Welcome to Sburb! (Dead and Over)

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Solve Puzzle Shit

Normally you would have extreme difficulty making this PUZZLE work. You'd probably have to go cry to that GOOD FOR NOTHING DAME to solve it for you. But not this time, this time you're running on SLICK POWER. This PUZZLE is gonna get the BEATING of a LIFETIME. You PUSH the BLOCKS onto the four surrounding TILES, and then tell the BASILISK that you're gonna stand on that TILE, and you'll only be a minute. God help that inky snake if he's not here when you get back.

 

[ArcNitemare]

>Greg:Solitaire!

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

[05:32:24] -- ghostKnight [GK] began pestering snickeringSurrogate [SS] at 17:32 --
[05:32:29] GK: Hey Chas,is it safe to talk with you now?Or should I try again later?
[05:33:39] SS: oh, hey greg! i'm good now.
[05:33:57] GK: Thats good,glad you are alright
[05:34:32] SS: well, i am confused.
[05:34:32] GK: Hey this may seem a bit out there but...what do you know of troll romance? :/
[05:34:35] SS: oh.
[05:34:47] SS: uh, wow, greg, i don't want to be the one to tell you about this but okay.
[05:34:57] SS: haha, just kidding, i know jack shit.
[05:35:16] GK: Blah..not the answer I was hoping for :/
[05:35:23] SS: i don't know.
[05:35:30] SS: they have some pretty weird stuff about hatred, i guess.
[05:35:41] SS: like plantonic hatred and...forking sadomasochistic stuff or something who knows.
[05:36:00] GK: Hmm thats a little more then nothing I guess
[05:36:28] SS: i guess.
[05:36:34] GK: I will have to learn more about it in the future if I am to help UA and the troll girl any in the future
[05:36:47] SS: something's going down between them, you think?
[05:36:57] SS: i guess that was my original analysis, yeah.
[05:37:33] SS: that's...pretty cool, i guess.
[05:37:34] GK: Possibly...though he did mention something about human love being resticted to humans
[05:37:50] SS: huh. that's also weird.
[05:37:50] GK: or more like wondering really
[05:38:00] SS: maybe ua has a crush on one of us.
[05:38:04] SS: illire, by the way, that is his name.
[05:38:15] SS: haha, maybe he's into beth!
[05:38:20] GK: Hmm I see....I iwll have to remember that
[05:38:36] SS: yes, that's probably it, beth rejected him.
[05:38:43] SS: anyway, i am in a predicament!
[05:38:48] GK: Hmm?
[05:38:56] SS: i was in this beautiful land and beating up shit left and right, and now i am in a desert.
[05:38:59] SS: or, well.
[05:39:01] SS: in a house, in a desert.
[05:39:04] SS: no idea whose house this is.
[05:39:15] SS: but i mean i'm not really all the way down these GODDAMN STAIRS
[05:39:24] SS: whoever designed this gate platform is an idiot, and i will punch them.
[05:39:34] GK: I think that might be Dirk's house
[05:39:48] SS: what?
[05:40:31] GK: You said stairs right?And I think i saw sand when i last looked at his place...could be something...could be nothing
[05:40:40] SS: well, aren't you his server player?
[05:41:03] GK: Yes...but I haven't seen him since i got here.Here being Prospit
[05:41:21] SS: you should be able to see one very, very hard-boiled man in a midnight crew suit if you get back to your compuohmygod.
[05:41:29] GK: And your dream computer doesn't show him
[05:41:41] SS: i am...
[05:41:47] SS: i am standing in front of his sister's room.
[05:41:51] SS: this is it.
[05:41:56] SS: he's explained it to me so many times.
[05:42:00] SS: talking about her dumb art.
[05:42:05] SS: and also how much she kicks his as.
[05:42:09] SS: ass, rather!
[05:42:10] GK: I see
[05:42:48] GK: Well don't do anything stupid...I doubt Dirk would be happy if his Sis killed him because one of his friends came into her room
[05:42:57] SS: no, you don't understand.
[05:43:06] SS: his sis has some sort of weird kinky thing for droog.
[05:43:34] SS: can you imagine what's in her room?
[05:43:40] GK: Droog?That weird Midnight Crew thing you talked about alot once?
[05:43:52] SS: yes! the only member of the midnight crew who has his shit together.
[05:43:54] SS: droog.
[05:43:56] SS: he is a professional.
[05:44:04] SS: if i go in there, i will find everything i have ever desired.
[05:44:19] GK: And if its just a normal room?
