Bisexual's Don't Exist So... I'm Not Real? Damn....

[Mikkaddo]

It may not necessarily be equal attraction to both, which is a fallacy, I'm 100% attracted to any gender if they're visually appealing and have a personality that doesn't make me want to summon darklings to rend their head from their shoulders.

First and foremost, I want to just say that if you were intending to reference Swat Kats (the Radical Squadron) then you have my respect and admiration.

On the topic of bisexuality, I've never personally met a bisexual man, plenty of gay men and straight ones, but no bisexuals. I'm sure for some it could be a phase, hell most of the gay men I know "started" bisexual because they weren't completely sure which way they went. Also, I'd be lying if I said I didn't myself wonder if I'm not a bit of both ends. Honestly though . . . people giving you crap at school for being different is not a new concept, it's a time honored horrible tradition but remember, you're not the only one who's suffering, pretty much every bully that even goes so far as to just make a snide remark is trying to take attention off of their own problems.

 

[Strazdas]

However I also came across an unsettling and frustrating amount of articles claiming that bisexuality is not a thing and that it's "a phase" or "a lie", especially with regards to male bisexuals. Perhaps in some situations this is true, but surely in the majority of cases it isn't?

You know, there are plenty of "respective" articles that claim gays dont exist either. cant believe all the media.

 

[DugMachine]

There is a hint of truth to this. Back in my younger days, I was part of that alternative group in HS and a lot of my friends experimented with bisexuality before finally sticking with being straight or just gay. To my knowledge I only have one friend that's actually bisexual and dates both genders quite frequently. Er not dates but shags to be sure.

I honestly don't care about sexual orientation. The one friend who is bisexual is one of my two best friends in the whole wide world whether she munches carpet or takes the D i'll always support her.

 

[Random Numbers]

I've been reading around recently about my orientation in order to see if there are any support networks, legal protections in the workplace, etc, for bisexual peoples like myself. It turns out that there are indeed such things.

However I also came across an unsettling and frustrating amount of articles claiming that bisexuality is not a thing and that it's "a phase" or "a lie", especially with regards to male bisexuals. Perhaps in some situations this is true, but surely in the majority of cases it isn't?

I don't know about others since I've only ever met two other bisexual men and I never bothered to enquire, but there must be men out there other than me that are indifferent to gender when it comes to sexual desires? Are there any here on the escapist?

It may not necessarily be equal attraction to both, which is a fallacy, I'm 100% attracted to any gender if they're visually appealing and have a personality that doesn't make me want to summon darklings to rend their head from their shoulders.

Such articles can be found via google, I won't bother to link them here.

What do you guys think? Am I alone? Am I really the only actual bisexual man?

Why would anybody lie about such a thing? I personally came out as bisexual because I am, in addition to the typical homophobia I also received extra bullshit at school for being bisexual specifically, often accusations of greed. That extra stuff has made me unable to really sustain relationships from fear of familial and social rejection, I've also had a situation with my current long term girlfriend partner where she accused me of wanting her to be a man because I said I didn't care if she waxed her underarms when she asked. Thoughts/opinions on this? Similar experiences?

[small]I'm really sorry for creating a gender thread when we'd started to really get past feminism, sexism, etc, but this struck me as particularly appalling and made me feel rather isolated[/small]

Wow! I've been lurking around the forums for a while now, but this seems like a perfect topic to introduce myself with. First off I want to say that I completely understand where you're coming from and sympathize with what happened to you. I went to a catholic high school for four years and when I finally came out as a male bisexual a week before my graduation it literally ruined my life. I lost my best friend who I'd known since early childhood, and had to put up with alot of gay-bashing from him as well as from the douche-bag underclassmen (they're the kind of kids who go on xbox live and scream obscenities at the other time during a game of MW3). That along with having to hide my secret from my ultra-conservative, red-neck, Texan brother has led to very bad depression and social anxiety. On the other hand though in college there are lots of support groups for guys like us, so don't let anything some dumbass on the internet says discourage you. I hope I wish you the best of luck and Hope you get this sorted out one day!

 

[keiji_Maeda]

snip[/small]

I love it when people arbitrarily throw out quotes like "bisexuality isn't a real thing" or "it's a phase" it gives me a nice ol' throwback to the damn old idea that homosexuality is a choice.

Seriously, why is it so difficult to comprehend that some people like boys, some girls and some both? is it that hard to comprehend? I suppose i could make an assumption that it's hard top believe on account of having known some people who said they were bisexual, but never touched a person of their own/ the other sex (only one, ne'er the other that is) but we're dead sure that they were bi-sexual anyway. and you know what? fine. Who am i to second guess anyone elses sexuality anyway? i don't know how they feel when they look at other people.

live and let live.

