"Wait, how is that offensive?!"

[Mischa87]

With respect, I don't think that knowing one Englishman and someone who has been to England makes you an authority. Chiming in to say that the first guy is right, it's a product of the generation. I haven't heard "poof" for a while, actually.

Nowhere did I claim to be an authority on it, in all honesty, reading my sister's university-level linguistics book probably did me better than the examples I gave.

But, I've been close friends with far more English people than that (The over five years I've spent as an LGBT support group facilitator, both online and off has given me plenty of examples of people of all sorts of cultures) This was particularly useful in this situation as there were a disproportionately high percentage of transsexuals I've treated from the UK. So I've interacted with more than a few of you from across the pond as it were.

And honestly, I hear "poof" a few times a week, mostly from my ex boyfriend's father calling him one for not liking Call of Duty and the like... And from some TV clips I get sent to me occasionally from him as well. (I love An idiot abroad by the way, even if he does perpetuate almost all the negative English stereotypes)

 

[Ris]

Something I think that shows how it can be overreacted to, when a few years back Cheryl Cole (short lived X factor US judge, and pointless clothes horse) ,while in a nightclub, punched a female bathroom attendant in the face, and called her a black *****.

What got me was that the violent assault was a mere byline, the fact that she called her a BLACK ***** becoming a far more abhorrent crime than punching an innocent woman in the face.

Again, black, not ******, darkie, coon, wog, or anything else, just the usually used description of someone with dark skin. I know using black combined with an insult carries a certain racial weight, but it's still not the same as '******' etc.

How can that be right?

No I don't know any black people, and I'm not gonna pretend 'well, some of my best friends are black', but I'm going to guess most black people would take a single verbal piece of racial abuse over a punch in the face?

Because it's completely unnecessary to point out someone's skin colour before you punch them. By pointing it out it suggested Cheryl felt it was a subject worth mocking. If she had called her a "fat *****" or a "spotty *****" she'd be mocking that woman's weight or complexion. Instead she decided that her skin colour was a suitable insult. Only racists think skin colour is an insult.

I suppose the press made a meal of it because lots of celebrities are violent and like to hit staff and journalists for no reason, that's old news. But Racism too? JACKPOT.

 

[SenseOfTumour]

I would however stand up for the offended here, yeah, look at my username and be surprised I'd take that angle.

Now I think it's tiresome that we have to be so careful, in the case of people being offended 'on behalf of' other people.

Yet, surely it's got to be a good thing that some racial, sexual and other discriminatory words and phrases are becoming unacceptable?

As Stewart Lee said in defence of PC, back in the 70s the conservative party's leaflets read 'if you want a ****** for a neighbour, vote liberal or labour', and if anythings moved on, at least they now have to pretend they're not racist.

I grew up seeing NF (National Front, a skinhead racist organisation) graffiti all over town and 'WOGS OUT' sprayed over the shutters of my local store, just because indians were running it.

30 years on and it's just not seen, sure there's a lot of racism around, but in most of society, it's not acceptable to hate on people for colour, race, gender or sexuality.

Everyone has some idea of what's offensive, and to who. All that's needed is for people to consider who is their audience when they speak. I'll say the most reprehensible things when in the company of my best mate, it's almost a game to see who can be the most offensive, but we'd never say such things in polite company, yet 'cor, look at the tits on that 3 year old' is perfectly acceptable between us, as we understand the concept of shock humour.

In short, a stand up doing offensive material to paying customers is fine, a newspaper then reprinting that material to show a large group of people who would never have seen it, just so they can be all offended about how he'd say such things, is the work of a ****. or to be really offensive, a Daily Mail journalist.

In short tho, Wil Hodgson, a gay stand up over here said something smart I thought - "Gay people provide one of the most valuable services in society. They piss off complete dickheads for a living, and for that we have to salute them."

 

[erto101]

I'm not sure why people find curse words offensive, because haven't we been taught as kids that "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."?