[05:44:42] SS: i swear it's not.
[05:44:53] SS: i might have to search for her secret droog shrine or something.
[05:44:56] SS: but it'll be there.
[05:45:40] GK: Ok...that seems to be bordering into stalkerism :/
[05:46:00] SS: no!
[05:46:05] SS: i am the leader!
[05:46:11] SS: i have this right.
[05:46:20] SS: shit, this is so exciting.
[05:46:43] GK: Being leader doesn't give you the powers to alter reality....atleast i don't think so
[05:46:50] SS: i am the heir of light.
[05:47:02] SS: i can bend reality to my will.
[05:47:04] SS: you know why?
[05:47:06] SS: teamwork is why.
[05:47:12] GK: I don't think light can do that >.>
[05:47:21] SS: yes it can.
[05:47:27] SS: because light stands for all that is good and right.
[05:47:53] SS: and with the entire team behind me, time and space are at my behest!
[05:48:02] GK: Ugh...I'm getting off of this topic before i go into a rant and feel the need to beat you with a book
[05:48:14] SS: haha.
[05:48:35] GK: Ok...onto another topic..Troll girl..what do you think of her?
[05:49:18] SS: she's pretty cool.
[05:49:51] SS: she talks to me a bunch, and helped me out with making a new weapon.
[05:50:25] SS: also, she doesn't go totally apeshit with the time powers!
[05:50:34] GK: Hmm Dirk said she was nice
[05:50:42] SS: oh, dirk talked to her?
[05:50:58] SS: she asked me about him and his sis, and then dirk was pretty chomping at the bit to finally talk to her.
[05:51:05] SS: he's a pretty angry dude sometimes.
[05:51:13] SS: probably gave her what-ho about nothing in particular!
[05:51:39] SS: i told him to be nice, but he does not value space friendship.
[05:51:44] GK: I'm aware about Dirk and his problems...
[05:51:57] GK: Just as I'm aware of yours
[05:52:04] SS: i have no problems.
[05:52:14] SS: you should really accept me as your glorious leader without the psychoanalysis for once!
[05:52:29] SS: take a page from rich's book.
[05:52:35] SS: he is subordinate-in-chief, by the way.
[05:52:37] SS: i promoted him.
[05:52:40] SS: he is the best follower ever.
[05:52:49] GK: Naa i'm good..Ill stick to what i am now
[05:53:13] SS: what, the village two wheel device when it comes to righteous self help?
[05:53:43] GK: Hmm that was the exact words UA used....but yes..thats what I'm good at
[05:53:59] SS: he's the time dude.
[05:54:02] SS: future ua's pretty cool.
[05:54:05] SS: past ua's a dick.
[05:54:07] SS: who knows.
[05:54:38] GK: I don't have a problem with past UA or Future UA though I have no way to tell who is who
[05:54:51] SS: past ua hates forks.
[05:54:58] GK: and I still haven't got a chance to talke with troll girl :/
[05:54:59] SS: future ua admires my leaderhood.
[05:55:09] SS: hahaha, i am like the emisarry to letage nowadays.
[05:55:16] SS: i'll point her in your direction if she contacts me first.
[05:55:30] GK: thank you
[05:55:37] SS: tell her the village two wheel device thing.
[05:56:02] GK: I will only do that to preserve the timeline if I needed to
[05:56:23] SS: haha, okay.
[05:56:28] SS: don't get all timey-wimey on me.
[05:56:49] GK: I won't,that is not my role apparently
[05:57:10] SS: probably not!
[05:57:34] GK: Also I remember you mentioning something about space before...it was hard to tell over the YELLING
[05:57:52] SS: yes, that is your heroic role, i think!
[05:57:55] GK: UA is trying to get in touch with our space guy :/
[05:58:25] SS: well, nobody else seems to be space-y.
[05:58:28] SS: i know dirk's time.
[05:58:40] SS: which is kind of funny, his last name is pace!
[05:58:42] SS: hahaha.
[05:59:12] GK: I wounder how he is doing in that temple
[05:59:17] SS: temple?
[05:59:21] GK: or dungeon or whatever he called it
[05:59:23] SS: wait...
[05:59:26] SS: oh my gog.
[05:59:32] SS: i've been waiting for this.
[05:59:35] SS: dirk's like my best bro.
[05:59:40] SS: this is it.
[05:59:48] SS: we are the two most ass-kicking people this side of the medium.
[05:59:51] SS: and we are on the same planet.
[05:59:55] SS: which, somehow, has not exploded!
[05:59:59] SS: (from the awesome!)
[06:00:20] SS: i will go rescue him from the dungeon, and we will use our teamwork to kick ass.
[06:00:41] GK: Ok...just remember to go to sleep when you get the chance
[06:00:52] SS: i have so much to do, greg!
