Why bother making 'friends'?
- Thread starter Mikodite
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I'm really not saying this to be mean:
Do these things:
Get a good night's sleep. Go for a long walk. Not the sort of excursion like Tycho Brahe; wearing a motorcycle helmet with a dark visor. Get some sun. On your skin. When you see people do not avoid them. If you pass near enough, say hello. If they want to chat, stick around for a bit, idle banter is not life-threatening.
Repeat as necessary.
This is *good* for you.
I'd like to write 'good' in big neon lights on a stainless steel base, because this font just doesn't have the expressive power.
Look. It's not 'the-world-will-end-if-you-don't' critical that you make friends. If you want to you will, and if you don't want to, that's cool too. There are now seven billion people in the world. If you can't find one or two that you like, then swing by and see me. Cause you must live in my neighborhood!
You don't happen to have a table saw, do you?
Friends share, ya know!
Do these things:
Get a good night's sleep. Go for a long walk. Not the sort of excursion like Tycho Brahe; wearing a motorcycle helmet with a dark visor. Get some sun. On your skin. When you see people do not avoid them. If you pass near enough, say hello. If they want to chat, stick around for a bit, idle banter is not life-threatening.
Repeat as necessary.
This is *good* for you.
I'd like to write 'good' in big neon lights on a stainless steel base, because this font just doesn't have the expressive power.
Look. It's not 'the-world-will-end-if-you-don't' critical that you make friends. If you want to you will, and if you don't want to, that's cool too. There are now seven billion people in the world. If you can't find one or two that you like, then swing by and see me. Cause you must live in my neighborhood!
You don't happen to have a table saw, do you?
Friends share, ya know!
Emo emo emo, whine whine whine, ***** ***** *****, why does nobody love me.
You're telling this to a SOCIAL COMMUNITY! Stop being so angsty for attention, and if not attention, then grow up.
You're telling this to a SOCIAL COMMUNITY! Stop being so angsty for attention, and if not attention, then grow up.
The bad is what helps you truly appreciate the good. Without one, there can't be the other.
Such is life.
Such is life.
Friends are vital if you want to function as a sane member of society.
Sure, you can go without for a few years, but then again you can go without exercising for years. Eventually it will catch up to you, and eventually it needs to be done. Only making friends is a lot harder than exercising.
Your brain needs social interaction, it needs to find affection in other people, and to be gratified. You really don't want to hear the Hikkimori horror stories. Bottom line, friends are important, and if you don't want a friend strictly speaking, have a 'mate' then, a buddy to get this human requirement filled at the very least.
Sure, you can go without for a few years, but then again you can go without exercising for years. Eventually it will catch up to you, and eventually it needs to be done. Only making friends is a lot harder than exercising.
Your brain needs social interaction, it needs to find affection in other people, and to be gratified. You really don't want to hear the Hikkimori horror stories. Bottom line, friends are important, and if you don't want a friend strictly speaking, have a 'mate' then, a buddy to get this human requirement filled at the very least.
It sounds like you've never experienced love with a friend.Mikodite said:
There are different kinds of friends. There are those you need to hang around with all the time in order to maintain the relationship. There are also those you meet whenever you can, be it months in between or years. The person will always be happy to see you.
And the reason people do these things that will always end in complete disaster (like getting close to another person when we know that the one thing living creatures have in common is death) is because life is short, and it is singular. Everything we do is what we can do, so what we can do should be what we want to do. You don't get second chances.
My point is; Just because you haven't experienced the real deal doesn't make it meaningless nor unreal.
That made me laugh verily sir, free hugz for you! Its true too.DarkRyter said:
http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2009/8/12/128945502973139889.jpg
I tend to have strong acquintances so to speak, not friends in the classical sense(that will be there for you all the time and such). It's somewhat funny cause I have kept in touch with people I've known since highschool and we do share common interests(mostly games), we hang out from time to time(mostly to game but we do stuff outside of that as well, going to a pub etc.) and while I do enjoy myself, after 1-2 hours, my brain(which supposedly craves social stuff) is telling me "this was nice but why don't you go do something else". As in I enjoyed it but not THAT much.
