What do guys get nervous about?

[jamesworkshop]

Any nerves would be killed by my extreme desperation so I'm going to say no

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

I'm 20 years old and haven't been on a date or had my first kiss. I can contribute nothing to this topic but self-pity.

Got any room left in that there box? If yes, mind if take a seat?

A few years younger than you guys, but can I join that club?

Totally.

Hmm, maybe my cave's a better movie place. there's a quilt topped queen size bed, a bar fridge, tv, consoles and a large selection of games/dvds.

Much, much better than my little room.

So we're moving the virgin club to my room and then kicking me out because I don't belong?

Yes. We are stealing your room. And no, you don't get mine in exchange.

I could just hang around and educate?? We're up to three now right?

Okay. But since it's your house, you also have to provide the snacks.

 

[Ironrose]

Hmm, maybe my cave's a better movie place. there's a quilt topped queen size bed, a bar fridge, tv, consoles and a large selection of games/dvds.

Much, much better than my little room.

So we're moving the virgin club to my room and then kicking me out because I don't belong?

Yes. We are stealing your room. And no, you don't get mine in exchange.

I could just hang around and educate?? We're up to three now right?

Okay. But since it's your house, you also have to provide the snacks.

I can do that as long as you choose the movie we wont watch.

 

[Sandernista]

Sex really doesn't make me nervous.

When I make food, or clothing, or anything for another person I start to freak out about whether or not they're going to like it.

 

[Baldry]

I get nervous about asking girls out and stuff of that nature, but If I ever am in a relationship with someone I never get nervous about stuff except when it comes to breaking up. Sex is a thing I am yet to experience but whenever a lady is with me in the bed I'm usually not nervous or anything but I'm unlucky and the sex never happens due to mothers and time and other things.

 

[Geo Da Sponge]

You know what I think is a problem (and by 'problem' I mean 'not really a problem')? Sex education in school (for guys, at least) basically goes like this:

1) Put on a condom.
2) Stick it in.

Budding teenagers are then left with porn and sit-com innuendo to explain the specifics. They have to bridge the gap between theory and practice, as it were.

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

Hmm, maybe my cave's a better movie place. there's a quilt topped queen size bed, a bar fridge, tv, consoles and a large selection of games/dvds.

Much, much better than my little room.

So we're moving the virgin club to my room and then kicking me out because I don't belong?

Yes. We are stealing your room. And no, you don't get mine in exchange.

I could just hang around and educate?? We're up to three now right?

Okay. But since it's your house, you also have to provide the snacks.

I can do that as long as you choose the movie we wont watch.

We won't watch...Austin Powers 2.

 

[CloakedOne]

I mostly get worried about getting overheated. During sex, I find that I need a lot of air circulation or my body will pretty much shut down and say "nope, it's too hot, no sex right now" and I'll start to lose my arousal. It makes me wonder if any other guys have to deal with that sort of thing. Also, I have TMJ so my jaw gets tired pretty easily and I'm afraid when I'm giving oral sex that I won't be able to satisfy her before the pain really starts to set in. Those are the main things, I think. pretty me-specific, I guess.

 

[Flamezdudes]

Nothing to do about sex but I am incredibly shy and have trouble attempting anything in starting some sort of relationship with somebody because I also worry too much and think about the scenarios of what could happen in things all the time.

Yeah, I really hate myself at the moment.

You'll get over it. I was paralyzing shy in high school. Then, when I went to college, I ended up staying in an apartment in the slums. I was suddenly surrounded by people who wanted to beat the crap out of me and take everything I owned, have owned, or will ever own.

I had to get over my shyness or, no exaggeration, I would have been killed.

So, I'll pass on the same knowledge a friend passed on to me.

"You care too much."

That's the problem. You're wrapped up so much in what may or may not happen. "What if she doesn't like me? What if she laughs? What if she does like me and I screw it up." When you live in a world of "what if" you're always going to be this way.

Stop caring.

When you can do that it's all down hill. You will have to work on your socialization skills because they are likely stunted from your years of being shy. Mine sure as hell were. But that's solved by making friends with social people which you'll be able to do when you stop caring.

That's the great difference between a social person and a shy person. It's not that he's stronger, or braver, or more capable. A social person just doesn't care what people think of them and thus is free to say whatever he wants to whomever he wants.

Talk to a girl you've never seen and that you're sure you'll never see again. So what if she likes you, or she hates you, or she even snubs you. You'll never see her again so her opinion doesn't matter a damn thing. That was my first step. After that I took a 180 and slowly became completely obnoxious because suddenly I was liberated of all my fears. I calmed down after a while but wow it was a trip.

I'm generally fine with talking with anyone normally its just when its someone I like. For example its difficult for me to go ahead and talk to this girl I like considering she's around her friends a lot.

