You are going to be assassinated

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Trivun

Stabat mater dolorosa
Dec 13, 2008
9,830
0
0
Country: UK
Crime: Engaging in creative activities revolving around the satire and parody of the government. Books, comics, films, whatever.
Punishment: Since I'm typing this while on the toilet, I'd be killed in a Pratchett-esque way - by having a red-hot poker shoved up through the toilet... :p. Failing that they can just send Bond after me...
 

Saulkar

Regular Member
Legacy
Aug 25, 2010
3,140
2
13
Country
Canuckistan
Country Canada
Crime: Revealed that the Priminister is a puppet.
Assination attempt: They try to poison me with an allergenic unit that I lied about being vulnerable to. Bwahahahaha!
 

Hman121

New member
Feb 26, 2009
557
0
0
U.S, Jersey Shore area

Killed cast of Jersey Shore
Stole all hair gel and fake tanning supplies
Shutdown all clubs in which fistpumping is endorsed

Get attacked by Jersey mob, famous last words, "Come get me, bro."
 

MassiveGeek

New member
Jan 11, 2009
1,213
0
0
chstens said:
MassiveGeek said:
- Sweden
- I killed about a hundred idiots with a sniper rifle from the royal castle's roof.
- A really hot assassin would come after me, and we would have really awesome sex before she shot me between the eyes in my sleep.

... I don't know. XD
Are you the Laser Man?
That would be weird, considering I'm 17 years old and female.
 

Latinidiot

New member
Feb 19, 2009
2,214
0
0
Holland
- I killed the Rpyal family to reignite the flame of the Republic that so long ago was the banner of the united low lands.

-
 

zfactor

New member
Jan 16, 2010
922
0
0
Dr.Poisonfreak said:
Uk

Ripping on call of duty and halo again

Crushed to death with a giant marble Phallus ( does anyone know to which film I am referring)
Why would you want to be crushed to death by a symbol of manness? aka penis No, I don't know what film, but that is what it symbolizes...

As for me:
-USA
-Killing politicians I don't agree with
-Betrayed by someone within my organization, leading to me getting shot by 100 FBI, DHS, and CIA guys. But not before I take out some.
 

Dead_Man

New member
Nov 18, 2009
268
0
0
- Canada
- Uncovered the cover-up of Coke and Pepsi being the same thing with documental evidence.
- Death by backstabing from Spy disguised as friend
 

Lazy Kitty

Evil
May 1, 2009
20,142
0
0
-Belgium
-I'm executing plans for world domination and stole a cloning machine.
-Sniper.
-Eventually it turns out it was my clone who got killed and I continued my plans from a new and better base from where I can launch rockets.
 

zHellas

Quite Not Right
Feb 7, 2010
2,672
0
0
drbarno said:
-UK
-nicked a random guys cup of tea
-Drowned in a pool of tea.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ArsonMurderAndJaywalking
Sounds more like Disproportionate Retribution, to me.

OT:

-U.S.
-Stealing some tiny unassuming superweapon.
-Highly skilled and masterfully trained assassins sent after me.
 

Snake Plissken

New member
Jul 30, 2010
1,373
0
0
-United States
-Disproved God
-Government sends Fred Phelps to chase me down and bludgeon me with his holier-than-thou stick.
 

Baradiel

New member
Mar 4, 2009
1,077
0
0
-UK
-Discovered a conspiracy by Tory MPs to attach propulsion jets to the cliffs of Dover and physically move Britain away from Europe.
-Turn me loose on a private estate to be hunted down on horses with dogs.
 

robotam

New member
Jun 7, 2010
365
0
0
UK
-Bet my friend a tenner, that he couldn't assassinate me.
-Repeatedly slaped in the face with a wet carrot.

But the jokes on him, I didn't even have 10 pounds.
 

DanDeFool

Elite Member
Aug 19, 2009
1,891
0
41
-USA
-Ate Chinese food from a sketchy restaurant.
-Died of food poisoning.

It's totally a government conspiracy! A conspiracy to rid the world of all college students that can't cook!
 

Biffin Bridge

New member
Jun 27, 2008
54
0
0
That Guy Who Phails said:
Scotland (But I did the crime in the USA)

Building a faulty Ferris wheel.

Fibre Wire.

Cookie for reference.

EDIT: Scotland has nothing to do with the reference btw.
"I was told to make you look at this picture." Muffled sound of two silenced shots are heard.