Welcome to Sburb! (Dead and Over)

[ArcNitemare]

>Greg:Start putting an idea into motion

You listen and nod intently as ID and MH tell you about the Black Queen,stuff that you pretty much already knew.I have heard she is a cruel and evil person.I know very well what she is willing to do. You tap your fingers on both their shoulders then give a mischievous grin that slowly spreads across your face.

You dislike the Black Queen right?And you wish to steal a future?Then how would you like to do something that no one has ever done before.

You give them another big hug before stating How would you like to steal the very future the Black Queen has planned herself?

 

[Pappytech]

>Dirk: As you sit down, the SPHINX smiles in answer to your question, showing off a mouthful of fangs as she does. "Pretty much, yes. I'm assuming that you've heard some variation of the classic myth and riddle, so I won't bore you with the details."

The creature stretches, smiling as her spine cracks loudly. Gesturing with her wings, she points at a small doorway behind her. "As you may have guessed, that's the passage you need to take to continue along. If you answer my riddle, then I'll allow you to pass, with no need to pay the customary toll. However," she continues, shooting you a mischievous glance, "There is another option available to you.

"It should go without saying that my riddle is quite puzzling; I can't recall a single being who's answered it in all the time I've been here. So, I've taken to offering an alternate challenge: Tell me a riddle I've never heard before. If it's one that is truly new to me, then I will allow you to pass. What's more, if I particularly enjoy your riddle, I might be tempted to reward you."

The Sphinx yawns luxuriously, her half-closed eyes never leaving your face. "Well, what will it be, Hero?"

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>Rich: Good enough for me!

You and Chas find yourselves landing in the middle of a desert, near a small pond of water and several verdant palm trees. Surrounded by the customary Underlings, blah blah blah, GIANT SCORPION.

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>Greg: "Er... Maybe. What exactly did you have in mind?"

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Think back, and find your riddle.

You have to admit, you are SHIT at solving riddles. The only time you ever got one right, it was a Lord of the Rings reference. No, if you're going to solve this SPHINX'S CHALLENGE, you're going to have to come up with a riddle. You think back to better days, something like two years ago now.

You and your SIS are sitting in the GAME ROOM watching the FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST: BROTHERHOOD collection you purchased. You hate buying the DVDs when you could pirate them, but this is an experiment. Your SIS has complained about your shitty ANIMES one too many times, and you've managed to force her to sit through all 63 episodes of BROTHERHOOD leading up to the climax. On the screen, Greed is breathing his last breath.

Your SIS throws up her hands and declares bullshit. She thought that Greed was supposed to be evil, like the other homunculi. How could just end up being some friendship freak this whole time? You tell her that there's more to Greed than just being, well, greedy. The whole series is filled with subtext about them. They all fulfill their cardinal sin, but not in the normal way. For example, Lust had literally zero sex drive; her only passion was BLOODLUST. And Wrath was not some ravenous slathering beast, but a cold and calculating man who struck at his foes with sheer ruthless force; and in his own way, he used that same fierce attitude toward protecting his wife, his one true human connection. In that same way, Greed may have on the outside been a being of avarice, but his true form of Greed was not bad. It was a benevolent want. He may have been somewhat selfish to desire friends, but the point the show was trying to make was that we are all selfish, in our desire for friends, family and love. And that is not a bad thing.

You mull it over a bit, and decide that that isn't so bad a jumping point. You stand up and take a deep breath. Your speech starts off slow, but picks up and gains rhythm as you go.

"Of all the cardinal sins of old
Of gluttonous frenzy or lust for gold
The cardinals themselves would hold
That avarice was most foul and cold.

The stinking want for ever more
To dig for shiny stones through gore
And slash the throats of all in your path
No fool would dare oppose your wrath.

But some might say this greater sin
Holds true benevolence within
Tell me, Sphinx, if you can see
The warmth inside that comes from greed?

 

[Pappytech]

>Xavier: Finally have that one thing finally happen. Finally.