[06:00:56] SS: how am i supposed to sleep?
[06:01:02] SS: i am not narcoleptic and i am so excited!
[06:01:42] GK: You'll find time,I know you well enough..You want to see Prospit ..what with it being a City of Light and all
[06:01:49] SS: if you really want me to wake up, just smack dream me awake on prospit.
[06:01:55] SS: what's the worst that can happen?
[06:01:59] SS: i promise i won't be mad!
[06:02:09] SS: how can i be? it's prospit!
[06:02:23] SS: practically my planet.
[06:02:25] SS: i bet i am king.
[06:02:36] GK: No..probably just a Prince like me
[06:02:44] SS: haha.
[06:02:50] SS: if you're prince, i am probably king, greg.
[06:02:52] SS: this is just logical.
[06:03:02] SS: i am leader!
[06:03:14] GK: You fail at logic my friend..big time :/
[06:03:24] SS: no, you fail at faith.
[06:03:31] GK: Perhaps
[06:03:36] SS: you need to start believing in me, big time.
[06:03:48] SS: letage told me we all need to be at full strength for this.
[06:03:58] GK: I see
[06:04:01] SS: and the only way we're going to do that is by working as a team.
[06:04:08] GK: I agree
[06:04:26] SS: every team has to have a leader!
[06:04:34] SS: and i am the only one who has the balls to step up and do this!
[06:07:44] SS: i mean, jegus christ, the least you can give me is a little respect!
[06:07:57] GK: If you say so....most leaders that do that in my books don't tend to stay leaders very long :/
[06:08:15] GK: And i respect you fine Chas...I just don;t want to see you crash and brun
[06:08:19] SS: well, greg, you need to come to terms with what's at stake here.
[06:08:24] SS: i do not intend to crash and burn.
[06:08:36] SS: because we are dealing with the universe here.
[06:08:58] GK: I'm aware
[06:09:32] SS: we've all got our flaws except me.
[06:09:45] GK: Pride is a flaw too :/
[06:09:52] SS: this isn't pride. this is fact.
[06:10:16] SS: you're practically a liability because you won't hurt a fly unless it grows swordhands and tries to bite you.
[06:10:40] GK: No,pride is a flaw is a fact.Suffering from pride is a flaw...and I will fight when i need to
[06:10:44] SS: you need to get over your pacifism thing and realize that literally everything is out to kill you, and you're worth jack shit unless you do the same.
[06:11:31] GK: I know of my flaws...and I'm working toward fixing them
[06:11:39] SS: now, before i get neck-deep in my noir persona, i'm going to enter this stupid room.
[06:11:46] GK: ok if you say so
[06:12:00] SS: take this time to mull over the fact that i am your leader.
[06:12:14] SS: you can't start doubting me now.
[06:12:15] GK: Just so you know...when we do meet...I'm goint to slap you...hard
[06:12:32] SS: i will desintigrate your hand if you get the idea in your head.
[06:12:42] SS: if you slap me in your dreams you'll have to wake up and apologize.
[06:12:54] SS: that was a reservoir dogs quote, i do not literally mean that on prospit!
[06:14:06] GK: I swear..this is going to be a problem in the future Chas..whether you know it or not
[06:14:21] SS: future, blah, blah. if i need time insight i will talk to dirk or ua.
[06:14:40] SS: shape up!
[06:15:33] GK: Well i had hoped that you would go to see the White Queen with me...but I'm afraid of what you would do now....
[06:15:39] SS: white queen?
[06:15:42] SS: wait, wait.
[06:15:45] SS: there's a queen?
[06:15:51] SS: i don't think i'm ready for that.
[06:16:01] GK: A King and a Queen
[06:16:23] SS: have you seen the king yet?
[06:16:24] GK: and I was going to meet with the Queen until the trouble with LS
[06:16:30] GK: And no,no I haven't
[06:16:37] SS: yes, actually, you have met the king.
[06:16:40] SS: he is simply asleep.
[06:16:42] SS: :smooth:
[06:17:24] SS: anyway, i am a busy man!
[06:17:29] GK: ...I think i'll let you sleep for awhile longer..I don't want the pople here to be out for blood
[06:17:45] SS: chill out, i can handle them.
[06:17:57] SS: i'll talk to you later, hopefully when you're more comfortable with my position.
[06:18:04] SS: until then, consider yourself demoted to insubordinate-in-chief.
[06:18:09] GK: But yes I should go check on LS...I'll talk to you later Chas..
[06:18:11] SS: bye!
[06:18:15] -- snickeringSurrogate [SS] ceased pestering ghostKnight [GK] at 18:18 --

