Every kid in the US has to take a test made by you

him over there

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C F said:
Well, I'd definitely grill them on the American government and economy. But that's boring and something they should know anyway, so let's skip it.


2) What is the best elemental typing for a Pokemon to have in terms of weakness/resistance?
The best elemental typing is ghost/dark of course because you get a resistance and three immunities. Plus your next question is impossible because it has no weaknesses.
 

Dogstile

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Mine would be a bunch of general awareness questions, combined with questions involving racial sensitivity and how to be decent towards a fellow human.

This isn't just in the US. The UK could use this too.
 

RanD00M

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Auninteligentname said:
3; I don't know what that really means, but my answer is Reykjavik.
The question when translated to English means " What is the size of my dick.", so according to your answer my dick must be fucking huge.
 

Epictank of Wintown

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There would only be one question on my test. It would be an all-encompassing question, and the greatest one that man has ever asked:

1) Why?
 

vrbtny

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him over there said:
Question number 1: Beat battletoads.
question 2: Do you like fettucine alfredo?
question 3: How many hours do you spend watching mtv?
question 4: Are you enjoying this?
question 6: Did you answer question 5?
question 7: The clothes you are wearing don't fit you, match your social clique to the appropriate ones.
if you fail, nothing happens. If you pass, nothing happens but you get bragging rights.
I so failed this test.

Question 1 : Wha?
Question 2 : Who?
Question 3 : Total up all episodes of Death Valley and you have my answer.
Question 4 : >:|
Question 5 : .....
Question 6 : .....
Question 7 : Wha?

C F said:
Well, I'd definitely grill them on the American government and economy. But that's boring and something they should know anyway, so let's skip it.

Considering you've actually passed the mandatory and relevant sections, I'd imagine you're smarter than most American children. This section is a lot more laid back and tongue-in-cheek than the other two. You are still required to take it, and it is possible to fail.
Or is it?
We'll start you off easy.

1) You're in a room. It is strangely structured, and the walls, ceiling and floor are made of white panels. There is a circular door up on a balcony you cannot get to without assistance. High up on one of the walls, you see an observation room obscured by thick glass. You can make out some chairs and a table, but other than that, it is uninhabited. Where are you?
1a) Should you be scared? (yes/no)
2) What is the best elemental typing for a Pokemon to have in terms of weakness/resistance?
3) Name a move that can open the aforementioned Pokemon up to a Super-Effective type attack.
4) What type is the super-effective move?
5) True or false: Monks are supernatural entities that can warp the minds of lesser individuals.
6) Is that so? Fascinating. Well, let's put that to the test. WOLOLO.
7) Did it work?
8) Was your answer proved right or wrong?
9) What is your favorite type of music?
10) Favorite band?
11) Text emoticons: yay or nay?
12) Favorite map projection? [http://xkcd.com/977/]
13) What is your favorite word?
14) What is your least favorite word?
15) Who is best pony?
16) Why?
17) Don't answer 16.
18) 17 can't be trusted. Answer 16.
19) It appears we have a spy in our midst. Is it the medic?
20) Who is it? (I think it's 17. The Miles kid. He looks shifty.)
21) Alright, let's get him. CHAERG!
22) Did we get him?
23) Are you sure?
24) True or False?
25) False or False?
26) Which False?
27) Is this statement false?
28) Is it possible to fail this test?
29) Are there any wrong answers?
30) Is there a right answer?
31) Do you think you failed?

Well, I'll be the judge of that.
Okay, I probably won't, since I have better things to do than grade everyone's test by hand. That's what my hand-picked graders are for.

Feels good to be the King President.
That is quite possibly the greatest quiz. Ever. Of all time.
 

him over there

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vrbtny said:
him over there said:
Question number 1: Beat battletoads.
question 2: Do you like fettucine alfredo?
question 3: How many hours do you spend watching mtv?
question 4: Are you enjoying this?
question 6: Did you answer question 5?
question 7: The clothes you are wearing don't fit you, match your social clique to the appropriate ones.
if you fail, nothing happens. If you pass, nothing happens but you get bragging rights.
I so failed this test.

Question 1 : Wha?
Question 2 : Who?
Question 3 : Total up all episodes of Death Valley and you have my answer.
Question 4 : >:|
Question 5 : .....
Question 6 : .....
Question 7 : Wha?
Do you know nothing of the self esteem crushing frustration of battle toads? Apparently you aren't enjoying the test and you haven't even attempted "question" number 1.
 

orangeban

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Question 1) How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

If they answer that question in any way other than scrunching up the test, shouting "This is total bullshit!" and throwing it in the bin, they fail.
 

The Rogue Wolf

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Explain in at least one thousand words each the reasons why the following statements are nonsensical and/or illogical.

1. "Let's just nuke the Middle East and take their oil."

2. "Homosexual marriage defiles the sanctity of the institution, but I'm okay with married couples divorcing."

3. "The Internet should obey my country's laws and everyone should have to follow them."

Cite sources.
 

hashtag

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1) Who is indisputably the most important person in America: He who shelters us from the harshness of the terrorists, and to whom we owe everything we have, including our lives?