Spoiler: Show Duel-log

LA: *Punches GS*
GS: GS responds by swinging a wrench at your face.
LA: *Falls to the ground and quickly gets back up with an uppercut*
GS: *Takes the blow without flinching. Grabs your wrist and lifts you up in the air.*
GS: Is that really all you've got, punk?
LA: Can't you think of my creative lines!?
LA: *Kicks in the jaw*
GS: *GS' neck snaps back; however his grip fails to loosen.*
GS: What's this? Are you trying to break me?
LA: Well, duh! That's what a fight is!
LA: *Kicks again*
LA: To break!
GS: *A bit of blood starts dripping out of GS' grinning mouth.*
GS: Huh, I never thought of it that way before.
GS: Maybe today will be fun after all.
LA: Like I say, learn something new everyday!
GS: *Slings you back, and hurls you across the hanger, right for one of the walls.*
LA: *Kick*
LA: Ow...
LA: *Rushes toward with left hook*
GS: No.
GS: *Catches your wrist in-between the teeth of his wrench*
LA: *Whisper*
LA: Fuck.
GS: *Begins to tighten the teeth, slowly crushing your limb*
LA: Goddamit!
LA: *Flies off and throws GS to the ground, wrench still on wrist*
GS: *Holds on to the wrench, refusing to let go. Is carried into the air.*
GS: Whew, now this is getting interesting!
LA: Really? Didn't notice!
LA: *Rapidly shakes arm*
GS: *Unwinds his wrench, landing on top of a nearby building*
LA: Ha!
LA: *Flies down, fist cocked*
GS: *Proceeds to hurl the wrench at your face, putting enough force into the throw that it becomes a blur*
GS: *Wrench bounces off you, returns to GS' hand*
GS: Ah ah ah, not so fast.
LA: *Pained, holding nose* Once this over, you got to teach me that.
GS: Once this is over, you'll be in several pieces!
LA: Fair enough!
GS: *Leaps up towards you, swinging wrench while screaming*
LA: *Quickly dodges and grabs the wrench*
LA: *Spins*
LA: Round and round we go!
LA: Where we stop-!
LA: *Throws*
LA: I only know!
GS: *Slams into the side of a building, his body making a small crater in the wall.*
LA: *Flies down*
GS: Wait a minute...
LA: Ready to give up?
GS: I know this story...
GS: The hero gets knocked down, at the mercy of the villain, who holds his life in his hands...
GS: But then, just when it seems all hope is lost...
LA: The heros' friend rides in?
GS: *Grins maniaclly as blood runs down his face*
GS: He gets back up!
LA: Wait, you're not the hero!
LA: I am!
GS: *Launches himself at you, headbutting you in the gut, pummeling you with punches and blows*
LA: I AM THE HERO!
LA: *Lands a couple of blows*
GS: I AM GOING TO TAKE YOU APART!
GS: *Grabs one of your arms; dislocates it.*
LA: FUCK!
LA: *Punches with good arm*
GS: You've put me in one insufferable mood! I REALLY DON'T LIKE YOU!
GS: *Grabs your fist, begins squeezing your fingers in an iron grasp*
LA: I ONLY WANT TO HELP!
GS: *Fingers begin cracking*
LA: *Lifey glow*
GS: Hello? Now what's this?
LA: I only wanted to save Skia and everyone else!
LA: *Overpowers*
GS: *Releases grasp, falls to the ground far below. Lands relatively uninjured.*
GS: Hmm... It seems I couldn't break you.
LA: But, you 'Dersites' can't just make peace!
GS: So what does that mean, exactly?
GS: If I can't break you, then what does that say about you? About me? About this whole story?
GS: Are you unbreakable, even for me?
GS: NO!
LA: No you idiot!
LA: You can't break peace!
GS: *Slams his wrench into the ground, knocking up concrete and debris around him*
GS: NO NO NO NO NO! I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THIS!
GS: *Slams again and again and again*
LA: You will fucking stop!
GS: Is this a sad story?! A happy one?! Some kind of farce?! HUH!?
LA: Its an epic!
GS: *Suddenly stops.*
LA: The main character, being me, saves Skia and his friends!
GS: No.... no no no no no no no no no.
GS: You almost had me... but no, that can't be right.
GS: That's not the story I'm telling.
GS: You! You're wrong! And if you're wrong, then that means there must be something wrong with you!
LA: We all have our story and they all interconnect!
GS: Which means that I need to fix you!
GS: And the only way I can do that...
GS: *Starts to spin wrench.*
GS: Is by breaking you down until you're nothing but scrap!
LA: I kinda like philosphy, but I break you into something new!
GS: Oh yeah? *Points wrench at you* And what might that be?
LA: A peacekeeper, a follower if you will, of my path.
LA: A path of peace!
LA: The X-ROAD!
LA: *Makes an X with arms*
GS: ...You realize that sounds incredibly stupid, right?
LA: I'll break Skia, the Battlefield and anything for peace!
LA: Screw you, it'll happen!
GS: *The two of you are suddenly interrupted by the hanger next to you imploding into a pile of burning debris.*
LA: What the hell, DAD!
LA: MR. ADLER!
GS: (For reference, that was Connor's dad who was with yours.)
GS: (Not Chas'. His dad is still imprisoned somewhere.)
LA: (Goddamit, why do I keep thinking that?)
GS: (Hell if I know.)
LA: *Runs in*
LA: Dad!
LA: DAD!
GS: *The two Guardians are nowhere to be seen*
LA: Dad...
LA: Dad, no...
LA: Where...
GS: *Also, GS totally runs up behind you, and begins choking you with his wrench*
LA: Really?! You're going to do this right now!?
GS: Yeah.
GS: Kind of pissed, in case you hadn't noticed.
GS: Now stop struggling, and break!
GS: *Plants a foot in your back, starts pulling back on your neck, stretching your spine.*
LA: *Flies off*
LA: Let's take off!
GS: *GS effectively has you pinned; he's applying enough weight that you can't lift*
LA: *Lifey glow*