 

[WolfThomas]

I can't count how many times I've seen a thread almost identical to this. Man I'm getting old and crotchety.

 

[mooncalf]

Bisexuality is not a phase, it is not fake and it is not greedy. I believe people who say this of Bisexuals also say the same of Agnostics or any other grey feeling as a way of saying "You're with us or you're against us."

Such people should be ignored. If you like guys, great, if you like girls, great, if you like both, why the hell not? If you like neither... Well okay sure, but... Really?

 

[MorphingDragon]

EDIT: Yes I am aware of Pansexual. It does not fit as pansexuality implies that you find literally everything attractive.

Pansexuality is attraction to persons whose traits that are not inherently sexual, it is the correct term. I don't know what school you learnt your English from but having sex with inanimate objects is Paraphilia and not a sexual orientation. You disrespect real pansexuals by using the term incorrectly.

pan·sex·u·al/panˈsekSHo͞oəl/
Adjective:
Not limited or inhibited in sexual choice with regard to gender or activity.
Noun:
A person who is sexually inclusive in this way.

par·a·phil·i·a/ˌparəˈfilēə/
Noun:
A condition characterized by abnormal sexual desires, typically involving extreme or dangerous activities.

 

[Galletea]

Interestingly enough there are other studies that suggest that people who are 100% straight or gay are actually rare. Tanking it on a sort of sliding scale they suggest that being 50/50 is also unusual and most of us are bisexual, just to different degrees.

 

[krazykidd]

Soooo ... How do bi-sexuals choose their partner? I'm just curious? Is it first come first serve ? Or flavor of the month? What happens when you are dating a guy and suddenly feel the urge to date/sleep with a girl ? I'm dead serious , i want to know how this works. Is it easier to date another bi-sexual ? Or do they go with both straight and homosexuals. I WANT ANSWERS DAMMIT!

OT: Gah , as long as everyone consents, who cares?

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

I've been reading around recently about my orientation in order to see if there are any support networks, legal protections in the workplace, etc, for bisexual peoples like myself. It turns out that there are indeed such things.

However I also came across an unsettling and frustrating amount of articles claiming that bisexuality is not a thing and that it's "a phase" or "a lie", especially with regards to male bisexuals. Perhaps in some situations this is true, but surely in the majority of cases it isn't?

I don't know about others since I've only ever met two other bisexual men and I never bothered to enquire, but there must be men out there other than me that are indifferent to gender when it comes to sexual desires? Are there any here on the escapist?

It may not necessarily be equal attraction to both, which is a fallacy, I'm 100% attracted to any gender if they're visually appealing and have a personality that doesn't make me want to summon darklings to rend their head from their shoulders.

Such articles can be found via google, I won't bother to link them here.

What do you guys think? Am I alone? Am I really the only actual bisexual man?

Why would anybody lie about such a thing? I personally came out as bisexual because I am, in addition to the typical homophobia I also received extra bullshit at school for being bisexual specifically, often accusations of greed. That extra stuff has made me unable to really sustain relationships from fear of familial and social rejection, I've also had a situation with my current long term girlfriend partner where she accused me of wanting her to be a man because I said I didn't care if she waxed her underarms when she asked. Thoughts/opinions on this? Similar experiences?

[small]I'm really sorry for creating a gender thread when we'd started to really get past feminism, sexism, etc, but this struck me as particularly appalling and made me feel rather isolated[/small]

I will do anything once and while I am married I do have a certain attraction to certain types of guys... though I doubt anything other than a fling could become of it. Not sure if thats bi or not.

I guess the question should be is bi being able to fall in love live and die as well as have sex with both genders? or can it just be a "Yeah I'd hit that."?

 

[Simon Pettersson]

I'm a bisexual/pansexual male with a preference for females. One of my sayings is "I like chicks, but also dicks, sometimes dicks on chicks." Basically I don't care what's in your pants if you're attractive to me I'll bang you.

You would be surprised how many bi/gay guys there are, they're just not that open about it (I'm not that open about it my self as I don't see the point of just up and declaring it, but if the topic comes up I let people know that I'm not actually 100% straight). Seriously I've had a bunch of conversations of "Wait you're bi? HOLY SHIT SO AM I!"

This is actually spot on for me.

I usually don't go around yelling that I am bisexual because i don't think anyone else has anything to do with it.

 

[Vault101]

(raises flame-shield)

So, if a man was to experiment with other men, yet ultimately settle down with a woman and have children, I would see him as a straight man who did some experimentation, not a bisexual man who just happens to be with a woman.
)

]and if he ended up with a man would he be gay? neither scenario disproves his "bi-sexual" status, bneither can..thats the whole point of bi sexuality if he wants a life partner its going to have to be eather

 

[Vault101]

Every ones born Bisexual, an individual person becomes a homosexual or heterosexual
etc... depending on there society's attitudes towards sexuality and whether they accept
these attitudes or rebel against them.