My school went with "Words are tools, and like all tools they can hurt."

Anyway, people would find me VERY hard to offend, but on the other hand I'm very careful not to offend anyone. My mother thought me not to offend, and my father don't really give a shit, so I turned out like a combination.

 

[Mischa87]

Given your conduct in this thread it may seem those hatecrimes may be more a product of you being an insufferable arugmentative human being rather than anything else.

And i apologise for using the offhand term from groups of homosexuals, you must be so hurt. I know im absolutely distraught when some groups me in with the term men.

And where did i subscribe to homophobia. Not being wanted to be forced to partake = homophobia to you. I don't go around thinking this will happen i just don't wish them to.

And yeah its easy to say i get insulted all the time and don't make a big deal, and heres why, "IT DOESN'T MATTER", dicks will be dicks, by reacting to them your only in turn hurting yourself.

People can choose to get offended. And MOST of the time the only end result of that choice is a pain in the ass for everyone around them. So again i apologise for caring more about the collective than the individual. In your world i should just cause a fuss everytime everyone says a mean word.

And yeah its easy to say i get insulted all the time...

...People can choose to get offended

Haha... oh this is too good. Not only are you entirely unable to even keep up with what I'm saying, but you're either a raving lunatic, or a total hypocrite.

the only end result of that choice is a pain in the ass for everyone around them.

Really? Heh, you know homophobes are becoming the minority, right? So your bigoted tongue is actually offending more people than you think.

i apologise for caring more about the collective than the individual.

What? So the over 10% of the population that's queer, plus the straight people who actually give a damn aren't a collective? I think what you meant to say was "I have no problem using my own narrow view on the word as justification for my offensive nature"

But yeah, really, don't bother replying to this, you can't even keep up with what I'm saying, I didn't even address all points where you failed to grasp what I was saying contained in your post, because it felt like I was grading a grade 2's story or something...

It's a good laugh for me and my friends though, I suppose that's something.

 

[Herr Uhl]

If you follow the Jewish religion or you are born to Jewish parents you aren't a Jew, you are Jewish. (Unless you call your Canadian friends Cans and your American friends Amers)

You do however call Swedish and Finnish people Swedes and Finns.

 

[MorganL4]

EDIT: Thanks to the folks who replied to this post. I guess what I really don't get is why it's offensive to say someone has a choice in the matter rather than saying they're a slave to genetics/upbringing/whatever. Using the 'choice' argument as an excuse for persecution is disgusting, but it's also bullshit. At the same time, I think it's fair to say there are certain people who just like being gay better than being straight, so I think we can all agree that everyone should just mind their own damn business.

I personally am not gay, but have a number of gay friends, and we have talked about this issue. Based on this post I'm going to assume you are straight. If I were to ask you did you choose to start finding girls attractive when you hit 12-13 years old you would probably tell me no. It just magically happened as a result of this weird thing we all experience called puberty. Arguing that gay people choose to be gay, is basically saying...... "I know you are attracted to the opposite sex because everyone is.... Thus you are just thumbing your nose at the rest of us in an attempt to be different and push away from the status quo." It is the mentality of "You are gay because you don't like me." A gay persons sexual preference has nothing to do with ANYONE but themselves (and maybe the person they are attracted to.)

It really is that simple, people who say that gay is a choice are arguing that THEY are the reason someone else is gay (whether they realize it or not), which is ludicrous.

 

[rammst13n]

i will never understand why kids need to disrespect teachers by talking out in class, such a dumb highschool attention seeking thing and its flat out disrespectful to people who are only trying to educate the students, teachers deserve respect, im not a goody-two-shoes either, im a bit of a lazy stoner type, but even so i have the respect to treat them as i would any other person who hasnt wronged me

 

[krazykidd]

snip

double snip

TLR having a black friend , lover or parent doesn't excuse saying racist things

Well saying black person is racist? Admitting black is a racist term would to be the consideration of the colour itself to be racist.

