of a partnership, that would be my own problem but if the relationship was there it would be worth working through those hesitations.

 

[krazykidd]

Nope . Never . Ever . And if i date a person who i thought was born a woman to find out they weren't i'd probably go to jail for murder .

You know what , i think i'm going to ask ever girl i meet if they were born a girl. I'm scared now .

well that escalated quickly.
"Gasp, you didn't tell me you were born a certain way. Gonna have to kill you now."

Doesn't that seem like...I dunno...a bit ridiculous? Maybe somewhat psychotic? Being trans is rather a personal thing, as a tgirl myself I told my lovers before I slept with them my gender status, but I sure as hell didn't tell them when I started dating: it's not something i'd share on a first or second date. Not until i'm ready to move to the next step.

Well i have no intention of kissing/sleeping with/doing anything romantic with men. If anyone is into that i don't have a problem with that . But tricking ( yes it is a trick ) me into doing it would be terrible and would probably send me into a blind rage. I don't hit women , but a transgender is just a man/ woman than wanted to be the opposite sex . So in my mind they would be a man . It would be quite a traumatic experience for a person that ISN'T into that sort of thing, don't you think?

Also because YOU tell lovers before sleeping with them doesn't mean eveyone does . And THAT's what is scary , and a bit sickening .

That's being said i have nothing against you or any transgendered person , it's just that i'm not into that in any way form or manner . And i'm only being honest . If people want to quote me left and right to tell me i am horrible person so be it .

 

[chinangel]

Nope . Never . Ever . And if i date a person who i thought was born a woman to find out they weren't i'd probably go to jail for murder .

You know what , i think i'm going to ask ever girl i meet if they were born a girl. I'm scared now .

well that escalated quickly.
"Gasp, you didn't tell me you were born a certain way. Gonna have to kill you now."

Doesn't that seem like...I dunno...a bit ridiculous? Maybe somewhat psychotic? Being trans is rather a personal thing, as a tgirl myself I told my lovers before I slept with them my gender status, but I sure as hell didn't tell them when I started dating: it's not something i'd share on a first or second date. Not until i'm ready to move to the next step.

Well i have no intention of kissing/sleeping with/doing anything romantic with men. If anyone is into that i don't have a problem with that . But tricking ( yes it is a trick ) me into doing it would be terrible and would probably send me into a blind rage. I don't hit women , but a transgender is just a man/ woman than wanted to be the opposite sex . So in my mind they would be a man . It would be quite a traumatic experience for a person that ISN'T into that sort of thing, don't you think?

Also because YOU tell lovers before sleeping with them doesn't mean eveyone does . And THAT's what is scary , and a bit sickening .

That's being said i have nothing against you or any transgendered person , it's just that i'm not into that in any way form or manner . And i'm only being honest . If people want to quote me left and right to tell me i am horrible person so be it .

Fair enough. i think most people's (or at least my problem) is the decision to kill someone because of their gender identity.

Beyond that maybe instead of demanding a person's gender identity status, perhaps you should tell them yourself that you don't date transsexuals. put the onus on yourself, not on others.

 

[Broax]

I would like to sound all "modern" and "evolved" but truthfully I don't think I would knowingly be able to... I have nothing against GLBT (or whatever the acronym people use today) I have gay friends and colleges and I have no problem at all with them (aside from enjoying twilight and lady gaga), but at least in my mammal head a "man is a man" whatever he does. I know this might sound offensive, but its not meant to... I respect everyone's choices but as the OP said I'm not about to join such a community...

Anyway, I included the word "knowingly" because after a bit of googling I found out a couple of pictures that make me think that "on the heat of the moment" one might actually mistake a transgender vagina for a "genuine" one. And I can't really imagine people asking something "your 'jay jay' looks strange... Were you born a man?" (I imagine the dialogue along the lines of the "oh you" meme). But if they were to lie about something like that I can hardly think I'd be able to date them...

EDIT: I removed transgender 'jay jay'... I had a feeling I'd get banned for that! Just google it and you'll find it. It's a medical site, it has a couple of examples and illustrations on the procedure (I got curious, ok!?).

 

[SpectacularWebHead]

I'm bi, a guy with a vagina or a girl with a dick is really not something that would bother me if I liked them enough in the first place.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

I guess for me, it'd depend on the craftmanship of the surgeon who turned him into a her.

If I could snag a tranny that was as finely sculpted as Poison, then I probably wouldn't care. I'll go for it.

But, I don't think we've come that far yet.
Most trannies are so obviously trannies that it would just put me off.

please don't use that word..it's horrible slang and hurtful. thanks

 

[chinangel]

I guess for me, it'd depend on the craftmanship of the surgeon who turned him into a her.

