Best way. My mum and dad split when I was about 3, and my mum got custody of me and my younger brother. He got to see us every other weekend, and I loved it when those weekends came around. I'd sit by the gate waiting for him, but sometimes he wouldn't show, and my mum would have to drag me inside crying.Phasmal said:That's why when I have kids I'm determined that the dad is either in it forever or not at all.
You can't just drift in and out of your kid's lives once every couple of years.
My dad used to do the no-show thing too, it happened so many times my mother used to say `Your dad is coming over tomorrow` and I'd be like `Sure he is.`WaysideMaze said:Best way. My mum and dad split when I was about 3, and my mum got custody of me and my younger brother. He got to see us every other weekend, and I loved it when those weekends came around. I'd sit by the gate waiting for him, but sometimes he wouldn't show, and my mum would have to drag me inside crying.Phasmal said:That's why when I have kids I'm determined that the dad is either in it forever or not at all.
You can't just drift in and out of your kid's lives once every couple of years.
1 day when I was 7 he just stopped showing up all together. Broke my heart it did.
Found out a few years ago (I'm 22 now) that he turned up a year later wanting to see us, but my mum refused, saying he couldn't just waltz in and out of our lives when he felt like it. She never told us, as children we wouldn't be able to understand, but I'm grateful she made that choice. Must have been hard for my mum to see how upset I was by him, I really did love him when I was a child.
On the plus side, he's given me a good model of what I don't want to turn out like.
To answer the thread question (as if those 2 paragraphs somehow don't) I'm a male and closer to my mum. She's the best.
At least my mum doesn't make me try to contact mine I guess. The most she has to say about him is what a useless sack of shit he is.Phasmal said:My dad used to do the no-show thing too, it happened so many times my mother used to say `Your dad is coming over tomorrow` and I'd be like `Sure he is.`
Having a dad is fine, and not having a dad is fine too. Having an sometimes-dad sucks ass.
It always pissed me off because he'd try and get people to pity him by saying my mother wasn't letting him see us, which is absolute bullshit.
She still tries to get me to contact him, I'm kind of like `I'm 22 it's a bit late for that.`
I had great father figures in my grandad on my mum's side and my stepdad anyway.
Though one day he is gonna kick the bucket and that's gonna be an awkward funeral for a dude I barely remember.