Duke Nukem Forever Review

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Levitas1234

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Oct 28, 2009
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Abandon4093 said:
I still think they missed a trick with the ego health system.

He could have had to do something cool to get his ego back. Like shooting a dude in the dick or something.

The more zaney stuff you do, the bigger your ego bar gets. And when it's low. You have to do something like benchpress an enemy carcase to boost it back up.

The rest of it looks pretty much how I imagined though.
Shooting people in the dick isn't cool

duke should get health from those slappable tit things, they could be like health packs.
 

mikev7.0

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Jan 25, 2011
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Koios said:
mikev7.0 said:
Yet I've heard the idea that Gearbox only bought this so that they would own the franchise (thereby being able to make their own Duke game) and so that all of 3D realms work would not have been for nothing as there was a huge fan outcry for the release of this game. So maybe something better is on the horizon?
I hope they keep making Duke games. I've always wanted to see a Zero Hour remake.



From what I've seen and heard, this game is for the 12 year old in all of us, especially the one that grew up with Duke Nukem 64 / 3D. If you can't find that inner 12 year old, you probably won't enjoy this game.

And that is the most honest review I can think of.
Well reviews be damned it looks like my friend is buying it tomorrow anywho so I guess I'll be able to see for myself. To be completely honest everyone's opinions on the game have been so adamant to one side or the other it's just as exciting to find out the truth for myself as it is to play a new game. Only bummer is that it will cut into our co-op GL playing and that makes me sad gamer.
 

AgentBJ09

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Well, that makes it two bad reviews I've seen today for this game. Here and Destructoid.

Still, I'm supporting Gearbox on this, regardless of the review scores. They took a chance on the IP, and the game, so I'll respect them for that and buy it.

From what I have seen of the game, I'll likely enjoy it for a full play-through, and the Balls of Steel bonuses are the extra perks for me. The multiplayer I can get some thrills from as well, once I get another CAT-5 for my 360.

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Eri said:
I'd recommend giving this a read. http://kotaku.com/5811449/in-defense-of-duke-nukem-forever
Thanks for pointing that out. I had a feeling at least one media outlet would make something like this.
 

RedEyesBlackGamer

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Jan 23, 2011
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Slycne said:
Notere said:
This just in: He also hated on Portal 2.
Cliff_m85 said:
Hmmmmm.....interesting. He hated on Portal 2? Well, I'm definitely buying Duke tomorrow then. If you hate Portal 2, you really don't understand the games you're playing.

Portal 2 Review [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/reviews/8806-Portal-2-Review]

Recommendation: Newcomers to "portal science" will find Portal 2 easy to pick up and perhaps more rewarding than long-time fans. Both, however, will find plenty to love and more than enough to justify the price of purchase.

4/5
Yes, clearly a whole lot of hating going on there.
Remember, in gamer logic, below 90 means that a game sucks. It's stupid.
OP: Overall, Gearbox just missed the point. The only way this shooter would succeed would be by throwing all modern shooter conventions out of the window. Running 50 mph, having an arsenal of weapons, and placing medkits over non linear levels. Instead, they put in regenerating health, a two weapon limit, and cover based combat.
 

Faux Furry

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Apr 19, 2011
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It seems as if there is nothing left to do with this game but to fling it at the wall to see how it sticks: by slicing into it or by splattering all over it in a brown,drippy blob.

That is, until a comprehensive patch is released that overhauls the entire game play experience, negating the accuracy of reviews like this one. Now that would be a hilarious joke played on the player.
 

Notere

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Slycne said:
Portal 2 Review [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/reviews/8806-Portal-2-Review]

Recommendation: Newcomers to "portal science" will find Portal 2 easy to pick up and perhaps more rewarding than long-time fans. Both, however, will find plenty to love and more than enough to justify the price of purchase.

4/5
Yes, clearly a whole lot of hating going on there.
The entire review is more elaborate than some two sentence blurb. Fine work on that. Consider a career in journalism.
 

WOPR

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Aug 18, 2010
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EcksTeaSea said:
Somehow I knew this was going to get a terrible review. After a game has been in development hell this long, I barely see a chance of it being good.

