Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[UltraDeth]

They take offense to your smugness and have you executed.

I wish I could strategize counter-terrorism from my computer.

 

[UltraDeth]

It's all pseudo-science.

I wish I could test weapons on known criminals.

 

[Living_Brain]

Granted. Being prototypes straight out of the 3d printer, it only takes 3 weapons before one explodes in your face.

I wish winter would hold the fuck up for like 20 more days. There's no need to wake up to 36 F in the mornin

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Granted. Due to global warming winter gets delayed and the melting ice caps cause dosents of coastal cities to pemanently sink beneath the waves.

I wish for bread and circuses!

 

[UltraDeth]

You're the guy who makes pies for the clowns.

I wish I won a tournament.

 

[Living_Brain]

You win The International 7. Being such a huge nerd, you're so awkward that you never get laid.

I wish I had real evidence of good things in my future

 

[UltraDeth]

You'll have a great family, which means a pregnant woman will show up unexpectedly one day.

I wish I had my own flagship, space station and colony.

 

[UltraDeth]

Do you know what tears taste like?

I wish great shows didn't outstay their welcome.

 

[Living_Brain]

Granted. They're canceled half-way through the 2nd season

I wish transportation was easier (i.e. teleportation)

 

[UltraDeth]

Some people materialize in the exact same space, causing dimensional pocket rifts, killing instantly.

I wish sleep was just as refreshing as it is in games.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted although now all game logic applies and you are currently overburdened.

I wish my internet was quicker.

 

[UltraDeth]

It knows what you want view before you decide to view it.

I wish solar power was used globally.

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

The shift in power production causes a change in balance of power, which causes mediterranian nations to push their cultural and military influence on the rest of the world.

I wish everybody was at their physical and mental peak.

 

[UltraDeth]

Impossible geniuses with pumped bodies.

I wish all fiction existed in the same universe.

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Impossible geniuses with pumped bodies.

How is that a bad thing? You are supposed to subvert the wish instead of just describing it.

Anyway. The Warp and the Elder gods wage an eternal war, making the universe unsuitable for life.

 

[UltraDeth]

Impossible geniuses with pumped bodies.

How is that a bad thing? You are supposed to subvert the wish instead of just describing it.

I may have misinterpreted your wish. By "peak" I thought you meant "Perfectly balanced", so I turned it into extremes.

OT: You made no wish, so I'll go next.

I wish I was completely self-reliant.

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

You are now a tree, living off photosynthesis and the dew that lands on the soil beneath your roots.

I wish for peace and cooperation between all countries.

 

[UltraDeth]

If that cooperation consists of building walls and not talking to each other.

I wish to be a member of Mensa.