Paying parents rent.

[PatrickXD]

How the fuck do you have a house with 10 people in it and neither parent have a job? It boggles the mind.
A bit more on topic, I think this is a pretty tough situation. From my personal experience from rent arguments when I got my weekend job (my mum wanted 30% of anything I get), the reasoning that I put behind not paying rent was fairly straightforward.

Spoiler

1: I cook for everyone
2: I clean the entire house, up to and including my parents room and 3 bathrooms
3: I have never and will never receive pocket money / free gifts outside of a special occasion (birthdays and christmas), everything I get is earned
4: I regularly help out with my mum's horses in terms of field maintenance, be that clearing fields of manure or some low level landscaping (all for free)
5: (and this is a fairly terrible one) I have no friends who do any of the above. I do not know a single person who would put up with that, in the same way that I have never heard of a parent asking their 16 year old son for rent from what is already minimum wage.

After I pointed these things out my parents started crying and apologizing and I have not had to pay rent. However, if you do not have reasons in the same vein as these, ie. if you do not already effectively work for your parents then I think it's fair for them to ask rent.

 

[flaming_squirrel]

I'd like to also add I was a straight A student. Every subject I took in school and college, I got an A in. I'd also like to add that I've been looking for a job for 7 months. With only 1 interview under my belt.

This makes me believe that the pure strain I put in to getting good grades was... all for nothing.

I've tried supermarkets, they aren't hiring either. I'm not under qualified enough.

Then volunteer work or practical education aiming for a specific industry is the way to go, feeling sorry for yourself does two things, jack and shit.

 

[Teachingaddict]

Goign to sound an arse here, but quit being selfish..

1)ok she owes you £700, what about the "thousands" she has spent on your and your two sisters over your lifetime....hell my parents probably "owe" me thousands by now (I am 33).



2) £100 / month for bills, freedom to do what you want, free internet, food on your table, tv licence paid, landline paid...hell thats a fricking steal, and even if you pay any of them it is still a fecking steal with some univeristy accomodation charging that/week (I was paying £50/week without internet, phone or food.


3)She's bloody unemployed as is your stepfather, ofc they are going to want rent when they have three "of age" children effectively (and please pardon the term) sponging off them...it makes you appaer more incredibly selfish that you cannot see this....

 

[O maestre]

100£ a month for free food tv and possibly internet... take it believe me being a university student myself its a hand to mouth style of living, when you are on your own even with government support.... unless you are willing to share a flat with someone.

however it has to be said that i had the opportunity to stay at home free of charge, but chose to move because the feeling of independence and freedom* far outweighed any comforts i had.


*once you start at uni you will have very little time to enjoy your freedom unfortunately... but its still worth it IMO

 

[TonyVonTonyus]

Dude, find another place to live. Move into a fraternity or something.

 

[Odbarc]

To start, I'm gonna give you some background about me. I live in Scotland and that I am 18. 10 people live in my house, my Mum, Step-dad, sister, 3 Step-Sisters, 1 Step-Brother, my Cousin and my Cousin's 3 year old son. And of course me. I finished school in June and my Sister nad Step-Sister finished school June 2010.

I start University on Monday and I get money from SAAS/SLC for doing so. I get ~£550 a month from them combined, and just over £1000 in September combined (I don't know why more in September, i guess for books and stuff.)

To keep costs down going ot Uni (by the time I finish my course I'll be ~£16000 in debt, possibly more, since the Government pay for 4 years of University) I decided to stay at home, thinking my Mum was reasonable since my Sister has been at Uni for a year and didn't have to give my Mum anything.

Anyways, she turned round to me, my Sister, and my Step-Sister today and said the she needs £100 a month of us in "rent". I don't mind giving her money, but she owes me ~£700 from the money I've let her borrow over the years since i was about 14. Her reasoning is that the three of us left school, her income has been decreasing because of the money she gets from the government when we are at school. My Mum and Step-Dad also don't have a job, so I think it is compeltely unreasonable to siphon money from us because they are too lazy to go out and get a job. It just pisses me off that she refuses to get a job.