Still not going to deter me from picking it up tomorrow, though I am sad that this isn't the Duke that I grew up with.
Roughly my reaction to the game

DUKE NUKEM FOREVER IS OUT?!?!
SWEET!!!

**hears about the "ego" regen health, the tossable crap, and wallboobs**

Umm... nevermind, I think I'll save $50+tax and get Terraria ($10+no tax)
 

WOPR

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MiracleOfSound said:
Well, there's always Bulletstorm.

If you're disappointed with DNF, get it instead. Captures the 90s run and gun fun much better.
Or you could just Buy Painkiller which costs 10x less and is roughly 10x better as well
 

Dice Warwick

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Nov 29, 2010
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I'm disappointed with the review, mostly with the "F-you viewer I'll just waist your time and then tell you to read the review".

never expected much from the game, and that's why I'm getting it. This game shows more about how badly a game can be mismanaged then how bad a game is. I mean 12 years, that's not 12 years of planning and plotting, that's 12 years of developers not giving a damn, and dicking around, leaving us with this. Duke Nuke was abandoned long ago, but not in the way were Duke is left to wander off, and possibly into a better home, but locked in a shed because the people with the key don't want others to get him, and plan to hoar him off later for money. That's what is going on with this game, enjoy what you can, but don't be surprised about how bad it is.

There is probably a lot of wasted potential in this game. The ego bar sounded like an epic Idea, and I can easily think of how it can work well, but it turns out it is the rechargeable shields from "Halo". So far that's all I have real seen, as the review only tells me "DON'T BUY THIS GAME, IT'S SHITTY SHIT OF A SHITTY GAME, DON'T BUY IT!!!!" thanks for the non info, I did read the review, but it would have been nice if you had shown me how bad the game is intend of throwing a tantrum and doing a "top 5 of what I hate about this list"

So when I play the game, and return it, I'll let you guys know how bad it was, but no video from me, not my skill set.
 

MiracleOfSound

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Jan 3, 2009
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WOPR said:
MiracleOfSound said:
Well, there's always Bulletstorm.

If you're disappointed with DNF, get it instead. Captures the 90s run and gun fun much better.
Or you could just Buy Painkiller which costs 10x less and is roughly 10x better as well
...in your opinion.

I liked Bulletstorm just fine, thank you very much.
 

Nexus4

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WOPR said:
MiracleOfSound said:
Well, there's always Bulletstorm.

If you're disappointed with DNF, get it instead. Captures the 90s run and gun fun much better.
Or you could just Buy Painkiller which costs 10x less and is roughly 10x better as well
Or even better, just play the original Duke games. I mean why does everyone want a modern game for nostalgia's sake when you can just play the originals that gave you that nostalgia in the first place? Unfortunately, because everyone has their rose tinted goggles on their old games, any remake is going to be lambasted in some way simply by virtue of not being the original they remember.
 

Mr0llivand3r

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even if the game was a perfectly roasted suckling pig served on a buffet tray carved from the wood of the divine cross at a banquet hall in the lost continent of Atlantis, every video game reviewer would saw it's balls off.

it's safe to say that this game has had one of the most incredible amounts of hype of any game due to it's overly long hiatus and development time. when a game like this comes out, critics and reviewers immediately search for and set their focus on what is bad, ignoring everything that may be good about it.

therefore reviews like this can't be trusted because every critic would love nothing more than to rip it to shreds.
 

AsurasFinest

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Trilliandi said:
The fact that you're in fact comparing this game to titles like Call of Duty and Halo says plenty to me, in that you have no inkling to what makes a good game anymore or that in all honesty you never really did. That is of course unless you're praising their recycled and re-used mechanics, which quite frankly isn't much better than the previous.

Despite that little tidbit, the thing that steams me the most is your almost non-sensical berating of this game that nobody with a lick of sense was quite frankly expecting too much out of either way, is just over-the-top unnecessary and plain over-kill.

In my personal oppinion of your review, Duke Nukem Forever was a low-browed joke made to be just that, and that you are far too high on your pedastal to have heard and/or gotten it. I guess to be serious about games these days it means we have to forget that they're still GAMES, is that it?

