Welcome to Sburb! (Dead and Over)

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Analyze map

You really should have seen all this PUZZLE SHIT coming. Of course, that doesn't mean you are any more or less capable of solving it. Still waving like a fucking CHUMP for the TROLL to contact you, you try your best to solve your map. So far it's appeared that BLAZING AHEAD LIKE A TRUE MAN has been more or less impossible. You can't even really figure out where you are on this MAP. The CONFUSION of its unorthodox style has been screwing with your head too. It all seems too... simple.

Oh look it's the TROLL.

Spoiler: Show pesterlog

[02:21] -- equilibricConcilate [EC] began pestering stabsSalesman [SS] at 14:21 --
[02:21] EC: \/ your waving is entrancing
[02:21] SS: =]=> Damn right it is
[02:22] SS: =]=> I am like the pesterchum lighthouse
[02:22] SS: =]=> Dragging chumps through the night with my entrancing waving motions
[02:22] EC: \/ sure
[02:22] SS: =]=> So I take it you're this Letage Chas has told me so little about
[02:23] EC: \/ yes i am
[02:23] EC: \/ sorry for not contacting you earlier but i do not like to talk to the time players
[02:23] SS: =]=> Well why is that seems like so far you've only met one
[02:23] EC: \/ UA is a time player as well you must have talked to him
[02:24] SS: =]=> Exactly that's who I was just referring to
[02:24] EC: \/ he has given me more than enough reasons not to trust a time player
[02:24] SS: =]=> Well if it makes you feel better he doesn't seem all that fond of you either
[02:25] SS: =]=> In fact it sounds like he really hates you
[02:25] EC: \/ he doesnt really hate me
[02:25] EC: \/ but was there a reason you were waving like a lighthouse
[02:26] SS: =]=> There's a few actually
[02:26] SS: =]=> First of all how are you with dungeoneering
[02:26] EC: \/ you mean getting through dungeons
[02:26] SS: =]=> Yeah that
[02:27] EC: \/ none equal my skill in that - i used to do it back before playing sgrub
[02:27] EC: \/ almost daily
[02:27] SS: =]=> I'm gonna be the perfect gentleman and not even mention you spelled sburb completely wrong and instead move onto the question of how you accomplished that
[02:28] SS: =]=> Back on Earth dungeons weren't the sort of thing you ran across every day
[02:29] EC: \/ my home had dungeons littered across it like bodies across a battlefield
[02:29] EC: \/ and where there were none we made them ourselves
[02:29] SS: =]=> That is both highly intriguing and mildly unsettling
[02:29] EC: \/ quite
[02:30] EC: \/ is there a reason for this line of questioning
[02:30] SS: =]=> So the reason I asked is what the hell is going on with this dungeon I am in
[02:30] EC: \/ what of it
[02:30] SS: =]=> Puzzles except they're not chests with no traps and I swear to jegus some giant boss creature appeared in front of me
[02:30] SS: =]=> Except there wasn't
[02:30] SS: =]=> I was about to flip my shit and fight back and then it was gone
[02:31] SS: =]=> I'm not even sure I didn't just imagine it
[02:31] SS: =]=> This place is screwing with my mind and if you've got a shortcut I could use it
[02:31] EC: \/ as far as i can see you just walked straight through the entrance of this place
[02:31] SS: =]=> I know that
[02:31] SS: =]=> But nothing seems right
[02:31] SS: =]=> This isn't how a dungeon normally works from what I know
[02:32] SS: =]=> So is there some big trap I'm just not getting or is this a serious cakewalk
[02:32] EC: \/ did UA send you here
[02:32] SS: =]=> Him and also a bearded iguana I saved in a different place
[02:33] EC: \/ ok that makes sense
[02:34] EC: \/ so i am a little confused
[02:34] SS: =]=> About what
[02:35] EC: \/ what exactly did you need my help with - confirming that this was indeed a regular dungeon or my help in proceeding in it
[02:35] SS: =]=> I think I can figure out proceeding in it but I just needed some magical space bullshit to confirm I wasn't getting in over my head
[02:35] SS: =]=> But that's only the minor reason I needed to talk to you
