Zero Punctuation: Too Human

[TsunamiWombat]

OH SILICON KNIGHTS! WHY HATH THOU FORSAKEN US! Twas thou that brought us the somewhat clunky yet piece of writing gold that was Blood Omen! How far hast thou fallen!

I truely wanted Too Human to be an intruiging epic that lived up to the heritage of both it's developer and it's mythos. And yet, I knew from the start it would burn like a turd lit on fire. It's trailer video was boring and slow, the in game footage looked boring and slow, the character animation and personalities looked boring and slow. WHAT happened? I want to KNOW!

 

[TheECP]

I played the demo of this game and quit within like 5 minutes, it was just terrible. Somebody told me how awesome it was and to give it a chance, and I was sad I wasted the effort downloading it.

Though dang, I was hoping you would review spore (is it out in Australia yet?)

I wub spore <3

 

[SimpleReally]

pause the vid at 0:27 = GOLD

 

[UsefulPlayer 1]

:S I liked the Too Human demo.

 

[The Sound Defense]

I never played Too Human, or read any real reviews about it. All I know is that I work at a store that sells games, and after hearing tons of hype for Too Human, we got exactly one copy in on release date. So far, no one has come in looking to buy it.

 

[al_banzon]

nice dark knight reference.

 

[Chasington]

Yay, warhammer online! Too bad they had that weird add with some rambling british guy in the front. I hate those adds.

 

[Andune]

Excellent, for the first time ever i can't watch a new episode of Zero Punctuation..
This new WAR ad in the beginning seems to fuck everything up cause now i suddenly can't watch any episode of Zero Punctuation at all, no matter what browser i use.

The Escapist is a great site but maybe it's time for Yahtzee to move on and find a better place for his videos?

 

[Susan Arendt]

Ok, so I finally got a chance to watch this today, and all I can say is: Spot. Fucking. On.

Having beaten Too Human (or perhaps it beat me, it's honestly tough to say), I cannot stress enough how dead-on accurate Yahtzee is this week.

Seriously, whoever thought that Valkyrie was a good idea needs to be thrown screaming from a helicopter.

I also offer you the following quote from Silicon Knights president Denis Dyack:

"We had eight years research into our camera system and have patented the technology. You're not seeing many of these kind of games on console because they wouldn't work without the dual stick controller and automatic camera. This is innovative and really hard to do, that's why these games are quite rare. I'll be shocked if there is any game in this genre that comes close to Too Human in the next couple of years."

 

[Rockdrake]

Yay, warhammer online! Too bad they had that weird add with some rambling british guy in the front. I hate those adds.

You and me both brother

Good review this week! Honestly though why would anyone thank it wasn't gonna be too human this week? I mean he practically reviewed spore in that podcast with the Australian gamers site.

 

[Woe Is You]

If you've spent more then five years on a game.. When you release it there should be a law that it has to be a perfect game.. Or you're locked in the stockades with your rear sticking out to the public so they can take turns kicking you in the balls for wasting time you could have been spending making a good game.

They've made the game since the PS1 days. That means they've probably thrown out tons of code and art simply because they have become dated. Multiple times. And changed the design. Also multiple times.

I can honestly list more horrible games with glaring flaws that have taken more than 5 years to develop than games than games that have taken that much and are awesome. And I'd start that list with titles like Daikatana and Limbo of the Lost. It's more than miraculous that Team Fortress 2 was the success that it is, because it was vaporware for so long.

 

[SimpleReally]

Ironically i was playing Baldur's Gate right before this review.
nice game with nice dialogue but really really overrated, 0 user friendliness and its bugged like hell, i just killed Firkraag without him even turning hostile on me.

 

[Surggical_Scar]

*Le Snip*

 

[Surggical_Scar]

I doubt Yahtzee is going out of his way to flip off a huge 'Screw You' to EA, but he sticks to his guns - if he doesn't like a gae, he tears it a new arsehole.

Was that a Freudian Slip?

I seen Yahtzee accused of being racist before, now he's homophobic?

Distant quote is diastant.

And no, that wasn't a Freudian slip, that was me without sleep and with access to the Internet. Trust me - I'd be the last person to accuse Yahtzee of being homophobic. I'd strip-mine his seam of sex in a heartbeat.

In other words, I'd rape him with heavy-duty excavating materials and gelignite.

 

[SallyGrim]

I know not to bother with this game now. Not that I was going to buy it anyway but I might have shown a general interest next time it came up in conversation. A couple of Joker references in there, made me sit up and rewind to check if I was going mad or not. I get the feeling that 'a hammer made of wank' may have integrated itself into my vocabulary by tomorrow.

 

[Mullahgrrl]

Balder's Gait= Best pun ever!

 

[Dr Flibble]

Nailed it again. Spot on Yahtzee. Too Human is a horrible game and Denis Dyack needs to be slapped in the face for it. 4 years in development (not 10 as the lunatic fanboys like to point out as if it somehow makes a difference anyway) and the game is toss, one of the worst on the system. Kung Foo Panda looks good compared to this garbage.

 

[Alacar Leoricar]

Wow, this one made me laugh pretty hard. Recently Yahtzee has been 'blessed' with games that weren't total crap. Except for EVE. This was a welcome pile of dog poop.