I played the game, trust me comparing it to those games was the only way to go
Why you ask? Because it copies the same mechanics that they do
It doesn't take you back to nolstagia filled days of running and gunning, it takes you to the scripted event and linear corridors of COD
You even hide behind rocks and buildings while your health regenerates FFS

I don't agree with this guy alot, but on this review he was dead on
I don't blame Gearbox though, I blame 3D realms the timewasting gits for leaving them with this mess to put together
 

Azaraxzealot

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MiracleOfSound said:
Well, there's always Bulletstorm.

If you're disappointed with DNF, get it instead. Captures the 90s run and gun fun much better.
even with its modern shooter conventions of regenerating health and the hero being kind of a pussy... it was the first game in a long time i've been able to actually run-n-gun through once i got in the right groove.

even Perfect Dark Zero is a better example of old school shooting! And that game is 5 years old!

Nautical Honors Society said:
DalekJaas said:
Your video should be called '10 things I would like about Duke Nukem if I wasn't a hardcore nerd'.

This game isn't designed for the pretentious hardcore gamers you find on places like the escapist.

I let a few friends (who don't play games) have a go on my computer because it seemed like a game early 20s males would find really funny and we just spent the whole time having a laugh.

The game is not great, but it is better than all the serious clone FPS games that have come out recently. I put it on par with Turok, the graphics are ok, the mechanics are ok, the story is interesting enough to keep you playing and it has some really over the top humour (Duke is such a douche bag).

Not a great game but enjoyable nonetheless.

EDIT: It took you an hour to beat the Queen Alien? Why were you the one reviewing this game...
I am not a hardcore nerd and none of those 10 things appeal to me.

Honestly even when used for humoristic purposes those 10 things don't really seem like they'd improve any game.

He wasn't being pretentious, he was speaking the truth, it's just a lot of fans can't get over the fact that this game is bad and decide to justify their purchase by saying "hey it may be terrible, but it is mindless fun blah blah blah".

I can't believe people are defending this game as much as the Withcher II. It is quite funny.

Also, this game looks just like any other FPS clone. It is like Halo, except they made Master Chief a huge douchebag.
the problem is that it FAILS to be anti-pretentious and anti-modern because it takes on those elements too much
 

DanDeFool

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Aug 19, 2009
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You know, I think a lot of us were looking forward to Yahtzee's review of Duke Nukem Forever (I sure was), but now I think he might not even do it.

If DNF is as bad as this review makes it out to be, Yahtzee might just (appropriately) say, "If this is all Duke Nukem is, then a two-year old joke review is all it deserves".
 

Formica Archonis

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Nov 13, 2009
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Russ Pitts said:
otherwise imminently forgettable and not worth your time.
I can't tell if that's a typo for "eminently forgettable" or a clever way of saying you forgot the game five seconds after hitting "post" on the review.
 

hem dazon 90

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Aug 12, 2008
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V8 Ninja said:
And so Duke Nukem Forever is terrible...would this be a tragedy or absolutely hilarious?
It's a hilarious tragedy, Like a a clown beating your mom to death with a dildo
 

Yureina

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May 6, 2010
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Koios said:
Yureina said:
In any event, I wasn't going to buy this game no matter what scores it got. Bad scores though... certainly make me feel more "right" in that choice. :eek:
Review scores aren't everything, as they too come down to personal taste. The reviewer clearly hated this game, I find it enjoyable. If I can enjoy it, are the numbers wrong? No, because they reflect someone else's taste. Therefore, you can't judge the 'correctness' of the decision on other peoples' reviews. The only way to know for sure if you'd like a game is to watch somebody else playing through it and ask yourself these questions: Do I think I would have fun playing that game? Is there something that destroys the playability of this game
You didn't read what I said did you? :eek:

I said that I wouldn't get DNF no matter what reviewers scored it as. The implication here is that my personal taste overrides any potential worth that DNF has. My only interest in this game is mere curiosity about how a game that took so damn long to make ultimately turned out.

In other words... your response to me was pretty much saying what I already think, and expressed, to some extent, in my post. :3