Poll: Is your virginity worth saving?

[Phasmal]

im 24 years old and proudly still a virgin, anyone who says otherwise well, enjoy you're STD's if and when you eventually get them.

Anyone who isn't a virgin will get an STD?
Clearly your brain is super-logical.

---

See, this is why I don't like this conversation.
It becomes all or nothing.
You're either a virgin til you get married or sleeping with everyone.

This is quite obviously not how it works.

There are people who have casual sex, there are `everything-but` virgins, there are people who only have sex in long term relationships and then there are people who would be happy to die a virgin.
There is a whole rainbow of fucking and not-fucking.

*Quick edit: Everything below the line is not aimed at you, but at this conversation in general.

 

[Adeptus Aspartem]

Or to catch up with the christmas analogy: Ever opened a really nice looking present, which you had to fight your inner demon not to open it beforehand, just to find out there are just a pair of socks in it?

Sucks, right?

 

[Libra]

Interesting question. I do plan to save myself until I'm with "the one" (21 now). I know it's a tad archaic and unrealistic, but its a decision I made long ago. It's not from a religious perspective in my case, just a sense of loyalty to that person I guess.

Then again, the fact that I'm gay means that
1) no-one I could date will likely agree, and
2) I'm going to hell anyway

So I don't know why I bother. But whatever.

 

[Flight]

Only if the person in question actually wants to save it. Ultimately, it's their body and their choice and they shouldn't be judged for it. Personally, however, I think the concept of virginity is outdated and sexist.

 

[Friendly Lich]

I think it has different meanings for men and women.

 

[MajorTomServo]

I plan to because of religious beliefs, but if you don't, that's your business.
Kind of sucks though, because I hate, like, uber Christian, bible-thumping types, but it seems like that's the only kind of girl who'll be cool with it. Guess I'll die alone and a virgin...

TBH I was surprised that nearly 20% of people thought so, I thought it'd be way lower.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Me and my family have a saying, ¡§Marriage and Christmas have a few things in common, unwrapping your present before the big special day is a ¡§VERY BAD IDEA!¡¨

I have a saying too:

You wouldn't buy a car without a test drive.

You wouldn't buy a dress (or suit for you guys) without trying it on.

Why would you make the most important decision in your life without making sure you and your partner are compatible?

Virginity = Ignorance. Don't get married while ignorant.

 

[Casual Shinji]

I've always seen it as a boulder I'm carrying on my back. I'd rather be rid of it and not have to suffer under society's judgment than treasure it for that special someone, who'll probably think I'm a weirdo anyway for not having lost it yet.

That doesn't mean I'd go to the nearest streetwalker though.

Geez dude, don't do that to yourself.

You know, your first time isn't going to be some earth-shattering, world-changing experience. You're most likely going to walk away saying "so that's it huh?". It'll be fun, it'll feel good but since you've never done it, you're not really going to know what you like or what he/she likes. I "lost my virginity" to someone I cared about but it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things; that was many years ago and we had an acrimonious break-up.

Until you're truly comfortable with yourself and your sexuality, you're only ever going to see it as a check in the box as opposed to the pleasurable and intimate experience it truly is.

I know that at some point I'm gonna have to say 'fuck it' (figuratively speaking) and stop having it hold me back from simply living my life. But the whole "get on it, else you're a loser" message seems to be everywhere, which I wouldn't even mind so much if I knew the bulk of this problem didn't lie with me. Or if I was asexual.

 

[AngloDoom]

Not really.

The lost it to a girl I thought I loved, but in retrospect I was probably more flattered than anything - I'm not sure I even found her that desirable physically, let alone the love of my life.

The sex I've had since then was, depending on the person, more romantic, more meaningful, and felt generally more fun. How many times has your first go at something turned out perfect? You have no other perspective to judge it from.

If your 'first time' was the best sex you've ever had, you're probably doing it wrong.

i say yes, its worth saving because its literally the most personal thing you do with another person. why would you give away something so special away like that? im 24 years old and proudly still a virgin, anyone who says otherwise well, enjoy you're STD's if and when you eventually get them.

A few things;

#1 - It's as personal as you make it. There's even a hint in the name. Even my most romantic and passionate sex I would say was hovering around the same point as when I cried in front of my closest friend in terms of personal impact.

#2 - Would you mind if I ask why you are proud to be a virgin? I mean, unless you don't ever want to have sex in your entire life then surely losing your virginity to someone you want now would be better than later?

#3 - I don't see how waiting any longer to have sex would make me less likely to get an STD - it's not like they expire or anything. That's just a mean stereotype, like suggesting you're just a jealous person with no charisma because you haven't lost your virginity - it'd be unfair and plain stupid to suggest that's the reason when we don't personally know each other.

