Tyra Banks Fancies Herself the Next J.R.R. Tolkien

Druyn

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May 6, 2010
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thenumberthirteen said:
<spoiler=Epic Facepalm>


Then again it may actually be good. The odds are stacked against her, but it will, at least, sell.
Shit, if Twilight can sell, then I see no problem with this....

Now if youll excuse me, Im going to go throw up.
 

Konijn

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Apr 8, 2010
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KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!

no seriously, if my sisters buy this abomination I WILL BURN IT.
 

Bloodstain

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Jun 20, 2009
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Typo in the headline? It's Tolkien, not Tolkein. But if it's a joke: Nevermind.

OT:

Let me describe my opinion...

[font color=red]NO.[/font]

Seriously, wtf. If this series becomes popular it will be the worst day for literature since the release of the Twilight series.
 

Sammi Costello

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Mar 20, 2010
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Omnific One said:
Please kill me now. Why...???? Tyra Banks writing a novel; that's not happening. More than likely, she will get a ghost writer to do it and put her name on it.
THIS! A THOUSAND TIMES THIS!
 

Cid Silverwing

Paladin of The Light
Jul 27, 2008
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Hubilub said:
I wish for the spirit of Tolkien to take physical form and beat the shit out of you, miss Banks.

And that's me being nice.
This I vouch for.

Also, this is just as unacceptable as the time she had two renegade furries come on her show and take a collective shit on the entire fandom.
 

gibboss28

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Feb 2, 2008
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Seriously, why do so many people care?

Yes, she has ideas above her station but lets be honest, you don't even have to throw a stone to find anyone like this in any industry, be it book, film, music or video game.
 

headphonegirl

The Troll under the bridge
Oct 19, 2009
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Tom Goldman said:
Tyra Banks is getting into the fantasy novel game with a series all about models. Magical models!
This alone made me Burst into tears of laughter.
Honestly what is she thinking? I highly doubt she'll be the next Tolkien.


therandombear said:
No mistake the books going to be crap, but she'll probably ride the Stephanie Meyer wave, poorly written, but written so that pre-teens are able to read it, there are lots of those in the world so she'll earn lots on books. And finally someone will be willing to make a movie out of it so those pre-teens are able to go watch it and make it be one of the fastest selling movies...just saying
I hope it doesn't go that way.
 

Darmort

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Mar 16, 2009
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I don't want to think about this...

I can accept Twilight. I can accept sparkly Vampires to a point. It's still, to some point, fantasy...

This is just an abomination...
 

jvsulliv

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Apr 26, 2010
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Tom Goldman said:
Tyra Banks Fancies Herself the Next J.R.R. Tolkein

Then Tyra reveals that it's all an allegory for her own life.
I'm a big Tolkien fan I have read his books cover to cover foreword included and said foreword coupled with Tyra's comment is exactly the reason. In the foreword to the second [american] edition or The Lord of the rings Tolkien says of his novel(s), "It is neither allegorical nor topical....I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done so since I grew old and wary enough to detect its presence." He further elaborates upon this giving reason and refuting various allegorical meanings people have attributed to his works. In conclusion he states that the only reason for his novels is for pure enjoyment by himself and his audience. perhaps this is my own personal rant, but maybe their is some merit to it, somebody aspiring to be the next tolkien cannot have anything allagorical resoning behind their works, especially not one so personal.
Also if you look at tolkien's work in a larger perspective than simply what he talks about himself, it must be mentioned that tolkien was also an accomplished Linguist and Geofictionist, he created many two Co-languages and built the basis for countless others, as well he created an entire world including the culture, history, cartography, and we may only assume that anyone so thorough musthave even given climate a thought somewhere down the line. to be the next tolkien you can't simply write a popular high-fantasy novel (which I must point out by the sound of it Modelland is not), no to reach any level of Tolkienness in a novel alot of care and forethought must be given prior to writting a novel. But feel free to dismiss this as the rantings of a man that considers tolkien a literary god (because that is what they are).

@ therandombear, et al: though I dislike the idea of her considering herself the next tolkien nothing Tyra can put out will be worse than The Twitard Series.
 

Thedutchjelle

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Mar 31, 2009
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I only read the first page of comments, but I'd hope someone else spotted the typo in the article title. It's not J.R.R. Tolkein, it's Tolkien.

OT: Terrible idea. The world doesn't need an autor this stupid. I don't know this lady, but if she thinks we're to stupid to not know how to pronounce a fucking word I'm not sure how she thinks we can read a whole book. :<
 

DeAvatar

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Mar 27, 2009
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Well frak, if she can write (or ghost write in this case) a crap happy "Modelland" (pronounced "pile of crap") then I might as well throw my hat into the ring.
"Furry Kittens from outer spaceeee!"
 

Sennz0r

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May 25, 2008
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Johnathan Sullivan said:
Tom Goldman said:
Tyra Banks Fancies Herself the Next J.R.R. Tolkein

Then Tyra reveals that it's all an allegory for her own life.
I'm a big Tolkien fan I have read his books cover to cover foreword included and said foreword coupled with Tyra's comment is exactly the reason. In the foreword to the second [american] edition or The Lord of the rings Tolkien says of his novel(s), "It is neither allegorical nor topical....I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done so since I grew old and wary enough to detect its presence." He further elaborates upon this giving reason and refuting various allegorical meanings people have attributed to his works. In conclusion he states that the only reason for his novels is for pure enjoyment by himself and his audience. perhaps this is my own personal rant, but maybe their is some merit to it, somebody aspiring to be the next tolkien cannot have anything allagorical resoning behind their works, especially not one so personal.
Also if you look at tolkien's work in a larger perspective than simply what he talks about himself, it must be mentioned that tolkien was also an accomplished Linguist and Geofictionist, he created many two Co-languages and built the basis for countless others, as well he created an entire world including the culture, history, cartography, and we may only assume that anyone so thorough musthave even given climate a thought somewhere down the line. to be the next tolkien you can't simply write a popular high-fantasy novel (which I must point out by the sound of it Modelland is not), no to reach any level of Tolkienness in a novel alot of care and forethought must be given prior to writting a novel. But feel free to dismiss this as the rantings of a man that considers tolkien a literary god (because that is what they are).

@ therandombear, et al: though I dislike the idea of her considering herself the next tolkien nothing Tyra can put out will be worse than The Twitard Series.
Sir, you only have three posts on these forums but I can already tell we will get along famously.

Though I don't believe Tyra literally said she was going to take a shot at being the next Tolkien (at least I hope the OP's title was only exaggerating), it's still pretty awful what she's trying to do here. Only thing I can hope for now is that this, dare I say it, "book" will never see the light of day, or will be shot down and burned as soon as it peeps out of the vast nothingness that are my worst nightmares.
There's some disgusting stuff out there, but this one takes the cake, and eats it too.
 

Azhrarn-101

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Jul 15, 2008
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Thibaut said:
Bash me all you want, but this will probably be just as popular as Twilight. I'm dead serious.
Unfortunately you are correct. Todays Teens are shallow enough to lap this abomination right up. It'll get made into a movie too, no doubt that'll do well at the box-office, it'll probably kill dozens of filmcritics in the process, but it will sell.

Someone drop a nuke on that person, we need to make sure it doesn't happen. The future of literature as we know it depends on it. What's next, a Sci-Fi novel by Tom Cruise about Xenu???