Welcome to Sburb! (Dead and Over)

[WafflesandBacon]

>Xavier: Check on Ganzfeld
Yup, he's still your pocket, being a worm and shit. You probably feed him or something.

>Xavier: Have a conversation with DI

 

[CJ1145]

>CJ: Go home

Spoiler

Ah, nothing like coming HOME after a long day of planning SHITTY COSPLAYS to please my WEIRD OTAKU GIRL friend. There's my novelty RAN-OUT-OF-SPACE WELCOME MAT there to greet me. Now a quick left down the hallway...

Spoiler

And there's my room in the back! Time to check on my various INTERNET EXPLOITS AND ACTIVITIES.

Spoiler

And there's my FOURTH WALL! No GUY WHO MAKES SHITTY ART FOR FUN IN HIS SPARE TIME is complete without one. Let's flip it on and see what's new.

Spoiler

>Dirk: Help Chase Pose as team

You can't do that yet! You're still getting the LOOOOOOOOT! But you assume that, once you receive the LOOOOOOOOT and meet up with him for some EPIC SHOWDOWN, it will look like this.

Spoiler

> GMFAU: Help a bro out.

Sure. You can school this chump in how you make a team pose.

<spoiler=POSE AS A MOTHEFUCKING TEAM>

THE TEMPLE ITSELF CRACKS UNDER THE COMBINED GLORY OF YOUR POSING. SOMEWHERE A NERD IS BESTOWED THE MOST MANLY MUSCLES OF ALL THE WORLD AND IMMEDIATELY GETS ALL THE BITCHES. UNDERLINGS SWOON AT THE MEREST SIGHT OF YOU POSING.

Right. Now that you've put yourself to shame, time to move on.

> Move on

>CJ: Flip the fuck out.

Spoiler: With gusto

Der FUCK?! What the hell is this shit?! You spend all day slaving over a hot GIMP PICTURE and then some NO TALENT HACK WHO IS WAY BETTER THAN YOU comes along and tells you how to do your gog-damned art?! You think it's easy, Mr. ARTIST MAN?! Well, for you it is! Because you've got some fucking talent! But I am sitting in here with an ORANGE JUMPSUIT in like 100 DEGREE WEATHER and trying my best! And it's not like I can draw well with a fucking mouse! See watch me make a fucking awesome sketch!

Spoiler

See? See?! That almost doesn't suck! Think you can just muscle in on my territory, huh?! I'll show you! Just let me change into my ass-kicking clothes and then you're up for the beating only a nerd on the internet can give! AUTHOR AVATAR POWERS, ACTIVATE!

Spoiler

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'M COMING FOR YA

[hr]

Meanwhile, back at the plot...

>Dirk: Congratulate friend

Hmm, that was pretty good. You thought the first pose had a little more personality, but the second one definitely exuded much badassery. You're certain any BOSS CREATURES are now appropriately stunned.

 

[Pappytech]

>Greg: After walking back into the SALAMANDER VILLAGE, you're able to procure directions to the next closest VILLAGE quite easily. Apparently, there's also supposed to be a big, orange, shiny, floaty thing there as well.

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>GMFAU: Truly, twas badass.

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>Xavier: As you approach DI, he stops what he is doing and hands you a WAX TABLET. The TABLET says that he's unfortunenely mute, and can't really have a conversation with you.

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>Dirk: ................................................................................................

You gain all the levels. All of them. Or, at least one of them.

Level 22 TIMEY-WIMEY OTAKU. +5 Boonbucks.

The GM assumes that you use your BOSS KEY to open the door. It swings open, to reveal a large staircase heading downwards.

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: DESCEND

You try to think of an epic pose to make, but really the word DESCEND is all you need here.

Spoiler

On second thought, CHAS goes first. Being the LEADER and all.

 

[ArcNitemare]

>Greg:Return to Village

You return to the SALAMANDER VILLAGE in a short time.You think your beginning to like this LAND.Not quite the HOMELY feel of PROSPIT but it has its charm.

You're able to procure directions to the next closest VILLAGE quite easily.Apparently, there's also supposed to be a big, orange, shiny, floaty thing there as well.You are curious as to what this could be.But you know you will find out..in time.You promise to return as soon as you can.

As you walk out of the VILLAGE and through the FOREST to the LOCATION the SALAMANDERS gave you,you can't help but skip a bit,a smile spread across your face.

A Knight is you.You will do the stories and myths you read as a child honor.You will prove you are capable to join the Knights of Old.And you know what to do.Help in anyway you can.

 

[SamuelT]

<spoiler=Hehehehe>

GM powers away.

 

[Pappytech]

>Team Aldirk: As you head down the staircase, you become aware of strange noises, continuously increasing in volume. Sounds like something big is down there...

After DESCENDING for about 15 minutes, you finally reach a large, circular room. Torches posted around the perimeter provide some lighting. In the center of the room, you see a large black form. Next to it, you see the shattered remains of a VASE.

The strange shape suddenly moves. You realize that you're facing a massive beast, although it seems to be sleeping right now.

