Europeans and small talk

[OneCatch]

One of the biggest culture shocks to many Europeans coming to the US is how everyone talks to each other when they are complete strangers in the US. It doesn't matter if you know someone here or not, most people just casually talk to those standing near them here when out in public. So why is it most Europeans do not do the same? You would think with how much closer the communities are in Europe, the people would be just as close and friendly when near each other, but they are not. They often do not even apologize for bumping each other, where if you did that here that might start a fight for being so rude.

In the US, it is rude not to talk to people and acknowledge them around you and ignore them and keep to yourself. It is frequently taken as thinking you are "too good" or "stuck up" or " snobbish" if you fail to acknowledge those around you and treat them as family, where in much of Europe, if you treat strangers as family they look at you like you are an alien. Why is it so weird to talk to each other in much of Europe?

British here. I guess it's just a different perspective. When I was in Florida I found it decidedly weird, and slightly claustrophobic, how friendly everyone was. I think that's probably because I'd regard friendliness as something you do with someone once you know them well enough, to differentiate between friends and people you don't know.
That's not to say that I'd condone rude behaviour with strangers, just... neutrality I guess.

The other aspect is 'service with a smile' culture. This'll probably sound a bit perverse, but I actually find it almost reassuring to get rubbish service now and again. Bit of petty adversariality never harmed anyone! If someone's doing cleaning or checkout work or whatever I almost feel that expecting them to put on a veneer of cheerfulness isn't necessary. I know that call centre work or cleaning isn't loads of fun, and I don't need anyone to pretend it is when they're in my vicinity. Basic politeness is fine.

Spoiler: Relevant

 

[Tiger King]

One of the biggest culture shocks to many Europeans coming to the US is how everyone talks to each other when they are complete strangers in the US. It doesn't matter if you know someone here or not, most people just casually talk to those standing near them here when out in public. So why is it most Europeans do not do the same? You would think with how much closer the communities are in Europe, the people would be just as close and friendly when near each other, but they are not. They often do not even apologize for bumping each other, where if you did that here that might start a fight for being so rude.

In the US, it is rude not to talk to people and acknowledge them around you and ignore them and keep to yourself. It is frequently taken as thinking you are "too good" or "stuck up" or " snobbish" if you fail to acknowledge those around you and treat them as family, where in much of Europe, if you treat strangers as family they look at you like you are an alien. Why is it so weird to talk to each other in much of Europe?

a bit of generalisation going on here, Europe is very diverse with many different cultures. you can't really say 'Europe' and that covers everything.
anyhow...

citizen of the 'kingdom that is united' here, currently living in California.
Americans may seem very friendly and outgoing in the street but that is all it is. friendly small talk, it never leads to anything, phone numbers are never exchanged and 'hey lets be friends' never happens. I like how friendly people are here but I never kid myself, it's just small talk.

from my experience if I was back home and someone super happy came up to me and was all 'hey how's it going?' my first thought would be 'what are you after? I don't know you'

"They often do not even apologize for bumping each other"
completely untrue by the way.

Yes, of course I didn't say all Europeans, I said " many" as this applies to numerous nations and not just one. In the Netherlands is where I was in awe of people just bumping each other all over the place and not even noticing they did so. I had never seen people do that before. My friend from the Netherlands told me it was normal for much of Europe, not just the Netherlands. That same friend was freaked out by people here just talking to him as well when he came to visit in the US. The UK is far more apologetic than most European nations and are more likely to at least respond to someone asking the a question, unlike Finland where you ask multiple people on the street a question and they look at you like you are crazy, say nothing at all and leave.

Here, I actually do get many phone numbers from people I have met out and about and have met some of my friends that way as well as a few people I dated, including the man I am with now. If he had not approached me while I was out with my friends, we would have never met. I think where it goes from there entirely depends on the people and circumstances. I usually do not go anywhere without at least someone starting up a random conversation with me.

that's fair enough it just read as a bit of a blanket statement at first.

I've been to a few countries in Europe and always found that whilst culturally different, people are more than willing to help and talk but are just more reserved. I think perhaps people in Europe want to go about their business and not waste time making small talk with people they probably won't ever see again.

