Could You Date A Transexual?

[chinangel]

I guess for me, it'd depend on the craftmanship of the surgeon who turned him into a her.

If I could snag a tranny that was as finely sculpted as Poison, then I probably wouldn't care. I'll go for it.

But, I don't think we've come that far yet.
Most trannies are so obviously trannies that it would just put me off.

please don't use that word..it's horrible slang and hurtful. thanks

from one t-girl to another, there are worse words for us. Shemale for example. Ladyboy. I pick my battles. Tranny isn't that bad in comparison, so I let others use that to describe me if they must.

 

[Lieju]

Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual is not male.

Chromosomes, sorry.

how fortunate that one does not need a fetish to follow through.

Not really true. Pheromones make it such that you can generally tell at a base level what chromosomes someone has, and this will color their sexual attractiveness to you on a subconscious level accordingly. You may not agree with the use of the term "fetish" to describe someone who does not detect or interpret pheromones the way most people do, but it's sounds appropriate to me. Unless there are transgender surgeries that I'm not aware of that include pheromone-producing organs, it is absolutely the case that to find a transgendered person attractive for a heterosexual is an abnormality, or at least an oddity, or an unlikely occurrence.

Now, you might be able to will yourself to ignore your subconsciousness I guess, and assuming that the transgendered person is otherwise convincing in most or all other ways, you might end up subconsciously ignoring the pheromone cues anyways. But once you find out that they are in fact transgendered you'll probably find that your sex drive diminishes and that they feel more like a close friend or family member than a partner if there was anything between you before.

On what are you basing any of this? Scientists haven't even found a human sex pheromone, on what basis are you making all these claims about how these pheromones work?

Human sexuality isn't just simple gay/straight-thing.

 

[willsham45]

Could I date a transexual? yeah sure the same way I could date anyone regardless of many things, but will it turn into anything, Well that is something elce, and that always runs on a case my case basic, but I think I am safe to say previous gender will not be the yay or nay factor although I will not call it a possitive thing the main factors are resurved for personality, how we mesh and maybe looks to a certain degre.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

I guess for me, it'd depend on the craftmanship of the surgeon who turned him into a her.

If I could snag a tranny that was as finely sculpted as Poison, then I probably wouldn't care. I'll go for it.

But, I don't think we've come that far yet.
Most trannies are so obviously trannies that it would just put me off.

please don't use that word..it's horrible slang and hurtful. thanks

from one t-girl to another, there are worse words for us. Shemale for example. Ladyboy. I pick my battles. Tranny isn't that bad in comparison, so I let others use that to describe me if they must.

To me it's all the same "Shemale", "Ladyboy", "Tranny"- they are ALL disgusting.

 

[Smolderin]

even if i could be initially fooled into being in a relationship

....I'm not even completely sure what to say here.

medically speaking, YOU ARE A MALE

Please don't besmirch medicine to try and defend your feelings on the matter. Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual is not male. I'm not saying you have to want to date or even like transsexuals, but don't hide behind "medicine" to cover YOUR issues with it. That's akin to saying "scientifically speaking, the negro is an inferior species" to explain why you'd never date a black person.

You can't just slap "science!" on your phobias, sorry.

I don't know what you really trying to say here, but it doesn't change the fact that if you were born a male I am not going to date you....and I don't see how this is a Phobia, I am just not naturally attracted to individuals who are dudes. I am not going to regret that or see my viewpoint in a negative light if that is what you were trying to accomplish.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Could You Date A Transexual?

Yes.

In either direction (MtF or FtM), pre or post op.

If a person is moderately attractive and capable of bringing me to orgasm, then I could date them. Or at least have sex with them.

 

[Jamous]

Yes, either way.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Please don't besmirch medicine to try and defend your feelings on the matter. Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual is not male. I'm not saying you have to want to date or even like transsexuals, but don't hide behind "medicine" to cover YOUR issues with it. That's akin to saying "scientifically speaking, the negro is an inferior species" to explain why you'd never date a black person.
You can't just slap "science!" on your phobias, sorry.

I don't know what you really trying to say here, but it doesn't change the fact that if you were born a male I am not going to date you....and I don't see how this is a Phobia, I am just not naturally attracted to individuals who are dudes. I am not going to regret that or see my viewpoint in a negative light if that is what you were trying to accomplish.

Yeah, gotta get behind Zachary on this one.