If I could snag a tranny that was as finely sculpted as Poison, then I probably wouldn't care. I'll go for it.

But, I don't think we've come that far yet.
Most trannies are so obviously trannies that it would just put me off.

please don't use that word..it's horrible slang and hurtful. thanks

from one t-girl to another, there are worse words for us. Shemale for example. Ladyboy. I pick my battles. Tranny isn't that bad in comparison, so I let others use that to describe me if they must.

 

[Lieju]

Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual is not male.

Chromosomes, sorry.

how fortunate that one does not need a fetish to follow through.

Not really true. Pheromones make it such that you can generally tell at a base level what chromosomes someone has, and this will color their sexual attractiveness to you on a subconscious level accordingly. You may not agree with the use of the term "fetish" to describe someone who does not detect or interpret pheromones the way most people do, but it's sounds appropriate to me. Unless there are transgender surgeries that I'm not aware of that include pheromone-producing organs, it is absolutely the case that to find a transgendered person attractive for a heterosexual is an abnormality, or at least an oddity, or an unlikely occurrence.

Now, you might be able to will yourself to ignore your subconsciousness I guess, and assuming that the transgendered person is otherwise convincing in most or all other ways, you might end up subconsciously ignoring the pheromone cues anyways. But once you find out that they are in fact transgendered you'll probably find that your sex drive diminishes and that they feel more like a close friend or family member than a partner if there was anything between you before.

On what are you basing any of this? Scientists haven't even found a human sex pheromone, on what basis are you making all these claims about how these pheromones work?

Human sexuality isn't just simple gay/straight-thing.

 

[willsham45]

Could I date a transexual? yeah sure the same way I could date anyone regardless of many things, but will it turn into anything, Well that is something elce, and that always runs on a case my case basic, but I think I am safe to say previous gender will not be the yay or nay factor although I will not call it a possitive thing the main factors are resurved for personality, how we mesh and maybe looks to a certain degre.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

I guess for me, it'd depend on the craftmanship of the surgeon who turned him into a her.

If I could snag a tranny that was as finely sculpted as Poison, then I probably wouldn't care. I'll go for it.

But, I don't think we've come that far yet.
Most trannies are so obviously trannies that it would just put me off.

please don't use that word..it's horrible slang and hurtful. thanks

from one t-girl to another, there are worse words for us. Shemale for example. Ladyboy. I pick my battles. Tranny isn't that bad in comparison, so I let others use that to describe me if they must.

To me it's all the same "Shemale", "Ladyboy", "Tranny"- they are ALL disgusting.

 

[Smolderin]

even if i could be initially fooled into being in a relationship

....I'm not even completely sure what to say here.

medically speaking, YOU ARE A MALE

Please don't besmirch medicine to try and defend your feelings on the matter. Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual is not male. I'm not saying you have to want to date or even like transsexuals, but don't hide behind "medicine" to cover YOUR issues with it. That's akin to saying "scientifically speaking, the negro is an inferior species" to explain why you'd never date a black person.

You can't just slap "science!" on your phobias, sorry.

I don't know what you really trying to say here, but it doesn't change the fact that if you were born a male I am not going to date you....and I don't see how this is a Phobia, I am just not naturally attracted to individuals who are dudes. I am not going to regret that or see my viewpoint in a negative light if that is what you were trying to accomplish.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Could You Date A Transexual?

Yes.

In either direction (MtF or FtM), pre or post op.

If a person is moderately attractive and capable of bringing me to orgasm, then I could date them. Or at least have sex with them.

 

[Jamous]

Yes, either way.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Please don't besmirch medicine to try and defend your feelings on the matter. Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual is not male. I'm not saying you have to want to date or even like transsexuals, but don't hide behind "medicine" to cover YOUR issues with it. That's akin to saying "scientifically speaking, the negro is an inferior species" to explain why you'd never date a black person.
You can't just slap "science!" on your phobias, sorry.

I don't know what you really trying to say here, but it doesn't change the fact that if you were born a male I am not going to date you....and I don't see how this is a Phobia, I am just not naturally attracted to individuals who are dudes. I am not going to regret that or see my viewpoint in a negative light if that is what you were trying to accomplish.

Yeah, gotta get behind Zachary on this one.

Your comment about science is incorrect because it depends on how male is defined.

If you mean they have XY chromosomes in their cells, then yes, you are correct.

However, typically male means "has a penis" and a MtF Transsexual has no penis, and is thus no longer medically male.

And, if you reject someone who is physically female, but genetically male entirely on the basis of their genetic makeup, which you can in no way see or experience aside from their current physical form, then yes, that would be homophobia. Hence why Zachary mentioned "your phobias" in his post.