I fully agree with you on the random conversations bit, I was looking in the beer isle in (not so)safeway and this guy just started talking to me about which beer to get. it was nice but after awhile I kinda wanted to say
'hey been at work all day, wouldn't mind going home and relaxing instead of trying to figure out what beer you want'

which sounds rude I guess but perhaps it is ruder to feign interest in what a person is saying?

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

I don't care about you, your day or your problems. Just let me get my shopping done so I can get home, or leave me to listen to my music to pass the time while commuting.
Unless I'm specifically out for socializing, I'm not interested in vapid chitter-chatter.
Don't mistake my reservation for rudeness or arrogance, though; I'll be polite, apologise for any inconvenience or harm I've done by accident, and I don't mind offering a helping hand when people need it, but ultimately, I'm not here for your entertainment.
That's my Danish input about this topic.

As an aside, it's still funny when Americans go, "Why are (all) Europeans X?" like all of Europe is just one huge, homogeneous people.

Yes, that is not mistaking your "not caring about others" as being rude, it is actually rude. It is more important to apologize for intentional harm done, rather than accidental. See here, I think most people actually do care about others, and it is seen as rude not to. I don't have to pretend to care about others, I actually do. That is part of being a community. To me the community is the people we depend on to get though good and bad together to survive. We build and grow as a community and make it through by helping one another. If the community isn't doing well, we are not doing well. Your community is like your extended family and we all need our communities to be able to flourish and survive. The people around you every day are the ones who will save you if something were to happen. If there is a tornado, or great destruction, it would be those around you digging you out of the rubble to save you. If you have a car accident, they would be the one to pull you from the wreckage and get you help. When a father here was injured in car accident, the community pulled together and provided for his family so they would be able to have their heat though the winter and keep their lights on. When a neighbor's daughter had cancer they were going to lose their home so the community pitched in and saved it for them so they would not lose their home while they are trying to save their daughter. But if you don't talk to the people in your community and find out about their lives, you never even realize this is what is going on around you.

rude
ro͞od/Submit
adjective
1.
offensively impolite or ill-mannered.
"she had been rude to her boss"
synonyms: ill-mannered, bad-mannered, impolite, discourteous, uncivil, ill-behaved, unmannerly, mannerless; More
2.
roughly made or done; lacking subtlety or sophistication.

callous heartless unemotional unsympathetic aloof blase cold cool detached disinterested dispassionate impervious listless nonchalant passionless unaroused unconcerned uninvolved

http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/uncaring

Yea, I do think it should be considered rude to tell people you don't care about them. That is a pretty cold thing to do. Of course it would ALSO be cold to pretend like you care when you do not, but to actually care about those around you should not be considered rude.

 

[Michel Henzel]

One of the biggest culture shocks to many Europeans coming to the US is how everyone talks to each other when they are complete strangers in the US. It doesn't matter if you know someone here or not, most people just casually talk to those standing near them here when out in public. So why is it most Europeans do not do the same? You would think with how much closer the communities are in Europe, the people would be just as close and friendly when near each other, but they are not. They often do not even apologize for bumping each other, where if you did that here that might start a fight for being so rude.

In the US, it is rude not to talk to people and acknowledge them around you and ignore them and keep to yourself. It is frequently taken as thinking you are "too good" or "stuck up" or " snobbish" if you fail to acknowledge those around you and treat them as family, where in much of Europe, if you treat strangers as family they look at you like you are an alien. Why is it so weird to talk to each other in much of Europe?

a bit of generalisation going on here, Europe is very diverse with many different cultures. you can't really say 'Europe' and that covers everything.
anyhow...

citizen of the 'kingdom that is united' here, currently living in California.
Americans may seem very friendly and outgoing in the street but that is all it is. friendly small talk, it never leads to anything, phone numbers are never exchanged and 'hey lets be friends' never happens. I like how friendly people are here but I never kid myself, it's just small talk.

from my experience if I was back home and someone super happy came up to me and was all 'hey how's it going?' my first thought would be 'what are you after? I don't know you'

"They often do not even apologize for bumping each other"
completely untrue by the way.

