Yes. Back when I was 17. I even went as far as walking out to the edge of highest bridge in the area with the intention of leaping off, but I didn't end up going through with it.
Have you ever thought about suicide?
- Thread starter New Frontiersman
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Yeah I have tried it two times and still think about it. Would do it if it weren't for my mother, don't want to cause her any more suffering than I already did, but I don't know how long this conviction will last.
Well, I sometimes have absent thoughts about suicide, but never actually considered it seriously while aware of my thoughts. There was this one time when I was looking out a window thinking how fun it would be to jump out of it and aim on on of the cars out there. When I actually started thinking I realized how messed up that was though so I figured I'd stop looking outside for the day.
Now my life is pretty good, I got my good and my bad days, but all in all I am happy, sometimes too happy, enjoying things like bad weather and people being idiots. However I have thought about it on a few occasions just because I do those kinda things. It usually comes back to making it mysterious and making it look like murder, possibly get in a fight with someone I don't like to get a few hairs or some skin and blood on me. I also have several murder scenarios, serial killer scenarios and things like that. It's not that I intend to do either of those things, it's that I have an active imagination and like to think out scenarios like that to discuss and possibly write about.
One way I wouldn't do it though... I would never jump in front of the train. I fucking hate it when people cause delays.
Now my life is pretty good, I got my good and my bad days, but all in all I am happy, sometimes too happy, enjoying things like bad weather and people being idiots. However I have thought about it on a few occasions just because I do those kinda things. It usually comes back to making it mysterious and making it look like murder, possibly get in a fight with someone I don't like to get a few hairs or some skin and blood on me. I also have several murder scenarios, serial killer scenarios and things like that. It's not that I intend to do either of those things, it's that I have an active imagination and like to think out scenarios like that to discuss and possibly write about.
One way I wouldn't do it though... I would never jump in front of the train. I fucking hate it when people cause delays.
About a decade ago a close friend decided to commit suicide; I won't go into reasons as those were his. It was not enough for him to disappear quietly, so he chose to burn himself alive. Problems arose quickly, however, when he reversed his decision shortly after igniting the gasoline he had doused himself in. As the pain was surely immediate and insistent, I don't know if it was pure self preservation instinct that often stops people right before the act, or before the chosen method has taken hold; or the conscious realization that he did not actually want to die.
His little brother came to the door where he pleaded for help. In the hospital he was apologetic to his family. He did not recover.
Within a few short hours he changed his mind, but too late. I share this story with the hope that those who have posted their intent to kill themselves think about the fact that everything changes. This is especially for the younger folks.
That said, I have considered many times when I was young, actually loaded and aborted twice. I feel absolutely ridiculous for having gotten that close to ending myself. I also understand that some people just really want to get the fuck outta here.
This is my first post. I have haunted these forums for a while now, but I just had to contribute to a suicide thread on The Escapist.
His little brother came to the door where he pleaded for help. In the hospital he was apologetic to his family. He did not recover.
Within a few short hours he changed his mind, but too late. I share this story with the hope that those who have posted their intent to kill themselves think about the fact that everything changes. This is especially for the younger folks.
That said, I have considered many times when I was young, actually loaded and aborted twice. I feel absolutely ridiculous for having gotten that close to ending myself. I also understand that some people just really want to get the fuck outta here.
This is my first post. I have haunted these forums for a while now, but I just had to contribute to a suicide thread on The Escapist.
I've thought about the idea of it before, about the "whys" and "hows" but I'd never actually consider taking my own life. Then again I've been ridiculously depressed lately because of general worries about the future and shit so you never know 
........Nah, no matter how shit I feel I wouldn't do it anyway.
........Nah, no matter how shit I feel I wouldn't do it anyway.
See I find that to be interesting. Right now I'm in college and dealing with realisation that what I'm doing most likely isn't what I want to be doing for the rest of my life and it's got me feeling like shit. Right now I'd rather being stuck behind a cash register, at least I'd be actively earning money instead of wasting my time working towards something I'm not even sure I want anymore.Alandoril said:
I thought about it once, when high school was at its worst. I was the bully target of the whole fucking school and trying (and failing) to deal with emotional/psychological issues that were wrecking my shit and making me feel like a terrible person.
A minute or so after thinking seriously about killing myself, I falcon punched the thoughts from my head.
A month later, I looked back and realized that despite all the shit I went through, there were some good things that I would have missed too. That's when I resolved to never commit suicide ever, and made "Live for every second of fun I can get" my personal creed. Since then, not a since thought was given to suicide.
If I DID end up doing it (probably only if I went blind or lost both my hands or something equally debilitating and awful), I would probably just swallow a shitton of sleeping pills or something. I don't want to be in pain or even conscious when I die.
Also, anyone who even considered hanging...Don't. It's quite probably the worst way to die, aside from being eaten alive by an octopus.
A minute or so after thinking seriously about killing myself, I falcon punched the thoughts from my head.
A month later, I looked back and realized that despite all the shit I went through, there were some good things that I would have missed too. That's when I resolved to never commit suicide ever, and made "Live for every second of fun I can get" my personal creed. Since then, not a since thought was given to suicide.