For example if i say "That black man who is cousin of that person", do you feel that the phrase is racist in any term?

Well , it really weird in the sense that i personally dislike being called "the black guy " it's as if me being black was weird . Actually have rarely heard someone say "the white dude " or "the yellow chick" to discribe a person .

The phrase isn't "racist" i would never call someone racist for that , but i think it's something people shouldn't say to describe someone as if the only characteristic i have is that i'm black . It's like saying , " the fat man" or "the gay guy".

I know i'm not very clear in my explanation , or maybe it's just me . I apologize for that.

 

[Petromir]

There is the issue that alot of offensive slurs, especially single word ones have other meanings to the one that is offensive, or even the meaning of the word isnt offensive in itsself, and just the way it's used is.

In many cases in spoken speech its the delivery of the word as well as its context that matters, if you spit the word then its much more likely that you are being offensive. This of course means that many languages especially those that place alot on pronciation and other verbal indicators to add meaning, make relitively tricky languages to communicate in when using text

I'd quite like it to become accpeted that its possible to have slang words for people and ethnic groups etc that arent offensive unless used in that way.

If somethings relevant to the description of someone then by all means use it, avoid the emotive words where possible and try and make it clear in your delivery that you attach no predjudice in your usage.

Acknolodging differences is fine, its taking differences that mean nothing into account is where things start to get difficult.

If I'm casting a play then things like gender and race may well be important, a black women after all is unlikely to make a beleiviable Richard the Lionheart, and a white person would be just downright offensive as Martin Luther King, but if I'm recruiting for a camera opperator race and gender except in exceptional circumstances arent going to be an issue (and while I can think of reasonable grounds to restrict the sex of a camera opperator, say filming in single sex enviroments, I've yet to think one up for race).

 

[dancinginfernal]

Well, not something that is said, but rather what one does:

Wearing Hats inside. I know why it used to be offensive, but it STILL being offensive is just absolutely stupid.

Actually WHY did it used to be offensive? I know why it used to be offensive NOT to wear a hat at all times (everyone was infested with buggies) but the don't wear a hat inside always struck me as odd.

I was taught that wearing hats indoors was disrespectful. I never understood it either until I asked my father about it one day as a child.

As I recall, removing your hat when you enter a building was a showing of respect for the building and the owner of it. You're showing that you realize that you are the guest in the building and that the owner deserves respect because of it. I assume it's similar fashion to removing your shoes in some Eastern cultures.

 

[crop52]

The garbage-lady in the new Deus Ex.

So she's got a certain way of talking, and just happens to be black. Who cares?

 

[TitanAtlas]

snip

double snip

TLR having a black friend , lover or parent doesn't excuse saying racist things

Well saying black person is racist? Admitting black is a racist term would to be the consideration of the colour itself to be racist.

For example if i say "That black man who is cousin of that person", do you feel that the phrase is racist in any term?

Well , it really weird in the sense that i personally dislike being called "the black guy " it's as if me being black was weird . Actually have rarely heard someone say "the white dude " or "the yellow chick" to discribe a person .

The phrase isn't "racist" i would never call someone racist for that , but i think it's something people shouldn't say to describe someone as if the only characteristic i have is that i'm black . It's like saying , " the fat man" or "the gay guy".

I know i'm not very clear in my explanation , or maybe it's just me . I apologize for that.

So the adjective itself is unnecessary, thus it becomes kind of offensive... i think i got it...

 

[Snotnarok]

I agree with your statements on the gay thing, if someone is gay? Go fuck yourself it doesn't involve you so leave their sexuality out of it. I don't get why politics ever got into the sexuality thing but you know I guess they just want votes.

