Have you ever thought about suicide?

[Exacerbation]

About a decade ago a close friend decided to commit suicide; I won't go into reasons as those were his. It was not enough for him to disappear quietly, so he chose to burn himself alive. Problems arose quickly, however, when he reversed his decision shortly after igniting the gasoline he had doused himself in. As the pain was surely immediate and insistent, I don't know if it was pure self preservation instinct that often stops people right before the act, or before the chosen method has taken hold; or the conscious realization that he did not actually want to die.

His little brother came to the door where he pleaded for help. In the hospital he was apologetic to his family. He did not recover.

Within a few short hours he changed his mind, but too late. I share this story with the hope that those who have posted their intent to kill themselves think about the fact that everything changes. This is especially for the younger folks.

That said, I have considered many times when I was young, actually loaded and aborted twice. I feel absolutely ridiculous for having gotten that close to ending myself. I also understand that some people just really want to get the fuck outta here.




This is my first post. I have haunted these forums for a while now, but I just had to contribute to a suicide thread on The Escapist.

 

[anthony87]

I've thought about the idea of it before, about the "whys" and "hows" but I'd never actually consider taking my own life. Then again I've been ridiculously depressed lately because of general worries about the future and shit so you never know

........Nah, no matter how shit I feel I wouldn't do it anyway.

 

[anthony87]

Yes. I have.

I'm 28 years old and I've thought about it at least twice a year. I haven't acted on those thoughts because I hold onto hope that I will not be stuck behind a cash register for the rest of my life.

See I find that to be interesting. Right now I'm in college and dealing with realisation that what I'm doing most likely isn't what I want to be doing for the rest of my life and it's got me feeling like shit. Right now I'd rather being stuck behind a cash register, at least I'd be actively earning money instead of wasting my time working towards something I'm not even sure I want anymore.

 

[Libra]

Have considered it a few times. I decide against it mostly because my mother needs me to take care of her. If I die, she has little hope of a peaceful future. So that's what keeps me here right now.

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

I thought about it once, when high school was at its worst. I was the bully target of the whole fucking school and trying (and failing) to deal with emotional/psychological issues that were wrecking my shit and making me feel like a terrible person.

A minute or so after thinking seriously about killing myself, I falcon punched the thoughts from my head.

A month later, I looked back and realized that despite all the shit I went through, there were some good things that I would have missed too. That's when I resolved to never commit suicide ever, and made "Live for every second of fun I can get" my personal creed. Since then, not a since thought was given to suicide.

If I DID end up doing it (probably only if I went blind or lost both my hands or something equally debilitating and awful), I would probably just swallow a shitton of sleeping pills or something. I don't want to be in pain or even conscious when I die.

Also, anyone who even considered hanging...Don't. It's quite probably the worst way to die, aside from being eaten alive by an octopus.

 

[Acton Hank]

Never, I despise the human race and this planet way too much to die without giving it the punishment it deserves.

 

[Artemis923]

Suicide is for pussies who can't man up and handle life.

Nothing trivial is worth my life, period.

 

[DarkRawen]

I haven't attempted it myself, nor have I ever wanted to. I've thought about it, but more in the sense of if I think it's a worthwhile escape from whatever is bothering me or not, and I've never reached the conclusion that it was.

I know one guy who have attempted to take his life, he's a friend of my brothers. He was living with us when he decided to overdose on sleeping pills or something like that, but he changed his mind, luckily, and woke my oldest brother up. That saved his life.

And also,last summer, someone in one of my classes took his life. It was a small philosophy class, twelve people or so, so everyone in the class were close. Especially because we discussed a lot of our dreams and perspectives, and got to know each others well. When we found out, the whole class went silent, and people started crying. I imagine it must have been terrible for his family.

As for how I would kill myself, probably cut my wrist in a bathtub filled with water, as it would leave as little as possible for people to clean up, and because no one else would be involved. If I didn't have a bathtub at this time, I'd probably overdose on sleeping pills for the same reason.

 

[deathzero021]

uhhuh. with a username such as Death, of course i've thought about it. not just once to. i didn't just randomly think about it one day, said no, and than went on with my life. i doubt anybody does that. if you start thinking about it, there are reasons why you are, and those reasons dont go away easily.

ive thought about it a lot and it keeps coming back too. im okay with that. i'll always choose NO as long as i still have a reason to live. my gf has a lot of influence on this, as long as she still supports me i'll still walk this earth.

 

[Dr Hammer]

Thought about it in an abstract way, even conducted some research out of a morbid curiosity. I have to say, some of the ways people have mentioned sound very painful or protracted. Others mention ways that makes me wonder if ending their life is the primary motivator of their actions.

If you really want to go painlessly and quietly there are substances available over the counter in most countries that will induce cardiac arrest. Prior to using these though, you will need anti-emetics and different types of sedatives. Result: heart attack in your sleep.

 

[ZehMadScientist]

Thinking about it? Yes, certainly. A few years back I was more emo than ever, the I started thinking about "What ifs".

Seriously considering it? Hell no. Despite how sad or emo I felt at the time, I have felt and will always feel that life is too precious to throw away.

