An odd introduction to sex right? I wasn't impressed at all (or comfortable). Also, do tell your story if you're comfortable.Binnsyboy said:
Mine wasn't interesting. Just a couple of bored friends that were curious.
Your dark secrets
- Thread starter chinangel
- Start date
Recommended Videos
Mine wasn't interesting. Just a couple of bored friends that were curious.
I'm right with this guy. Fortunately I quit when I got onto the Escapist.Ldude893 said:
My other secrets.
Well I have an amazing amount of hentai manga or doujin on my computer...how much...well my best friend told me I should delete some of it. That much...
Other then that, I have a hidden dark side within me (Caged up of course) that has the "I want to set the world on fire" type of deal. Other then that I don't have any.
Unless you count that I want to fall in love with a girl like this.
Don't blame me...or kill me. It's just that I'm lonely and I can't find any girls like her...she's my dream girl damn it. I will let out that dark side if anyone insults her! D:<
I'm extremely sexually paranoid.
I'm terrified that I will ejaculate too soon, lose an erection or the woman won't be satisfied with the size of my junk.
Over the years this has turned into a massive psychological complex that I cant seem to break.
I'm nearly 30 and have spent a vast majority of it single.
fucking sucks.
I'm terrified that I will ejaculate too soon, lose an erection or the woman won't be satisfied with the size of my junk.
Over the years this has turned into a massive psychological complex that I cant seem to break.
I'm nearly 30 and have spent a vast majority of it single.
fucking sucks.
I've never felt romantic attraction. Sexual, yes, but never romantic. Not even a slight crush. I've pretended to to keep relationships going, but never really.
I don't really have a dark secret. I mean... I suppose gaming is my deep dark secret, as my mother really didn't approve of gaming past a certain age (read: high school. I have now graduated from university. Still gaming.)
Oh, oh, I know!
Despite MMO-character-evidence to the contrary, I'm a lady, not a dude. I just don't like to have people creeping on me when I'm trying to play games.
And does it count as a dark secret that I want to date a guy that is at least somewhat willing to tolerate my fondness for games? (This has been a sticking point in past relationships.) Y'know, I'll just decide that it is.
Oh, oh, I know!
Despite MMO-character-evidence to the contrary, I'm a lady, not a dude. I just don't like to have people creeping on me when I'm trying to play games.
And does it count as a dark secret that I want to date a guy that is at least somewhat willing to tolerate my fondness for games? (This has been a sticking point in past relationships.) Y'know, I'll just decide that it is.
I have few dark secrets, I tend to live as transparently as possible, lemme just say, if I haven't said it in public, told all of you of it before, or had it revealed a long while ago, then it's something that I cannot afford the luxury of revealing to anyone for any reason, and leave it at that, shall we?
I'll add that I'm not likely entirely anonymous on The Escapist. I'm Internet famous, and my associates and indeed my followers (which I apparently have for some reason) could potentially work out that I am who I am with relative ease. My name being an IRL nickname of mine, and my avatar being inextricably linked to me where I am best known.
It is, therefore, wise for me to assume that I'm not the only one of my associates who visits The Escapist, and logically there might then be agents capable of linking my "dark secrets" to vastly less anonymous Internet versions of me.
This is to be avoided, thus, I will only give you all that aforementioned "general equivalency" of my..."darkness".
As I say in my Escapist profile, I already speak very VERY uncensoredly about things on these forums.
Stuff like my convoluted series of near-relationships with women that are all friends with each other, my true opinions on political topics and religion where I don't have to worry about putting off anyone I hold dear, my general hatred for people I rather pubically keep peace with because declaration of animosity would throw my social life into chaos, etc etc etc.
Hell, I'll even bring up various "dark secrets" when they specifically apply to the conversation at hand, or if someone specifically asks me, but I'm not going to list them all in one spot.
That would be crazy.
It is, therefore, wise for me to assume that I'm not the only one of my associates who visits The Escapist, and logically there might then be agents capable of linking my "dark secrets" to vastly less anonymous Internet versions of me.
This is to be avoided, thus, I will only give you all that aforementioned "general equivalency" of my..."darkness".
As I say in my Escapist profile, I already speak very VERY uncensoredly about things on these forums.
Stuff like my convoluted series of near-relationships with women that are all friends with each other, my true opinions on political topics and religion where I don't have to worry about putting off anyone I hold dear, my general hatred for people I rather pubically keep peace with because declaration of animosity would throw my social life into chaos, etc etc etc.
Hell, I'll even bring up various "dark secrets" when they specifically apply to the conversation at hand, or if someone specifically asks me, but I'm not going to list them all in one spot.
That would be crazy.
How old are you? 19?bigfatcarp93 said:
Meh. That's not bad IMO.
