Tyra Banks Fancies Herself the Next J.R.R. Tolkien

GrinningManiac

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Jun 11, 2009
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This is the woman that once screamed at one of her contestents for not crying when she lost the modelling contest on TV. Apparantly the lack of waterworks signified, in Banks' eyes, that the girl didn't care enough about winning the show. The girl, who was from a rough, poor background, stated that she was "tired of getting upset over things I cannot change". Tyra responds with lots of screaming, lots of "how dare you" crap and more exposition where she aggrandises her own backstory.

As Charlie Brooker said: "She was shouting at a girl for having a working sense of proportion"

OT: I enjoy the fact that I am younger than this woman. It means one day I will be alive (barring an accident) and she won't.

Also, I think the quality of the writing doubles already if you pronounce it "Modullun" because then it's clearly about models, but sounds mythica...wait, I'm actually HELPING her? God Knows she won't find this, though. I doubt she can understand things like the Internet (pronounced Internet)

The more I look at her, two things happen

1.She slowly starts to look more and more like a Bethedsa Studios NPC - Dead behind the eyes and overly shiny

2. My urge to punch things increases exponentially
 

The Stonker

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Feb 26, 2009
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Oh holy crap these people think they can be good writers?
Okay about one thing there are alot of writers that are fucked up in the head Pratchett is probably a very intelligent man but I doubt that he is just a normal bloke.
Now I want Oscar Wilde,H.P.Lovecraft and shakespear to make the super best friends league and burn the world of all the horrible writers :D
Because this woman thinks that models are good role models for little girls well I can see maybe the bigger types if you know what I mean you know to be proud of who you are but really models I think inspire girls to be way to paranoid about their bodies and therefor make them into miserable women in the future who will have issues.
Now I like my woman in their normal weight limit I do not like on the other hand a 50kg skeleton who smokes pot (pun intended)
Because these people are so high and mighty of them selves what happened to the good old days? When writers had to WORK FOR THEIR WRITINGS? Because Oscar Wilde just kicks all of these teenage writers in the ass combined multiplied by 5000x.
I'm offended because I love then I mean love books. All kinds of books but not this Twilight,Harry Poopter books they are all generic formula based crap on my opinion.
 

That One Six

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Dec 14, 2008
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Ok... My guns cases are packed, my ammo supplies are full, blades sharpened, and armor polished. I must prevent this from ever, EVER reaching the shelves.

Who's with me?

Whoever is, we march at dawn!
 

Sabrina Devonic

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Apr 1, 2010
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Just wow, this has got to be one of the stupidest things I have read in a long time. So she is ripping off Harry Potter and replacing it with models?

I can see it now, a land of malnourished beings whose bigotry rules all over the land. Young girls flock to the land by the thousands only to be subject to the harsh words of Simon Cowell impersonaters. Condo's litter the landscape destroying the natural habitat that was once there. In short Tyra banks is an idiot for even trying this.
 

MetalGenocide

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Dec 2, 2009
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Now I understand why Hitler ordered the burning of books. He had a dream about the day this comes out and took questionably, relatively, logical, albeit misguided in his confusion, action. In his own time unfortunately. The poor guy was so shocked, he didn't leave a message of warning for the future.

On a related note, Twilight somehow never looked so original, well written and ........reasonable.

Oh and my I.Q. was halved. I hope not permanently.

"Warning! Loss of gray matter eminent!" is appropriate with the title.

And now I stop, because the temporal brain damage will cause me to write continuous nonsense.
Apologies are in order, just in case.
 

Coldman42

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Nov 17, 2009
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Just read the thread. Now my head hurts. Ouch...

It's gonna take a lot of booze to forget this one...

Also, taking a shot in the dark here, but i believe that a lot of teenage girls are going to kill themselves because of this...
 

Crimsonshadow66

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Sep 20, 2009
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I dont even know where to start or end. Good luck stupid *****? Nobody will EVER be Tolkien because she isnt writing something original or even decent sounding. All in all I hope to see her fail epicly.
 

Sir Bob

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Jan 14, 2010
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"The trilogy will follow a teenage girl and her teenage friends that get transported to Modelland ("Model Land") even though they're not supposed to be there."

Not supposed to be there = are fucking ugly? Magical makeovers with rainbows and unicorns? A super magical place where burgers and french fries are only 1 calorie?

Seems legit /nod
 

The Ruiner

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Aug 18, 2008
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I still remember back when I first saw Higher Learning as a child in the early 90s with a friend it gave him a crush on Tyra Banks. I now realize that part of the reason was her aura of genius, creativity, and potential in the Fantasy genre. I bet if Tolkien was still around he would bow in admiration to "Modelland", and admit its' superiority over Middle Earth.I'm sure I'm not the only one who has been constantly thinking kids need more stories set around a superficial, disgusting, and ignorant industry! The best part is now parents will not have to explain the beauty of Bulimia since Tyra can do it for them! Hopefully she also stresses how helpful a strong Cocaine habit is when it comes to shedding unwanted weight.
 

Guitarmasterx7

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Mar 16, 2009
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My big question is who the hell would read that?
I mean ok, maybe some people might for the same reason one would watch sci-fi channel B movies for the whole "so bad it's funny" factor, but the thought that somebody would be disgustingly stupid enough to read that seriously just blows my mind