Yes, of course I didn't say all Europeans, I said " many" as this applies to numerous nations and not just one. In the Netherlands is where I was in awe of people just bumping each other all over the place and not even noticing they did so. I had never seen people do that before. My friend from the Netherlands told me it was normal for much of Europe, not just the Netherlands. That same friend was freaked out by people here just talking to him as well when he came to visit in the US. The UK is far more apologetic than most European nations and are more likely to at least respond to someone asking the a question, unlike Finland where you ask multiple people on the street a question and they look at you like you are crazy, say nothing at all and leave.

Must be the place you were in cause, being Dutch myself, I can't say I recognize this at all. Maybe in crowded places like Amsterdam were bumping into people is pretty much unavoidable

 

[generals3]

See now the idea that someone is "worthy" to talk to is confirming that people think they are " too good" to talk to another, so yes that should be considered actually rude and terribly judgmental. Why would it ever be considered an inconvenience or a burden to speak to those around you? That idea is what is odd. Are Europeans just more introverted to think that it is an inconvenience to talk to someone? The idea that it is an inconvenience or a burden just to speak to someone is what is rude.

Well to be fair, it's a matter of the environment in which you are raised. Where i live if someone random talks to you it's either to ask for help, money, a crazy person or an old grandpa(ma) who is in need of socializing. The concept of a random person just wanting to talk to you is foreign to us. Unless we're drunk. And therefor it doesn't feel "right" to do it yourself (who wants to come across as a crazy person?) and thus we don't do it and the circle is complete.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

See now the idea that someone is "worthy" to talk to is confirming that people think they are " too good" to talk to another, so yes that should be considered actually rude and terribly judgmental. Why would it ever be considered an inconvenience or a burden to speak to those around you? That idea is what is odd. Are Europeans just more introverted to think that it is an inconvenience to talk to someone? The idea that it is an inconvenience or a burden just to speak to someone is what is rude.

Well to be fair, it's a matter of the environment in which you are raised. Where i live if someone random talks to you it's either to ask for help, money, a crazy person or an old grandpa(ma) who is in need of socializing. The concept of a random person just wanting to talk to you is foreign to us. Unless we're drunk. And therefor it doesn't feel "right" to do it yourself (who wants to come across as a crazy person?) and thus we don't do it and the circle is complete.

Well alcohol relaxes you of course, maybe you guys just need to relax a bit more and not be so uptight. XD
Yea, I do not usually assume that everyone is crazy that randomly talks to me, though I have thought that about some who don't talk and just stare, or that get fidgety and refuse to make eye contact but you know they are looking at you the second you look away.

 

[Addendum_Forthcoming]

Well alcohol relaxes you of course, maybe you guys just need to relax a bit more and not be so uptight. XD
Yea, I do not usually assume that everyone is crazy that randomly talks to me, though I have thought that about some who don't talk and just stare, or that get fidgety and refuse to make eye contact but you know they are looking at you the second you look away.

I agree ... whenever I need an excuse am stressed, I reach for a bottle of red. Though in this case I am a random crazy talking to you. I got certified ages ago. I think people should have random thingson their person. Something that can serve as an icebreaker. Make people more approachable.

I think the world would be a better place if everybody was more random in their outward appearance for the sake of strangers making conversation. Well ... I don't think it would be a better place. I just think it would be a stranger place, that might actively work against people making more realistic social connections.

"By law; your clothes should be 5 more percentage points on weird, and your hair at least 13 points more fantastic on the eclecto-meter ... get them out of my sight..." says the disguisted police constable with a pink mullet and an inflatable hammer in exchange of their baton.

 

[Guffe]

snip?

snap.

The UK is far more apologetic than most European nations and are more likely to at least respond to someone asking the a question, unlike Finland where you ask multiple people on the street a question and they look at you like you are crazy, say nothing at all and leave.
.

I have no idea what part of Finland you've been to, or what people you have met, but that's not the Finland I live in / have seen.
I agree that smalltalk is something we don't do, except in the sauna, because sitting naked with strangers is more uncomfortable than talking with them.