[02:36] EC: \/ youre the time player
[02:36] EC: \/ when things get out of hand
[02:36] EC: \/ back out of the current situation
[02:36] EC: \/ but i can tell you now its probably nothing dramatic
[02:37] SS: =]=> All right well that's good but like I said there's something else we need to talk about
[02:37] SS: =]=> Seems like you've been talking with Chas a whole lot
[02:37] EC: \/ i have
[02:37] EC: \/ hes the leader of this little posse isnt he
[02:37] SS: =]=> I want to know what your deal is why are you really talking to him so much
[02:37] SS: =]=> Leader or not Chas is one of the most naive fucks I've ever met
[02:37] SS: =]=> Being my best bro nonwithstanding
[02:38] SS: =]=> And he seems to be following your advice pretty much without question
[02:38] SS: =]=> So I just wanted to say
[02:38] SS: =]=> If your advice gets him killed I am going to rip my way across the Medium in a roaring hellfire and shove a gunblade straight up your ass
[02:39] EC: \/ the bravado you humans act towards us is really just unnecesairy
[02:39] EC: \/ and a little laughable to be honest
[02:40] SS: =]=> Call it bravado but I'm the one with the sword that shoots bullets here
[02:40] SS: =]=> Humans kick logic and reason to the motherfucking curb
[02:40] EC: \/ that is apparent
[02:40] SS: =]=> All I'm saying is if you insist on being his guide through this oddyssey he'd better come out in one piece
[02:40] EC: \/ seeing as you are accusing me of trying to kill the leader of the group that very well might be the one chance we have at life and the continuation of our entire race
[02:41] EC: \/ i assure you i have nothing but his best interests at heart
[02:41] SS: =]=> And that's another thing what exactly are we supposed to do to help you
[02:41] SS: =]=> We're not even in the same dimension are we
[02:42] EC: \/ technically speaking we are
[02:42] EC: \/ but for practical reasons lets say we arent
[02:42] SS: =]=> Then what are we supposed to do to get you out of whatever shit you're wading in
[02:42] SS: =]=> For that matter what shit ARE you wading in
[02:43] EC: \/ you are the time player and one of you is a space player
[02:44] EC: \/ once you get strong enough we might be able to work together to construct a bridge between our two respective groups
[02:44] EC: \/ because we have the strongest possible time-and-space player here already
[02:44] EC: \/ all we need is an anchor point
[02:44] SS: =]=> Well that doesn't make a whole lot of sense and you still haven't explained what exactly the problem is
[02:44] SS: =]=> But whatever it's probably just more timeline bullshit
[02:45] EC: \/ think of it as your session is an island
[02:45] EC: \/ we are adrift at sea
[02:45] EC: \/ the only way of reaching your island is by casting us a line
[02:46] EC: \/ which we can latch onto to pull ourselves to the island
[02:46] SS: =]=> Yeah I think I get that
[02:47] EC: \/ have you woken yet
[02:47] SS: =]=> What does that mean
[02:47] SS: =]=> Am I not awake
[02:47] SS: =]=> Is this all just some fucking simulation
[02:48] EC: \/ no no
[02:49] SS: =]=> Well then give me the blue pill Smith and tell me what it does mean
[02:49] EC: \/ ask GK im getting tired of explaining things over and over
[02:50] SS: =]=> Fine whatever so I guess I'm out of threats so I think we're done for now unless you've got some fantastic revelation
[02:50] SS: =]=> Like everyone else I seem to talk to
[02:50] EC: \/ you gotta push the block forward
[02:50] EC: \/ not pull it towards you
[02:51] SS: =]=> That is such bullshit as both a metaphor and as a physical thing
[02:51] EC: \/ no really
[02:52] EC: \/ the block you were moving around
[02:52] EC: \/ just push it out of your way
[02:52] SS: =]=> Oh
[02:52] SS: =]=> All right
[02:53] EC: \/ so were that the questions
[02:53] SS: =]=> Yeah that was it
[02:53] EC: \/ alright
[02:54] EC: \/ when you need more help you can just wave again
[02:54] SS: =]=> Yeah sure
[02:54] EC: \/ bye dirk
[02:54] -- equilibricConcilate [EC] ceased pestering stabsSalesman [SS] at 14:54 --