I guess I do care a little too much about what others say actually... hmm.

 

[joshthor]

i still get nervous asking girls out but i flirt or get handsy without much nervousness mainly because i almost only hang out with girls. (i only have a few guy freinds)

 

[googleback]

I'm in a year out before uni to try and get a career going, So everyone I know is pretty much gone, even my family most of the time. its been hard finding a job even though i'm qualified out the ass for temp work. I sometimes get nervous that i'm becoming a recluse because there isn't much to do where I live but MY CATS TELL ME THATS NOT TRUE!

its going to be a boring fucking year. I've taken up game design and the guitar as a hobby which is going quite well, but only because right now i'm a fucking lazz haha.
come uni i'll be fine, its just boring right now.

 

[pluizig]

Stamina, and taking a long time to get off. I'm reasonably fit, I just take VERY long.

Or to put it differently: taking so long without being able to achieve orgasm that I tire both myself and my girlfriend out.

 

[Ironrose]

Orgasms. That complex vagina is like a Rubik's Cube. I guess it's a little irrational though, since I've both heard and read that orgasms don't matter so much to women, and even without getting one of those going, it seems my girlfriend gets a feeling so much better than I will ever feel. It also kind of helps me feel better about how I can't figure out her vagina sometimes when she says she can't figure the damn thing out either.

Umm wherever it said orgasms don't matter much I wouldn't trust that. Yes a girl will say she had sex even if she didn't orgasm where guys probably wouldn't but it doesn't mean she didn't want to or didn't mind that much. I am unlucky enough to be one of those girls who is very very very rarely able to orgasm during sex and I know it has bothered a few guys I've been with just as much as it does me, if not more so because they feel its their fault. But it is worth putting in the effort for it to happen, certain things happen while a girl is orgasming that can make things feel a LOT better for the guy.

House_Vet brings up a good one too. My girlfriend often wants a lot of...force, to the point when it "hurts so good," and I always feel awful and worried if she ends up sore and bleeding afterward.

Look unless she's intoxicated most girls won't push themselves past their limit, if she says she can take it she almost certainly can, however if you're still not sure listen carefully to her, if she's actually in bad pain you'll be able to hear it in her voice.

Don't even get me started on the infamous insecurity about penis size. I'm fine now, but before the first time I got it out, I didn't know what reaction to expect. For the love of God, women in this thread, don't even make a mean joke about your guy's size and shape, at least not when you first see it. On the other hand, unprompted compliments make a huge boost in confidence. Probably the only reason I'm okay with mine now is because I get a certain compliment about it without having to ask something like "What do you think?"

Girls aren't stupid, if we're trying to sleep with a guy we aren't going to stomp on his balls because we know that wont exactly get us anywhere, it's the same with saying anything negative about his dick. I have never ever known a girl to be mean and critical about a guys size, I think we know better because we'd hate to think that he was talking about what a weird shape our boobs were.

Oh, and I doubt any guy is going to be bothered by scars and such on your skin. The way I see it, nice skin is nice because of how it normally is. I'm not going to find skin unattractive based on scars or scratches, but onwhether or not it is rough or something when it's not scarred.

Part of me does understand that but I am just self conscious, on the bright side though, my skin is only scarred because it is really delicate and soft so i guess its a sacrifice.

Also apologies for the essay.

 

[Darkauthor81]

snip

I'm generally fine with talking with anyone normally its just when its someone I like. For example its difficult for me to go ahead and talk to this girl I like considering she's around her friends a lot.

I guess I do care a little too much about what others say actually... hmm.

Well here's one last bit of advice for you then.

Most relationships don't work. You want them too. But the VAST majority fail miserably and usually immediately. When I get nervous about talking to a cute girl, which I still do some times, I just remember that and it reminds me that this interaction doesn't matter.

Nothing to do about sex but I am incredibly shy and have trouble attempting anything in starting some sort of relationship with somebody because I also worry too much and think about the scenarios of what could happen in things all the time.

Yeah, I really hate myself at the moment.

You'll get over it. I was paralyzing shy in high school. Then, when I went to college, I ended up staying in an apartment in the slums. I was suddenly surrounded by people who wanted to beat the crap out of me and take everything I owned, have owned, or will ever own.

I had to get over my shyness or, no exaggeration, I would have been killed.

So, I'll pass on the same knowledge a friend passed on to me.

"You care too much."

That's the problem. You're wrapped up so much in what may or may not happen. "What if she doesn't like me? What if she laughs? What if she does like me and I screw it up." When you live in a world of "what if" you're always going to be this way.

Stop caring.

When you can do that it's all down hill. You will have to work on your socialization skills because they are likely stunted from your years of being shy. Mine sure as hell were. But that's solved by making friends with social people which you'll be able to do when you stop caring.

