Welcome to Sburb! (Dead and Over)

[Pappytech]

>Chas:

OOOOOOOOoooooooooeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhh. poof.

After the CLIMATIC LIGHT FLASH... nothing really happens. You feel a bit sick actually. You should probably not eat CRUXTITE PUMPKINS in the future.

Not that you should be worrying about any of that now, you are in ever increasing danger! A quick glance out your BEDROOM WINDOW reveals a speck in the sky, a red-hot, flaming, ever-growing speck. That's getting closer and closer. To your house. Not a good thing.

CRUXTRUDER TIMER: 2:03.

 

[CJ1145]

> Dirk: Watch PCHOOOOOO

Spoiler

You absolutely FAIL to WATCH THE PCHOOOOOO. It is simply too bright. You switch away and try to figure out what to do until you hear from your friend again. You decide to see if anyone else is in the game yet, to WARN THEM OF IMPENDING DOOM.

Hmm. Your CHUMROLL is oddly empty. Where is everyone? You send out a GENERAL MESSAGE asking if anyone else is in the game yet, and a suggestion that you try to LINK SERVERS, as CRAZY SHIT is about to go down.

 

[Pappytech]

>Chas: Once you finish carving Oliver, he begins to GLOW...

Wait, was that what you were supposed toX2 CLIMATIC FLASH OF LIGHT COMBO!

Blinded by Oliver's sudden flash, fall to the ground, momentarily stunned. The ground around you begins to shake; you can hear crashing sounds coming from the KITCHEN, accompanied by cries of dismay from your FATHER.

The rumbling intensifies more and more, until it feels like you're entire house is going to be destroyed! And then, as the shaking reaches its climax...

When you regain your sight, the first thing you notice is the change in outside lighting. Instead of the fiery red that had been threatening to destroy you a few seconds ago, you see a calm, almost soothing glow. In addition, you can no longer hear the sounds of the bustling city; they've been replaced by the gentle tinging of what sounds like wind-chimes.

GEORGE-MICHEALSPRITE is floating beside you. Although he's still only emitting SMOOTH SAX RIFFS, you can't help but feel like he's saying something, something that you can almost hear...

You've entered the Medium.

Welcome to SBURB.

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Get to playing

All right, no more horsing around. It is time to PLAY SBURB! But how? If only someone could conveniently bother you about it.

Spoiler: Show pesterlog

-- ghostKnight [GK] began pestering stabsSalesman [SS] at 18:35 --
GK: Greetings Dirk
SS: =]=> Hey what's up
GK: I hope its not too rude of me to ask
GK: but do you have any idea why it has gotten alot darker then usual outsie :/
SS: =]=> What didn't you get my message
SS: =]=> I've been telling everybody
SS: =]=> I think this game is more important than we realized
GK: Lovely
SS: =]=> The sky is dark because there are fucking meteors coming down on the earth
GK: Oh that can't enter well
SS: =]=> And I think we have to complete at least part of this game before that happens
SS: =]=> I'm in it with Chas right now and he made a special item with the pre-punched card and the totem it made
SS: =]=> And then there was a flash and now I can't see him because the screen is so bright
GK: This sounds like something in one of my books i hope you know
SS: =]=> Yeah well if you don't watch out those books are gonna burn
SS: =]=> Speaking of which are you anybody's server player yet
SS: =]=> I'd kind of like to get started before I die a fiery death
GK: Not yet,its been hard to get ahold of anyone today
GK: But ill be your guy of sorts
SS: =]=> All right, cool
SS: =]=> Have you installed the host disk thing yet
GK: Yes I have installed both as it stands
SS: =]=> All right great see if you can find mine and Chas' server and connect to it
GK: Ok one sec
GK: Ok there it is...I think...computers were never my forte...give me a book anyday
SS: =]=> Try and save your ass from a meteor with a book
SS: =]=> Anyways you connected yet
GK: Yes I believe i have....pretty colors I must say
SS: =]=> OK, well, take a look at the controls and get acquainted with them
SS: =]=> You'll need to build some shit
GK: Ok I will try to stay clear of the bathtubs
SS: =]=> Chas told you about that I suppose
GK: Yes
SS: =]=> Well fine
GK: I will be using your bed as a test
SS: =]=> OK hey if you see my sis give it a good toss at her
GK: Hmm interesting I can phase objects through walls it seems
GK: And back your bed goes,easy controls really
SS: =]=> That would have been great to know before I sent tubs crashing through walls
SS: =]=> Anyways you're looking for something called a phernalia registry
SS: =]=> In it's this thing called a Cruxtruder that you need to place
GK: I see it...but I may have to clear space to set it up :/
SS: =]=> Set it on top of my sis' game table nobody's gonna miss that shit
GK: Interesting.....I hope you won't get mad...but I think I just accidently deleted your bed....
SS: =]=> Delete
SS: =]=> How the hell do you delete a bed
GK: I don't know
SS: =]=> Oh holy shit my bed is actually gone
GK: All I know is I clicked it and it was gone...it gave me something called build grist for it though :/
SS: =]=> What is this
SS: =]=> I don't even
SS: =]=> Fine whatever
SS: =]=> Just set down the Cruxtruder
SS: =]=> I guess that's where I'll be sleeping now