But not apologizing when bumping into another or helping someone who's asking a question?
Everytime I've bumped into someone, both me and the other one phrase at the same time "sori"(sorry) "anteeksi"(sorry) "mun moka"(my bad) etc. Never has the other one just looked at me or been unpolite claiming it was my fault or I should've looked were I was going.
And if someone asks another one in the streets for help, you're sure to get it. The only reason I can find that someone would be looking at you very strangely, is because you speak a language they don't. And most Finns these days speak enough English to make you understand that their English isn't good enough to help you out.

As I said, this is my view, I've lived here for 25 years and in several cities/towns during the last 5 years, and I have no idea what you're talking about :/

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

snip?

snap.

The UK is far more apologetic than most European nations and are more likely to at least respond to someone asking the a question, unlike Finland where you ask multiple people on the street a question and they look at you like you are crazy, say nothing at all and leave.
.

I have no idea what part of Finland you've been to, or what people you have met, but that's not the Finland I live in / have seen.
I agree that smalltalk is something we don't do, except in the sauna, because sitting naked with strangers is more uncomfortable than talking with them.

But not apologizing when bumping into another or helping someone who's asking a question?
Everytime I've bumped into someone, both me and the other one phrase at the same time "sori"(sorry) "anteeksi"(sorry) "mun moka"(my bad) etc. Never has the other one just looked at me or been unpolite claiming it was my fault or I should've looked were I was going.
And if someone asks another one in the streets for help, you're sure to get it. The only reason I can find that someone would be looking at you very strangely, is because you speak a language they don't. And most Finns these days speak enough English to make you understand that their English isn't good enough to help you out.

As I said, this is my view, I've lived here for 25 years and in several cities/towns during the last 5 years, and I have no idea what you're talking about :/

It isn't just me...
https://beeinfinland.wordpress.com/2012/10/06/is-that-rude-or-is-it-just-finnish/
I am not the only one who has noticed this. I don't want to call out specific cities or towns, as I think that would be rude to them and I don't want them to feel as though I am mocking them or making fun of them. It was just something I noticed that I thought was very odd compared to what I am accustomed to.

 

[Guffe]

snip?

snap.

The UK is far more apologetic than most European nations and are more likely to at least respond to someone asking the a question, unlike Finland where you ask multiple people on the street a question and they look at you like you are crazy, say nothing at all and leave.
.

my snip

It isn't just me...


I am not the only one who has noticed this. I don't want to call out specific cities or towns, as I think that would be rude to them and I don't want them to feel as though I am mocking them or making fun of them. It was just something I noticed that I thought was very odd compared to what I am accustomed to.

Okey, we apparently feel very different about my country and the people here, and you have every right to do so.
It's called cultural differences after all, which you touch on in your own last sentence that I bolded.

In the article you linked, this is the last thing written there:
And so, when I am offended yet again by some small social gentillesse not being done, I stop and think ?Is that rude or is it just Finnish??
Answer: it is just Finnish.

We're not rude.
It would be rude to call us rude
It's just the way we have been brought up to be, like our parents by their parents. Maybe this will change with time, maybe not, we just are like we are. We might be different, but rude or thinking we are better than others, definitely not (speaking for me and my family and friends, there are rude and obnoxious Finns as there are of every nations people).

I'd like to say agree to disagree on this one.
I'm used to the way we are, and don't find it weird or rude, while it might seem like that for someone used to another way of being around people.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

snip?

snap.

The UK is far more apologetic than most European nations and are more likely to at least respond to someone asking the a question, unlike Finland where you ask multiple people on the street a question and they look at you like you are crazy, say nothing at all and leave.
.

my snip

It isn't just me...


I am not the only one who has noticed this. I don't want to call out specific cities or towns, as I think that would be rude to them and I don't want them to feel as though I am mocking them or making fun of them. It was just something I noticed that I thought was very odd compared to what I am accustomed to.

Okey, we apparently feel very different about my country and the people here, and you have every right to do so.
It's called cultural differences after all, which you touch on in your own last sentence that I bolded.

In the article you linked, this is the last thing written there:
And so, when I am offended yet again by some small social gentillesse not being done, I stop and think ?Is that rude or is it just Finnish??
Answer: it is just Finnish.

We're not rude.
It would be rude to call us rude
It's just the way we have been brought up to be, like our parents by their parents. Maybe this will change with time, maybe not, we just are like we are. We might be different, but rude or thinking we are better than others, definitely not (speaking for me and my family and friends, there are rude and obnoxious Finns as there are of every nations people).