LA: *Grabs knives and slices GS' fingers*
GS: *GS' grip on his wrench is weakened; the tool drops from his hands*
GS: Huh? What's that?
LA: *Picks up wrench* I'll be taking this.
LA: *Pockets* I'll heal you later, now can we talk?
GS: *Stares at his fingers, at the now exposed muscles and dripping blood.
GS: *
GS: Is... is that what I look like on the inside?
LA: Yes, its what we all look like. The story doesn't change.
GS: What story is this?
LA: I told you before, there is no one story.
LA: All stories are interconnected!
LA: Its the epic!
GS: *GS attention snaps back to you*
GS: Stop talking nonsense!
GS: *Throws a punch your way*
GS: Of course there's only one story! My story, my sad story, my happy story! It's the only one that matters!
LA: *Dodges, and leaves a slash on his cheek*
GS: The rest of you are all just side characters!
GS: *Continues assaulting you, with punches and kicks*
LA: What a fool.
LA: *Floats back*
LA: Why can't you listen?
LA: There is never one story.
GS: *GS sighs, drops his arms and slumps to the ground.*
LA: Tired yourself out?
GS: Oh, what does it matter. Do what you want.
LA: I just want to heal.
GS: Heal what, exactly?
GS: I don't give a damn if you're a Prince or whatever, who are you to come down here and tell me how to live?
LA: Well, everything, really. At a young age, I just saw how dark and cruel this world was and I couldn't do anything about.
LA: But now-
LA: *Lifey glow*
LA: -I can.
LA: *Flies down*
GS: So? You think some fancy glow means that you know how everything works?
LA: No, but it means I can fix.
GS: And what makes you think that your way of fixing something is right?
LA: I don't. But, that's a thing of life (hee hee), you have no idea how one minute detail will send everything swirling out of control.
GS: ...And your point is?
LA: I-...
LA: I forget.
GS: Somehow, I'm not surprised.
LA: *Chuckles*
LA: I got caught up in my own philopshy...
LA: So, ready to give up?
GS: Fine, whatever. Do whatever you want.
LA: Awesome!
LA: *Touches GS' head*
LA: Now be warned, I only tried this on a Basilisk, so I don't know what'll happen!
GS: Wait, what?
LA: *Exorts all Lifey energy into palms*
GS: *After a few moments, GS stands up, fully healed*
GS: Huh. What do you know.
GS: *Punches you in the face.*
LA: Yay! That works!
LA: Well, fuck!
LA: *Punches back*
GS: What the hell did you expect me to do?
GS: *Takes the blow, retaliates*
LA: *Dodges, stabs leg*
GS: *Grabs arm, dislocates it.*
LA: Fuck, I forgot to heal myself!
GS: *Proceeds to deliever a huge number of punches towards you*
LA: *Flies away from the beatdown*
LA: This is the thanks I get?!
GS: Why should I thank you?!
LA: For not killing you, maybe!?
GS: Why does that deserve thanks?!
LA: Because I easily can!
GS: Then do it already!
LA: No! I'll solve problems the peaceful way!
GS: Then at least give me my wrench back!
LA: OK, here you go!
LA: *Fake throws*
LA: C'mon, how stupid do you think I am.