Your comment about science is incorrect because it depends on how male is defined.

If you mean they have XY chromosomes in their cells, then yes, you are correct.

However, typically male means "has a penis" and a MtF Transsexual has no penis, and is thus no longer medically male.

And, if you reject someone who is physically female, but genetically male entirely on the basis of their genetic makeup, which you can in no way see or experience aside from their current physical form, then yes, that would be homophobia. Hence why Zachary mentioned "your phobias" in his post.

 

[Epic Bear Man]

even if i could be initially fooled into being in a relationship

....I'm not even completely sure what to say here.

medically speaking, YOU ARE A MALE

Please don't besmirch medicine to try and defend your feelings on the matter. Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual is not male. I'm not saying you have to want to date or even like transsexuals, but don't hide behind "medicine" to cover YOUR issues with it. That's akin to saying "scientifically speaking, the negro is an inferior species" to explain why you'd never date a black person.

You can't just slap "science!" on your phobias, sorry.

Saw this from Smolderin's response, so I need to say something.

First off, this is attraction we're talking about, and sex. It's not acceptance of others for equal rights and equal (employment) opportunity; that's a separate issue. We're just looking at "would you ever date a transsexual?"
Secondly, the definition is not important. Smolderin may or may not be right about his viewpoint being "medically speaking", but nonetheless is opinion is built around "you were born a male, you're now a female. That's not something I'm sexually attracted to."

Secondly, how could you even try to use that bigoted, racist remark of "the negro is an inferior species" as a way to try to back up your claim? Yes yes, I know you're not saying it in a literal sense; it's just to prove a point. But the issue I'm having with it is it's both offensive, and a terrible comparison to even try to begin to justify your point.

Next time you make a point, leave out the comparisons. You can't just slap "satire!" on your comparisons, sorry.

 

[Smolderin]

Please don't besmirch medicine to try and defend your feelings on the matter. Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual is not male. I'm not saying you have to want to date or even like transsexuals, but don't hide behind "medicine" to cover YOUR issues with it. That's akin to saying "scientifically speaking, the negro is an inferior species" to explain why you'd never date a black person.
You can't just slap "science!" on your phobias, sorry.

I don't know what you really trying to say here, but it doesn't change the fact that if you were born a male I am not going to date you....and I don't see how this is a Phobia, I am just not naturally attracted to individuals who are dudes. I am not going to regret that or see my viewpoint in a negative light if that is what you were trying to accomplish.

Yeah, gotta get behind Zachary on this one.

Your comment about science is incorrect because it depends on how male is defined.

If you mean they have XY chromosomes in their cells, then yes, you are correct.

However, typically male means "has a penis" and a MtF Transsexual has no penis, and is thus no longer medically male.

And, if you reject someone who is physically female, but genetically male entirely on the basis of their genetic makeup, which you can in no way see or experience aside from their current physical form, then yes, that would be homophobia. Hence why Zachary mentioned "your phobias" in his post.

That's fine. I'll concede on the point I shouldn't have brought science into it, but it doesn't change anything. If you want to get technical and say that I am homophobic, alright....So what if I am? Does that make me a bad person? An ignorant person? Uneducated? Am I wrong to say that I will never have a romantic relationship with a Transexual? I don't think I am. It's just who I am as a person. It's how I grew up. I'll say it here so people don't get confused, I have nothing against Transexuals of any kind, hell, if your one I will befriend you if are interests are common enough. But I am not going to date you, cause it goes against my standards (it has nothing to do with high or low standards...so don't confuse me saying that dating a Transexual means I am lowering my standards, that is not what I am saying here).

 

[Smolderin]

Please don't besmirch medicine to try and defend your feelings on the matter. Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual is not male. I'm not saying you have to want to date or even like transsexuals, but don't hide behind "medicine" to cover YOUR issues with it. That's akin to saying "scientifically speaking, the negro is an inferior species" to explain why you'd never date a black person.
You can't just slap "science!" on your phobias, sorry.

I don't know what you really trying to say here, but it doesn't change the fact that if you were born a male I am not going to date you....and I don't see how this is a Phobia, I am just not naturally attracted to individuals who are dudes. I am not going to regret that or see my viewpoint in a negative light if that is what you were trying to accomplish.

Yeah, gotta get behind Zachary on this one.

Your comment about science is incorrect because it depends on how male is defined.