I'd like to say agree to disagree on this one.
I'm used to the way we are, and don't find it weird or rude, while it might seem like that for someone used to another way of being around people.

Yes, it is a very different way to be around people. Look through the comments on that linked article.
I had seen younger people treated this way, but then to see that elders were treated this way was terribly disturbing.

My elderly mother was shoved and knocked about by others in crowds without a backward glance. I watched people fall down or drop items and no one moved to help them. Not a single door was held open, nor thanks offered when I held them for others.

It is actually quite ridiculous how hard it seems for grown men and women to simply utter the words "excuse me" or "sorry" if they feel you are in their way. Instead, they elbow themselves past you while throwing their dirtiest look at you.

https://beeinfinland.wordpress.com/2012/10/06/is-that-rude-or-is-it-just-finnish/

How do you call that anything but rude?

 

[Tayh]

Yes, that is not mistaking your "not caring about others" as being rude, it is actually rude. It is more important to apologize for intentional harm done, rather than accidental.

What. Why would you apologise for intentional harm? That sort of implies that you are not actually apologetic, but rather that you think you can just get away with doing harm as long as you include an apology.

community blablabla special snowflake country

What. So you seriously don't think stuff like that don't happen in other countries?
Denmark, in particular, is well-known for its abundance of unions, clubs and communities for just about everything.
You Americans are usually the ones to call us socialists and communists because of our focus on healthcare and the well-being of each other, so it is a little strange to see that kind of accusations coming.

 

[Guffe]

snip?

snap.

The UK is far more apologetic than most European nations and are more likely to at least respond to someone asking the a question, unlike Finland where you ask multiple people on the street a question and they look at you like you are crazy, say nothing at all and leave.
.

my snip

It isn't just me...


I am not the only one who has noticed this. I don't want to call out specific cities or towns, as I think that would be rude to them and I don't want them to feel as though I am mocking them or making fun of them. It was just something I noticed that I thought was very odd compared to what I am accustomed to.

I'd like to say agree to disagree on this one.
I'm used to the way we are, and don't find it weird or rude, while it might seem like that for someone used to another way of being around people.

Yes, it is a very different way to be around people. Look through the comments on that linked article.
I had seen younger people treated this way, but then to see that elders were treated this way was terribly disturbing.


How do you call that anything but rude?

Those examplees you brought up are rude people, but those are a few comments on an internet site.
If I wanted I could search up just as many positives.

When I hold the door, people say thank you 99% of the time, when someone holds it for me, I say thanks 100% of the time.
I don't run past people and elbow them, when someone falls I help them, as do my friends. The few times I've fallen/slipped, I've bee helped up.

I feel like you're just searching for the negatives, a few comments on a website doesn't make everyone in that country an ass hole. Most of us are nice people, as in most other countries. It's not a norm in Finland to elbow yourself past people and never say thanks. People I see everyday or so, I say good morning to and they respond (neighbours, cashiers, friends friends friends), we thank each other for small things and say sorry when we do something stupid.

Looking past the 3 pages this topic has gathered, it pretty much seems you're just looking for the negatives of other nations and not accepting the fact that we can be different and still equal, we're just used to our system of being, which is more quiet than yours (talking about Finland on the quiet part).

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

Yes, that is not mistaking your "not caring about others" as being rude, it is actually rude. It is more important to apologize for intentional harm done, rather than accidental.

What. Why would you apologise for intentional harm? That sort of implies that you are not actually apologetic, but rather that you think you can just get away with doing harm as long as you include an apology.

community blablabla special snowflake country

What. So you seriously don't think stuff like that don't happen in other countries?
Denmark, in particular, is well-known for its abundance of unions, clubs and communities for just about everything.
You Americans are usually the ones to call us socialists and communists because of our focus on healthcare and the well-being of each other, so it is a little strange to see that kind of accusations coming.

I am actually Hopi,(they call us communists and socialists too) and currently living in the US. I am actually for public healthcare basic income ect..