GS: Asshole.
LA: Wait, don
LA: t
LA: answer.
GS: Pretty damn stupid.
LA: I just sai-!
LA: *Breates out*
LA: *Mumbles* Peaceful, X, peaceful...
LA: *Out loud* Look, I could easily kill you, I already killed that Hulking Brute and bunch of other guards, and countless underlings and possibly two denizens. I don't want to any more than I have to.
GS: Then let's finish this then! Come on already!
LA: *Facepalm*
LA: No, you idiot, I just want to talk.
GS: Then I'm leaving.
LA: What then?
GS: I don't know. Stuff.
LA: 'Don't know', you say?
GS: Yeah.
LA: Well, well, well, what kind of story is that? The main character can't move anywhere, such a shame...
GS: Grr... Just because I can't think of a plan right now doesn't mean I won't be able to later!
LA: *Perks up at the word 'plan'* Sigh, I guess you're just another Generic Soldier, you're story sucks.
LA: *Yawn* Just looking at you makes me bored.
GS: Hey I'll have you know that my story happens to be absolutly brilliant, and that in a few short hours, I'll have...
GS: *GS descends into a rambling rant*
LA: *Fake sleeps*
GS: Grr... *Picks up a nearby piece of flaming debris, and hurls it towards you.*
LA: *Is hit* Hey, I was having a good time thinking about all my plans!
GS: Screw you kid!
GS: *Begins angerily stalking off*
LA: *Follows*
LA: You know if you're real nice, I could let you join in.
GS: *Slams a fist into a nearby building, leaving a small crater*
GS: Oh yeah?
GS: What kind of punk-ass job would you have for me, huh?
GS: What could you possibly offer that would be worth my time?
LA: *Backs up a little* Simple, get me into the castle, I kill Queen, and gather the Guardians and the story will be exicting!
GS: No no no no no no no no NO! That's a stupid plan. I wouldn't even get to break anything.
LA: How about this ,we still one of the ships, crash into the castle and kill her from there!
GS: What ships? You mean the ones under a hundred tons of burning rubble?
GS: Genius! How did not I think of that?
LA: Oh shuddap!
LA: I'm thinkin'...
GS: Kid, what makes you think I even want to kill the Queen in the first place?
LA: Its my destiny, of course!
GS: ...It's your destiny to make me want to kill the Queen?
LA: No, you idiot, its your destiny to help me! Your story, your magmum opus!
LA: It will be the greatest thing you've broken!
LA: The Queen herself!
GS: ...Say that again?
GS: *GS stops walking, and actually turns around to look at you.*
LA: The greatest thing you've broken? The Queen herself?
GS: ...
LA: What do you say?
GS: I... huh.
LA: Flabbergasted, no?
GS: Say "The greatest thing you've ever broken" one more time.
LA: The greatest thing you've broken!
GS: *Shrugs*
GS: Okay, I'm in.
LA: Atta boy! *Pats shoulder*
GS: Don't touch me.
GS: *Walks past you.*
GS: Come on, I'll get you your ship.
LA: Awesome. *Hands wrench*
GS: *Grabs it out of your hands, begins spinning it around.*
GS: Why do I get the feeling I'm going to regret this?