Spoiler

Spoiler: Show pesterlog

GK: Ok there goes your Cruxtruder where the bed was
GK: Looks like something Beth would build :/
SS: =]=> Impossible
SS: =]=> It hasn't tried to eat me or call me mama yet
GK: Ill take that as a good sign then
SS: =]=> OK timer says 7:16 gotta move fast
SS: =]=> We have to get that cap off the top
SS: =]=> Even though I hate to say this...
GK: Till what or do I want to know?
SS: =]=> No you don't
GK: Goody
SS: =]=> Let's just say it involves the aforementioned fiery death
SS: =]=> Even though I hate to say this go get my bathtub and smash the cap off
GK: Ok rushing to save friends life time and working on it
GK: Is that a steel d20 I see?
SS: =]=> OH FUCK WHERE
GK: On the ground outside your door...looks like a tripping hazard >.>
SS: =]=> On the floor
SS: =]=> Why the hell would she leave it on the floor
SS: =]=> Doesn't matter I guess
GK: I wonder is it heavy enough....one way to find out

 

[ArcNitemare]

>Greg:Get bored

Your bored of looking on the INTERNET so more PESTERING CHUMS.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

[06:35:39]
[06:35:45]
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You boot up the GAME,ignoring the many THINGS that are being INSTALLED and SETUP.Not like any of that will come into PLAY later or anything.After a few minutes of searching a LIST of rooms you locate the room CHAS and DIRK are using.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

[06:42:38]
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You spend a few minutes LEARNING the CONTROLS of the GAME,mostly phasing a BED back and forth until you think you have a good IDEA of how the CONTROLS work.You set the BED back where it was.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

[06:46:04]
[06:46:27]
[06:46:31]
[06:46:42]
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Or so you THINK as when you click on the BED again,it disappears and in its place you get something called BUILD GRIST.You HOPE he doesn't get mad.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

6:47:54]
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While the BED is gone,at least you now have enough ROOM to set the CRUXTRUDER.And with a CLICK that task is DONE.You think you are starting to get the hang of these CONTROLS.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

[06:49:30]
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As you rush to save your FRIENDS life from the HORRIBLE FATE that may befall him if you don't you spot,outside his DOOR on the floor what looks like a solid STEEL D20.You decide to ask your FRIEND about it.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

[06:51:25]
[06:51:34]
[06:51:55]
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You CLICK on the STEEL D20,drag it over to the CRUXTRUDER and DROP it on the lid.The lid BREAKS open and out pops what looks like a GLOWING DISCO BALL to you.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

[06:52:27]
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You look upon the thing your FRIEND called a KERNELSPRITE and can't help but feel like your getting a SEIZURE just staring at it.

