Well sir, you've summed me up quite well. I am a failure, I accept that, and it is through my own fault that I am this way, I procrastinate, i'm too fucking lazy and I have no belief in myself.mnimmny said:Procrastinator.Im A Cuttlefish said:Drugs and Alcohol.
I am faced with the choice of trying to get myself out of a mess, attempting to better myself and eventually make something, I could become what my heroes are, I could reject how most of society works and not take the normal option, I could be in a band and live a life of excitment of adventure.
...
(Note: I have not given up on my dream, I believe it is achiveable, and I still have time, I have years, but when I look forward and think of what i'll be, I don't see myself being in a band, I see myself taking drugs and throwing my life away).
Convincing yourself you still have time and that you have the potential and then never doing anything about it is almost worse than just giving it up entirely. You're basically running away from having to prove yourself and to anyone that matters.
Obviously YOU DON'T WANT IT BAD ENOUGH. Keep running like a coward and keep telling yourself that you could do it but its not worth it, it doesn't matter, or you still have time
that stupid mantra is a fucking security blanket and sucking your damn thumb.
keep it real. have enough self-respect to not lie to yourself.
Life's about as meaningful as you make it... ...which is probably why you find it so meaningless.I know I can change it, but really, why? What's so special about life? It's a meaningless existence where all we do is work and follow the conventions of society until we retire, at which point we live out our last days totally unhappy and left alone by the family we created because they are young and trying to be different to their parents, when they will turn out exactly like us.
Seriously, even if you're right, at the end of the day it comes down to self-respect: will you have it? will you have lived a worthy life in your own eyes? What's the point of an existential crisis if you can't even please yourself?
Even though I'm being tad judgmental here, your little existential crisis is a fucking security blanket to keep you safe from viewing yourself as a failure because your little procrastination nonsense is less painful for you to deal with than seeing yourself as a loser and working your way out.
Stop being so emo and stop lying to yourself
So, happy about being right?
There is no "security blanket" for me, that is my problem, I don't understand why i'm willing to give it all up because it is a dream I have, when I look at what I could be in the future, the one thing that I would love to be is in a band, but I still don't have that drive.
For me, I pick the easy option, I will get out of hard work and am a lazy fuck, so obviously I mustn't want it bad enough.
So thinking on that, that is what ruined my life, I don't have enough balls to achieve a dream i'm not even sure I really want, but it's the only futre I can see where i'd be happy.
Oh, and don't call me an emo, at no point to I ever ask any of you to care, I don't think my problems are the worst thing ever, nor am I affected by something incredibly trivial, all it is, is that I am worried about my future, and that I can't see myself ever achieving what I want because i'm lazy, if you want to care, that's fine, if you want to help me out or jsut give me wise words, great, but do not assume I require attention and am going to go and cry and cut myself if you don't, just don't judge me for being less of a person than you because I don't know if i'll make anything of my life.
(And to cheer up the mood- Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he had NOBODY to go with *kneeslap and mirth*)