I was 18.
I'll say that I assume it will happen to you eventually.
I've told several of my younger friends this, and they sort of thought I was crazy and not making sense...and then it happened to them too - one day you'll just suddenly come to realize that someone else actually matters. Depending on how intense the romantic attraction is, it could make all the difference in the world.
Love - The realization that there is someone more important to you than yourself. All the mushy crap in the world suddenly stops sounding nonsensical, all the songs suddenly make sense and take on a much more personal meaning, etc etc etc.
Depending on who you are and how it's handled, it could make or break you.
It's my sincere belief that that is the nexus from which the mightiest goods and most diabolical of evils can be forged.
I was a being of cold uncaring scientific reason and sarcastic schadenfreude. Humans, to me, were merely the bizarre creatures around that I studied and psychologically toyed with o figure out what made them tick.
The girl I first fell in love with is the absolute reason I am the completely different person that I am today.
She rejected me(my fault) but managed to handle me with absolute grace and care. In being lovesick over her and her dealing with me so perfectly she managed to rewrite my values from the ground up. Instead of giving me reason to be mad that she said no and resenting her for it if she had ignored me, or just feeling sorry for myself or whatever, I appreciated the effort she put in to dealing with me, and I admired the hell out of her wisdom and tact in being capable of doing so, for it was certainly well outside the scope of my abilities. I did nothing less than make it my absolute goal of learning from her, finding the zen, wisdom, and benevolence that she had mastered, and learning what it took to be worthy of her, or someone like her.
To one day be able to think myself her equal.
I now consider her my equal. Our friends have remarked that I have come close to challenging her as the "new Jesus". We are now both juggernauts of mental fortitude, albeit of different varieties. She continues to be more automatically charitable and volunteers for stuff more, but stress from work/school and dealing with the chaos that is people has taken a toll on her sunny optimism. I, on the other hand, am mostly armored against life and general people taking a toll on me, and, it must be said, I'm more naturally...uh...gifted, mentally. I'm a bit smarter, she's a bit wiser, but we're not far apart in either respect.
I eventually, mostly, got over her and moved on.
Coincidentally:
Recently, she has seemingly been showing interest in me all of a sudden (this is now....*calculates*....8 years later), and if all goes according to plan tomorrow, I will actually get to see her (we're both super busy people nowadays, so just actually getting to hang out with her is iffy) and ask her out. Hopefully, successfully this time.
Depending on who you are and how it's handled, it could make or break you.
It's my sincere belief that that is the nexus from which the mightiest goods and most diabolical of evils can be forged.
I was a being of cold uncaring scientific reason and sarcastic schadenfreude. Humans, to me, were merely the bizarre creatures around that I studied and psychologically toyed with o figure out what made them tick.
The girl I first fell in love with is the absolute reason I am the completely different person that I am today.
She rejected me(my fault) but managed to handle me with absolute grace and care. In being lovesick over her and her dealing with me so perfectly she managed to rewrite my values from the ground up. Instead of giving me reason to be mad that she said no and resenting her for it if she had ignored me, or just feeling sorry for myself or whatever, I appreciated the effort she put in to dealing with me, and I admired the hell out of her wisdom and tact in being capable of doing so, for it was certainly well outside the scope of my abilities. I did nothing less than make it my absolute goal of learning from her, finding the zen, wisdom, and benevolence that she had mastered, and learning what it took to be worthy of her, or someone like her.
To one day be able to think myself her equal.
I now consider her my equal. Our friends have remarked that I have come close to challenging her as the "new Jesus". We are now both juggernauts of mental fortitude, albeit of different varieties. She continues to be more automatically charitable and volunteers for stuff more, but stress from work/school and dealing with the chaos that is people has taken a toll on her sunny optimism. I, on the other hand, am mostly armored against life and general people taking a toll on me, and, it must be said, I'm more naturally...uh...gifted, mentally. I'm a bit smarter, she's a bit wiser, but we're not far apart in either respect.
I eventually, mostly, got over her and moved on.
Coincidentally:
Recently, she has seemingly been showing interest in me all of a sudden (this is now....*calculates*....8 years later), and if all goes according to plan tomorrow, I will actually get to see her (we're both super busy people nowadays, so just actually getting to hang out with her is iffy) and ask her out. Hopefully, successfully this time.
Point being, I hope it happens to you eventually, and I hope it all goes as well as it possibly can for you.
I came to the realization a few years ago that I, as a person, am simply evil. When I here about some pane crash or natural disaster or something killing several hundred I just burst out laughing. So yeah.... Oh and also I am a huge pyromanic who was once expelled from primary school for lighting the the classroom curtains up.