Chas seems to be getting worse.And the worst problem is...you don't know how to help him.

You just sigh and go back to SOLITAIRE.

However as the game goes on your vision suddenly begins acting strangely.You randomly fade in and out of blackness, and what you can see is quite blurry.

You think you can hear Perrywinkle meowing.

You're waking up.

While you are still able to,you shut down Chas' dream COMPUTER and lie down on the floor.You wouldn't want your dreamself to fall out of the chair.

As everything goes completely dark you find yourself back in the waking world.

Looks like LS will have to wait.You will have to remember to check on him the next time you go to sleep.

 

[Pappytech]

>Chas: You create the DARK-SPORK OUTFIT! Man, this thing really reminds you of Batman's costume... with the exception that it's got a SPORK instead of a BAT on its chest.

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>Dirk: Just as you finish pushing the last BLOCK onto the last TILE, a poof of smoke appears on the middle TILE. Once it clears, you see that there's a chest there.

You also realize that you don't have to worry about the BASILISK leaving. The only other exit to the previous room is still shut, after all.

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>Greg: You fall asleep in Chas's tower, and awaken outside your house, still in a meditative position. Perrywinkle is pawing at you, meowing incessantly. You notice a large stack of PANCAKES on a plate right next to you. You also smell something burningOH GOD THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE.

It appears that while you were out, a few BASILISKS decided to attack. They've set your house alight, and are currently battling LILYSPRITE.

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: GET THE CHEST

At last! A CHEST! LOOT! The whole damn reason you came in here! You don't even bother to check for traps, already too pissed to care about anything this TEMPLE can throw at you. You walk as quickly as you can up to it and OPEN it up, ready to grab whatever's inside.

 

[ArcNitemare]

>Greg:Wake up

You are wake now,back in the real world...and someone is pestering you before you are fully awake.Luckily you manage to pull yourself together before you respond.Looks like you get to finally have your discussion with the troll girl.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

[07:39:23] -- equilibricConcilate [EC] began pestering ghostKnight [GK] at 19:39 --
[07:39:29] EC: \/ i have been directed to you by your leader
[07:39:50] EC: \/ and realise that this is my first time contacting you to my shame
[07:40:14] GK: yES,gREETINGS
[07:40:29] GK: oh sorry still jot used to the glasses
[07:40:33] GK: gahh
[07:40:53] EC: \/ its no problem
[07:41:31] EC: \/ so what is going on that you needed me contacting you
[07:41:37] GK: Anyway yes I have been wanting to speak with you since UA firsted mentioned you
[07:42:01] GK: I like to get a feel for people if you will
[07:43:04] EC: \/ it seems to be a recurring trend with you people
[07:43:08] GK: Chas seems to speak highly of you..Dirk doesn't know what to think of you
[07:43:23] EC: \/ BS seems to be facinated with our culture
[07:43:33] GK: I don't blame him
[07:43:43] GK: Curiousity and all of that
[07:43:48] EC: \/ now you are with our psyches
[07:44:34] GK: Just trying to help in anyway i can..and the better I know you the better i can help
[07:44:56] EC: \/ i thought me and dirk got along pretty well?
[07:45:32] GK: Sorry but I shall not reveal more info then need be about my chats with Dirk..the same goes with chats between you and me
[07:46:19] GK: "the village two wheel device when it comes to righteous self help"Chas and UA both refered to me as
[07:46:30] EC: \/ now thats just plain rude
[07:46:54] GK: Not really
[07:47:29] GK: Righteous self help might be a bit much but again I'm just here to help in anyway I can
[07:47:43] EC: \/ well
[07:47:44] GK: And the best way i have found is being a mediator
[07:48:01] EC: \/ might you be the hero of space ive been trying to locate
[07:48:01] GK: A voice of reason if you will
[07:48:09] EC: \/ in that case you might help fully
[07:48:26] GK: Hero of space?Yes Chas said I might be that
[07:48:58] EC: \/ oh wow
[07:49:29] GK: Hmm?
[07:50:31] EC: \/ i might just need to help you if you want to help me
[07:50:32] EC: \/ us
[07:51:09] GK: Well i'll except any help you can give and in return I'll hope to repay the favor
[07:52:06] EC: \/ who is your server player
[07:52:48] GK: Rich,tenaciousConifer
[07:54:27] EC: \/ i think i might just give him a holler about speeding up construction
[07:54:32] EC: \/ you need to get to your land
[07:55:07] GK: Hmm I see.Well do say it nicely please.I'd rather not rush him if he is doing something important
[07:57:25] EC: \/ dare i say that chas would not have been as succesful a leader were it not for my interventions
[07:57:43] EC: \/ but ill try to be nice about it
[07:58:10] GK: Thank you and about Chas...please becareful with him..for his sake and all of ours
[07:59:07] EC: \/ thats the second person warning me to be careful with chas
[07:59:13] EC: \/ what is going on with that
[07:59:23] GK: He is a bit...off now
[07:59:40] GK: His pride is getting to him I fear..and i don't know how to help him
[08:00:50] GK: Please don't take that as a threat..its not..just a worry :/
[08:01:36] EC: \/ i dont see you as threats dont worry
[08:01:48] EC: \/ and i know chas can be a little prideful
[08:02:10] EC: \/ but its being channled into proper lanes at the moment
[08:02:20] GK: Good I guess
[08:02:42] GK: I thank you...for all of this
[08:03:07] EC: \/ its cool 8_8
[08:03:19] GK: Also if,in the future,you ever need to voice worries or doubts and you're not sure who to talk to,contact me.You may find me to be a very good listener
[08:03:26] GK:
[08:03:54] EC: \/ i think that i might just take up on that offer
[08:04:06] EC: \/ thank you
[08:04:14] GK: Good and your very welcome
[08:04:50] GK: And as a sign of good faith,My name is Greg Markos...you probably already knew that but you can just call me Greg in our future talks
[08:06:50] EC: \/ alright then greg
[08:07:03] EC: \/ and then i think our dialogue has to come to an end
[08:07:10] EC: \/ you have important ascending to do
[08:07:31] GK: Yes..thank you again
[08:07:45] GK: Until next time /bow
[08:07:52] EC: \/ good bye
[08:07:54] -- equilibricConcilate [EC] ceased pestering ghostKnight [GK] at 20:07 --