GS leads you back over to the MASS OF BURNING WRECKAGE THAT USED TO BE A HANGER, and begins to dig through the rubble, tossing aside beams and chunks of roof. Eventually, he manages to make a hole in the detritus, and drops through into the belly of the ruined building.

You can hear the whirring and grinding of machinery for the next few minutes, until the roaring of an engine cuts off all the other noise. A thrown-together pile of scrap and spare parts rises out of the wreckage; by all rights it looks as though the jalopy should be stuck at the bottom of a trash heap. Nevertheless, GS pokes his head out of a window, and waves you over.

"Come on! Get in already."

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>Dirk: As you deliver the final lines, the Sphinx purrs in appreciation. "Ooooooh. Now that is a good one; isn't it? Love the wording and structure; you're a regular little poet, aren't you?"

Rising to her feet, the creature begins to pace around you, her eyes never ceasing to stare at you. "Now, the answer's a little obvious, isn't it? The selfish desire for friendship, if I'm not mistaken. Can't say it's exactly a new concept." She lets out a sigh as she sits down in front of you, seemingly lost in thought.

"What to do, what to do? On the one hand, it's been ever so long since I've had a guest, let alone one so clever as you. And that truly was a treat; I'll be sure to remember that one. On the other, it's been quite a while since I've last eaten..."

With a chuckle, she comes to a decision, rising up and walking over to a hidden alcove. "I suppose that based on the wording of my challenge, you've gone ahead and passed, haven't you? I did ask you to tell me a riddle I've never heard before, and that was the first time I heard that particular wording. Very well then."

Reaching into the alcove, she picks up an oddly shaped package, and tosses it to you. "I would advise that you don't open this until you really need it. It has a habit of being useful the first time you use it, and being worthless every time after that."

She points a paw towards the passageway behind her. "Well done, my young hero. Feel free to go on ahead. Oh, and do come on back if you so desire. I always crave a bit of company."

 

[ArcNitemare]

>Greg:Give answer to question

I would like you to first understand that you are in no way shape or form being forced into this.I'm not like that.Unlike some of my friends... You look over at Chas' still sleeping dreamself when you speak that last sentence. I have no intention of throwing either of you into danger.

You take a moment then compose yourself then continue What I need right now is someone to undermine what the Black Queen is trying to do right now.Nothing too extreme.Especially nothing that would get you hurt or even killed.And besides you give another mischievous grin at the pair then say I'm sure there has got to be something that the Black Queen has that you must have always wanted.

 

[CJ1145]

Dirk: Advance

You catch the reward as it is tossed at you. You nod at the SPHINX in appreciation.

"I will be sure to do that, if SBurb deigns it acceptable to take a break from all this insanity. By the way, on the subject of your next meal, there's a white -suited Dersite traveling around. He's dangerous so I would advise caution. But if you can take him, I assure you he would not be missed.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

>Xavier: Giddily jump in
You love it when a plan comes together. Its like magic unfolding before very eyes!

>Xavier: Tell GS to fly into the castle

 

[Pappytech]

>Greg: "Um... not that your plan doesn't sound interesting, but... what is it exactly that you're suggesting? Keeping plans vague probably isn't that great of an idea."

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>Dirk: "Oh, don't worry. If he finds his way down here, I'm sure we'll have an absolutely delightful time."

The SPHINX delivers her parting worlds as you advance down the passage behind her, hurrying along. Surprisingly, this passage has no twists or turns, no branches or dead-ends. It's just a single hallway, covered by hundreds of glowing runes.

It was with the utmost care that the Builder completed his penultimate work, a pair of artificial wings, perfect in every detail. A masterpiece, meant to bring joy and happiness. However, he could not have accounted for the actions of the Thief.

Following the passage, you eventually come to another massive area. However, instead of some kind of arena or something, you find yourself staring at a literal lake of fire. In the center, just above the tops of the flames, is a stone platform. Considering that there is nothing else of interest in the entire area, besides the tongues of fire flickering around and stuff, you suppose that the platform must be your goal.

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>Xavier: Rolling his eyes, GS begins to grumpily pilot you to the Palace, grumbling all the while.

As you soar over Derse, you note all the conflict tearing through the streets. Squads of soldiers and regulators run from place to place, trying to quell panics, riots, and quell the occasional blaze or collapsing building. In addition, large groups of Dersites are in pursuit of a few solitary figures, who always manage to keep just ahead of their carapaced pursuers.

Soon, you approach the Palace, avoiding the various other aircraft zooming around Derse's airways. You notice that a large plume of smoke is rising from the center of the building, and faintly hear the crash of metal against metal far below you.