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>Greg: You proceed to wander aimlessly in the general direction of the next VILLAGE. After walking for a while, you eventually make it there.

You can see that the VILLAGE is located on top of one of the many TOWERS that cover your Land. You can also see that it is currently surrounded by a large force of Underlings, mostly IMPS, but with a few OGRES, two pairs of BASILISKS, and a GICLOPS as well.

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>GMFAU: Well, this should be interesting...

 

[ArcNitemare]

>Greg:Help Village

You need to help the VILLAGE..but you don't think you can take on that many creatures at once.

As you look around,trying to find a way to help you glance down at the GLOVES on your hands.A smile spreads across your face as a plan starts to form.But first you should try to take out as many of the IMPS as you can to lessen the NUMBERS.

>Greg:Climb Tower and take care of Imps

 

[CJ1145]

>CJ: Faceoff

Spoiler

So, it's YOU...

Spoiler

You think you're really something SPECIAL, don't you? That you're BETTER THAN ME? Well let me tell you something, that's because you ARE. But even so. You may have more artistic talent than me, you may have a better image-making program than me, you may be better dressed than me, but for all of those things, you don't have what it takes to beat me. Because I've got something you'll never have.

Spoiler

A GIANT MOTHERFUCKING ROBOT! GET HIM, FUCKTIMUS PRIME!

[hr]

>Dirk: Stealthily evade the boss

EVADE THE BOSS? Yeah, that's actually a great idea! Of course you will! Hahahaha...

Spoiler

Oh who are you kidding, it's surprising you didn't attack it sooner.

 

[SamuelT]

Whoops.

 

[CJ1145]

Spoiler

FUCKTIMUS PRIME! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Spoiler

Try a little AMATEUR WRITER'S WHITE OUT!

Spoiler

Oh, and did I mention it was also a BEAM O' DOOM?

 

[WafflesandBacon]

>Well shit.
You leave a BOONBUCK on DI'S table to show your appreciation, you're such a nice guy.

>Xavier: Leave
[hr]
Waffles: Join in on the GLORIOUS BATTLE!
Yeah, no, fuck that shit. I choose not degrade myself by using MS Paint for some non-canonical bullshit.

Looks fun, not worth the effort.

 

[Sam G]

> SAM G: BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT.

Spoiler

Try a little ABYSMAL EX-GM'S HELL NO, *****!

Spoiler

I motherfuckin' started the Homestuck RP trend! Any o' you bastards remember "Saviours Of The Waking World"? No; o' course ya don't! Nobody even motherfuckin' signed up fer that! 'Cept fer YOU-

Spoiler

An' you're the motherfucking worst! You abandoned my metaphorical RP-cock the second it started leaking an' jumped right on somebody else's! I dub thee RP-ADULTERER!

And now... AND NOW... with the power 'vested in me by the Great God of Metafiction Andrew, I shall take this oppurtunity to fuck y'all's collective shit up!

Spoiler

BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM

 

[Pappytech]

>Various GMs. And CJ: Well, this certainly took a turn for the bizarre a while back. I must admit, I'm enjoying watching the three of you scurry about, acting as though you have all the power in the world at your disposal. And why? Because you can draw a few pretty pictures? You may have artistic talent that I'll never be able match, but that doesn't matter. This is my world, bitches, my words create the very reality you find yourselves in. I am every Consort, every Underling, every Denizen who exists in this world. I am the Guardian of the Lands that orbit Skaia, the True Ruler of Prospit and Derse. I am the GodMonster.

So I don't need your pretty pictures or talent to mess you up. Because, you see, I've got my words. And words win wars, MoThErFuCkErS.

And on that note, I think it's time for a rave party.


And as for you, Sam G, you have no power here. This is not your world. This is my creation, my realm. You may have been all-powerful a while back, but you're nothing before my power! Muhahahahahahaha!

 

[WafflesandBacon]

>Waffles: Grind on random people
You do so profusely.

 

[Connor Lonske]

>Original Cool Guy: Use your one real life ability.

heh heh heheh, watch as ur art is al SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF IFIDED!

 

[Pappytech]

>Greg: You manage to clear out a large number of the IMPS on the ground surrounding the tower. At this point, they don't prove to be much of a challenge to you.

However, your attacks draw the attention of the OGRES and BASILISKS. You're approached by 5 OGRES and 2 BASILISKS.

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>Team Aldirk: Your attacks awake the strange creature. It slowly stands up, easily twice as tall as the GICLOPS you've encountered thus far. Stretching its six arms, it seems to be trying to shake off the last dregs of sleep.

After a moment, it looks down at the two of you. You can see that its head is encased in a large helm, one that has three bright red points forming a triangle in its center.

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>Xavier: Sadly, you don't have enough Boondollars to leave an entire Boonbuck. You do, however, leave all the Boondollars you currently have on DI's table. It breaks underneath all their wait, annoying DI.

As you exit the HUT, you can see that DI is scribbling something on his tablet. You look around, but fail to see any enemies to grind on.