Yes, it does happen in other countries. And yes I think everyone should be treated like a special snowflake, everyone should be checked on in the community to make sure they have what they need for the night, everyone is family. IF someone is sick, or unable to cook themselves dinner that night, who helps them if they live alone? How do you know if your neighbors need help that evening if you don't talk to them? To me that is all part of being a community as well. If we didn't talk to our neighbors daily, we would not know when they need help.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

snip?

snap.

The UK is far more apologetic than most European nations and are more likely to at least respond to someone asking the a question, unlike Finland where you ask multiple people on the street a question and they look at you like you are crazy, say nothing at all and leave.
.

my snip

It isn't just me...


I am not the only one who has noticed this. I don't want to call out specific cities or towns, as I think that would be rude to them and I don't want them to feel as though I am mocking them or making fun of them. It was just something I noticed that I thought was very odd compared to what I am accustomed to.

I'd like to say agree to disagree on this one.
I'm used to the way we are, and don't find it weird or rude, while it might seem like that for someone used to another way of being around people.

Yes, it is a very different way to be around people. Look through the comments on that linked article.
I had seen younger people treated this way, but then to see that elders were treated this way was terribly disturbing.


How do you call that anything but rude?

Those examplees you brought up are rude people, but those are a few comments on an internet site.
If I wanted I could search up just as many positives.

When I hold the door, people say thank you 99% of the time, when someone holds it for me, I say thanks 100% of the time.
I don't run past people and elbow them, when someone falls I help them, as do my friends. The few times I've fallen/slipped, I've bee helped up.

I feel like you're just searching for the negatives, a few comments on a website doesn't make everyone in that country an ass hole. Most of us are nice people, as in most other countries. It's not a norm in Finland to elbow yourself past people and never say thanks. People I see everyday or so, I say good morning to and they respond (neighbours, cashiers, friends friends friends), we thank each other for small things and say sorry when we do something stupid.

Looking past the 3 pages this topic has gathered, it pretty much seems you're just looking for the negatives of other nations and not accepting the fact that we can be different and still equal, we're just used to our system of being, which is more quiet than yours (talking about Finland on the quiet part).

OF course I am not just searching for negatives, you told me you have never heard of such so I was pointing out that I was not the only one who noticed these exact behaviors I was discussing, it was not uncommon.

I can point out very many negatives of where I am as well (as I have not failed to discuss on these forums already) however, this thread was specifically about the differences with how the different nations interact among the general public so of course that is what I am discussing. Of course there are positives about all cultures, but this wasn't a thread about those. I think all cultures can stand to learn much from one another and have things they can improve. I am not going to pretend the awful things do not exist in this society simply because I am living here. ( I already stated I am surrounded by racists and snobs on the other thread)

I see no point in defending the negatives of my culture, as that just means they will take longer to improve. It isn't like cultures do not improve over time.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

Well alcohol relaxes you of course, maybe you guys just need to relax a bit more and not be so uptight. XD
Yea, I do not usually assume that everyone is crazy that randomly talks to me, though I have thought that about some who don't talk and just stare, or that get fidgety and refuse to make eye contact but you know they are looking at you the second you look away.

I agree ... whenever I need an excuse am stressed, I reach for a bottle of red. Though in this case I am a random crazy talking to you. I got certified ages ago. I think people should have random thingson their person. Something that can serve as an icebreaker. Make people more approachable.

I think the world would be a better place if everybody was more random in their outward appearance for the sake of strangers making conversation. Well ... I don't think it would be a better place. I just think it would be a stranger place, that might actively work against people making more realistic social connections.

"By law; your clothes should be 5 more percentage points on weird, and your hair at least 13 points more fantastic on the eclecto-meter ... get them out of my sight..." says the disguisted police constable with a pink mullet and an inflatable hammer in exchange of their baton.

Why do I get the feeling you want to live in the "Who Framed Rodger Rabbit" world?

 

[Addendum_Forthcoming]

Why do I get the feeling you want to live in the "Who Framed Rodger Rabbit" world?

Only when I go off my meds. And then it's mostly voices that I can't remember exactly what they say. Though I do remember my mouth dry and having stood next a kettle in the corner of the kitchen for what must have been 30+ minutes. So I feel like I must have been talking to something, but I can't put the conversation together properly in my head.