She seemed nice.And a bit helpful.However,while you are willing to be friendly with her you won't trust her just yet.

You also now know that the glasses are voice activated.

Now with that out of the way and you back in the waking world,time to take stock of your surroundings.

The CAT seems to be pawing at you and meowing incessantly to your right.There also seems to be a large stack of PANCAKES on a plate right in front of you.You can't help but smile at that.

You sniff the air and catch a whiff of a strange smell.It takes you a moment to figure out what it is and when you do your eyes go wide.Smoke.Smoke=Fire.Fire=Bad.

You look down from your perch to see your HOUSE is on FIRE.And in the middle of the yard Lily is currently duking it out with a few BASILISKS.

You stuff the plate of PANCAKES into your BACKPACK MODUS,equip your sword and rush down to help Lily.

 

[senorcromas]

>Rich: Be a host.

While one imp is distracted with your SIMPLY AMAZING TASTE IN MUSIC, you take a moment to chat up the OTHER.

So... how's life? You doing good? Need anything? No? That's cool, that's cool. Nothing at all? Right, got it. Well, if you do...

You forgot you are not good at THIS KIND OF THING. It doesn't help that they don't seem to be responding. Oh! You almost forgot. You ask one more question.

Why, exactly, are you in my house?

 

[WafflesandBacon]

> Xavier: Bother the reading bird
You tap the READING BIRD and ask if you can read the TOME.

 

[Pappytech]

>Dirk: You reach into the chest, and find... a MAGNIFYING GLASS? Well, loot is loot.

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>Chas: You create the DROOG'S SILVERWARE! It looks a lot like your BATTLE-SPORK, except small enough to be held in one hand. It's also pitch black. Nice.

You then ASCEND through the First Gate, and find yourself in the middle of some ruins. There are a few IGUANAS here and there, apparently studying the RUINS.

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>Greg: LILYSPRITE has managed to deal a lot of damage to the two BASILISKS, but they're still going strong. When they notice you coming towards them, one turns to face you while the other continues fighting LILYSPRITE.

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>Rich: The IMP thinks for a moment. Suddenly, his eyes brighten with realization. He then begins attacking you. Looks like they're here to kill you. Yeah, probably should have seen that one coming.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Xavier: You proceed to have a conversation with the PARROT LIBRARIAN, one which is full of important plot details. Although other people might want to view the conversation, they won't be able to for a while, since TIMEY-WIMEY STUFF has caused the conversation to not happen yet. Hopefully it'll happen later.

 

[ArcNitemare]

>Greg:Stop and Stare

You land a short distance from where Lily is fighting off the BASILISKS.As they notice you coming towards them,one turns to face you while the other continues fighting Lily.

You raise your STEEL KATANA at the BASILISK,a fire burning in your eyes.This won't end well for the BASILISK.

You slowly advance toward it.

>Greg:STRIFE!

 

[WafflesandBacon]

> Xavier: Feel enlightened
It..

> ===>
Makes..

> ===>
Sense!

> Xavier: Give a present to the bird
You give the PARROT the OUJIA BOARD. You don't know what PARROT will do with a OUJIA BOARD, but you don't care; you were kind, that's all that matters.

 

[senorcromas]

>Rich: Remember Hallucination. Also everything else everybody told you.
Oh. Yeah, no, that seems about right.

Time to get serious.

STRIFE!
You've never actually FOUGHT before. That... doesn't seem to matter. You feel your body taking over.