Well that's my theory any way

don't certain brain chemicals also factor in?

[small/]I'm a fraternal twin and somtimes I wonder of I stole all my bothers testosterone[/small]

I guess the question should be is bi being able to fall in love live and die as well as have sex with both genders? or can it just be a "Yeah I'd hit that."?

why wouldn;t it be? sexual attraction is only one part of "love" isn't it? personality counts as well

 

[gazumped]

I hear it all the time, I still can't get my head round it. I mean, personally, I can't imagine being unable to be attracted to either gender, but I can still entertain the possibility that straight and gay people exist. On a side note

I've also had a situation with my current long term girlfriend partner where she accused me of wanting her to be a man because I said I didn't care if she waxed her underarms when she asked.

I find it really sad that she's had the media message of BODY HAIR IS UNFEMININE drilled into her so much that she actually feels like underarm hair is akin to transvestitism (which seems to be sort of what she's saying).

But in my own personal experience, those claiming to be bisexual tend to be in the 16-26 age bracket, and after that, well they pick a side.

In my own personal experience, I've known people still identifying and (for lack of a better word) 'practicing' as bisexuals well into their 40s, at least. Maybe I've just been around more adults on the LGBT scene.

I mean, consider that once a person reaches their late 20s, they're less likely to be jumping from partner to partner and more likely to get into a long term relationship. And unless it's a poly relationship, (which, incidentally, my bisexual aunt was in with a man and a woman, and this was in her 30s) then it means they'll have had to have picked a heterosexual or a homosexual relationship. And maybe they'll only end up being in relationships with that gender throughout the rest of their adult life, but maybe they won't. (My mum dated a guy in his 40s for two years who was mostly into guys. When they split up, he started seeing a man.)

Personally, I have only ever been in heterosexual relationships, but I'm bisexual. I fit into your 16-26 age bracket, but I've certainly not been 'experimenting'... no girl's ever been interested in me back! But I've been in love with a girl and in general hot girls arouse me, so bisexual is what I am. And maybe in ten years time I'll stop fancying girls and chalk it down to me just being a horny young person, but it still leaves the people who that doesn't happen to.

 

[viranimus]

Ok. I already know exactly how this is gonna get taken, But I will try to do it anyway and see if I can get through it retaining the understanding it is not my personal opinion.

From the perspective of the overall general populous, Some see it as bisexuals do not exist on the basis, if you are a guy, once you engage in gay activity, it becomes more like breaking the plane in football and you are scored as being gay.

Now... that is indeed a glib interpretation of it. However...


From a psychological study standpoint, the position can be held that there is essentially no need for sexuality in this sense, and the only practical ones become in essence binary. On/off, Gay/Straight. However In this context it affirms there is no need for deviated sexualities because your sexuality is whatever you are in at the moment. This means looks as sexuality in the moment, as opposed to it being a character trait to have the whole of the individual identified with.

There IS logical reason for this. Sexuality while may be essentially wrote in stone for some, in many cases does in fact evolve as the individual evolves. That variable nature makes the concept of identifying with ones sexuality impractical and in essence lacking. In looking at sexuality in this form, it also helps to eliminate the concepts of divides that we all know all too well that people on ALL sides of sexuality use to separate from non like minded individuals. This view would in essence look at sexuality more as one Universal sexuality, or just... Sexuality.

So I can see where some people would think in that glib manner expressed in the beginning. I can also see where trying to remove dividing points from sexuality is actually a good idea and somewhat progressive and forward thinking.

It reminds me of the old saying regarding womens rights. To paraphrase, Women will never be equal as long as they take pride of being the first woman to do this, or the first woman to do that. The goal has to be not to be the first woman... But to be the first.

So yeah... While there well may be some hate/intolerance driving it, simple fact is, not all of it is and when you think about it and broaden your perspectives, you might see merit in it too, when it is used properly.

Please dont quote me to death like I were a baby seal beggin for a good clubbin

/raises flame shield.

 

[tlgAlaska]

Soooo ... How do bi-sexuals choose their partner? I'm just curious? Is it first come first serve ? Or flavor of the month? What happens when you are dating a guy and suddenly feel the urge to date/sleep with a girl ? I'm dead serious , i want to know how this works. Is it easier to date another bi-sexual ? Or do they go with both straight and homosexuals. I WANT ANSWERS DAMMIT!

OT: Gah , as long as everyone consents, who cares?

They probably choose the same way you would, just with different exclusion criteria.