My god, she is adorable. What is her name, where can I find her, and is that a goddamn cape incorporated into a school uniform?StormShaun said:Well I have an amazing amount of hentai manga or doujin on my computer...how much...well my best friend told me I should delete some of it. That much...
Other then that, I have a hidden dark side within me (Caged up of course) that has the "I want to set the world on fire" type of deal. Other then that I don't have any.
Unless you count that I want to fall in love with a girl like this.
Don't blame me...or kill me. It's just that I'm lonely and I can't find any girls like her...she's my dream girl damn it. I will let out that dark side if anyone insults her! D:<
OT: I've said it before, and I'll say it again: 2D > 3D. My physical attraction to real-life women is far, FAR lower than my attraction to a well-drawn anime character. That's not to say the two should intermingle; I've seen the results of a girl trying to be an anime character through cosmetic surgery. It's... not pleasant. However, I have an... embarrassingly large hentai folder with some... questionable content hidden inside. I can't help it. I'm just a bit different like that.
Edit: Also, I fantasize about being a magical masked warrior. Kind of like a crime-fighting vigilante, but not exactly. Instead of just fighting crime, I'd also toy with people, particularly people who want to stop my own brand of vigilante justice. Honestly, I just want to act out my ideas of "right" and "wrong" without consequence and get a sort of power rush. I like feeling superior or in control, but I don't really get that feeling in my life.
See, I wonder what that actually proves.LordLucan375 said:
In just THIS thread, you will see me equate myself to Doctor Doom, and note that my friends have equated me to "the new Jesus".
I am inclined towards shining justice/good/etc, but I am utterly undisturbed by truly horrendous atrocities, and I find myself undisturbed by the idea of causing said atrocities.
Taking The Walking Dead TV show as an example, Rick Grimes has JUST NOW reached the level of brutality and comfort with doing horrible things that I find to be absolutely neccessary in a life or death situation like that. I would have infinite patience for the scared and panicked survivors who are with him and acting out of terror, but I wouldn't have hesitated to kill a troublemaker like Shane who was threatening the very stability and order within the group. I'd have no qualms eliminating any calculated threat to the ability of the people under my protection to work together to survive, even if he was my best friend and partner. Shane would've been dead in mid-season 2 if I were Rick.
I'm also very inclined towards destruction. Few things entertain me more than being unleashed on structures that I can demolish with my fists, feet, axe and sledgehammer. It's common that I get a "okay, this is going to take us a little while. Let me go get an electric screwdriver and a crowbar to speed this up" and by the time they return I've obliterated everything through sheer force and berserker enthusiasm. (I guess I can maybe attribute this to my Viking heritage?)
Terrible things can happen to thousands and thousands of people, and, as long as none of them are personally important to me, my response is usually just "That sucks. Too bad for them."
And then, on the flip side, there are several people I'd not hesitate to sacrifice everything to protect, and people who I'd fight to the death alongside, and people I'd fight to the death in their stead.
.
.
.
*shrug*
I can't really make sense of myself, but then I stopped expecting myself to make sense looong loong ago.
I am a massive contradiction in most respects.
Well, it seems you uncovered my crimes.DVS BSTrD said:
Yes, I am responsible for the Hindenburg-disaster.
Happy now?
For now I shall come for you, forever your mortal enemy. You shall have to look over your shoulder as long as I am alive and you better sleep with one eye open.
The manatee is coming for you. Slowly.
I... was planning on reading all of your secrets without adding anything of my own!!! Bow before my superior darkness you poor, misguided fools!
OT: I have some... Depending on what you consider to be dark, I guess. I have ones that I'm embarassed of (like, say, fetishes) but nothing that I can think of that's like what I'd consider blackmail material.
But, here's a couple. First, I guess I'm kinda manipulative. Not in an overly-controlling-evil-puppet-master-with-all-you-fools-dancing-on-my-strings kind of way, but when I want something to happen or people to do something, I'll do my damn well best to make sure they think it's their idea. I can't trace the reason behind this beyond the simple fact that, for whatever reason, I'm terrified of letting people know what I want. I guess I'm scared of revealing that much of myself and being reviled, so I'll take any route possible to put the idea in their heads so they'll bring it up first and tell me their opinion of it. That way, I can safely tell them as much as I feel is appropriate without revealing such that they might have a negative reaction to it.
Another is not such a secret among my closest friends, but something that's quite a sensitive spot for me; I can't write a novel. I've been trying literally since I was in primary school, and my greatest dream is to write a famous fantasy epic, but no matter how hard I try, I'll come up with a new idea, write a few pages, completely lose interest and abandon it. It's the bane of my aspirations, and perhaps the one part of myself that I TRULY dislike (for the rest of me self-esteem-wise I've sorta come to accept that I am as I am, so I might as well get used to it).