 

[ArcNitemare]

>Greg:Reveal your idea to the duo

Well its less of a plan and more of an idea you point out to the two of them but what my friends and I really need is more time to come up with an effective plan to take her down.But in order to do that we need the Black Queen's attention focused elsewhere.The less she knows of what is happening,the better.

You take your hands off the pair,slowly walk over to the window and put you hands on the sill as you lean against it,looking out onto Prospit.I completely understand if don't want to do it as making yourselves allies of the Heroes,such as myself,will make you an enemy of the Black Queen.

You give a nod,more to yourself then anything,then turn around and look at the zany duo
What I would like to do more then anything is save the people of both Prospit and Derse.And to do that I'm going to need all the help I can get.

You think chuckle and say So in short,and incase I've confused you two in anyway,what I would like for you to do is go nuts on the Queen and get her attention off us.

 

[MetroidNut]

>Rich: Take lead; be hero.

You SHOOT at the GIANT SCORPION.

Wow! That sounds really boring, doesn't it?

Diving to the side, you execute your standard BATTLE PLAN of CHORALE OF CHEER followed by STRETTO BURST! You begin CIRCLE-STRAFING, firing your WEAPON OF DISTINCTLY ALIEN NOMENCLATURE at the SCORPION'S STINGER! That seems like it would be a weak point, right? Well, it's worth a...

Shot.

http://mirrors.rit.edu/instantCSI/

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Fly, you fool!

Spoiler

With your mighty JETPACK you make your way across the fiery RAVINE. You can't help but wonder if this is some kind of trap. This seems FAR too easy compared to that boss battle. Even compared to the SPHINX, really. Is this the end? Or maybe you're only beginning to delve into the madness?

CJ: Speaking of madness...

You know, it really has been a long while. Old wounds were buried away, best left forgotten after that strife-filled time so long ago. It has mostly been forgotten, now... or has it? Maybe this particular man has a bone to pick still. Maybe he still has a few tricks up his sleeve. Maybe... he's out for BLOOD.

Spoiler

What do you say, Sam? Up for another round?

 

[Pappytech]

>Greg: ...

Welp. There goes the Universe.

Shrugging, ID and MH repel out of the tower, leaving you and Chas alone.

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>Rich: Woo being the hero away from Chas with a snazzy, passionate musical number. Also with MUSIC BULLETS.

As you begin your ARDENT AUDITORY ASSAULT, your Fray-Motifs begin to do their respective jobs, CHORALE boosting both your and Chas' general moods and STRETTO surrounding your enemy in a veritable minefield of GLOWY ENERGY SPHERES THAT YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T TOUCH. AND YES, I'M USING CAPS-LOCK INDISCRIMINATELY AT THIS POINT.

You note that, although your Fray-Motifs obviously take effect, their strength and potency seem to have degraded slightly from near-continuous use.

Moving on.

You're somewhat disappointed to find out that the SCORPION'S STINGER is not in fact a weak point, and actually turns out to be one of the strongest armored places on the creature's body. Its thick scales (Scorpions have scales, right? I'm not going to lie, I'm doing zero research for this bit.) are nearly impervious to damage, and barely dent as your W.O.D.A.N.'s shots ricochet off.

You brace yourself for what will surely be a long, grueling boss battle, one that will last several hours of in-game time, which translates to a couple weeks of real-time. There is no doubt in your mind that the following fight will be one of legendary status, a strife that will be recorded as one of the greatest in all of history.

And then your W.O.D.A.N.'s blasts bounce into the SCORPION's real weak point, a small point just below its left claw. The monster explodes in a pile of Grist and GIANT-SCORPION GUNK. And SCORPION SCALES. Which are totally a thing now.

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>Chas: Be the Angel of Death. Yeah, it's time to get some LORD GEORGE GORDON BYRON all up in this *****.

Ahem. Like the leaves of the forest when summer is green,
That host with their banners at sunset were seen:
Like the leaves of the forest when autumn hath blown,
That host on the morrow lay withered and strown.

For the Angel of Death spread his wings on the blast,
And breathed in the face of the foe as he passed:
And the eyes of the sleepers waxed deadly and chill,
And their hearts but once heaved, and for ever grew still!

Simply put, you kick ass. Nice job with that.