For me, the George Carlin method still works best "I like people, but in short bursts". I don't claim that I am some enlightened being but most people bore me to death after a while, even people I like and want to be around again. Maybe I am more of a lonesome person that I thought. I don't think being a hermit is an option but there are people who don't really crave social interaction all that often.
For me, the George Carlin method still works best "I like people, but in short bursts". I don't claim that I am some enlightened being but most people bore me to death after a while, even people I like and want to be around again. Maybe I am more of a lonesome person that I thought. I don't think being a hermit is an option but there are people who don't really crave social interaction all that often.
That's an awful state of mind.
Some friends do come and go, so then you make new ones. Out of my old ones, maybe 1 or 2 still talk to me. Instead of crying, I made new friends.
I still can't believe people think, "All people are shit until they prove themselves worthy" so those self righteous twats seem to think it gives them the right to treat everyone like shit.
Gonna guess OP is younger than 20 years old. They should hopefully grow out of it, I used to be really miserable and attention seeking years ago too.
Some friends do come and go, so then you make new ones. Out of my old ones, maybe 1 or 2 still talk to me. Instead of crying, I made new friends.
I still can't believe people think, "All people are shit until they prove themselves worthy" so those self righteous twats seem to think it gives them the right to treat everyone like shit.
Gonna guess OP is younger than 20 years old. They should hopefully grow out of it, I used to be really miserable and attention seeking years ago too.
You say that every human being on Earth is a pile of garbage, so I ask you: do you think that of yourself? You don't seem to, so what makes you think you are better than every other human being on the planet?
Come back to this thread in a few years and see if you can view your post as anything other than a collection of teenage angst in text form.
Come back to this thread in a few years and see if you can view your post as anything other than a collection of teenage angst in text form.
Oh, you're going through that phase. The little "woe is me; the world is shit and no one is worth my valuable time" thing gets real old, real soon when you realise that no one likes that kid and you're lonely. It's easier to accept that life isn't short, it's the longest thing you'll ever do and it's a fuck tonne better when you've got friends and family who love you and actually want to be around you.
then make friends out of them! honestly this is beyond reasonable cynacism and has now descend into baawwing. (not other posts, just the first one) yes i know i'm gonna get a warning for this, but you REALLY need to take your head out the cave and look at the good side of life.Mikodite said:
off topic: i have some music that will make you happy; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7g8V_jJHYE off topic, but meh.
I usually stick to small groups of friends that I get to know very well, and therefore end up having for long periods of time. Sure I make plenty of other friends too, but they usually fade out and only serve as connections to more people. I usually don't get the chance to know them very well outside of however we may meet regularly. But in my main circle of friends, I've known some since around 8th grade one since 4th grade, and another since way back in 1st, and I'm in college now. By getting to know people well, you can learn if they're the type of person you'd hang out with and be able to depend on if needed. You may also learn that they're not the type of person you'd like, so it might be best to back off then. it can be hard at times to make friends based soley on first impressions of people, especially in a mindset like that. I recommend participating in some sort of social activity that involves getting to know other people very well over time. I highly recommend something like D&D. It's a fun game and by it's nature you tend to get to know you're other party members very well with time. That's how I recently formed another close circle of friends.
My hypothesis: TC is probably in their teens and recently had a seemingly good friendship go bad, or was otherwise separated from his/her friends which resulted in the current mindset. Even if they don't realize it. Also, just hanging out with people doesn't make them your friends, those are called acquaintances, i.e. people you know. Try actually engaging them in something. Invite them over to play CoD or something. See what kind of people they're like. I can tell by the post and your strict judgement on humanity that you're probably into psychoanalysis, so try to judge what kind of people they are based on what they do when playing a game like CoD with you, versus say playing New Super Mario Bros Wii.
If only there was some sort of television shoW thAT Could more properly demonstrate the value of friendsHiP and even perhaps prOvide lessons on how to achieve and eveN maintain It over timE, while Still managing to be an entertaining program for people of all ages. But that's obviously pure fantasy.