Must have been a pretty intense debate though.

Actually a sane part of me wishes I could live in Toon land. Stuff makes more sense, when you think about it. Cars should be self driving, require no petrol, and no matter how horrific the injury people can just be brought back with pseudomagic ... and all guns should have smart munitions options for proper target acquisition rather than ... well... some of the more grievous publicised recipients of bullets ...

 

[omega 616]

Now, this is going to seem rude and I would like to preface this by saying that I have only met one American, a Texan to be exact.

Anyway, from TV and what I know about the US, it seems very ... fake? Like "have a nice day, sir/maam!" are you really wishing me a nice day or are you doing it 'cos your corporate over lords want you to? Or waitresses/waiters, are they nice or are they nice 'cos they want a bigger tip?

Maybe it's just me being cynical but I figure if everybody is being nice all of the time, they aren't nice but are fake.

I usually find people who talk to me annoying, there is no reason to talk to me ... like I remember a run of people asking me about train information (I have to take the train to work), I don't work for the rail company but they thought I did for some reason. Why they felt the need to ask somebody anything, when there are multiple LED boards all with all the information you could ever want.

I always have earphones in as well, so while I am waiting I sometimes get that old dear, who wants to make idle chat about the weather or some shit and I just want to tell them to shut up but can't.

Maybe it's we are a cold hearted, stranger danger kind of people or maybe it has something to do with the American pharmaceutical industry ... just to make wild accusations and stabs in the dark

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

Now, this is going to seem rude and I would like to preface this by saying that I have only met one American, a Texan to be exact.

Anyway, from TV and what I know about the US, it seems very ... fake? Like "have a nice day, sir/maam!" are you really wishing me a nice day or are you doing it 'cos your corporate over lords want you to? Or waitresses/waiters, are they nice or are they nice 'cos they want a bigger tip?

Maybe it's just me being cynical but I figure if everybody is being nice all of the time, they aren't nice but are fake.

I usually find people who talk to me annoying, there is no reason to talk to me ... like I remember a run of people asking me about train information (I have to take the train to work), I don't work for the rail company but they thought I did for some reason. Why they felt the need to ask somebody anything, when there are multiple LED boards all with all the information you could ever want.

I always have earphones in as well, so while I am waiting I sometimes get that old dear, who wants to make idle chat about the weather or some shit and I just want to tell them to shut up but can't.

Maybe it's we are a cold hearted, stranger danger kind of people or maybe it has something to do with the American pharmaceutical industry ... just to make wild accusations and stabs in the dark

Of course there is a difference between people being at work and people not being paid to be nice to you. People at work are being paid to be nice, yes because that is a part of " customer service". People usually do not respond well to people telling them to piss off while they are trying to buy something from them so yes, they have " work policies" in regards to what they expect from their customer service representatives.

People who are not at work though can be as nice or as rude as they like, and yes you will encounter both here. People here though are usually genuinely nice for the most part, not just "faking it". Others, will tell you to f off if you even look at them. Some people are just nice most the time, though and no, not faking it and thinking bad thoughts instead. LOL

Yes, thinking that people are faking it and have ulterior motives is quite a bit paranoid. Not everyone thinks horrible things about others all the time. If you think Americans are too happy, you would really be freaked out by Hopi, who are rarely sad and always genuinely smiling and come by your home every evening to make sure you had dinner and everything is okay. LOL

 

[Tayh]

Yes, it does happen in other countries. And yes I think everyone should be treated like a special snowflake, everyone should be checked on in the community to make sure they have what they need for the night, everyone is family. IF someone is sick, or unable to cook themselves dinner that night, who helps them if they live alone? How do you know if your neighbors need help that evening if you don't talk to them? To me that is all part of being a community as well. If we didn't talk to our neighbors daily, we would not know when they need help.

That does actually happen in the rest of the world, too. Although, in Denmark we have stuff like free healthcare so that people don't have to suffer just because they can't afford treatment.
You seem to be rather set in your belief about "European" culture, though, regardless of all the people saying otherwise in this thread.

To reiterate, just because we don't mingle with strangers, doesn't mean we're heartless beasts who care little for the people in our vicinity.