Vangaurd227 said:
I'm sick of living with my parents..my dad in particular
My Dad is the most cruel ignorant selfish bastard I have ever had the displeasure of living with!
He never let me have any friends or even go to public school when i was a little kid.
When I first started playing the guitar he hit me if i didn't learn a song before my next guitar lesson.
I recently came out of the closet...when he found out he pushed me over and kicked me....mum just stood there and watched....he's the reason i'm so darn shy and socially awkward and the worst part is i have to live with him for another 4 years.
Also screw garageband for not having a better drum loop creator...I can't work with this!
I don't know if its your story, your avatar or
THIS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL MUSIC THAT IS TITILATING MY EARS RIGHT NOW, but that was really moving.
*Hugs*
As for myself, worrying about a career path (currently in college) is really annoying.
At first, I was majoring in Physics but that got really boring, dull, and consequently, I didn't study enough. I'm lucky I got a C, and that was because the curve gave me that for getting a fucking average of 50. What a joke. I shouldn't even have passed that. Thing is, sometimes I doubt myself and wonder if I did so poorly because I just lacked the competence and diligence to succeed. These thoughts basically crashed my self-esteem.
I got so apathetic about my work that I nearly fucked up my grade in English ("College Writing"). I kept procrastinating to the point of fucking myself over despite that fact that I was easily the best writer in my class. Not that that goes for much. Everyone else in that class could hardly write a decent essay.
And the thing that constantly ebbs at my pride is the fact that I'm attending Umass Lowell- a state school- while everyone I know is at some god damn private school. Most of them can seem to afford it somehow too. (I went to a private High School which explains why so many of my classmates are richer).
It just makes me feel like some kind of joke.
Academically, my first year left me feeling really unsatisfied.
Now I've switched my major to Psychology because I found it more interesting, but the two classes I've had in psych so far have been
so fucking easy they feel like a joke. It also seems like every fucking time I go into chat channels or talk with people with engineering/bio majors, they shit on other majors.
People seem to say that their aren't any jobs outside of those fucking dry majors, and it makes me wonder what the fucking purpose is of any other major then.
So am I really spending all this money on college for a glorified fucking piece of paper? WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Shit like this makes me and my work feel pointless.
WHY DO SOME PEOPLE HAVE TO JUST SHIT ALL OVER MY FUCKING DESIRES. FUCK.
-breath-
But yeah, those anxieties were sharper back in the early half of the summer. Now I'm eager to continue learning and hopefully find something worthwhile and engaging.
I could whine about the lack of romance in my life, but fuck that. One thing at a time