You wait PATIENTLY for your FRIENDS return.A little while LATER,He returns.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

[07:02:52]
[07:02:55]

With slight reluctance you grab the ITEM your friend shows you and throw it in to the KERNELSPRITE.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

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Well,aleast you seem to be helping your FRIEND make some progress with his GAME.You are still curious as to the FUTURE IMPLICATIONS of it all but you decide to worry about that later.

Spoiler: OOC

A bit long of a post but I wanted to break it down so peeps could see what my character is doing

 

[Pappytech]

>Dirk: A quick glance at your COMPUTER shows you that Chas is alright. You have no idea where he is, but he's alive. Which is more than you can for yourself if you don't set this WEIRD PUZZLE SHIT sorted out. The good news is, your inital assumption that the CRUXTRUDER'S TIMER would be start at 7:16 was incorrect; you've got 1:04:16 before destruction by METEORITES.

Greg's timely actions managed to open the CRUXTRUDER, allowing a gray CRUXTITE DOWL and KERNALSPRITE to exit the mechanism.

Luckily, after going through this same process with Chas, you know what you have to do. After picking up the DOWL, you look around for something to prototype the KERNALSPRITE with.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Greg: While Dirk is running about, you examine your CONTROL INTERFACE. After getting the hang of the CONTROLS, you examine what other items you can DEPLOY.

You see the TOTEM LATHE and ALCHEMITER that Dirk described to you, as well as the PRE-PUNCHED CARD, but there also appear to be a few new items. First, you've got the JUMPER BOARD. Next is a PUNCH DESIGNIX. Finally, you see a disc labeled GRIST TORRENT.

Spoiler: Jumper Board

Spoiler: Punch Designix

Costs 4 Chalk Grist to deploy.

Spoiler: Grist Torrent

Costs 100 Build Grist to deploy.

Speaking of grist, you check your tab to find that you've got 202/200 units of Build grist. You suppose that deleting the bed gave you the extra 2 units.

 

[senorcromas]

>Rich: Tear your eyes from the spandex

You use all of your might to avoid eye contact with the DREADED PANTS. Still, it beckons. Calls out to you.
No...NO!

>Sprint to the DINING ROOM.

You try to SPRINT as far from the fabric as fast as possible. In the process you trip over one of your UNCLE's several STATUES OF HIMSELF and trip down the STAIRS.

Boy, that sure would've been crazy to see. You are certain you would laugh uncontrollably for hours, losing control of all bodily fluids, had you not been the victim. You get up and walk into the DINING ROOM.

 

[CJ1145]

Spoiler

Well, now you've got this FLIGHTY BASTARD of a KERNALSPRITE. What do you do with it?

> Dirk: Prototype?

Spoiler: Show pesterlog

GK: and it would appear to be heavy enough
SS: =]=> I finally understand why a d20 broke my shades
GK: Is that a disco light that came out of that thing?
SS: =]=> I
SS: =]=> I guess it does kinda look like that
SS: =]=> OK this thing is called a Kernelsprite
SS: =]=> Some sort of magical guide ************
SS: =]=> You have to fuse it with something
GK: Like a faimilar?
SS: =]=> Yeah I guess
SS: =]=> Hold on let me think of an item to fuse it with
SS: =]=> I have got it
SS: =]=> Fuse it with this fucker
SS: =]=> http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs46/f/2009/150/a/8/Burning_Gundam_by_impossiblynormal.jpg
GK: Ok....and done