You wrench your EARBUDS out of the contented IMP'S EARSOCKETS, and whip them towards the OTHER IMP, hoping to get a firm clasp on the MONSTER'S NECK.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

> Xavier: Get trolled

Spoiler: Show pesterlog

[08:51] -- unopressedAgitator [UA] began pestering lionizedAnon [LA] at 20:51 --
[08:51] UA: why thE fuck hAvE you bEEN AskiNG so mANy quEstioNs bRo
[08:51] LA: I need to know things.
[08:51] LA: Its nessecary.
[08:51] UA: thE fuck mAN No you doNt
[08:52] LA: Yeah, I do.
[08:52] UA: listEN
[08:52] UA: you NEEd to kNow thE shit iNsidE thE GAmE
[08:52] UA: you NEEd to kNow how to kEEp youR fuckiNG hEAd oN youR shouldERs
[08:52] LA: That's what I'm trying to know.
[08:52] LA: ...
[08:53] LA: You had me and you lost me.
[08:53] UA: but this shit About quEstioNiNG thE tRolls ANd iNfoRmiNG lEtAGE About this humAN disEAsE cAllEd fRiENdship
[08:53] UA: thAt shit is off limits
[08:53] UA: you GEt mE
[08:53] LA: Its not disease.
[08:53] UA: EmotioN thEN fuck i duNNo
[08:53] LA: And inform her how I please.
[08:53] LA: And she informs me how she pleases.
[08:54] UA: yEAh wEll lEtAGE is A NAivE NooksNiffER who doEsNt kNow shit
[08:54] LA: She seems competent
[08:54] UA: ANd youR iNtERRoGAtioNs stop hERE
[08:54] UA: wEll fuck of couRsE shEs compEtENt
[08:55] UA: but if you NEEd quEstioNs fuckiNG ANswEREd you Ask mE okAy
[08:55] LA: Ok.
[08:55] LA: May I have your name?
[08:55] UA: IlliRE
[08:55] LA: Illire?
[08:55] UA: I - L - L - I - R - E
[08:55] LA: Your quirks makes it hard for me to read.
[08:56] LA: Perfect.
[08:56] UA: whElp
[08:56] UA: thAt wAs EAsy
[08:56] LA: Yes it was.
[08:56] LA: Thank you, Illire.
[08:57] UA: you wERENt couRtiNG hER foR REd wERE you
[08:57] UA: cAusE thAt shit is fuckiNG disGustiNG
[08:57] LA: ...
[08:57] LA: Trying to flirt?
[08:57] LA: I think that's our equilvent.
[08:57] UA: i duNNo mAN youR RElAtioNships ARE wEiRd
[08:57] LA: As our yours.
[08:58] LA: Speaking of which.
[08:58] LA: Would you mind explain your 'relationship quadrant'?
[08:58] UA: woAh
[08:58] UA: wEll suRE ok
[08:59] UA: but im Not thE hEAd histoRyGAtER foR thAt if you cAtch my dRift
[08:59] LA: Ok, please do it the best of your abilites.
[08:59] UA: wEll - ANd this is kEEpiNG it REAlly fuckiNG simplE - wE hAvE fouR quAdRANts of RElAtioNships
[09:00] UA: mAtEspRit <3
[09:00] LA: Ok.
[09:00] UA: moiRAil
[09:00] UA: kismEsis <3<
[09:00] UA: ANd AuspicE <)<
[09:00] LA: I follow.
[09:01] UA: mAtEspRit is whEN two tRolls pREtty much lovE/pity oNE ANothER
[09:01] UA: kismEsis is hAtE so stRoNG thAt its thE bAsE foR EvERythiNG
[09:01] UA: moiRAil is wEll
[09:01] UA: bEiNG thERE foR thE othER tRoll
[09:01] UA: fEEliNG jAms ANd shit
[09:02] UA: ANd AuspicE is bEiNG thE mEdiAtoR bEtwEEN two tRolls thAt cANt sEEm to fiGuRE out whAt thE fuck thEy wANt
[09:02] LA: Easy enough.
[09:02] UA: oNly two of thEsE sidEs RElAtE to mAtiNG but you doNt GEt to hAvE thE lowdowN oN thAt
[09:02] LA: So, apperently me and Connor are kismesis...
[09:02] LA: Huh.
[09:03] LA: Well, you have been helpful.
[09:03] UA: hAvENt sEEN you GEt it oN with hAtEsNoGGiNG
[09:03] LA: Hatesnogging?
[09:03] LA: OH GOD, NO!
[09:03] LA: I shun the very idea!
[09:04] UA: youRE Not kismEsis
[09:04] LA: We are, I guess!
[09:04] LA: But we don't snoog are anything!
[09:05] UA: wEll if you doNt hAtEsNoG youRE Not kismEsis is whAt i sAys
[09:05] LA: Then we're not kismesis, then
[09:05] LA: Yuck!
[09:05] UA: Ah wEll
[09:05] UA: youRE bouNd to fiNd somEoNE you hAtE ENouGh bRo
[09:05] LA: To 'snoog
[09:05] LA: '
[09:05] LA: them/
[09:06] LA: Maybe, maybe not.
[09:06] UA: ANywAy im GoNNA lAuGh At youR lEAdER foR bEiNG GRossly iNcompEtENt
[09:06] UA: lAtER bRo
[09:06] -- unopressedAgitator [UA] ceased pestering lionizedAnon [LA] at 21:06 --

> ===>
Disgusting!
You would never do something like that! Utterly repulsive!