And all the answers would be: The President.
 

orangeban

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Torrasque said:
4. Explain in 500 words or less why Imperial is a better measurement system than Metric (This is also for lols, I want to see what stupid answers people come up with since Imperial is the dumbest measurement system on the face of the earth)
I am so taking this one on, let's rock this!

The imperial measurement system is better than metric, depending of the situation you are in. For doing calculations, metric is indisputably better, and therefore metric is also the superior system for scientists. However:

The imperial system is based on the human body. The inch corresponds to fingers, a foot to feet, a yard is the tip of your middle finger to your shoulder (roughly). While this is by no means scientific, it makes it very easy for the average person to estimate lengths, because they are dealing with measurements they can easily imagine in their head.

Basically: For the scientist, metric is better, for the layperson, imperial is better.

Also, metric is French, and the French suck. Wait, crap, this was a test designed to show your ignorance right? Shit, I think I failed.
 

orangeban

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Torrasque said:
4. Explain in 500 words or less why Imperial is a better measurement system than Metric (This is also for lols, I want to see what stupid answers people come up with since Imperial is the dumbest measurement system on the face of the earth)
I am so taking this one on, let's rock this!

The imperial measurement system is better than metric, depending of the situation you are in. For doing calculations, metric is indisputably better, and therefore metric is also the superior system for scientists. However:

The imperial system is based on the human body. The inch corresponds to fingers, a foot to feet, a yard is the tip of your middle finger to your shoulder (roughly). While this is by no means scientific, it makes it very easy for the average person to estimate lengths, because they are dealing with measurements they can easily imagine in their head.

Basically: For the scientist, metric is better, for the layperson, imperial is better.

Also, metric is French, and the French suck. Wait, crap, this was a test designed to show your ignorance right? Shit, I think I failed.
 

royohz

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Jul 23, 2009
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Test of critical thinking ability & overall intelligence.

Question 1: Do you believe in a god/gods? Yes or no.
If no, you pass.
 

Laser Priest

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!) In which way would you like to die?

2) Would you like to be resurrected as my eternal slave? (Note: You have no choice, I just want to know how mad you'll be.)
 

DFogify

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Enjoy

1.Three men go to stay at a motel and the clerk
charges them $30.00 for the room. They split the cost ten
dollars each. Later the manager tells the clerk that he over-
charged the men and that the actual cost should have been
$25.00. He gives the clerk $5.00 and tells him to give it to the
men. But he decides to cheat them and pockets $2.00. He then
gives each man a dollar. Now each man has paid $9.00 to stay in
the room and 3 X $9.00 = $27.00. The clerk pocketed $2.00.
$27.00 + $2.00 = $29.00. So where is the other $1.00?
 

Captain Booyah

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milna64 said:
Midgeamoo said:
1) Describe Communism
2) Describe Socialism
3) Describe Capitalism
4) Describe Nationalism
5) Describe Fascism
6) Put them all on a scale from left to right wing

Estimated about 10% of people getting it anywhere near right.
1) Communism is like, sharing all your shit with other people 'n' thaa.
2) Socialism is like, another word for Communism used by people to sound all intellectual. Right?
3) Captialism is the one we do. It's got something to do with money and everyone tries to have as much as possible.
4) Nationalism must have something to do with liking your own country? And you kill everyone else.
5) Fascism is the same as Nationalism except you only kill Jews and Homosexuals.
6) Pretty sure they are organised from left to right.

This is, roughly speaking, what I actually think the political systems are. Would anyone care to enlighten me?

As far as I know I am a Marxist, because I think Christopher Hitchens said he was one once and I liked him.
This reminds me of this one guy who was in my A-Level English Literature class. He was messing about one day (because he didn't actually care about that class and was genuinely shocked on the first day that he'd be expected to read) when we learning the themes of socialism and capitalism in a book, so the teacher asked him, "So, can you explain what socialism is?" He replied with "Uh, yeah. It's like, going out and drinking with your mates, innit."

He was about seventeen or eighteen years old. It kind of killed me a little bit inside.
 

theheroofaction

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1) Who was the origin of the "mad scientist" stereotype.

Everyone who fails has to retake both their physics and history classes. All of them.
 

him over there

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DFogify said:
Enjoy

1.Three men go to stay at a motel and the clerk
charges them $30.00 for the room. They split the cost ten
dollars each. Later the manager tells the clerk that he over-
charged the men and that the actual cost should have been
$25.00. He gives the clerk $5.00 and tells him to give it to the
men. But he decides to cheat them and pockets $2.00. He then
gives each man a dollar. Now each man has paid $9.00 to stay in
the room and 3 X $9.00 = $27.00. The clerk pocketed $2.00.
$27.00 + $2.00 = $29.00. So where is the other $1.00?
He received five dollars to give back and gave back three while pocketing two, all the money has been given back, it is just awkwardly worded. The two and the 27 don't need to be added they are subtracted. Simple really, the two is contained in the 27 dollar cost.