If I DID end up doing it (probably only if I went blind or lost both my hands or something equally debilitating and awful), I would probably just swallow a shitton of sleeping pills or something. I don't want to be in pain or even conscious when I die.
Also, anyone who even considered hanging...Don't. It's quite probably the worst way to die, aside from being eaten alive by an octopus.
Never, I despise the human race and this planet way too much to die without giving it the punishment it deserves.
Suicide is for pussies who can't man up and handle life.
Nothing trivial is worth my life, period.
Nothing trivial is worth my life, period.
I haven't attempted it myself, nor have I ever wanted to. I've thought about it, but more in the sense of if I think it's a worthwhile escape from whatever is bothering me or not, and I've never reached the conclusion that it was.
I know one guy who have attempted to take his life, he's a friend of my brothers. He was living with us when he decided to overdose on sleeping pills or something like that, but he changed his mind, luckily, and woke my oldest brother up. That saved his life.
And also,last summer, someone in one of my classes took his life. It was a small philosophy class, twelve people or so, so everyone in the class were close. Especially because we discussed a lot of our dreams and perspectives, and got to know each others well. When we found out, the whole class went silent, and people started crying. I imagine it must have been terrible for his family.
As for how I would kill myself, probably cut my wrist in a bathtub filled with water, as it would leave as little as possible for people to clean up, and because no one else would be involved. If I didn't have a bathtub at this time, I'd probably overdose on sleeping pills for the same reason.
I know one guy who have attempted to take his life, he's a friend of my brothers. He was living with us when he decided to overdose on sleeping pills or something like that, but he changed his mind, luckily, and woke my oldest brother up. That saved his life.
And also,last summer, someone in one of my classes took his life. It was a small philosophy class, twelve people or so, so everyone in the class were close. Especially because we discussed a lot of our dreams and perspectives, and got to know each others well. When we found out, the whole class went silent, and people started crying. I imagine it must have been terrible for his family.
As for how I would kill myself, probably cut my wrist in a bathtub filled with water, as it would leave as little as possible for people to clean up, and because no one else would be involved. If I didn't have a bathtub at this time, I'd probably overdose on sleeping pills for the same reason.
uhhuh. with a username such as Death, of course i've thought about it. not just once to. i didn't just randomly think about it one day, said no, and than went on with my life. i doubt anybody does that. if you start thinking about it, there are reasons why you are, and those reasons dont go away easily.
ive thought about it a lot and it keeps coming back too. im okay with that. i'll always choose NO as long as i still have a reason to live. my gf has a lot of influence on this, as long as she still supports me i'll still walk this earth.
ive thought about it a lot and it keeps coming back too. im okay with that. i'll always choose NO as long as i still have a reason to live. my gf has a lot of influence on this, as long as she still supports me i'll still walk this earth.
Thought about it in an abstract way, even conducted some research out of a morbid curiosity. I have to say, some of the ways people have mentioned sound very painful or protracted. Others mention ways that makes me wonder if ending their life is the primary motivator of their actions.
If you really want to go painlessly and quietly there are substances available over the counter in most countries that will induce cardiac arrest. Prior to using these though, you will need anti-emetics and different types of sedatives. Result: heart attack in your sleep.
If you really want to go painlessly and quietly there are substances available over the counter in most countries that will induce cardiac arrest. Prior to using these though, you will need anti-emetics and different types of sedatives. Result: heart attack in your sleep.
Thinking about it? Yes, certainly. A few years back I was more emo than ever, the I started thinking about "What ifs".
Seriously considering it? Hell no. Despite how sad or emo I felt at the time, I have felt and will always feel that life is too precious to throw away.
Seriously considering it? Hell no. Despite how sad or emo I felt at the time, I have felt and will always feel that life is too precious to throw away.
The way I would have done it is to take a some Valium, take some Vicoden or morphine, run a hot bath then open up my wrists and fade away in the bath. I figure that Valium will calm any nerves I have, the painkillers will make the opening of the wrists easier and the hot bath will keep my more comfortable as I bleed out.
So if I was going to kill myself, which I believe I never would do, that is the way.
So if I was going to kill myself, which I believe I never would do, that is the way.
Oh I absolutely have, and I probably would have gone for it now if it wasn't for the suicide of my Uncle last year.
Following his death, I got to see the impact a suicide has on a family. Needless to say, it was horrible.
So here I am drifting through the days just to fall asleep again. I don't really live for myself; I live for my family. Because I know if I did do that, it would tear them all apart, and it's not fair on them to be subject to such sorrow.
It's a sad reality, but there you go. Life is sorrow, eh? Best thing we can do is try keep it at bay for as long as possible.
Besides, better days are inevitable. Hopefully.
Following his death, I got to see the impact a suicide has on a family. Needless to say, it was horrible.
So here I am drifting through the days just to fall asleep again. I don't really live for myself; I live for my family. Because I know if I did do that, it would tear them all apart, and it's not fair on them to be subject to such sorrow.
It's a sad reality, but there you go. Life is sorrow, eh? Best thing we can do is try keep it at bay for as long as possible.
Besides, better days are inevitable. Hopefully.