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>Dirk: Delve into the madness? Well, that would depend somewhat on your definition of madness. If you're talking about Lovecraftian monsters creeping in the shadows, driving men insane with a single look, about the ramblings of a long-forgotten prophet, preaching the fall of man and life, about the words scrawled on the side of a padded room, their shade uncomfortably close to blood-red, then no, you're not delving into any sort of madness here.

If, however, you consider a LAKE OF FIRE suddenly gaining sentience, shifting its shape into that of some terrifying beastie and pursuing you to be madness, then yes, you are most certainly delving into some of that here.



As you begin to soar towards the STONE PLATFORM, you hear an earthshaking roar from beneath you. Looking down, you see that the churning blaze seems to be reaching up towards you, white-hot fingers seeking to ensnare you in their burning clutches. As you dodge the initial tendrils of flame, a large chunk of the fire rises towards you, shifting and swirling into strange and terrifying shapes. The head of lion, its wild mane shaking in a torrential wind. A thousand flailing serpents, spitting tongues of flames. A motherfucking puma man.

So yeah. Madness. Enjoy.

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODGE!

As you remember the words of your wise teacher, Piccolo, you flail like something between an idiot and a buffoon mid-air. It works, for the moment, as the fire-rape snakes manage to miss you by a smidgen. But you doubt that's going to work again. Your instincts are telling you to run, but you're thinking that you might be able to make some kind of counter. A being made of FIRE isn't exactly something you'd prepared for in advance. In retrospect, though, it was almost inevitable. You slap yourself on the face and try to think of a plan as you dodge further attacks.

"OK, so, this thing looks kinda--WAAAH!--big. Something tells me Time powers aren't going to do much on this thing. Which is, frankly bull--SHIT!--so, uh, wait, what about this fucker? Maybe it's more than a one-time use?"

You whip out WRATH, or as you like to call it BUSTGUTS, combining the first and second shows that came to mind when you picked up this abomination of crudely-fashioned iron. You remind yourself to ALCHEMIZE it with your BUSTER SWORD if you ever get home. Just to see what comes out.

You swing down at a few passing SNAKE HEAD FIRE THINGJIGGERS, to see if BUSTGUTS is capable of hurting the FIRE-BEAST.

 

[MetroidNut]

>Rich: Take being the hero into your arms. Whisper hilarious joke into her ear. Giggle along with her. Loving embrace.

You collect the GRIST and a few SCORPION SCALES instead.

 

[SamuelT]

>GMfAU: Oblige

Gladly

 

[ArcNitemare]

>Greg:Be completely unaware that you have possibly doomed the Universe

You smile and wave as the two of them head off on their mission.

Once they are out of sight though,a slight frown spreads across your face.You really hope that you didn't just send them off on a suicide mission.But you all need more time.Hmm..more time.You will have to talk with Dirk about that next chance you get.But for now,you have to get back into the Waking World.

You give the room you are in a once over,Chas,or more correctly Dream Chas,still asleep in his bed.Part of you wants to go and slap him for nearly blinding you earlier.But on the other hand that wouldn't be very Knightly.Or Heroey.So instead you decide to just leave him as is.You contemplate leaving a note but decide against it.Far better that he doesn't know you were here.

You give the room another once over then hop onto the window sill and jump out of the Tower,taking a moment to enjoy the freedom of flight before returning to your Tower.

As you slink over to your Dream Bed,you can't help but be concerned.The Black Queen has you MOTHER,Prospit is defenseless and a trap is possibly waiting for the Fleet.

But you won't give up hope.And you will continue to strive for a better end.

With that,you toss yourself onto your bed and close your eyes,allowing yourself to slowly drift away.

>Greg:Return to the Waking World

 

[Pappytech]

>Dirk: Luckily for you, the eccentric deity responsible for crafting the lore and reality of all that you see has, for a variety of different reasons, decided against boring you to death by explaining, in painful detail, the origin and abilities of BUSTGUTS, and will instead provide you with this simple tutorial of its use: Yes, BUSTGUTS is capable of dealing damage to non-physical beings.

With the cry of a plant man alien guy ringing in your ears, you swing the massive blade through the air, slicing through the necks of several FLAME SERPENTS KAJIGGERS. With a cry of pain, the decapitated beasts split into clouds of sparks and dwindling lights, quickly fading away into nothingness.