 

[Epic Bear Man]

even if i could be initially fooled into being in a relationship

....I'm not even completely sure what to say here.

medically speaking, YOU ARE A MALE

Please don't besmirch medicine to try and defend your feelings on the matter. Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual is not male. I'm not saying you have to want to date or even like transsexuals, but don't hide behind "medicine" to cover YOUR issues with it. That's akin to saying "scientifically speaking, the negro is an inferior species" to explain why you'd never date a black person.

You can't just slap "science!" on your phobias, sorry.

Saw this from Smolderin's response, so I need to say something.

First off, this is attraction we're talking about, and sex. It's not acceptance of others for equal rights and equal (employment) opportunity; that's a separate issue. We're just looking at "would you ever date a transsexual?"
Secondly, the definition is not important. Smolderin may or may not be right about his viewpoint being "medically speaking", but nonetheless is opinion is built around "you were born a male, you're now a female. That's not something I'm sexually attracted to."

Secondly, how could you even try to use that bigoted, racist remark of "the negro is an inferior species" as a way to try to back up your claim? Yes yes, I know you're not saying it in a literal sense; it's just to prove a point. But the issue I'm having with it is it's both offensive, and a terrible comparison to even try to begin to justify your point.

Next time you make a point, leave out the comparisons. You can't just slap "satire!" on your comparisons, sorry.

 

[Smolderin]

Please don't besmirch medicine to try and defend your feelings on the matter. Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual is not male. I'm not saying you have to want to date or even like transsexuals, but don't hide behind "medicine" to cover YOUR issues with it. That's akin to saying "scientifically speaking, the negro is an inferior species" to explain why you'd never date a black person.
You can't just slap "science!" on your phobias, sorry.

I don't know what you really trying to say here, but it doesn't change the fact that if you were born a male I am not going to date you....and I don't see how this is a Phobia, I am just not naturally attracted to individuals who are dudes. I am not going to regret that or see my viewpoint in a negative light if that is what you were trying to accomplish.

Yeah, gotta get behind Zachary on this one.

Your comment about science is incorrect because it depends on how male is defined.

If you mean they have XY chromosomes in their cells, then yes, you are correct.

However, typically male means "has a penis" and a MtF Transsexual has no penis, and is thus no longer medically male.

And, if you reject someone who is physically female, but genetically male entirely on the basis of their genetic makeup, which you can in no way see or experience aside from their current physical form, then yes, that would be homophobia. Hence why Zachary mentioned "your phobias" in his post.

That's fine. I'll concede on the point I shouldn't have brought science into it, but it doesn't change anything. If you want to get technical and say that I am homophobic, alright....So what if I am? Does that make me a bad person? An ignorant person? Uneducated? Am I wrong to say that I will never have a romantic relationship with a Transexual? I don't think I am. It's just who I am as a person. It's how I grew up. I'll say it here so people don't get confused, I have nothing against Transexuals of any kind, hell, if your one I will befriend you if are interests are common enough. But I am not going to date you, cause it goes against my standards (it has nothing to do with high or low standards...so don't confuse me saying that dating a Transexual means I am lowering my standards, that is not what I am saying here).

 

[Smolderin]

Please don't besmirch medicine to try and defend your feelings on the matter. Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual is not male. I'm not saying you have to want to date or even like transsexuals, but don't hide behind "medicine" to cover YOUR issues with it. That's akin to saying "scientifically speaking, the negro is an inferior species" to explain why you'd never date a black person.
You can't just slap "science!" on your phobias, sorry.

I don't know what you really trying to say here, but it doesn't change the fact that if you were born a male I am not going to date you....and I don't see how this is a Phobia, I am just not naturally attracted to individuals who are dudes. I am not going to regret that or see my viewpoint in a negative light if that is what you were trying to accomplish.

Yeah, gotta get behind Zachary on this one.

Your comment about science is incorrect because it depends on how male is defined.

If you mean they have XY chromosomes in their cells, then yes, you are correct.

However, typically male means "has a penis" and a MtF Transsexual has no penis, and is thus no longer medically male.

And, if you reject someone who is physically female, but genetically male entirely on the basis of their genetic makeup, which you can in no way see or experience aside from their current physical form, then yes, that would be homophobia. Hence why Zachary mentioned "your phobias" in his post.

That's fine. I'll concede on the point I shouldn't have brought science into it, but it doesn't change anything. If you want to get technical and say that I am homophobic, alright....So what if I am? Does that make me a bad person? An ignorant person? Uneducated? Am I wrong to say that I will never have a romantic relationship with a Transexual? I don't think I am. It's just who I am as a person. It's how I grew up. I'll say it here so people don't get confused, I have nothing against Transexuals of any kind, hell, if your one I will befriend you if are interests are common enough. But I am not going to date you, cause it goes against my standards (it has nothing to do with high or low standards...so don't confuse me saying that dating a Transexual means I am lowering my standards, that is not what I am saying here).

