Tyra Banks Fancies Herself the Next J.R.R. Tolkien

[Niracas]

Dear lord, what has science done!?

Note I have no problems with a female heroin, but I think this is why there arent um.. alot. Everytime I see something aimed at teenagers with some girl saving the world whether it be Spies, Warriors, or blah blah blah etc, it's always so terrible. When I think of a female hero I usually think of the Alien movies and honestly thats all I can come up with, well maybe Terminator too. Everything else seems to be so.. bad. I really dont care about the gender of the hero in my movies/games/books. Theres just no real reason to make it so stupid I guess im trying to say. You want to make a book for girls to show they're just as good as boys? Great, thats totally fine by me. How do you want to show them that? By telling them to go to The Land of Noone Gives a Shit and make them Models? I get the feeling there will be alot more girls with eating disorders soon.

/end rant

 

[brodie21]

this is proof that the world will end. when is it coming out? December 2012?

 

[Melion]

Dear lord, I'll have to buy a flamethrower when this book gets released.

 

[brodie21]

What could possibly go wrong?​

my god, that is like something that escaped from a german genetics lab while a white haired doctor with a mustache screamed "Scheisse! Es ist los! NEIN! NEIN! NEIIIIIINNNNNN!!!!!"

 

[sheogoraththemad]

the only reply to this is: HA, tolkien can't be beaten you ignorant fool!

 

[ark123]

AHAHAHAHAHAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
AHAHAHAHAAHA
YOU GUYS I'M DYING AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA
OH MY GOD AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH
*tears*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
...
.....
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA IT GOT FUNNY AGAIN AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

 

[Death_Korps_Kommissar]

-Slowly loads shotgun-
Imma ready for the zombies.

 

[Macgyvercas]

*Laughs hysterically*

No.

Just no. No one can match J.R.R. Tolkien for fantasy. Especially not Banks. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go tear something apart.

 

[Formica Archonis]

So, one thing I don't understand. Why's the title unfinished? I mean, I pronounced it "Mo, Dell, and" like it's obviously pronounced and now I don't know how the title ends!

Mo, Dell, and Curly?

Mo, Dell, and the Chamber of Secrets?

Mo, Dell, and the Silurians?

Mo, Dell, and and the Attack of the the Eye Creatures?

Someone help me here! Mo, Dell and WHO?

 

[polarizebeta]

Don't you hate dolphins too?

 

[Julianking93]

Must...control...rage....

Seriously though, what the fuck???

 

[Baldry]

AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHHAAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAHHAA...Phew ok*pants* let me, catch my breath...

Ok umm WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!
Two things She knows how to read and write?! And this isn't illegal?!

Ahhh mind Fuck

 

[Truly-A-Lie]

In the words of Nathan Fillion - That is some fucked up shit.

 

[crouchingtigress01]

*Laughing* That is such a funny joke, my sides feel like they?re going to bust... what? This isn't a joke? Oh snap.

Joking aside, Tyra banks appears to be a real nut ball (I mean, who is afraid of dolphins?) which may be ironic because this is the same woman who has made genius money making deals in the past, but you know if she follows through with her dream it?s going to get good praise from her greatest critic (herself) and become a best seller

 

[Berithil]

Anyone who tries to best Tolkien in the area of fantasy literature is a complete fool.
I will lose complete faith in the human race if this becomes a top seller.
We can all thank SMeyer for encouraging people who obviously shouldn't write to become authors


Models + magicland = complete epic fail

 

[Formica Archonis]

*Laughing* That is such a funny joke, my sides feel like they?re going to bust... what? This isn't a joke? Oh snap.

Joking aside, Tyra banks appears to be a real nut ball (I mean, who is afraid of dolphins?)

Really, of all the things she's done, that's the thing I'll cut her the most slack for. Dolphins are like any wild animal - they can be mean SOBs if they want.

 

[The DSM]

...There is nothing anyone can say that wont make this an hilarious failure.

Its going to fail HARD.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

What could possibly go wrong?​

That GIF disgusts me to my very core and makes me feel uneasy. o.o

 

[IrrelevantTangent]

Obligatory TVTropes link:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SnarkBait

I was thinking something along the lines of http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WishFulfillment, but that works too. Jesus, this woman is crazy. Celebrities writing non-memoir books doesn't bother me- Hugh Laurie did it successfully with a fiction novel, as I recall- but most people that try this aren't batshit crazy to begin with.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Modelland ... Right next to Copland or what? >_> Oh my lord, what a hoax.

Let's just hope it's Zombieland next door.

Oh wait, shuffling twigs moaning...it is ZombieLand, sans Bill Murray.