Should i give her the money? Do you or did you have to pay your parents rent whilst doing your studies? How much did you have to pay them?

7 months 'free' until she paid you back.

It's completely fair to ask only $100 a month.
I've been living on my own for a while now.

Rent a bachelors apartment: $600 a month. For me, this includes hydro and water.
I used to live in a 2-bedroom w/o hydro and that was $425 a month + $30 a month (Total 60 every other month).
Internet is extra, I pay $40 a month but if I keep going over my limit, I might bump myself up to the $60 package.

$100 is nearly NOTHING for an individual to pay. Do you pay for any of the internet? You probably drain about $15 of electricity a month. Your share is at least $6 assuming you never exceed your limits. (I can easily as one person.)
Food can be expensive. I generally eat $100 worth of food a WEEK and that's when I'm trimming. It can easily bloat to twice that when I'm trying to gain weight. At the very least, buying stuff in bulk, you're eating like, at least $25 worth of food a week. This alone dictates a $100 monthly rent only balances out a portion of the drain your causing.

Even if they demand $500 a month from you, that's still better than anything you can get leaving home. There's no reason they shouldn't ask you for money.
I've been paying rent (out my ass really) since I was 18. Neither of my brothers did because they couldn't and I ended up losing almost ALL of my savings to keep us fed. (No gratitude.)


Hindsight, it's really funny what young adults complain about when it comes to new demands of an able-bodies person whose very used of the very comfortable life their parents often have given their children.
I remember hearing a friend of mine whine "his mom didn't put enough meat in his sandwich for work" and I couldn't help but wonder why he wasn't just making his own sandwiches like I did. It takes half a minute to make a sandwich. How can he not have time for this when he whines about for 10 minutes?

 

[Continuity]

Anyways, she turned round to me, my Sister, and my Step-Sister today and said the she needs £100 a month of us in "rent". I don't mind giving her money, but she owes me ~£700 from the money I've let her borrow over the years since i was about 14. Her reasoning is that the three of us left school, her income has been decreasing because of the money she gets from the government when we are at school. My Mum and Step-Dad also don't have a job, so I think it is compeltely unreasonable to siphon money from us because they are too lazy to go out and get a job. It just pisses me off that she refuses to get a job.

Should i give her the money? Do you or did you have to pay your parents rent whilst doing your studies? How much did you have to pay them?

£100 seriously? I payed my parents £350.

Its a simple equation, can you live somewhere else cheaper? (the answer is no) if not then you give her the £100 or you move out (and pay more somewhere else).

 

[DeadEy3]

Doing it while you're still studying is harsh...

 

[Bebus]

£100 a month is nothing, I was paying £60 a week in student accomodation, then £20 for food (I LIKE TO EAT) then £10/20pm for electricity, £10-15pm for broadband and £10pm for my phone.

So £100pm is a steal for rent.

Wait... What? £20 is considered a lot for food? I spend at least £80, a week. That's me at my most frugal. I own my own flat, next to the Uni, so I suppose I have that expense covered. But, still. £20 a week? That's under £3 a day? I'm desperately confused here. That is Ramen' territory. £1 for each meal. How can people live like that?

I would very much like to know how you manage to spend £80 per week on food, on yourself! That is over £10 per day! Do you eat out all the time? Do you live on takeaway?!

How to spend £20 on a week's food, assuming you have a fairly good stock of 'staples' like tinned tomatoes, herbs & spices, pasta, oil, flour, oats. If not then go get some for about £10.

Day 1

Buy a decent sized chicken (£5)
Buy a pile of veg (£4)
Buy fruit for snacks (£3)
Perishables like milk (£2)
Buy kidney beans (£1)

Cook chicken by boiling it for 2 hours with some veg in a big pot. When it is done, keep the liquid and put in fridge. Take all meat off chicken and bones. You now have the base ingredients for at least 3 days of soup, stir fries, curry, pasta dishes and other things like sandwiches/salads for lunch. Make your own bread; dirt cheap, really easy and tastes soo good. Also impresses the ladies.