 

[Your Gaffer]

The way I would have done it is to take a some Valium, take some Vicoden or morphine, run a hot bath then open up my wrists and fade away in the bath. I figure that Valium will calm any nerves I have, the painkillers will make the opening of the wrists easier and the hot bath will keep my more comfortable as I bleed out.

So if I was going to kill myself, which I believe I never would do, that is the way.

 

[BlueberryMUNCH]

Oh I absolutely have, and I probably would have gone for it now if it wasn't for the suicide of my Uncle last year.
Following his death, I got to see the impact a suicide has on a family. Needless to say, it was horrible.
So here I am drifting through the days just to fall asleep again. I don't really live for myself; I live for my family. Because I know if I did do that, it would tear them all apart, and it's not fair on them to be subject to such sorrow.
It's a sad reality, but there you go. Life is sorrow, eh? Best thing we can do is try keep it at bay for as long as possible.

Besides, better days are inevitable. Hopefully.

 

[Random berk]

I've gone over the scenario a few times, yeah. Won't say when, or how often. There have been enough times as well where I might actually have done it, but I didn't have the means to do it, and probably won't ever put myself in a position where I do. Those were particularly bad times though. In the merely quite bad ones, thinking about the friends that I've gotten so close lately and how it might affect them generally lets me shrug it off.

 

[GameChanger]

Not really. My parents once thought I was going to, but my depression phase was mostly caused by the fact that I believed nobody really knew I existed. I had a few superficial friends and that was about it. During that time I wondered about how many people would know if I disappeared one day.


Yeah, I talked about it with them later, figured I'd at least have the respect. All's good now. Don't expect me to be a sad depressed bastard now. I've grown a lot since, and I couldn't wish for a happier me.

Besides, I felt dirty about even thinking about thinking about suicide.

 

[broutefoin]

Have I thought about it? Yes, constantly.

I even have a plan (noose and drugs and a tested tie off point that can support me) and I have a DNR annotation in my will and I have, very recently, set myself up as an organ donor, I have my note ready to go out on a timer unless I stop it every day... This has been my reality for the last year, so far, I've managed to find something to hold on to (be it not wanting to cause grief, the next video game I want to try, some get-together planned with friends) but I am under no illusion that this will keep me going indefinitely.

For those who view this as cowardly, understand that your view is irrelevant on the matter, clinical depression is a vicious feedback loop, low self-esteem, self-loathing, sadness and loneliness aren't something you just "snap out of", and if your idea of a pep talk to "save" someone is a variation of the following (man up, some people have it worse than you, you're a coward and/or yours being selfish) then I would respectfully ask you to shove it up your ass and try to get some perspective, or at least try some empathy. Pain (physical or emotional) is a hell of a thing to live with day in and day out. the fact that someone else has it worse out there than you is moot, by that logic, the only person that could ever feel bad for him/herself would literally have to be the MOST unfortunate individual on the planet...

If you can't understand why someone would choose to stop existing, then you are lucky, for some, regardless of quality of life, existing really isn't that amaze-balls as some of you feel it is. For me personally, I was dead for billions of years before being born, and where the notion of oblivion is unsettling to most, I find it rather comforting, no more want, joy, sadness, pain, disappointment, love or pleasure, just nothing, no good or ill.

Suicide is a selfish act, lets get this straight right now, however, expecting someone to live in misery and pain to spare others the burden of grief is equally selfish.

that said, public suicide (bus, train, buildings etc.) are a valid, if not incredibly dickish ways to go, there are plenty of less collaterally impacting means to leave this world.

In the end, it comes down to coping mechanisms/support systems, some are better equip in this respect and pain becomes manageable,others aren't so fortunate. to blame someone for being in more pain that they personally have/know ways to deal with just seems futile to me for all involved.

 

[Platypus540]

Not once have I ever thought about suicide, it's fucked up. Really just a wasteful, selfish, cowardly act.

 

[Platypus540]

Plus if there's reincarnation, there's maybe a 1 in 100000000000000000000 chance of me coming back as something decent, I mean surely reincarnation isn't restricted to coming back as something on earth, and there's a least one other planet in space that has abundances of life on it.

Reincarnation is, in fact, limited to sea life.

 

[Murmillos]

I think that thinking about suicide is normal, and its a method of your brain telling you it's very confused and stressed the fuck out, so go out and get help.

 

[Adeptus Aspartem]

Hm, when life already had me by the balls for several years (psychological abuse and mild physical abuse from my teachers during ~6 years) and thought it would be a friggin fantastic idea that 3-4 really shitty things should occur at more or less the same time ontop of that my mind broke apart and i ended up in a really messy depression and got diagnosed with a bi-polar disorder.
And when i had really bad days, i was playin' with the thought: "Why not putting an end to all this shit?"

Thankfully i'm to afraid of dying and the sufferin' that it would've caused to my family stopped me from doing anything stupid.

The issue with the bi-polar disorder isn't gone completly but over the past years i could wrap my head around alot of things which helped alot. Because basically all this shitty disorder is, is me fuckin' myself with some irrational logic. Once you get that, you just have to get yourself some motivation to do something and it goes upwards from there.

Captcha: Basket case
Oh yeah? Very funny captcha, and in the last post you said you love me. Friggin liar!