On Gaymers and Cons

[DudeistBelieve]

Nah that argument is bullshit grey. I wouldn't feel uncomfortable around a guy in a speedo thats advertising a game. Only a person uncomfortable with their own sexuality would.

I'm with you on this one. Maybe it's just hard for me to understand how other people feel, though.
If I was at a con and there was a bunch of sexy guys in thongs trying to sell stuff I wouldn't care in the least.

Again, maybe it's my personal familiarity with transvestites, gays, bisexuals, etc; and I'm just projecting my experience onto others. They're just people.

Especially since, they're paid advertising people. I'd think the last thing a guy or a girl with a great looking body would be to waste their time on me. They're there for the check.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

So what you are saying.... is that we should totally also have straight cons as well, just for us straight people!

They're called regular cons.

Which Con exactly, labels itself as "straight"?

We shall call them normie cons.

A place were we can all hang out and talk about issues regarding white, hetero, males. We can network.

Yeahh... Network!!!

 

[Whispering Death]

As a gay gamer I appreciate this comic and the soapbox.

 

[Cory Rydell]

Ok this thread got out of hand fast, it is getting challenging to keep up.

One stance I've adopted regarding the necessity of GaymerX is that it is a criticism. A criticism of the fact the LGBTA folk don't feel entirely at home at the standard convention. It shows there is a need to change an aspect of gaming culture to be more inclusive. I do see Gaymer X as being exclusive to certain peoples, as their site says they welcome those who are "bisexual, transgender, gay, asexual or an ally", as the majority of us are probably allies this means they are excluding those who aren't allies. In this sense, people who use terms like "gay" or "fag" synonymously with "bad". These terms make people feel excluded from gaming culture so why use them if there are perfectly good other synonyms and you aren't using them to prove a real point.

I don't see Gaymer X as being a permanent fixture. It will go away when people begin to really be all-inclusive. But right now I see it as a reminder that people do feel out of place where we want them to feel included.

 

[rbstewart7263]

Ugh Really? Have you all ever played any game ... ever. I'm gay and even just walked around a convention, the number of times you hear the Fa* bomb used as an insult is staggering. Or hoards of teeny boppers walking around saying how gay something is when they don't like it makes you pretty damn uncomfortable. These events aren't openly homophobic, and in reality many of the paying saying things like the Fa* bomb and or any other gay derogatory term don't understand that it's not OK to so.

But there's a passive homophobia there -- using a term like calling someone a fa* (if you didn't notice, I hate that word above all others), you imply that there's something wrong with being gay, that makes that person less than human. I won't get into all the rhetorical happenings here and logical steps to get there, but the implication is there.

To be able to go to an event about gaming -- a past time I love, that I dedicate almost all of my free time too, and not have to worry about feeling put down, belittled or anything just from overhearing conversation about people who 1) don't know any better or 2) Don't care about how the words they use impact those around them, is awesome. That's why a gaymercon is important. You don't have to want to go to it to make it a valuable, and needed event.

Though it would be funny and ironic as hell if you went there and there were fa* and gay being thrown left and right! lmao

 

[DudeistBelieve]

Hi. Gay guy here.

Do I have a great time? Absolutely. Do I feel 100% comfortable in that environment? No. Why? Because people harass, physically and psychologically assault and KILL gay people in the real world.

Well hello.

I'm a woman - some people harass, physically and psychologically assault and KILL women in the real world.

Another person could perhaps say: I'm black - some people harass, physically and psychologically assault and KILL black people in the real world.

And so on.

So let's make a gaming convention for women, a gaming convention for black people, one for Asian people, and one for each and every category of people that faces some form of discrimination.

NO, that is not the solution. That just makes discrimination much easier.

Why hello, I am Black and here is where i don't follow your logic: How does creating a space where you, for once in your life, are the norm and suddenly are being catered to make people more segregated?

whats wrong with creating a place where you can trade tips with other ladies or how to handle menstral issues and picking out bras? whats wrong with making a place where i can go and purchase an awesome ninja star Afro pick?

these sorts of events promote a sense of togetherness among those there, while doing absolutely nothing to you and yours. also, these cons don't have a Gays Only sign out front and armed thugs to enforce it. Straight people can go to Gaymer Con if they so wish, they simply won't be the norm. Just as there are certain topics you, as a woman wouldn't bring up if i, a man, where around, there are some things gay people just want to discuss among themselves and doing so makes them feel comfortable.

please tell me, what is so wrong with that?

See I'm more disturbed by the fact there are people that don't feel they are the norm.

Shouldn't we try to get everyone to feel like normies instead of letting people be all "NO! WE ARE DIFFERENT! GRRRR!"

I actually think you mean the majority, not norm.

 

[Verkula]

So what you are saying.... is that we should totally also have straight cons as well, just for us straight people!

They're called regular cons.

Which Con exactly, labels itself as "straight"?

We shall call them normie cons.

A place were we can all hang out and talk about issues regarding white, hetero, males. We can network.

Yeahh... Network!!!

Noo, "normie" wont do, we have to have an obvious word in there that represents our sexual orientation, even though we like to say thats not what defines our personality!

 

[Darken12]

So what you are saying.... is that we should totally also have straight cons as well, just for us straight people!

They're called regular cons.

Which Con exactly, labels itself as "straight"?

What do you mean by 'labels'? If you mean 'calls themselves', then obviously none. But that's what happens when the straight cis white male is seen as the human default: Every con is straight male con. There's no need to label them as such because it's implied. Everything caters to the white straight cis male.