If you mean they have XY chromosomes in their cells, then yes, you are correct.

However, typically male means "has a penis" and a MtF Transsexual has no penis, and is thus no longer medically male.

And, if you reject someone who is physically female, but genetically male entirely on the basis of their genetic makeup, which you can in no way see or experience aside from their current physical form, then yes, that would be homophobia. Hence why Zachary mentioned "your phobias" in his post.

That's fine. I'll concede on the point I shouldn't have brought science into it, but it doesn't change anything. If you want to get technical and say that I am homophobic, alright....So what if I am? Does that make me a bad person? An ignorant person? Uneducated? Am I wrong to say that I will never have a romantic relationship with a Transexual? I don't think I am. It's just who I am as a person. It's how I grew up. I'll say it here so people don't get confused, I have nothing against Transexuals of any kind, hell, if your one I will befriend you if are interests are common enough. But I am not going to date you, cause it goes against my standards (it has nothing to do with high or low standards...so don't confuse me saying that dating a Transexual means I am lowering my standards, that is not what I am saying here).

Well if you start making up medical 'facts' to justify your feelings I'm gonna say that's ignorant.

Agreed, it was a mistake. But am I overall ignorant as a result?

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

That's fine. I'll concede on the point I shouldn't have brought science into it, but it doesn't change anything. If you want to get technical and say that I am homophobic, alright....So what if I am? Does that make me a bad person? An ignorant person? Uneducated? Am I wrong to say that I will never have a romantic relationship with a Transexual? I don't think I am. It's just who I am as a person. It's how I grew up. I'll say it here so people don't get confused, I have nothing against Transexuals of any kind, hell, if your one I will befriend you if are interests are common enough. But I am not going to date you, cause it goes against my standards (it has nothing to do with high or low standards...so don't confuse me saying that dating a Transexual means I am lowering my standards, that is not what I am saying here).

Okay. **nods**

I know several transsexuals, so I found your comment that they weren't "medically" their gender to be offensive. Your personal preferences are fine, so long as you aren't saying anyone elses are wrong (which the medical comment seemed to imply).

On a similar note, I know a woman who would not date a transsexual because she is sickened by the thought of genital mutilation. She has no problem with transsexuals as friends, but she couldn't have sex with one because she wouldn't be able to think about anything but the surgery done to them (which is really quite terrifying - I couldn't imagine having anyone do that to my vagina).

Gender reassignment surgery is scary as fuck - I respect the hell out of anyone who does that to themselves. It speaks to how wrong they must feel in their bodies to literally have their sex organs sliced apart and reassembled.

I also cannot fault my female friend who is too freaked out by mental images of said surgery to enjoy a sexual encounter with a post-op transsexual (she has no problem having sex with pre-op transsexuals).

We all have our preferences. You don't have to like what I like - but I ask that you respect the rights of others to like it.

 

[Smolderin]

Please don't besmirch medicine to try and defend your feelings on the matter. Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual is not male. I'm not saying you have to want to date or even like transsexuals, but don't hide behind "medicine" to cover YOUR issues with it. That's akin to saying "scientifically speaking, the negro is an inferior species" to explain why you'd never date a black person.
You can't just slap "science!" on your phobias, sorry.

I don't know what you really trying to say here, but it doesn't change the fact that if you were born a male I am not going to date you....and I don't see how this is a Phobia, I am just not naturally attracted to individuals who are dudes. I am not going to regret that or see my viewpoint in a negative light if that is what you were trying to accomplish.

Yeah, gotta get behind Zachary on this one.

Your comment about science is incorrect because it depends on how male is defined.

If you mean they have XY chromosomes in their cells, then yes, you are correct.

However, typically male means "has a penis" and a MtF Transsexual has no penis, and is thus no longer medically male.

And, if you reject someone who is physically female, but genetically male entirely on the basis of their genetic makeup, which you can in no way see or experience aside from their current physical form, then yes, that would be homophobia. Hence why Zachary mentioned "your phobias" in his post.

That's fine. I'll concede on the point I shouldn't have brought science into it, but it doesn't change anything. If you want to get technical and say that I am homophobic, alright....So what if I am? Does that make me a bad person? An ignorant person? Uneducated? Am I wrong to say that I will never have a romantic relationship with a Transexual? I don't think I am. It's just who I am as a person. It's how I grew up. I'll say it here so people don't get confused, I have nothing against Transexuals of any kind, hell, if your one I will befriend you if are interests are common enough. But I am not going to date you, cause it goes against my standards (it has nothing to do with high or low standards...so don't confuse me saying that dating a Transexual means I am lowering my standards, that is not what I am saying here).

