Tyra Banks Fancies Herself the Next J.R.R. Tolkien

[MercurySteam]

I can do better:

This situation requires nothing less.

 

[SloLynx]

What?? A book about fashion and teenage girls being as good as Tolkien's masterpice? Tolkien spent his WHOLE LIFE making the middle-earth, he made maps and even a new language with it's own rules!! Now this extreme optimist (and I mean EXTREME) thinks she'll do all that in a few years just beacuse she decided to? This makes me want to kill something (or someONE for that matter).

 

[AnneSQF]

Wha... but... My brain = divided by zero.

 

[DoctorObviously]

Bash me all you want, but this will probably be just as popular as Twilight. I'm dead serious.

Unfortunately you are correct. Todays Teens are shallow enough to lap this abomination right up. It'll get made into a movie too, no doubt that'll do well at the box-office, it'll probably kill dozens of filmcritics in the process, but it will sell.

Someone drop a nuke on that person, we need to make sure it doesn't happen. The future of literature as we know it depends on it. What's next, a Sci-Fi novel by Tom Cruise about Xenu???

I mean, fuck, forget about the effort of Chris Nolan in The Dark Knight or the mere patience from Peter Jackson in the LOTR movies. Twilight, Modelland, the last two Harry Potter movies: these movies are the future of good filmmaking.

 

[danielsharpe1634]

But..? I... Um, what? Ow...

Error 404: This brain has performed an illegal operation and must be shut down.

C:/Users/Daniel/Files

_reboot

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Error 404: This brain has performed an illegal operation and must be shut down.

 

[BlueInkAlchemist]

It sounds more like she wants to be the next Stephenie Meyer than anything else.

 

[undeadfly]

Hooray, one more thing to hide from my daughter and hope she never discovers.

 

[archvile93]

Okay, let's pretend for a second that this isn't a completely retarded premise for a fantasy novel (which it is, I cannot stress that enough) so we can focus on another problem. She's a moron, I doubt she would know good writing if it bit her in the ass, so even if the pemise was solid it would still be terrible. That said, I'm going to treat this upcoming triligy the same way my country treated Russia between 1917 and 1933.

 

[Ekonk]

Oh please god let me die.

 

[Queen Michael]

I don't want to think about this...

I can accept Twilight. I can accept sparkly Vampires to a point. It's still, to some point, fantasy...

This is just an abomination...

I'm sorry, but although you're preaching the truth calling this an abomination, I insist that skarpkly vampires cannot be accepted, ever. But yes, this is an abomination. (Sad thing is, there's bound to be at least one mom out there who actually buys this thinking it'll be a good book for her daughter.

 

[Eremiel]

(about as inspired a name as "unobtanium")?

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Unobtainium

I often get the strange feeling I'm the only person who got that joke when watching Avatar.

 

[Therumancer]

HUGE yet interesting snip

I couldn't have said it better, but also I do not think it will make, say, change how the way, say, girls see the world.
I normally see models as an icon for consumption, or at least that is how my family see's it, and I do not see how it could even get published.

Anyway, I liked the link you gave, I found it quite funny. Was the game even real? I wouldn't even want to look at it.

Also, are you a real writer? I mean, one that has published books? It's because I have always wanted to write a book, but never could get a proper introduction, although some people claim that the concepts are actually quite interesting, though they need to be developed a little bit more.

The game is real, as are the other games mentioned on Something Awful's "MMO Roulette" which was sort of the point of the feature. The guy who used to do it more or less retired though so they haven't had a new entry in close to 2 years. Kind of sad since it was VERY funny.

As far as being an author, I am not. Simply put I do not have the english skills to pull it off. As you noticed I turn out these huge walls of text, and sometimes I'm borderline incoherant. I have been unable to correct it.

 

[Jaranja]

What could possibly go wrong?​

Why did you put a .gif of the Exorcist on this thre- OH FUCK!

 

[Jared]

Well. If that is what she sees herself as then goodluck. She will need it if she wants to be great like Him. Lots of effort!

 

[GonzoGamer]

Basically, Tyra Banks wants to write the next Lord of the Rings. More specifically, the next Harry Potter,

You mean Twilight

 

[Tartarga]

I'm scared...