Day 4

Buy a large amount of beef mince (£5)

Ideas for using this: chili con carne, spag bol, meatballs, burgers, cottage pie.

Enjoy extra £60 per week (jealous...) to spend on booze, video games and hookers.

On a serious note, I really recommend the cookery book 'economy gastronomy' by Allegra McEverdy if you are looking for ways to save money on food. There are 2 sections: first like the recipes I described where you get one big ingredient and use it for several days' food, the second really good individual recipes she seems to make out of what others would call an 'empty fridge'.

 

[nolongerhere]

I'd just move out if I were you.

I bet he can't get rent anywhere else for 100/month. Sounds like she is giving him a deal.

IF your parents can afford it, its not unreasonable to expect a free ride during University. If however they can't, it is not at all unreasonable to ask for a small amount like that to help cover the costs they are incurring for you, such as food and utility costs.

You are 18, so be an adult. Agree to the rent, calmly discuss the 700 they owe you, and strike a deal for that to cover the first 7 months.

What university student just happens to have a spare £100 a month?

You may aswell just apply for a housing loan and move out.

How many university students don't pay rent? I imagine they would have £100 a month spare if they budgeted for it.

The students that live in halls an flats usually get accommodation loans. If you're going to get an accommodation loan you may aswell move out.

Yeah, but it's still more than £100 a month. £100 a month for rent and food and internet and electric is really cheap, and if he wants to pay more, then that's fine. Still seems pretty dumb to me if your home life is good.

 

[Bebus]

The students that live in halls an flats usually get accommodation loans. If you're going to get an accommodation loan you may aswell move out.

I would not ever advise anybody to take a loan when there is such a bloody good alternative available.

Do you know what a loan means? It needs to be repaid some day. With interest. The fewer debts you have when you start growing older, the much, much better off you will be. The economy is hardly going to get better any time soon and heading into life with big debts around your neck is going to affect your ability to save for a house, ability to live at a level you want to, and a single missed payment will cripple your ability to get credit.

Not worth the liability, and absolutely not in this case for the sake of £100 a month.

 

[Escapefromwhatever]

A child should always be welcome in his or her parent/s' home, no exceptions. It's terrible that she's making you pay rent, but from a practical side, it is likely cheaper than any other place that you could find, includes utilities, and is fully furnished. I'd say stick with it unless you can get enough money to move out- it can get really expensive, even if the rent's reasonable.

 

[FreakSheet]

Move in. When she's old and needs to move in with you, ask for $100 (don't have a euro option) a month.

On second thought, thats just really cold. Say it, then ask her how she feels and if she sees why it was wrong to do it to you.

 

[Insideout Ink Demon]

dont like it, move out. wish all my bills came to £100

 

[Evidencebased]

She's pretty hard to talk to in general, we don't get along too well, and I don't think asking her for 7 months free to clear what she owes me would go down too well, since that would mean that the whole point in asking me for money is redundant pretty redundant.

I suppose I should add that i don't have to pay her in months I don't get any money which I think it's from June-August which is more than fair. I was more annoyed when creating the topic and have calmed down a bit. I think £100 a month is too much when I'm only getting £500 month.
snip

Having to spend £100 out of £500 isn't too unreasonable, I think, even though it feels like a lot. The advice I've been given (when it comes to actual jobs and actual non-family renting) is that housing costs should be about 1/4 to 1/3 of your total income, so you're still not exceeding that. For example, I currently make about $2000 a month and spend $550 on rent for my apartment (splitting the total of $1100 rent with my roommate.) Being able to save any money is pretty nice, and having almost £400 a month to save or spend as you like is downright luxurious for a student! ;p

As for the £700, do you think she would be willing to give you a reduced rate until you're paid back? Like, you pay her only £50 a month for 14 months? However, if she's going to be unreasonable then it sucks but you might as well just consider that £700 a "thanks for being my mom" gift and never count on getting it back because it's not worth the huge amount of aggravation. Situations like that are the reason my dad has a strict no-lending-money-to-family policy, and either entirely refuses to give people money or gives it as a gift. £700 is an expensive lesson but it could be worse.