Well if you start making up medical 'facts' to justify your feelings I'm gonna say that's ignorant.

Agreed, it was a mistake. But am I overall ignorant as a result?

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

That's fine. I'll concede on the point I shouldn't have brought science into it, but it doesn't change anything. If you want to get technical and say that I am homophobic, alright....So what if I am? Does that make me a bad person? An ignorant person? Uneducated? Am I wrong to say that I will never have a romantic relationship with a Transexual? I don't think I am. It's just who I am as a person. It's how I grew up. I'll say it here so people don't get confused, I have nothing against Transexuals of any kind, hell, if your one I will befriend you if are interests are common enough. But I am not going to date you, cause it goes against my standards (it has nothing to do with high or low standards...so don't confuse me saying that dating a Transexual means I am lowering my standards, that is not what I am saying here).

Okay. **nods**

I know several transsexuals, so I found your comment that they weren't "medically" their gender to be offensive. Your personal preferences are fine, so long as you aren't saying anyone elses are wrong (which the medical comment seemed to imply).

On a similar note, I know a woman who would not date a transsexual because she is sickened by the thought of genital mutilation. She has no problem with transsexuals as friends, but she couldn't have sex with one because she wouldn't be able to think about anything but the surgery done to them (which is really quite terrifying - I couldn't imagine having anyone do that to my vagina).

Gender reassignment surgery is scary as fuck - I respect the hell out of anyone who does that to themselves. It speaks to how wrong they must feel in their bodies to literally have their sex organs sliced apart and reassembled.

I also cannot fault my female friend who is too freaked out by mental images of said surgery to enjoy a sexual encounter with a post-op transsexual (she has no problem having sex with pre-op transsexuals).

We all have our preferences. You don't have to like what I like - but I ask that you respect the rights of others to like it.

 

[Smolderin]

Please don't besmirch medicine to try and defend your feelings on the matter. Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual is not male. I'm not saying you have to want to date or even like transsexuals, but don't hide behind "medicine" to cover YOUR issues with it. That's akin to saying "scientifically speaking, the negro is an inferior species" to explain why you'd never date a black person.
You can't just slap "science!" on your phobias, sorry.

I don't know what you really trying to say here, but it doesn't change the fact that if you were born a male I am not going to date you....and I don't see how this is a Phobia, I am just not naturally attracted to individuals who are dudes. I am not going to regret that or see my viewpoint in a negative light if that is what you were trying to accomplish.

Yeah, gotta get behind Zachary on this one.

Your comment about science is incorrect because it depends on how male is defined.

If you mean they have XY chromosomes in their cells, then yes, you are correct.

However, typically male means "has a penis" and a MtF Transsexual has no penis, and is thus no longer medically male.

And, if you reject someone who is physically female, but genetically male entirely on the basis of their genetic makeup, which you can in no way see or experience aside from their current physical form, then yes, that would be homophobia. Hence why Zachary mentioned "your phobias" in his post.

That's fine. I'll concede on the point I shouldn't have brought science into it, but it doesn't change anything. If you want to get technical and say that I am homophobic, alright....So what if I am? Does that make me a bad person? An ignorant person? Uneducated? Am I wrong to say that I will never have a romantic relationship with a Transexual? I don't think I am. It's just who I am as a person. It's how I grew up. I'll say it here so people don't get confused, I have nothing against Transexuals of any kind, hell, if your one I will befriend you if are interests are common enough. But I am not going to date you, cause it goes against my standards (it has nothing to do with high or low standards...so don't confuse me saying that dating a Transexual means I am lowering my standards, that is not what I am saying here).

Well if you start making up medical 'facts' to justify your feelings I'm gonna say that's ignorant.

Agreed, it was a mistake. But am I overall ignorant as a result?

Well it suggests some level of ignorance, but hardly conclusive of how much.

So it SUGGESTS some level of ignorance huh? Alright, that is all I need to know. Though I will say that i believe EVERYONE has some level of ignorance on them, whether they know it or not. No one's perfect.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Well if you start making up medical 'facts' to justify your feelings I'm gonna say that's ignorant.

Well, to be fair, he wasn't making up medical facts, he was merely using a very narrow definition of gender - genetic makeup.

He is right about the XY cells. The issue is that cellular makeup is the least relevant aspect of gender to the discussion of sexual preference. You can't see, feel, touch, taste, or smell XY chromosomes, so they cannot factor into sexual preference directly. Thus that is a bad definition of sex for this discussion.

The fact that he would be unwilling to date a beautiful, physically perfect MtF trans person speaks more to his personal fear of being gay than it does of him disliking others who are gay - which is why I was willing to let the matter drop.