OT: I have some... Depending on what you consider to be dark, I guess. I have ones that I'm embarassed of (like, say, fetishes) but nothing that I can think of that's like what I'd consider blackmail material.
But, here's a couple. First, I guess I'm kinda manipulative. Not in an overly-controlling-evil-puppet-master-with-all-you-fools-dancing-on-my-strings kind of way, but when I want something to happen or people to do something, I'll do my damn well best to make sure they think it's their idea. I can't trace the reason behind this beyond the simple fact that, for whatever reason, I'm terrified of letting people know what I want. I guess I'm scared of revealing that much of myself and being reviled, so I'll take any route possible to put the idea in their heads so they'll bring it up first and tell me their opinion of it. That way, I can safely tell them as much as I feel is appropriate without revealing such that they might have a negative reaction to it.
Another is not such a secret among my closest friends, but something that's quite a sensitive spot for me; I can't write a novel. I've been trying literally since I was in primary school, and my greatest dream is to write a famous fantasy epic, but no matter how hard I try, I'll come up with a new idea, write a few pages, completely lose interest and abandon it. It's the bane of my aspirations, and perhaps the one part of myself that I TRULY dislike (for the rest of me self-esteem-wise I've sorta come to accept that I am as I am, so I might as well get used to it).
OH THE HUE-MANATEE!!!!!
Look upon thine terrible works, ye fool, and despair!
Beware the Spectral Dugong that stalks the night, and tremble at the awesome vengeance that thou hast unleashed upon thine house and name!
.
.
^There.
That right there is my dark secret. That type of nonsense rolls off my tongue like it's completely normal and reasonable.
Look upon thine terrible works, ye fool, and despair!
Beware the Spectral Dugong that stalks the night, and tremble at the awesome vengeance that thou hast unleashed upon thine house and name!
.
.
^There.
That right there is my dark secret. That type of nonsense rolls off my tongue like it's completely normal and reasonable.
I don't mind Nickelback.
Everybody in my social group (including myself) listens to old or obscure music and can't stand modern pop music. When the subject of Nickelback comes up, I will hate on them like everybody else, but deep inside I see nothing wrong with them.
They have a solid career and are still performing and releasing albums with catchy songs on them.
I feel ashamed now.
Everybody in my social group (including myself) listens to old or obscure music and can't stand modern pop music. When the subject of Nickelback comes up, I will hate on them like everybody else, but deep inside I see nothing wrong with them.
They have a solid career and are still performing and releasing albums with catchy songs on them.
I feel ashamed now.
Huh. Sure, whatever. The main reason I don't share is because it would make things far too awkward to talk about face to face with many people.
I guess my main one is my mild dabbling with self harm, I suppose. Nothing big, just dragging a craft knife over my skin and cutting myself. Most people can tell if they see the scars, but it's something I try not to draw attention to. I've 'stopped' cutting myself, though that's mainly because I'm being held there. It really fucked up a lot of my close relationships with friends, family and girlfriend when I did so I do my best to keep it hidden. That said, it's never far from my mind. I find it really difficult not going and cutting myself again, especially when I see one or two of my other friends' scars. I ache for it.
There's the whole BDSM switch bicurious side to my personality as well, which I suppose comes under a 'dark secret' though I don't really see why. It's more private than dark; just not the thing you usually share. You shall get no more details than that.
I can't really think of much else, to be honest. I guess my ridiculous whining, enormous hypocrisy, overweening sense of self-importance that intrudes upon others and my other multitudinous flaws should come up here? Iunno.
Yeah, self harm is definitely my biggest. Probably my 'darkest' too. I'm not sure. It all seems rather silly to me at the moment. I don't know. Maybe I need to sleep.
I guess my main one is my mild dabbling with self harm, I suppose. Nothing big, just dragging a craft knife over my skin and cutting myself. Most people can tell if they see the scars, but it's something I try not to draw attention to. I've 'stopped' cutting myself, though that's mainly because I'm being held there. It really fucked up a lot of my close relationships with friends, family and girlfriend when I did so I do my best to keep it hidden. That said, it's never far from my mind. I find it really difficult not going and cutting myself again, especially when I see one or two of my other friends' scars. I ache for it.
There's the whole BDSM switch bicurious side to my personality as well, which I suppose comes under a 'dark secret' though I don't really see why. It's more private than dark; just not the thing you usually share. You shall get no more details than that.
I can't really think of much else, to be honest. I guess my ridiculous whining, enormous hypocrisy, overweening sense of self-importance that intrudes upon others and my other multitudinous flaws should come up here? Iunno.
Yeah, self harm is definitely my biggest. Probably my 'darkest' too. I'm not sure. It all seems rather silly to me at the moment. I don't know. Maybe I need to sleep.