> However
Illire did help, you have to give him that...

 

[Connor Lonske]

>Connor:Quick recap

For the past few pag-I mean hours you have been goofing of on 4chan. Nothing important. Your Dad and sprite are defending the house. Now to do-

Wait, Waffles is pestering you.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

-- lionizedAnon [LA] began pestering backroomSix [BS] --
LA: Connor.
LA: I just wanted to say.
BS: Hey Xavier
BS: What?
LA: I will never snoog you ever.
BS: ?
LA: I don't even care that were kismesis.
LA: I will never
LA: EVER
LA: do it.
BS: ...
LA: No matter what that troll says.
BS: Why would I want to snoog you?
LA: Goodbye.
BS: Wait!
-- lionizedAnon [LA] ceased pestering backroomSix [BS] --

God, even if your Bi thinking of fucking tha-Oh shit, someone else is pestering you!

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

-- snickeringSurrogate [SS] began pestering backroomSix [BS] --
SS: okay, congratulations, you're the lucky first forking recipient of the team alder obituary.
SS: beth is dead.
SS: planet blew up.
BS: ...
BS: Oh god
BS: Really?
SS: dead as dead can be.
SS: can't be revived under any circumstance.
SS: i am not forking with you.
BS: ...
-- backroomSix [BS] ceased pestering snickeringSurrogate [SS] --

You have no idea what to say. I mean, this is crazy! Shit, shit shit shit! I mean, first you find out your future is to have hate sex with your hate friend, then you find out that one of your friends are dead! OH GOD WHA-

>Connor: Be someone more chilled out

 

[WafflesandBacon]

>Connor: Be someone more chilled out

You now are Xavier again, calmed by the closure you had with your hate friend.
Er...Kismesis.

> ===>
An image of Connor and me making out appears in my head.
OH GOD!

> ===>
YOU MEAN HALF-KISMESIS, NOT FULLY!

> Xavier: Flip the fuck out
OH GOD, YOU HATE CONNOR, BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO MAKE OUT WITH HIM!

> Be Ganzfeld
You are now GANZFELD.
You watch as your new master FLIPS THE FUCK OUT.

> WORMTECH LVL. 1> SIPUNCULA SOOTHING STARE
You and your MASTER'S eyes meet.

> Be Xavier again.
You are Xavier again, calmed again by your PET WORM.

> Xavier: Leave before you make a big scene
Parrots start looking me.
Too late.

> Xavier: Scurry out of the birdhouse
You do so.

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Take the MAGNIFYING GLASS.

Well, you TAKE IT, you suppose. LOOT is LOOT, and you're ready to get back to finding out what the real treasure of this TEMPLE is. But first, you're going to COMPLAIN TO YOUR BRO about the shit in the CHEST.

