Tyra Banks Fancies Herself the Next J.R.R. Tolkien

[Robin_Lyon]

When I read the title for this thread I laughed so hard I woke up my girlfriend.


She has work in the morning.

She hit me.


And even then, it was still funny.

 

[The_ModeRazor]

Excuse me...
What the fuck?
Some dumb model writing a book that is obviously gonna rival Twatlight in retardedness and claiming to be a big shot?
That's news I probably didn't want to know.

 

[Brandon237]

What could possibly go wrong?​

*Shrieks of hysterical laughter followed closely by brandon237 falling of his chair*

This women is mad. The problem is that hundreds of impressionable children will read this. Pop culture is a mind-fucker these days. No, really, why? Tyra, If one of my friends reads this book I'll get an American court hearing and sue you for the bail it would take to get me outta prison for the murder I would commit on said friend.

 

[Dragunai]

Its safe to say from the sheer rage being felt on the 9 pages of this thread that there is going to be a huge uproar in the world when this hits the shelves and not a positive one.

I agree with my fellow XY chromosomes and say that what men find attractive here in the REAL WORLD and what is defined as attractive by hollywood / fashion has shifted drastically in the past 20yrs or 30yrs. Kiera Knightly for example is so skinny that I feel if I was to make love to her I fear I would break her and not in the manly "Yeh I would break her" content but in the "Oh god I hope that cracking sound was my knee" context.

Models should be seen and not read! they should be kept in their boxes and have cocain and diet pills pushed into it through small breathing holes until they are needed again for some other pretenious fashion shoot for clothes so whacked out no one will actually buy them but the designer will be hailed as a genius anyway.

I hate it when the world stops making sense in a way that I as a rather eccentric dude cannot fathom. Then again if its to do with clothing and models I dont think I want to.

 

[Rect Pola]

I get one should "write what they know" but she's got to know something else besides the magic of being a model.

 

[Dragunai]

models and magic dont mix, in real world terms a magician is a highly refined artist in fantasy world they are typically scholars and eldars or wise people.

She is none of the above.

 

[Plurralbles]

Tyra fancies herself a psychologist, an effective show host, a hot model, and finally, an author?

Will this woman ever realize that SHE HAS NO TALENT whatsover?

 

[ARatherHandsomeGent]

So many trees will die pointlessly

 

[SomethingUnrelated]

She wants to be the next J.R.R Tolkien... with this shite?

Piss off.

 

[Darkenwrath]

Dman that's so bad I think I actually got stupider just from reading the article...

 

[Uncompetative]

If Tyra really wants to be the next Tolkien she could do worse than use Sango creole as her 'invented' language (rather than Elvish):

http://sangolex.com/

 

[orangebandguy]

I really don't like Tyra Banks.

I was shown America's Top Model and I have to say it's not that far off being a concentration camp. That show is brutal, reducing people to tears and she makes a living out of it.

Tyra Banks Fancies Herself the Next J.R.R. Tolkein


shenanigans

You used my favourite word. Thankyou.

 

[2xDouble]

(hear me out here)You know... there might actually be a story here. if you take out everything "Tyra Banks" out of the story, there's nothing wrong with a feminine fantasy hero.

I don't see why it has to be so "girly-fied" though, doesn't Tyra believe women can have awesome fantasy adventures like Lord of the Rings? or does she think women have to be all about the "pretty things", going to Modelland (mo-dell-end, screw you Tyra!) to become the most beautiful wizard of them all, and become (like Tyra) a drunken whore *ahem* "Intoxibella"... (or, like any smart teenage girls should know, AVOID doing that) *side note*Actually i think she was going for "intoxicating beauty", instead of intoxicated. But who would such a woman intoxicate? other women? maybe one type would, but no... I thought she was a feminist. */side note* As Tyra continues to pretend to believe, women can be strong, heroic, and (if she has time) beautiful. This garbage will probably sell because there's a starving market, just like Twilight (thanks, MovieBob [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/moviebob/6797-Twilight-of-the-She-Geeks]). It makes me sad for women, that they have to eat up such trash because that's all there is.

 

[Zalvidor]

What kind of person wants to read about vain, vapid, arrogant asshats who think that their profession actually has some kind of mysticism and requires some philosophy and sophistication

*quote reduced*

actually that sounds alot like some of Shakespeare's characters I can see what she going for

but I agree, about .1% chance of this being any good. (what can I say? I'm an optimist) Though I am kinda interested in how men are treated in Modelland (the same way I'm interested the in train wrecks)

and intoxibella, intoxicated and beauty... am I the only one who thinks this is a thinly veiled diet pill/bulemia advertisement? though ultimately Goldman will probably be right.

 

[Berithil]

What has this world come to??
I thought that twilight was the end all-be all of horrible lit.
How I was wrong.
Anyways, shame on anyone who would buy this. I don't have to be a genious to know that its
going to be crap. I'm scared to think of what fanbase this might attract.

Somewhere, in England, Tolkien is rolling in his grave.

 

[mayney93]

KILL IT WITH FIRE, OR NUKE IT FROM ORBIT!

 

[Danpascooch]

(about as inspired a name as "unobtanium")?

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Unobtainium

I often get the strange feeling I'm the only person who got that joke when watching Avatar.

I bet you were one of a small number who got the joke, to the rest of us, it made the writers look like a bunch of idiots, not worth it to put in the movie for the 1% of the people who got it.

 

[Danpascooch]

I've always known Tyra Banks was F--king crazy, here's the solid proof.

She's trying to rip off a children's book series with a story about MODELS? Why would every girl want to go to "Modelland" (about as inspired a name as "unobtanium")? What happens there? Vomiting after meals, surgery, and getting raped would be my best guess.

This man is the sole harbinger of truth in this thread. He deserves a virginal sacrifice for blessing me with several hearty chuckles.

In all seriousness though, matching Tolkien, Eddings or even Paolini is far out of this brainless deadbeats reach; hell I could write better than the crap she's dreaming up.

YAY! +100 points for mentioning Paolini in the same sentence as Tolkien, god I love his books.

The Eragon movie though, ugh, is there any more room in the crater they put all the ET games?

 

[Sixties Spidey]

God. First Twilight, now this shit!?