Spoiler

Well that was a chore. And rather EMBARRASSING. You hope that she doesn't tell CHAS about what you just did. He'd probably mock you for the rest of eternity. Or hate you because you called him NAIVE. You wouldn't put it past him considering you'd probably be insulted as hell by that. Still you don't see anything you did as being WRONG. All you did was ensure the safety of your BRO from LETAGE.

You still don't trust her though. She acted nice enough, but there was still that condescending undertone, like she thought that no matter what you did you were still to some extent beneath her. Like you were just some fucking TOOL in the big plan. She kind of reminds you of your SIS, come to think of it.

Spoiler

You HATE people that remind you of your SIS.

 

[Pappytech]

>Chas: You follow the MAP to the location of the Third Gate. Luckily, you encounter no enemies on your way to the Gate.

Unluckily, once you reach the Gate, you are spotted by a large group of IMPS and a GICLOPS. Oh dear.

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>Greg: You and your small entourage walk towards the center of Prospit's moon. Besides the three tall towers, you can't really tell any of the buildings apart from one another. However, the moon's citizens seem to know where they are going.

You soon find yourself at a HOSPITAL, where several people rush out to take a look at LS. After a quick examination, they state that he's fine, just suffering from a bit of shock. He should be fine shortly.

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>Dirk: Nothing new really happens. It looks like you've done about everything you can in this room.

For no reason in particular, you feel inclined to examine your RUSTED POCKET-WATCH again. You see that during your wanderings, it has ticked back to 5:17 and is stuck there again. You also see that the scratches it originally had have reappeared.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

> Xavier: Enter the birdhouse
After being blown off by the PARROTS, you enter the BIRDHOUSE, still taking pictures.

 

[ArcNitemare]

>Greg:Go Flying

You breath a sigh of relief to know that LS will be fine.

You tell the doctors that you will be back to check on LS.You have some flying to do.

As you fly around PROSPIT you can't help shake that feeling from earlier.You feel at home here.As if you have always been here.An unshakable feeling of happiness seems to wash over you.

You see people look at you as you fly by.Atleast they don't seem to be afraid of you,more curious then anything else.There are your people.If you are a Prince then you will make sure to be the best Prince you can be.

As you spend the next minutes flying around PROSPIT you spot one of the TOWERS similar to the one you were in.You decide to check if any of your friends are here as well.You fly up to the WINDOW of the TOWER and look inside.

>Greg:Look inside tower

 

[Pappytech]

>Chas: Using your LASERFACE, you are able to take out a few of the IMPS. The rest quickly scatter in fear. The GICLOPS, however, begins moving towards you. His booming steps shake the ground, throwing you slightly off balance.

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>Xavier: You enter the BIRDHOUSE, to find a large number of PARROTS flying around, traveling from floor to floor, room to room. They seem to mostly ignore you.

A quick glance around allows you to see several areas of interest, including a STORE and a LIBRARY.

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>Greg: You peer inside one of the TOWER'S windows. To your surprise, the room is very dark, despite all the light emitting from the PLANET above you. Looking through the gloom, you think you can see Chas, twisting and turning fitfully around on his bed.

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Impulse!

Oh look, your Watch is screwed up again. As a sort of Habit you twist it back about FIVE HOURS. You decide that the best thing to do now is go through the DOOR to your LEFT. Maybe it will feel more like a DUNGEON and less like a MINDFUCK further in. That reminds you of what LETAGE said to you. What did she mean about it making sense that UA suggested this place? You recall CHAS told you his name but you've forgotten it already.

 

[ArcNitemare]

>Greg:Examine inside of Tower.

You go through the WINDOW and step into the TOWER.To your surprise, the room is very dark, despite all the light emitting from the PLANET above you.You see basic stuff in the room,bed,computer and a few personal effects.You notice a figure laying on the bed.You walk over and examine the occupant.