Spoiler: show Pesterlog

[09:30] -- stabsSalesman [SS] began pestering snickeringSurrogate [SS] at 21:30 --
[09:31] SS: =]=> It's a magnifying glass Chas
[09:31] SS: =]=> It is a gogdamn magnifying glass
[09:31] SS: =]=> That is my "awesome fucking loot"
[09:31] SS: cry me a fucking river.
[09:31] SS: beth's dead.
[09:31] SS: =]=>
[09:31] SS: =]=> What?
[09:31] SS: you heard me.
[09:32] SS: that's it.
[09:32] SS: it's done, she's gone for good.
[09:32] SS: =]=> No.
[09:32] SS: =]=> No, that is not fucking true.
[09:32] SS: =]=> Period.
[09:32] SS: =]=> The punctuation makes it fucking true Chas, who the fuck told you this??
[09:32] SS: the aliens who have a complete view over our timeline.
[09:33] SS: =]=> Which one?
[09:33] SS: don't give me your bullshit now, dirk, you know this happened and it's not going to stop being true because letage told me.
[09:33] SS: =]=> No, there has to be something up this is all part of one of Letage's goddamn schemes.
[09:34] SS: =]=> She is lying to get you to do fucking something.
[09:34] SS: i'm going to fill you in fully here, because i'm obligated to.
[09:34] SS: the rest will find out in time.
[09:34] SS: she got fucking mutilated by some agent of derse, first off.
[09:34] SS: but then it gets sort of dark.
[09:34] SS: her weird robot pal she always talked about, wilson, watson, whatever.
[09:35] SS: see, sburb has a second life system.
[09:35] SS: the dreamselves on prospit or derse.
[09:35] SS: but hers got blown to high heaven when her robot BLEW UP THE FUCKING PLANET.
[09:36] SS: =]=> ...
[09:36] SS: =]=> That can't be right.
[09:36] SS: =]=> There has to be something we can do.
[09:36] SS: nope.
[09:37] SS: =]=> What kind of fucking game is this Chas?
[09:37] SS: we have a clear reality in front of us - the world as we know it is dead, and so is one of our friends.
[09:37] SS: i had a pretty bad feeling about her already, but i did jack shit. so i don't intend to let any of this happen again.
[09:38] SS: =]=> You say that like it makes up for the first time.
[09:38] SS: and the last thing i need is the only other truly competent person i can count on caught up in doubts.
[09:39] SS: not doubting the situation, not doubting the trolls, not doubting me.
[09:39] SS: =]=> There aren't any doubts, Chas. I'm fucking angry. And I am going to blow up anything and everything responsible.
[09:39] SS: =]=> Where are you right now?
[09:40] SS: i'm on your planet.
[09:40] SS: on my way to your ruins as we speak.
[09:41] SS: i was going to keep it a surprise, give you a big heart-to-heart bunp out of fucking nowhere, but then this shit dropped.
[09:41] SS: =]=> Don't bother, just wait for me at the village.
[09:41] SS: the one by the next gate?
[09:41] SS: =]=> I'm about to blow my way right the fuck out of this temple, don't want rubble and shit falling on you.
[09:41] SS: =]=> Yeah the one with all the bearded iguanas in a tent.
[09:42] SS: alright, i'll meet you there.
[09:42] SS: =]=> Okay.
[09:42] SS: i'm with you now on this revenge shit, dirk.
[09:42] SS: i fully intend to beat every fucking dersite into the ground for this.
[09:43] SS: =]=> You're my bro, Chas, I want you to know that. And I'm going to need help laying dynamite over every goddamn inch of Derse.
[09:43] SS: that's not a good idea.
[09:43] SS: =]=> Why's that?
[09:43] SS: first off, derse is a long fucking way away, and i don't even know if we can set foot on it without getting slaughtered.
[09:43] SS: but we've got friends on derse.
[09:43] SS: dreamers.
[09:44] SS: our own little dreamselves we'd be slaughtering.
[09:44] SS: =]=> I know, man. How do you think I'm planning all this? I think my dreamself might be on Derse.
[09:44] SS: you think so?
[09:44] SS: =]=> Would you know if Derse is purple?
[09:44] SS: i'm a prospit dreamer. according to the trolls there's no way i can get there without some kind of fucking miracle.
[09:44] SS: yes, derse is purple.
[09:45] SS: =]=> Then I'm fairly confident of that.
[09:45] SS: =]=> For a brief second, I was in a room full of purple shit.
[09:46] SS: you've got my support, but we need to go after the king and queen.
[09:46] SS: not the planet.
[09:46] SS: =]=> If you say so.
[09:46] SS: =]=> But anyways I'll be on my way in a minute. I'll see you there.
[09:47] SS: alright.
[09:47] SS: we'll talk more in person.
[09:48] SS: =]=> Bye.
[09:49] -- stabsSalesman [SS] ceased pestering snickeringSurrogate [SS] at 21:49 --

You have begun to use CORRECT GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION from UTTER SHOCK.

>Dirk: Go meet up with Chas.

Spoiler

You'll be out in a minute.

 

[Pappytech]

>Greg: The BASILISK takes a decent amount of damage from your attack. Combined with the injuries sustained in its fight with LILYSPRITE, this is enough to finish your enemy off.

The other BASILISK is still hanging in there, but barely.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Chas: You begin wandering through the ruins. Garbed in black and carrying dark thoughts, your journey seems to last a small eternity. However, you do eventually find the IGUANA CAMP, and Dirk's Second Gate.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Xavier: As you vacate the BIRDHOUSE, you notice that the PARROTS seem to have already forgotten your little outburst. Well, alright then.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Rich: You fail to pull the EARBUDS out of the IMP'S ears. However, you do manage to swing them, and the IMP, into the other IMP, the one attacking you. This attack deals significant damage to both IMPS, causing them to disintegrate into piles of Grist!

The remaining IMP, looks at where his friends were just standing, and then at you. He begins backing away from you, towards the FRONT DOOR.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Connor: While you were goofing off, you notice that your DAD and SHEPARDPIESPRITE have taken down a lot of enemies, including OGRES and BASILISKS. It looks like there's a large amount of Grist lying around outside.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Dirk: You take the MAGNIFYING GLASS without incident. It looks pretty ordinary, except that its handle seems to be inscribed with some of the STRANGE SCRIPT that adorns the ruins.

As you sit down, you seem to sense something weird. You can't really describe it, but it just feels like something in the room is... off. You suddenly see a small burst of light, and a strange object falls out of midair. It looks a lot like your POCKET-WATCH, and seems to have a note attached.