My hypothesis: TC is probably in their teens and recently had a seemingly good friendship go bad, or was otherwise separated from his/her friends which resulted in the current mindset. Even if they don't realize it. Also, just hanging out with people doesn't make them your friends, those are called acquaintances, i.e. people you know. Try actually engaging them in something. Invite them over to play CoD or something. See what kind of people they're like. I can tell by the post and your strict judgement on humanity that you're probably into psychoanalysis, so try to judge what kind of people they are based on what they do when playing a game like CoD with you, versus say playing New Super Mario Bros Wii.
If only there was some sort of television shoW thAT Could more properly demonstrate the value of friendsHiP and even perhaps prOvide lessons on how to achieve and eveN maintain It over timE, while Still managing to be an entertaining program for people of all ages. But that's obviously pure fantasy.
Well done.2xDouble said:
I don't have much to add, but you are far from the first person to suggest this. And you won't be the last. And all of the people with friends will all still (rightfully) insist that you're wrong. As you yourself stated, this belief is based on the patterns you yourself have experienced. Clearly, you have a biased sample since most others are similarly basing it on their patterns of experience and coming to vastly different conclusions.
Everything you'll ever find enjoyable or worthwhile will either end in your lifetime, or you will die.
Facts of life right there.
The thing is, you've focused on the first part... the temporal nature of your experiences. However, what you have not done is realized the second part... the temporal nature of your existance itself.
See, you're only going to be around for a relatively short amount of time. It feels like forever is ahead of you, but the fact is... it ain't. You are going to die. Accept that, and then you realize at some point, this means you're going to be dying.
You're going to be laying there, and you're going to know what it's like to feel your life burn away inch by inch. And when you do, you're going to look back on your existance. You're going to look at your life and ask yourself the fundamental question; was it worth it?
Now, you're coming to a decision fueled by a fear of loss; you're afraid of losing people so you keep them away. I can relate to that. However, it's a bad idea. Not because of the loneliness you'll feel now, but because later, when you feel death coming for you, you'll realize you've wasted your life. You'll realize that spending time with the temporary experiences makes them more valuable and worthwhile. There's a reason why people jump at once-in-a-lifetime experiences... you'll never get another chance.
Things end so we can move on; and we move on so we can experience new things. That's the lesson we learn from endings; they are opportunities, each and every one. This isn't optimism, it's survival.
Facts of life right there.
The thing is, you've focused on the first part... the temporal nature of your experiences. However, what you have not done is realized the second part... the temporal nature of your existance itself.
See, you're only going to be around for a relatively short amount of time. It feels like forever is ahead of you, but the fact is... it ain't. You are going to die. Accept that, and then you realize at some point, this means you're going to be dying.
You're going to be laying there, and you're going to know what it's like to feel your life burn away inch by inch. And when you do, you're going to look back on your existance. You're going to look at your life and ask yourself the fundamental question; was it worth it?
Now, you're coming to a decision fueled by a fear of loss; you're afraid of losing people so you keep them away. I can relate to that. However, it's a bad idea. Not because of the loneliness you'll feel now, but because later, when you feel death coming for you, you'll realize you've wasted your life. You'll realize that spending time with the temporary experiences makes them more valuable and worthwhile. There's a reason why people jump at once-in-a-lifetime experiences... you'll never get another chance.
Things end so we can move on; and we move on so we can experience new things. That's the lesson we learn from endings; they are opportunities, each and every one. This isn't optimism, it's survival.
Meh, I see friends as overrated, I'm 25 and I haven't had a single friend in about 3-4 years. I wonder sometimes if friends would be "fun" but at the end of the day I manage things on my own and I keep myself entertained. The primary reason I don't bother with people or try to become friends with anyone is because I have a really hard time trusting people, everyone always has some kind of motive or agenda or something they want out of you. That and people are fickle and can hate you at the drop of a hat. Not something I want to deal with. Better to be bored on a Saturday night than getting stabbed in the back, at least in my opinion.