Quotes from the article between brackets:
[This behavior is often bundled with a fearful, passive, or insecure approach to dating and women, which shouldn't be surprising, considering that Nice Guys? are nothing if not insecure. (...) You've got to put yourself on the line. Because love only comes to those who earn it.]
Up to about this point, I was actually quite happy with your article and I think that you're spot-on; it's not hard at all for a insecure guy to believe that simply 'being there' and other similar behaviour somehow merits/qualifies them for a relationship with a girl. Love, like so many things in life, has to have an element of risk, you have to actually state your intentions at some point (although when to do so is debatable and I think you make it seem like it's strictly necessary to do so very early, which isn't necessarily true), and I like that make clear how this is distinct from being a nice guy (i.e., being a nice person).
It's starting below that I think that you start to write in a very unfortunate way, that makes your message seem something that it isn't, a real shame:
[Generally, I think being "nice" to attract a mate is overrated. (...) That's just standard practice for living in polite society. And just because people often aren't nice to each other doesn't mean that when you are, it somehow makes you more distinctive or desirable. I mean, it's like flossing. You really want to hang your hat on the fact that you floss, and other people don't? I mean, sure, you'll have nice teeth. But... what else?
A woman who tells her friends that, "well, he was nice" is damning you with faint praise, because it means she can't think of anything else to remember you by.]
Sorry, but the way you write the above makes it seem as if there's an actual problem with being nice... I mean, I understand what the message you're trying to get across is, but you've expressed yourself in an pretty bad way, which is lamentable.
If I understand you correctly, what you want to say is that simply being nice to other people doesn't make for a particularly attractive personality characteristic and that no woman/man would likely be interested in man/woman that is only 'nice' (i.e., courteous and whatnot) to them and is seen as such.
The problem is that you're creating a situation where people are reduced down to a single characteristic. No relationship between two people that isn't incredibly superficial, and let me emphasize that I'm not just talking about romantic relationships here, happens in such a way that the only thing that the one person can observe in the other is their 'niceness'. If that's somehow happening, then it's not really a relationship and more of the case of two people who very casually know each other and, in that case, what should be happening is that if one of them is interested in the other, they should simply work to get to know the other better.
So, to make sure I'm very clear about this: if A looks at B and can only think of how B is 'nice', then the clearly A and B don't really know one another yet; as long as B realizes this (and if he/she doesn't, he/she might very well be a Nice Guy (TM)) and understands that it's necessary to get to know the other person better, then what you're written above doesn't really apply.
[So don't settle for being "nice". Strive for "amazing", or "unforgettable", or "the greatest man I've ever met".]
This, again, isn't per se a bad piece of advice, just poorly expressed. As in my above comments, what you're trying to say is that a person should do more that just be 'nice' and should make some effort to impress the other as they get to know one another which is something that, as long as you're not misrepresenting yourself, I agree is pretty good advice.
It really is ok to show off some of your better characteristics, together with your not so pleasant side; that's a part of getting to know anyone better and there's nothing wrong with making sure a person you're interested in can see more of better side quickly, otherwise why would they ever think in being interested in you?
The problem is that the way you write (and see below for more), you see to imply that a guy (in particular) needs to be arrogant or proud or 'jock-like' to succeed which is, most definitely, not the advice you're trying to give; it just like that.
[Yes, be respectful, generous and kind. Be nice. But also: Do the things you do well. Don't apologize when you win.]
As per the above, this is good advice, although 'win' is a little ambiguous. ^_^
[Tell jokes in a crowd. Take the mic in Rock Band. Be the DM. See the world. Laugh loudly. Dance badly. Try the things that scare you. Wear a stupid hat.]
Again, poorly expressed. VERY poorly expressed. And I think you've misjudged your audience badly.
A introvert (and, with reasonable odds, that's the sort of person who's reading this right now) will read the above and think that what you mean is, again, that it is necessary him/her to act like an extrovert / jock / to call attention / to do things that they absolutely don't feel comfortable in doing, to have any chance with the opposite sex.
I know this isn't what you're trying to say, in fact, I think you're most likely just trying to highlight some ways that a person can showcase some of their more attractive personality characteristics and emphasizing again that you do really have to put yourself at risk if you want to establish a relationship. Again, both are sound advice.
And, again, the problem is that I think you've picked some really poor examples that probably come off, again to an introvert, as stuff that they wouldn't feel comfortable at any level in doing. That, in fact, they would need to radically change they personality to have any chance. Or, and I'm exaggerating for effect, that they have something of a personality disorder, in that they necessary steps towards finding love requires them to do stuff they find almost abhorrent.
[Share your opinions freely. Share your kindnesses even more freely. Love yourself first, and without restraint.]
Better, much better, but sandwiched between two 'misleading' parts and, quite easily, lost.
[Just burn, burn like a flame that can't go out; burn brighter and hotter than even the sun.
Fuck being a nice guy. Be a supernova instead.]
And, yeah, I've got nothing else to add to that, what I've written above applies liberally to these last lines. It sounds nothing like the message you're trying to pass.
Now, you may be asking yourself, why have I taken the time to write out such a long analyses of your writing? Because I have nothing better to do? Because I have some sort of personality disorder? Because I'm attempting to troll you really badly by spending far too much time on it?
No, it's simply because the message you're trying to get across is, essentially a good one and one that should be told more often: that you have to take risks in trying to find love, that you must be ready to be rejected, that being a Nice Guy (TM) is not healthy for yourself (or others, really), that you shouldn't be ashamed of highlighting some of your more attractive quirks, that being nice (in the literal sense of the word) is not enough, that you must seriously look at yourself and try to reason whether you're a Nice Guy (TM) or just a nice guy, and so forth.
I just think that, as an introvert, this message is almost lost in the way you write (you're far to aggressive at some points, which will make many readers go on the defensive) and that the message that comes out from a more causal reading is, instead, that: to have any chance with the opposite sex, you have to become an extrovert / jock, that you shouldn't be nice to other people, that you might have to radically change your personality / that you can't be yourself, etc.
Obviously, NOT what you intended, but it's a terrible shame, as this is the last thing that Nice Guys (TM) and nice guys/introverts need to hear; it'll either despair them (the latter) or convince them that they should stick to what they're doing (the former).
TL;DR: Lara, if I might make a suggestion: read what you've written again, quickly and without too much reflection and try to put yourself in the position of introvert, of a person who has difficulties in expressing themselves, of a nice guy, of a Nice Guy (TM); what message comes across from your article? What do you think people will take from it?