Spoiler

Spoiler: Show pesterlog

SS: =]=> Yes
SS: =]=> Hell
SS: =]=> Fucking
SS: =]=> Yes
GK: It turned from a disco ball to a mecha disco ball?
SS: =]=> Yes and that is so awesome
SS: =]=> All right we gotta move fast
SS: =]=> Put down the Totem Lathe
SS: =]=> The Alchemiter
SS: =]=> And the pre-punched card
SS: =]=> And I'll handle the rest
SS: =]=> Oh and toss me my sis' phone if you can find it I need to talk while I'm on the run
GK: ok but I don't think there is enough room in here so I'm moving out into the living room
SS: =]=> All right that's cool
GK: Ok,I put her phone on your table...it would also seem she is not here or atleast I don't see her :/
GK: And a few deleted furnishing later...I have put all of the stuff in the living room,one against each wall
SS: =]=> All right sweet
SS: =]=> And she's here
SS: =]=> I'm certain of it she just hides whenever she thinks somebody's watching
SS: =]=> Which is now always so I guess she's pretty much invisible now
GK: What is she a ninja too?
SS: =]=> Nope
SS: =]=> At least ninja have the decency to kill you when they're done humiliating you
SS: =]=> She lets it drag on 15 years
GK: I wonder what her reasoning is behind all of that...Ok we are getting ahead of ourselves and I'm not like the look of that countdown :/
SS: =]=> Anyways I have to do this thing now so I'll get back to you when I'm done
GK: Roger
GK: Good Luck /bow

You grip your SIS' PHONE tightly and prepare for the RADDEST GAME OF YOUR LIFE.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Spoiler: Pappy

I edited my post.

 

[Pappytech]

>Rich: The DINING ROOM is empty, save for a few of your guardian's ECCENTRIC KNICK-KNACKS.

It looks like the SBURB DISCS aren't here. Nuts.

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>Xavier: OPRAHSPRITE begins to rapidly hover up and down. You guess that's her equivalent of FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT.

The CRUXTRUDER TIMER is set for 30:45. Looks like you've got some time before things get urgent. It might be best to calm down a bit and plan your next steps out with your SERVER PLAYER.

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>Connor:You watch disconcertingly as Xavier proceeds to have a FLIP THE FUCK OUT FEST with OPRAHSPRITE. This is why you don't particularly like this kid. Way too hyper-active.

While waiting for Xavier to calm down, you examine your CONTROLS. You've got the basic move, revise, and deploy controls.

A quick look in your Phernalia Registry reveals that you can deploy the TOTEM LATHE, ALCHEMITER, PRE-PUNCHED CARD, JUMPER BOARD, PUNCH DESIGNIX, and GRIST TORRENT DISC.

Your Grist Cache currently has 2,000 units of Build Grist, and not much else.

 

[senorcromas]

>Rich: Curse your terrible luck

There's no time for that! You have no idea when your UNCLE will be back from jogging, and you should probably get the DISKS before he gets back, lest you face the.... no, you don't even want to think about that right now. Nope nope. You decide instead to check into your LIVING ROOM

>Check LIVING ROOM
There is no DISK here. Or anything, really. Your UNCLE just likes to call the empty room a 'LIVING ROOM', for reasons you will never fully comprehend. To you, it just seems like a waste of a perfectly good room. Oh well.

>Go outside
You decide to check your mailbox, to see if maybe they had just been dropped off.

 

[Pappytech]

>Chas: Once you get downstairs, you realize you can't hear your FATHER anymore. However, you still can't get to the KITCHEN, since the CRUXTRUDER is blocking you.

GEORGE-MICHAELSPRITE follows you downstairs. He seems to be trying to get your attention.

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>Rich: As you check the MAILBOX, you are elated to find a SBURB PACKAGE! Yay!

But wait, what's that coming up the street?... Crap, your UNCLE'S almost back!

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Be an awesome friend.

As you fumble about your HOUSE, trying to get all of this CRAP to work, you stop by your COMPUTER to check on Chas. To your amazement, you can now see him. You look at his HOUSE and the surrounding area and have no choice but to FLIP THE FUCK OUT.

However, as you are doing so you notice that he is stuck outside of his KITCHEN. Being the AWESOME FRIEND you strive to be, you toss his BATHTUB through the wall, opening up a second passage into the KITCHEN.

 

[Connor Lonske]

>Connor:Build stuff and stuff.

You don't really remember what anything does at the moment, so you build a Alchemiter in the living room and a Totem Lathe in the second floor hall, which is the widest of the halls. They look like this.