I'm not even Gay and I get annoyed by what they put up with, the things I see I just facepalm over and I'm like "WHY Do they care?!". My cousin is gay as can be, I mean the lampshades are in danger of catching fire(joking here people), he's funny, awesome and a great person. Does being gay change any of that? No, but he does dress more fashionably than I do.

 

[Rin Little]

I've become desensitized to most sayings and words. Honestly if you let words bother you, then you're done for. People are going to be callous and you getting upset about them saying it is giving them exactly what they want. I'm bi and I don't give two shits if someone says "dyke" or "fag" or whatever because it doesn't matter! It's only a problem if you let it bother you.

 

[doggie135]

I was talking with my mother at one time recently, and managed to joke with her about the Battlefield 3 "rat-stabbing" controversy PeTA lobbied. Or at least I tried to. Turns out, she found the scene abhorrent, despite my justification of context, and said they had every right to protest against fictional violence. She also noted that it could lead to desensitization. I reprimanded her, noting that context derives emotions of sensitive nature, rather than removing them entirely, and that the argument she proposed was unstable.

Here's the example: She says "Well then, would you permit a child being raped in a play?" to which I replied "Of course. It's narrative strength, and, application-wise, potential have the potential to be emotionally far-reaching and compelling".

Are you disturbed or offended by the idea of a child-character in a play being raped (if no laws were broken, of course)?


(And yes, I realize how much of this is meaningless exposition)

 

[BabyRaptor]

There are a lot of things that people get up in arms about that I never understood.

EDIT: Thanks to the folks who replied to this post. I guess what I really don't get is why it's offensive to say someone has a choice in the matter rather than saying they're a slave to genetics/upbringing/whatever.

Because the fact that it's a choice is a lie. It's been proven, and the evidence is accessible to anyone with Google.

Further, people use that lie to try and demonize non-heterosexuals, and to deprive them of rights.

we do have some facts to indicate that there may be more bisexuality out there than is acknowledged which would indicate some choice of action.

Um, a person being Bisexual doesn't mean they chose their sexuality. It means that they attracted to either set of plumbing. I'm not seeing how you drew that equivalency.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

snip

I too dont care if one decides to be gay rather than straight. What does get annoying, is that people claim being gay is derived from your DNA. Sexual preference, or what turns one on is not determined by their genes, but rather their Mentality and personal preferences.

OT: I don't understand why African Americans feel that they must absolutely have an entire month devoted to their history. We go over it during the proper section of all of our history courses.

you do realize that personality/mentality is influenced by biology right? People are not wrong to bring up genetics when talking about sexuality.

 

[Generalzdave]

I rarely get offended by anything thrown my way, except extreme anti-Americanism. I'll buy that a lot of us are racist, fat, lazy, stupid, and ignorant, or at least the ones among us that get on television. Past that, and I think you're an instigator who has gone too long without being kicked in the teeth; Believe me, I'll gladly catch you up.

Anything else doesn't get to me. I like being called a cracker, a honky, a white boy, a vampire, or anything else, because each of those names is hilarious and they never understand why I can't stop laughing. I understand that if I try to return the love in an equally hateful manner, I'm a backward redneck. I guess Whitey still has some years to pay back, even if none of it was my own fault. I'll agree to that, if only because it's a fight I won't be able to win. I will also tolerate feminists, as long as they're actually trying to reach equality.

I do, however, like people to whom I can make jokes at, jokingly, and they laugh and respond with another one. I hang around such a diverse group of people that it provides hours of conversation and fun. You can find almost any heritage, ethnicity, or background in our group, and everyone can laugh and have a good time. That, to me, is tolerance, rather than getting hung up on a minor crack about credit scores or mayonnaise made by someone who shows you respect at all other times.

 

[retyopy]

I don't understand why classifying people as "black" or "white" is considered offensive. I'm black, you're white. Just a physical characteristic, and its true, so why can't we all just black and white and go get ice cream?

Mmm. Ice cream. Do you want ice cream? I do. Lets go get ice cream.

Yum.