 

[iseko]

I don't really believe in bisexuality. Sounds weird to use the word 'believe' but there ya go. On the other hand, I never judge. Here is the thing: for me there are gays, lesbians and homosexuals. All that pan-/asexual stuff doesn't really exist for me. Why? Because I think that for example a bisexual guy will still have his preference

--> The bisexual guy might prefer girls over boys. Doesn't mean he won't screw a guy now and then. But he just likes girls better overall. In my book that makes him straight. Nowadays it's easy to confuse yourself. Because you see naked guys and girls everywhere (not just talking about porn). But in the end you will choose for only one type.

Now like I said: I don't judge. I have gay and lesbian friends. As long as those guys aren't to feminine and the lesbians not butch, I don't care. And that has nothing to do with discrimination based on sexual preference. Those people just rub me the wrong way. I don't mind their lifestyle, they just shouldn't talk to me. Just like a *****/douche shouldn't talk to me. I don't like them.

Me? Im straight. Not as straight as they get but pretty damn close. I like my sexual partners to having jumping titties and a nice vagina that I can plow tyvm.

PS: It's just my opinion. I don't need other people to agree with me. And I don't need people to call me an ignorant hick. It's what I believe (there is that word again..) and I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I'm not trying to force my opinion on others.

captcha: star spangled, well why not captcha? I'm open minded

EDIT:

-snip-
From a psychological study standpoint, the position can be held that there is essentially no need for sexuality in this sense, and the only practical ones become in essence binary. On/off, Gay/Straight. However In this context it affirms there is no need for deviated sexualities because your sexuality is whatever you are in at the moment. This means looks as sexuality in the moment, as opposed to it being a character trait to have the whole of the individual identified with.

There IS logical reason for this. Sexuality while may be essentially wrote in stone for some, in many cases does in fact evolve as the individual evolves. That variable nature makes the concept of identifying with ones sexuality impractical and in essence lacking. In looking at sexuality in this form, it also helps to eliminate the concepts of divides that we all know all too well that people on ALL sides of sexuality use to separate from non like minded individuals. This view would in essence look at sexuality more as one Universal sexuality, or just... Sexuality.-snip-

/raises flame shield.

THIS! He describes it better then I did. But I pretty much agree. And no need for that flameshield (I hope, if there is need I would like to get behind it as well).

 

[Jenvas1306]

Bisexuals sure exist. I've got a past with some sexuality struggles, but if you look at the internet you find lots of shit.
I'm also TG and you really shouldnt look for post about that anywhere, cause you find terribly ugly things, not just claims it wouldnt exist.

 

[Legion]

Anyone who believes that bisexuality doesn't actually exist is an absolute moron and deserves to be defenestrated out of the nearest tall building.

No similar experiences for me, for I am in the heterosexual camp.

This.

I would like to say that I am surprised about the fact there are people stupid enough to believe that it doesn't exist. Then again there are so many things that prove how stupid some people can be that it honestly isn't all that surprising.

Just as ridiculous is the bizarre idea that bisexual people couldn't have a monogamous relationship due to being attracted to both genders. There is absolutely no logical explanation for such an idiotic assumption.

As well as the idea that it is "greedy". I mean, seriously?

Soooo ... How do bi-sexuals choose their partner? I'm just curious? Is it first come first serve ? Or flavor of the month? What happens when you are dating a guy and suddenly feel the urge to date/sleep with a girl ? I'm dead serious , i want to know how this works. Is it easier to date another bi-sexual ? Or do they go with both straight and homosexuals. I WANT ANSWERS DAMMIT!

How do you choose yours as a heterosexual?

I am assuming that you prefer monogamous relationships.

You see somebody attractive, and wish to enter a relationship right? That's all there is to it. Some you find attractive, some people you do not.

All liking both genders would mean is that you are statistically more likely to find an attractive person due to doubling the potential partners.

I don't really believe in bisexuality. Sounds weird to use the word 'believe' but there ya go. On the other hand, I never judge. Here is the thing: for me there are gays, lesbians and homosexuals. All that pan-/asexual stuff doesn't really exist for me. Why? Because I think that for example a bisexual guy will still have his preference

--> The bisexual guy might prefer girls over boys. Doesn't mean he won't screw a guy now and then. But he just likes girls better overall. In my book that makes him straight. Nowadays it's easy to confuse yourself. Because you see naked guys and girls everywhere (not just talking about porn). But in the end you will choose for only one type.

So humans are omnivores. We eat both meat and we eat non-meat foods.

If I prefer meat to vegetables does that make me a carnivore because I have a preference for it?

No. Because I eat both. Yes, bisexual people more often than not will have a preference, that's just human nature. But as long as they are sexually attracted to both genders then they are bisexual. Bi means two. There are two sexes, and they are attracted to both, therefore that is what they are.

That said, sexuality to me is not important, and barely worth talking about. Not because of a lack of interest in sex or relationships. I just view it as one of those "Does it even really matter?" things. It's not like it defines you unless you choose it to.