That's the great difference between a social person and a shy person. It's not that he's stronger, or braver, or more capable. A social person just doesn't care what people think of them and thus is free to say whatever he wants to whomever he wants.

Talk to a girl you've never seen and that you're sure you'll never see again. So what if she likes you, or she hates you, or she even snubs you. You'll never see her again so her opinion doesn't matter a damn thing. That was my first step. After that I took a 180 and slowly became completely obnoxious because suddenly I was liberated of all my fears. I calmed down after a while but wow it was a trip.

I'm generally fine with talking with anyone normally its just when its someone I like. For example its difficult for me to go ahead and talk to this girl I like considering she's around her friends a lot.

I guess I do care a little too much about what others say actually... hmm.

Well I have one last big of advice for you... two actually. First one is about trying to talk to women.

The VAST majority of relationship fail miserably and typically immediately. And that's even IF you get into a relationship which you most likely wont. That's just how it is. Most women are very very picky. So the interactions you're so worked up over, don't matter. Since 98% of them are doomed before you even open your mouth. Getting worked up over that 2% is just silly. When I approach a woman I drive out fear by thinking "There's no way in hell she's going to like me. But hey, I've got nothing better to do."

My second piece of advice. When you break free of your social awkwardness you'll probably end up dating everyone who shows an interest. I did. I went through a lot of nightmarish relationships that left me scarred and bitter for a long time. Be choosy, learn to like being alone, don't be afraid of being alone. Because if you jump into everything like I did, your life will become a living hell and you may very well be an emotional mess when you meet someone you could have had something with.

Every relationship you're in leaves its mark on you. So be careful.

Edit: One more thing. Women don't like to break up with you directly. They'd much rather ignore you than face you directly over it. So if she's not making any effort to contact you, it's over. Even if she's really busy, if she was really into you she'd find a few minutes to call you. If she was really into you then she should have found a few minutes.

In short, if there's no communication then it's over regardless of all other circumstances. This was the hardest lesson for me to learn.

 

[Rainboq]

I'm always nervous, I just hide it well...

I hope >.>

 

[OtherSideofSky]

Other people.
Thanks to clinically diagnosed Asperger's syndrome (on which medication has had no effect) I can't really interpret social cues at all and combined with my somewhat unusual interests (and the unwillingness of other people to have read great literature) I am almost completely unable to make casual conversation or get to know new people. As a result, not only have I never gone on a date, I've never even met a girl I really felt attracted to and wouldn't know how to communicate my interest if I did. I am very self conscious about all of this and thinking about it generally depresses me.

I used to be self-conscious about my appearance as well, but a couple years ago I started working out a lot and wearing nicer clothes, so I've become more confident in how I look.

 

[Verlander]

I'll be honest, nothing really. I'm not as physically fit as I was, but if anything, that's only improved my luck with the ladies. I'm pretty good in bed, and so once we're at that stage, I'm on the final lap. Asking women out on more serious things, like dates and suchlike is a bit harder, as I don't think I'm particularly good looking, but it's never harmed me, so that insecurity goes. Sorry my answer isn't more sympathetic to the needs of the OP

 

[Daniel Laeben-Rosen]

I think most guys, including myself get paranoid on occasion that whatever we just did wasn't quite good enough.
Then again maybe that IS just me even if I'd had no complaints so far.
But I think something most guys have in common when it comes to the bedroom, actually men and women BOTH, is the insecurity of one aspect or another simply not being good enough. Be it physical appearence or something else.

 

[omega 616]

I have a rather irrational insecurity about being on top, I just don't feel like I knkow what I'm doing in that position.

Act like Tigger from Winnie the pooh ... You can even sing the song.

Hmm, maybe my cave's a better movie place. there's a quilt topped queen size bed, a bar fridge, tv, consoles and a large selection of games/dvds.

Can I come to yours? I don't like Austin powers but LOOOVE Aus (well Tasmania is close to Aus).

On topic. The list is almost endless, in general ... I am nervous around large groups of people, drunk people, walking down the street I start thinking like who is behind me and who is around and just stuff like that. There is also planes, buses and trains, snow and ice just alot of stuff makes me nervous. I am paranoid, I guess.

Sexually ... I am 21 and the closest I have got to any kind of action is, on the odd occasion a female friend hugs me, I can feel her boobs pushed against me. I haven't even give a girl a peck on the cheek (although a friend said if she ever vists from Canada she will give me a sympathy kiss haha), so pretty much everything sexually makes me nervous at the moment.

 

[Roamin11]

My hair- OH wait in the bedroom.... Yeah still my hair, its hard to know if it still looks good when looping in and out of positions...

If it's just sex I really don't got any expectations to live up to, its just sex and I won't see this person again.

If it were with someone I love, I already know that love (if all true and magical) trumps any and all insecurities, there is no need to worry about performance when it's a labour of love!