 

[bluepilot]

I don't see why she should get to sponge off the state and you.

If she had a job or attempted to find work I would feel differently, but since she is living at the tax payer's expense I don't think she has any right

The money you get is for you to use to travel to school, buy books e.t.c, not for parents on welfare to claim just because they will get less benefits.

You are Scottish and go to University for free, and having student debt is nothing these days, so I think you should get your funding updated to cover your rent and get out. It will take a few months to get the extra finding through though

What University are you going to? I went to Edinburgh and the rent was expensive. 100 pound a week is a pretty good deal but the principle of the whole thing sticks in the back of my throat. Don't let your family hold you back and try to get back your 700 pounds.

 

[Insideout Ink Demon]

She did raise you for 18 years, diapered your ass when you were crapping yourself as a baby, fed you when you couldn't feed yourself, etc. I think £100 is a trivial fee to pay rent.

If she wasn't prepared to do that then she shouldn't have had a child.

He didn't decide one day that he should just be born and inconvenience her with nappies and crying.

Your logic is flawed, that is what is expected of every parent. Paying upkeep whilst you're studying shouldn't be expected of any child.

18 onwards he's no longer a child, there are children in the house who deserve supporting more as they are children, and benifits are being reduced due to his being over 18.
Also, parents have a reasponsibility to prepare you for the real world. it'd cost him alot more to move out

 

[Insideout Ink Demon]

She did raise you for 18 years, diapered your ass when you were crapping yourself as a baby, fed you when you couldn't feed yourself, etc. I think £100 is a trivial fee to pay rent.

If she wasn't prepared to do that then she shouldn't have had a child.

He didn't decide one day that he should just be born and inconvenience her with nappies and crying.

Your logic is flawed, that is what is expected of every parent. Paying upkeep whilst you're studying shouldn't be expected of any child.

18 onwards he's no longer a child, there are children in the house who deserve supporting more as they are children, and benifits are being reduced due to his being over 18.
Also, parents have a reasponsibility to prepare you for the real world. it'd cost him alot more to move out

As someone else in this thread said.

A parents responsibility doesn't just disappear once the child turns 18. You only stop being a parent when you're mentally or physically incapable of being one.

If he can't afford £100 a month then what is he to do? He's left with the option of dropping out of uni to pick up a paying job. Not exactly the most parental ultimatum to give a child is it?

i never said they should relinquish all responsibility at 18. but their priorities should shift as his age changes, and teach him a little bit about surviving in the real world, give him a little responsibility. parents obligation to raise their child goes beyond throwing money at them.

why isn't it a parental thing to do? there are other children, actual minors in the house, should they suffer so he can go into further education without any promise of a job after? shouldnt (i'm guessing an age here) a 12 year old being clothed and fed take priority over an 18 year olds dreams of further education?

he's 18 and got to take some responsibilities in life. it's not like they're asking him to pay exactly his share of all costs, just a reasonable contribution.
EDIT: No its not a childs reasponsibilty to suport the family, but he aint a child no more n £100 a month aint suppoting, its a contribution

 

[Andalusa]

Find a way to work around the money she owes you, say 7 months of rent free living, then pay the rent as she wishes. I've just turned 18, as a deal, the same deal she had with my brother when he turned 18, we would give her some money each month, roughly £100, as soon as we were in full time employment or a steady income. Think of it this way, it prepares you for when you have your own house and have to pay rent, bills and all that jazz. And if Scotland works the same way as England (yes I'm a little dense) she would no longer be getting any child benefits or things like that from the government. You'd still be living there using the same resources as ever, but your mother would have less money to provide those. Paying her rent will make up for what she'll no longer get now that you're no longer a child (in the eyes of the law).

 

[Metaphysic]

It's cheaper than paying for your own flat somewhere.