 

[Callate]

It's worth saving until you're mature enough to make long-term decisions. It's worth saving until you're with someone who cares about you, rather than merely wants to have sex (and until you're with someone you care about, not just wanting to have sex.)

Waiting until marriage I'm far more uneasy about. It seems like a great way to live your life with a lot of unanswered questions, not to mention rolling the dice as far as you and your spouse actually being sexually compatible. There are a lot of shades and flavors of sexuality out there.

 

[Polyg0n]

I'm saving it until I find a girl that I really love, but after I find her I'm not going to wait until marriage.

 

[TehCookie]

I'm saving mine til I fall in love with a guy. He doesn't have to be "the one", but I don't want to look back at my first time and have it be with some random drunk dude at a party. I feel like the poll options are rather black and white.

 

[Quesa]

I believed it was, up until I damaged my relationship with my wife by waiting until we were married. Completely idiotic to put an artificial barrier between you and the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with. She wasn't resentful or angry or anything, our relationship was simply forced down a path that it shouldn't have been and it's impacted the rest of our lives.

Conversely, I'm pretty damned happy I didn't sleep with anyone else, so..

 

[Raggedstar]

I'm a female virgin and I'm in my 20s, though it's less because I value my virginity highly and more because I'm just not sexually interested (I'm asexual)...and I don't like children. Perhaps I'm not the right one to be commenting on this kind of thread.

I honestly don' care about virginity. I mean, it would suck if you lost your virginity in some drunk one-night-stand with some shlub, but what's done is done. The only thing that "sex after marriage" has for an advantage is that if your birth control fails (and it does. I know someone who all 3 kids were conceived through at least one method of birth control at once), you'll have more legal and financial legs to stand on.

But meh, two healthy consenting adults. *shrugs*.

EDIT: After posting I remembered an episode of King of the Hill where Luanne wanted to marry a dude she just met just so God can be AOK with them having sex (and not much else). That actually disturbs me more than sex before marriage.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

Well I don't think it should be given away to just anyone, I think the person should mean something to you. And when I say "mean something to you" I mean something much deeper than mere friendship.

 

[velcrokidneyz]

Just what I want on my wedding night, akward, horrible, terrible sex. Nobody's first time is good, so why not get the feel of it before that and make the night extra special.

EDIT: Also, sexuality is a part of a healthy loving relationship so by waiting you could find that you are very sexually incompatible and be SOL. Yes there are other factors so if you could communicate it could be better but otherwise it would be kind of a downer to have someone who isn't into the same things or just no fun, unless thats ur thing too.

 

[deathzero021]

interesting question. i have no answer. i'm not sure what "waiting" means here. that needs more explaining before i can answer. what's the opposite of waiting? not-waiting? how do you do that? just run out and find somebody to fxxx? i'm not even sure if that's possible. its very difficult to find someone to be with for many teens so... the whole concept doesnt make much sense to me.

p.s. girls don't dig virgins guys most of the time. this is why most teen guys would lie and say they did it before even when they didnt.

figures a christian starts a topic like this. enjoy your boring life
(im just teasing, not trying to offend you xP)

EDIT:
thinking more about this, i'd say that it's important to at least care about the person you are doing it with. that goes for any time you do it, whether it's the first time or the last time. that's my answer. may not be what you were looking for though

 

[bpm195]

If you examine the logic behind it, it's somewhat ridiculous to save gifts for Christmas day, especially when you prepare them far in advance. Why would you hide something away in a closet to gain pleasure after one arbitrary day instead of being ready to give it to them when they ask for it? For example, if got your best friend the Wii U that they're longing for you shouldn't hide it away so that after one prescribed day they can enjoy it. You both could be playing with it right now and having a blast.

There is the matter of anticipation, but depending on Christmas day to generate anticipation doesn't help you get better at giving gifts. It actually stunts your development. If you were giving gifts organically you'd learn how to generate anticipation so you can give it when you want, and you'll be able to read your recipient so you know what to give them and the best time to do it. As an added your partner will be able to read you and give you gifts as you desire them.

 

[Entitled]

I'm generally a very progressive/liberal guy, but I'm surprisingly conservative in that particular issue, in a sentimentalist way.

All this talk about how it is just a biological issue, and about test drives, and compatibility, just makes me incredibly sad.

By the way, does that "compatibility" thing really work that way? As an asexual virgin, I wouldn't know, but I mustly keep hearing about it from A)concerned virgins, B) people who didn't wait themselves.

But outside of soap movies, I didn't ever hear about a case where two people were attracted to each other, intimate in kissing, hugging, etc, both excited about their first time, then months/years later, they were surprised to figure out that they are "not compatible". Just like that.

From the direct records of those who really weren't compatible, it seems to be more of a generic thing for the kind of people who wouldn't touch each other with a 10 foot pole to begin with, not for lovestruck virgin couples.