Well if you start making up medical 'facts' to justify your feelings I'm gonna say that's ignorant.

Agreed, it was a mistake. But am I overall ignorant as a result?

Well it suggests some level of ignorance, but hardly conclusive of how much.

So it SUGGESTS some level of ignorance huh? Alright, that is all I need to know. Though I will say that i believe EVERYONE has some level of ignorance on them, whether they know it or not. No one's perfect.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Well if you start making up medical 'facts' to justify your feelings I'm gonna say that's ignorant.

Well, to be fair, he wasn't making up medical facts, he was merely using a very narrow definition of gender - genetic makeup.

He is right about the XY cells. The issue is that cellular makeup is the least relevant aspect of gender to the discussion of sexual preference. You can't see, feel, touch, taste, or smell XY chromosomes, so they cannot factor into sexual preference directly. Thus that is a bad definition of sex for this discussion.

The fact that he would be unwilling to date a beautiful, physically perfect MtF trans person speaks more to his personal fear of being gay than it does of him disliking others who are gay - which is why I was willing to let the matter drop.

 

[Smolderin]

That's fine. I'll concede on the point I shouldn't have brought science into it, but it doesn't change anything. If you want to get technical and say that I am homophobic, alright....So what if I am? Does that make me a bad person? An ignorant person? Uneducated? Am I wrong to say that I will never have a romantic relationship with a Transexual? I don't think I am. It's just who I am as a person. It's how I grew up. I'll say it here so people don't get confused, I have nothing against Transexuals of any kind, hell, if your one I will befriend you if are interests are common enough. But I am not going to date you, cause it goes against my standards (it has nothing to do with high or low standards...so don't confuse me saying that dating a Transexual means I am lowering my standards, that is not what I am saying here).

Okay. **nods**

I know several transsexuals, so I found your comment that they weren't "medically" their gender to be offensive. Your personal preferences are fine, so long as you aren't saying anyone elses are wrong (which the medical comment seemed to imply).

On a similar note, I know a woman who would not date a transsexual because she is sickened by the thought of genital mutilation. She has no problem with transsexuals as friends, but she couldn't have sex with one because she wouldn't be able to think about anything but the surgery done to them (which is really quite terrifying - I couldn't imagine having anyone do that to my vagina).

Gender reassignment surgery is scary as fuck - I respect the hell out of anyone who does that to themselves. It speaks to how wrong they must feel in their bodies to literally have their sex organs sliced apart and reassembled.

I also cannot fault my female friend who is too freaked out by mental images of said surgery to enjoy a sexual encounter with a post-op transsexual (she has no problem having sex with pre-op transsexuals).

We all have our preferences. You don't have to like what I like - but I ask that you respect the rights of others to like it.

But of course, I respect everyone's right to live life the way they want to. Maybe in some cases I might disagree with it but I am not going to come out and tell you that you are wrong for living life a certain way. There is no wrong choice in this matter as far as I'm concerned, you either can or you can't. I can't cause of personal preference (should have said that a long time ago...would have probably spared me the backlash) and there really isn't any simpler reason.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

That's actually one thing I don't take issue with in regards to what he said. If he doesn't want to have sex with someone for their past, that's his prerogative. I don't see him being scared of being gay, you're making assumptions on that.

**pause**

You're right, I am.

It makes sense from the context, but that is entirely an assumption.

There are other reasonable possibilities. He could be like the woman I know and the thought of the surgery freaks him out (which is one reason I mentioned her in my reply to him).

Or he could really want children from his own DNA, which would be difficult with a transsexual partner.

Or something entirely different.

I jumped to a logical conclusion, but as you say, it was still a leap away from the facts.

Edit: Edited previous post to remove my assumption. However, since it brought up an interesting point, I'm copy/pasting the rest of my thoughts here.

It occurs to me - there should really be a proper term for "gay hating" that doesn't mean "gay fearing" since they aren't necessarily the same thing. Hating women has it's own term (misogyny) so why not hating gay people? We don't call misogynists "gynophobic".

If misogyny is woman hating (miso for hating, gyny for woman) then would it be misohomo? misogay?

Yeah... latin is failing me.