That's the good news. The bad news is that you've still got most of a giant lake of fire after you.

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>Greg: You find yourself waking up once more, in your house back on LOCAF. What with the IMPS and the SALAMANDERS and the VOLCANO on the next tower over. Yep.

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>Chas and Rich: Again with the portals. For the first time, the two of you are sucked into the MONTAGE-PORTALS for the last time. ...Yeah, that's right.

As you travel through several decidedly non-Euclidean dimensions, the two of you level up!

Chas is a level 52 Perilous Chancellor!

Rich is a level 36 Galvanic Tussler!

After a short journey of several billion time-cycles, you find yourselves appearing on some fog-shrouded plateau, seemingly in the middle of nowhere. Directly before you lies a massive MONUMENT, a STATUE OF AN ANCIENT KING. Parts of it are made of gold, others of sliver, some of iron and yet others of clay. In one hand, the statue clasps a broken spear; in the other he holds a wilted olive branch.

You have no doubt that you're looking at the result of someone trying to be symbolic and pretentious, but who clearly has no idea what they're doing.

Scattered around the base of the statue is, surprisingly, an INORDINATE AMOUNT OF GRIST, the kind that could only be dropped by a BOSS OF EPIC PROPORTIONS, but who is conspicuously absent.

"Hey, it's about time somebody else showed up! I've been waiting around here for what feels like hours; talk about boring. I don't suppose either of you guys knows how to get out of here?"

Looking up, the two of you are able to spot a figure standing on top of the MONUMENT, waving down at you. Though he's quite a ways away, you are able to tell that instead of black or white, the figure seems to be colored green.

 

[Pappytech]

>God-Monster: Be a contender.

What's the old saying? A picture's worth a thousand words? Well, here's a few hundred, so that's about? 1/2 of a picture, I guess.

Spoiler: Here Comes a New Challenger

The youth stands in the center of a desolate plain, staring steadfastly towards the horizon. He is alone in this solitary place, surrounded only by half-dead trees and the moaning howl of the relentless wind. The earth he stands upon is choked and lifeless, its sole offering a thin coat of dirt and dust. The sky above him is grey and empty, devoid of birds or clouds. It is a lonely place, one that only the foolish would choose to tread upon.

The lad does not pay attention to his surroundings, however. His gaze is not drawn towards the trees with their dried, brown leaves pathetically clinging to their branches. His ears do not listen to the keening cry of rushing air. He does not react as the clouds of dust and dirt blow past him, their tiny specks stinging against his flesh. Instead, he stares far, far into the distance, to a place he cannot see, hear, or feel, but he nevertheless knows is there.

At first glance, the boy does not seem to be threatening in the slightest. Tall, thin, and lanky, his slight frame looks as if it could be snapped like a twig, his spectacled eyes betraying no signs of rage or anger or desperation to survive. However, when subjected to a more thorough examination, there is a certain? something to the youth, a secret power or hidden quality that gives him strength. Where does this sensation come from, this sense of power and might that envelops the boy?

Surely it is not in his clothes, little more than a light blue t-shirt and a pair of jeans. His accessories are likewise unimpressive, a scratched and slightly askew pair of glasses, and a sole ring of silver carried on his right hand. A shock of brown hair speaks of one who has skipped a much needed haircut, but does not speak of might or strength.

All in all, the lad is rather unintimidating; his most threatening feature being his arms folded across his chest.

Then, he nods.

The air around the youth roils and ripples, as though being churned by a pair of enormous, all-encompassing wings, a crackling like that of electricity crawling across its surface. Simultaneously, the ground beneath the boy cracks and splits, fissures and craters spider-webbing through the dust and dirt. Pebbles and clumps of earth rise into the air, swirling about the figure, slowly crumbling into specks as they twist and shift through the air.

Surrounded by this aura of power and destruction, the youth simply stands there, hair and clothes billowing in the rushing wind. A smile slowly creeps across his visage, as he continues to gaze into the distance. His body shifts ever so slightly, muscles tensing and joints bending as he prepares himself for the oncoming storm.

Suddenly, the wind halts, the small, earthen satellites halting their orbit as the boy speaks, his voice carrying far across the desolate plain: ?Bring it on.?