And,while you have only seen a picture of him a year or two ago,this seems to be your FRIEND Chas,who seems twisting and turning fitfully around on his bed.He seems to still be asleep.Well you'll just have to wait till he wakes up.It would be rude to try to force him to wake up.He may be doing something inportant right now.

While you wait it may be a good idea to borrow his dream COMPUTER.You doubt he would mind.And surpissingly,PESTERCHUM seems to be installed on here.

 

[Pappytech]

>Dirk: Entering the room, you see a few IMPS scampering about. There's a door to your right and straight ahead.

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>Chas: Using that technique does something that is probably quite awesome. However, the GM doesn't know what it is, so he can't really describe it.

Anyway, the GICLOPS takes moderate damage. It's still oncoming, however, and swipes at you. Luckily, it misses.

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>Greg: You log onto PESTERCHUM.

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Take the right path

You casually shoot some IMPS with your HYPERION GUNBLADE as you take the PATH TO THE RIGHT. If you recall, the MAP made it look like this would bring you around in a loop back to your STARTING POINT. You're going to comb every inch of this TEMPLE if you have to to find the LOOT that you were promised.

As you go you take a moment or two to admire the ART on the walls. You can sort of understand why the IGUANAS want to copy it all, but at the same time you really want to know just what the ENGRAVINGS are all about. Are they PROPHECIES? Maybe just DOODLES?

You muse that KAMINASPRITE might know. You make a mental note to ask him when you get back to your HOUSE.

 

[senorcromas]

>Rich: Turn around.

You'd... You'd rather not. You mean, look at that water! Such stillness! Surely this phenomenon merits hours of devoted watching, from an expert. And you don't see any OTHER professional (recreational) WATCHERS around here! Nope, surely anybody who is not an EXPERIENCED RECREATIONAL PROFESSIONAL must leave the room. And the house, just for good measure. You say this quite loudly, making sure all NON PROFESSIONALS hear.

You wait a few minutes, just to see if SPANDEXSPRITE got the message. You turn around. Slowly, slowly...

Slowly, You come face to face with SPANDEXSPRITE! You are quick to shout your delight. This is fantastic, really. No, really, you love meeting like this, but you've got to go. You are certain you heard the front door opening.

Far away from here.

>Go check it out.

 

[Pappytech]

>Dirk: As you venture into the next room, you see that there's only one door straight in front of you. Sadly, it's locked.

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>Chas: Your FLASH causes the GICLOPS to be blinded momentarily. His next attack misses you by several yards.

However, your STRONGJUMP has failed to carry you much higher than the beast's knees. Your BATTLE-SPORK glances off the GICLOPS' leg, dealing minor damage. But, your BAD PUN deals a good amount of STRESS-DAMAGE. So, there's that.

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>Rich: You go examine the FRONT DOOR, and find that is indeed open. You are suddenly ambushed by a pair of IMPS!

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Turn around and go back

Spoiler

Goddamn TEMPLES and DUNGEONS and PUZZLE SHIT. It's all stupid. Why the hell do you need to get a KEY anyway? It's only a pointless distraction from the real goal. You have time to waste with these insane SIDE QUESTS. You guess you'll have to go the OTHER WAY instead.

And why the hell is this PAINT BUCKET on your knee?

 

[CJ1145]

Spoiler: OOC

The Vast FUCK

 

[ArcNitemare]

Spoiler: OOC

All I have to say is that the new update brings interesting questions to mind about Terezi's relationship with Karkat..

 

[senorcromas]

>Rich: murder insignificant peons.

W-what? why would you do that? They're kind of cute, in a horribly mutated way. You think you would like to be friends, if anything. And, what better way to make friends than with music?

>Relish in the unifying power of song.
With pleasure! You obtain your EARBUDS from your strife specibus, complete with MP3 PLAYER. You raise the sound up to ELEVEN, and stick the BUDS in what you assume are the EARS of the nearest IMP.

You hope they enjoy inhumanely loud music. You certainly do, and you would just be so embarrassed if they didn't.