Spoiler: ALCHEMITER

Spoiler: Totem Lathe

You attempt to pester Waffles but he doesn't respond. You wait around watching him run away from the OPRAHSPRITE. You are pleased.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

> Xavier: Calm the hell down!
You can't! It's OPRAH in Sprite form!

> DON'T MAKE ME GIVE YOU DISCONCERTING OGLE!
You calm down. You then notice Connor has placed some new machines in your house.

> Xavier: Question Connor about the machines
My phone shakes in my hand.
You are still in shock, you can't exactly text very well, you'll talk to him later.

> Xavier: Inspect the machines
Yup, those are definitely machines.

> Xavier: Throw something at them.
What!? Hell no! You remember what happened last time you threw something at unknown objects! Yuo don't want another OPRAHSPRITE!

> Xavier: Check your
27 minutes and 18 seconds, that's enough time to do...whatever you have to in the time allotted.

 

[Pappytech]

Spoiler: OOC

Connor, thank you for reminding me I can still post pictures of the machines. I'll have a few posted in my earlier posts in a few hours. GM fail.

>Dirk: Now that you can view Chas' KITCHEN, you can clearly see another LARGE HOLE in the opposite wall, leading outside the house. A quick glance around the room shows you some CUTLERY embedded in the walls, scratches along the floor, and a mysterious white substance on the floor. There also appear to be a few large white gem-shaped objects lying around. You also see Chas' FATHER'S BRIEFCASE sitting on the counter.

Wait, what the? You could have sworn you saw something move outside of the LARGE HOLE. Probably just your imagination though, all these shenanigans are making you a little jumpy.

CRUXTRUDER TIMER: 58:07

Build Grist: 14/20

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>Xavier: While it's kind of fun examining the new machines, you can't really seem to do anything with them. You managed to fit your CRUXTITE DOWL onto the TOTEM LATHE, but that's about it. Maybe you need to have another item deployed before you can progress.

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>Connor: You watch Xavier's fruitless efforts as he tries to figure out how to use the new machines you just deployed. Looks like he could use some help.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

> Xavier: Watch the Crutixe Dowel spin
I do so.
Its...Its oddly enchanting. You calm down.

> Xavier: Pester your unofficial therapist.

Spoiler: Show pesterlog

[02:05] LA: DIRK!
[02:06] SS: =]=> What is it
[02:06] LA: Look, I know this sounds weird.
[02:06] LA: But I just created Oprah!
[02:06] SS: =]=> Let me guess with that kernelsprite thing
[02:07] LA: Yeah!
[02:07] LA: Anyway!
[02:07] LA: Just help me get my hate of her!
[02:07] SS: =]=> Well I'll try
[02:07] LA: Please!
[02:07] SS: =]=> But I don't really know how to help someone get their hate
[02:07] SS: =]=> I'm not even sure I know what that means
[02:08] LA: Get rid of!
[02:08] LA: Yuo know what I mena!
[02:08] SS: =]=> What you mean like get rid of the sprite
[02:08] LA: No!
[02:08] LA: HELP ME NOT HATE HER!
[02:08] SS: =]=> Oh
[02:08] LA: YOU CANN'T CHANGE SPRITES!
[02:08] SS: =]=> Hm
[02:09] LA: I think...
[02:09] SS: =]=> Let me think
[02:09] LA: I don't know...
[02:09] SS: =]=> Would you hate Oprah less if she was also part something else
[02:09] LA: Like Deadpool or William James?
[02:09] SS: =]=> I
[02:09] SS: =]=> I guess
[02:09] LA: ...
[02:09] SS: =]=> Those weren't my first choices but I guess that works
[02:09] LA: That's not bad idea.
[02:09] SS: =]=> Do you have anything of those two lying around your house
[02:10] LA: I have posters
[02:10] SS: =]=> Well toss the poster at the sprite and see if it overrides the Oprah or something
[02:10] LA:
[02:10] LA: Dirk your amazing!
[02:10] SS: =]=> I try
[02:10] -- lionizedAnon [LA] changed their mood to CHUMMY --
[02:11] SS: =]=> I don't know why you made an Oprah sprite to begin with though
[02:11] SS: =]=> I tossed my Gundam figurine at it and it is so fucking amazing
[02:11] LA: I got angry at the orb!
[02:11] SS: =]=> Oh I see
[02:11] SS: =]=> Well now you know
[02:11] LA: That's sounds amazing though
[02:12] SS: =]=> Yeah this guy is gonna be my best friend we are going to destroy this game
[02:12] SS: =]=> Our hands are burning red ************
[02:12] LA: Dude, you're so fucking lucky)
[02:14] SS: =]=> Yeah well I think we're going to need these sprites
[02:14] LA: Yeah...
[02:14] LA: Unfortunatly'
[02:14] SS: =]=> I'm looking at Chas' kitchen right now and I don't know where the hell his house is
[02:14] SS: =]=> We went through all the stuff on the guide with making items to break and shit
[02:14] SS: =]=> And then there was a big glow and when I could see again his house was on some giant fucking pillar in the middle of nowhere
[02:15] LA: ?
[02:15] SS: =]=> And now there's all sorts of white goop in his kitchen and I can't find his dad and there's a giant hole in the outer wall of said kitchen
[02:15] LA: Wow.
[02:15] SS: =]=> Just felt I should mention that it looks like this game is about to get pretty fucking hardcore
[02:15] SS: =]=> Get your strife specibus ready and all that shit
[02:16] LA: It's all motherfucking ready
[02:16] SS: =]=> Good
[02:16] SS: =]=> Well I have to get back to work on my own session
[02:16] SS: =]=> We should link ours up soon though
[02:16] LA: I'm already with Connor unforutaly
[02:16] SS: =]=> So
[02:17] SS: =]=> My server player still needs a server player
[02:17] SS: =]=> And it sounds like you still need someone to be server player to
[02:17] LA: I'd be happy to play as a server if I survive Connor
[02:17] SS: =]=> Well once you get through the thing that stops the countdown check back in with me
[02:17] SS: =]=> We'll get this all set up
[02:18] LA: All right
[02:18] SS: =]=> OK cool so good luck with your Oprah sprite
[02:18] LA: Thanks man!
[02:18] LA:
[02:18] -- lionizedAnono [LA] ceased pestering stabsSalesman [SS] at 14:18 --

> ==>
I search in my room for something awesome.
YES! This motherfucking awesome! All you need is something awesome to counter out Oprah lameness!

 

[Connor Lonske]

>Connor: Remember the guide bro!

You seem to remember that you have to use card to do stuff. You pester Xavier.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

-- backroomSix [BS] began pestering lionizedAnon [LA] --
BS: Xavier, I know what we need to do with those mashines
LA: I know what to do with Oprah!!!1
BS: You need to put in a card from your deck and-what?
LA: All I need to do is throw Deadpool at her!!!1
BS: ...Deadpool oprah, sounds stupid
LA: Fuck y-
LA: ...
LA: It kinda does.
BS: Well what else are we supost to do?
BS: Turn of the game?
LA: Why would you wanna do that?
BS: Didn't say that.
BS: Well, just do something to oprah and get it over with
BS: I got something to tell you after you finish
LA: Fine?
LA: What?
BS: We need to do something before the timer goes to zero or game over
BS: Forgot how it kills you thoguh
LA: Wait what?!!!1
LA: You mean like Game Over?
BS: Like you die. Yes
LA: In real life?
BS: I guess so...
BS: I mean, your in real life now
BS: So, who knows?
LA: Well
LA: Fuck
LA: How the fuck did no one tell us this
BS: I'm gonna do more reading in the guide, you fix oprah
LA: This is like motherfucking Saw!!!1
BS: The old guide did
BS: I though it wasn't refering to real life death though
-- lionizedAnon [LA] rolls eyes --
BS: Whatever, I'm gonna read over the guide, you do stuff.
LA: Just don't let me die, Cool guy
BS: Your welcome
-- backroomSix [BS] ceased pestering lionizedAnon [LA] --

OK, you go read the guide over quickly and find out how to craft items.