 

[Peithelo]

Differentiating people of different sexualities in such a way that would even indirectly encourage them to remain seperated from one another merely increases the disconnect between every side of this societal issue.

True. If we keep this up, homosexuals might feel unwelcome and unwanted. Good thing that doesn't happen when gays try to fit in with the majority.

As I understand it homosexuals already do often feel unwelcome and unwanted, but I suppose your message was an attempt at sarcasm. Nevertheless, the comfort of understanding and sympathetic company can of course offer some relief, but it unfortunately doesn't do anything to alleviate any of the underlying issues. Those issues still continue to exist, and homosexuals seeking the company of understanding and sympathetic invididuals can possibly get a mere moment of respite from them, nothing more. To be forced into such a terrible situtation is a truly saddening thing to realize. I am merely implying that such public conventions as proposed here are only sidestepping the very problem and that it can not be a long-term solution to the fact that homosexuals do in fact often feel themselves unwelcome and unwanted.

Personally I am fortunate enough to have never witnessed any severe harassment of homosexuals.

 

[UniversalRonin]

'Ok this thread got out of hand fast, it is getting challenging to keep up...'

Exactly what I was thinking. Right as I was thinking about writing it I noticed that you already had, thank you for being sensible.

I did my spiel earlier in the thread, and I probably don't have anything else of value to add.
Sure, I come under 'white hetro male' but does Gaymer X bother me? Not a bit, why would it? Why would it bother anyone? Would I go? If I had mates who were going- why not. It would probably be a good laugh. After all, isn't a con a con what ever it's called, and whoever it's catered towards?

 

[Verkula]

So what you are saying.... is that we should totally also have straight cons as well, just for us straight people!

They're called regular cons.

Which Con exactly, labels itself as "straight"?

What do you mean by 'labels'? If you mean 'calls themselves', then obviously none. But that's what happens when the straight cis white male is seen as the human default: Every con is straight male con. There's no need to label them as such because it's implied. Everything caters to the white straight cis male.

How is it implied, and whats so diferent in Gaymercon, other then whats obvious? No, im curious.

Im not against it, if the advantage of making these are so big, but I feel like it makes it harder to get to equality if people keep separating themselves, though I know im probably just freakin naive.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

So what you are saying.... is that we should totally also have straight cons as well, just for us straight people!

They're called regular cons.

Which Con exactly, labels itself as "straight"?

We shall call them normie cons.

A place were we can all hang out and talk about issues regarding white, hetero, males. We can network.

Yeahh... Network!!!

Noo, "normie" wont do, we have to have an obvious word in there that represents our sexual orientation, even though we like to say thats not what defines our personality!

Hell lets skip the tongue and cheek.

KluKluxKlanKon.

Ah? Ah? See what I did there?

But it'll be okay, black people can come too.

I fine the whole lot of this absurd. I don't even care, I've never gone to a con.

 

[redmoretrout]

Really, comparing the Soviet Union's oppression of religious institutions to a straight guy simply not understanding why gay gamers need separate conventions? The blatant insensitivity the writer of this comic strip showed towards oppressed religious minorities makes him worse than Hitler.

 

[Superlative]

So what you are saying.... is that we should totally also have straight cons as well, just for us straight people!

They're called regular cons.

Which Con exactly, labels itself as "straight"?

Please allow me to try and explain

the reason why people are saying straight cons are called regular conventions is because we, as straight people enjoy the advantage of being the norm due to an overwhelming majority. Due to this majority, nearly everything at a regular convention is going to be marketed towards straight people and heterosexuality will be the presumed norm.

Try thinking of it this way.

You are a Christian. When you get together with your Christian friends, you like to throw Christian Theology in among the general topics of conversation. Now imagine trying to have that theological discussion in the off-topic section of the forums here. Chances are good that you are going to have to deal with trolls posting insults aimed at you and your faith. all you wanted to do is have a nice theological discussion, not have to deal with sky daddy comments.

Now, if you were gay, instead of sky daddy jokes, you would at best attract odd looks and an worse have to deal with a group of knuckle-draggers trying to start trouble. this situation forces you to either hide your sexuality or endure said knuckle-draggers.

What the convention does is create a situation where homosexuality itself is the norm. not only do gay people not have to deal with people doucher, their homosexuality, which normally is something they have to compensate for, is celebrated, something which those in the group can greatly appreciate.

 

[UNHchabo]

Thats not the point, if someone did do a heterocon it would get blasted by every gay rights group out there for being a bigoted and homophobic venture. It's double standards and that defeats the whole point of such movements in the first place as they are supposed to eliminate double standards NOT propagate them.

What about special-interest panels? If there are lots of people who want to talk about LGBT issues in the gaming industry, why restrict that to an hour-long panel at PAX? Why can't there be panels of many different varieties that form the content base of a brand new convention?

 

[squid5580]

I'm going to post this (though it's already been posted before) because people don't seem to be reading it. It addresses a lot of the issues for sure, and is probably the only time I can tolerate the person who wrote it.

http://www.destructoid.com/the-importance-of-a-gay-gamer-convention-232467.phtml

This line alone makes it worth the read for me:

You can argue that LGBT people are "segregating themselves" by grouping together, but they were already pretty damn segregated -- not to mention alone. It can be lonely, and fucking terrifying to be gay. Just this week, through the social networks and grinning right-wing pundits, even I felt a level of fear by the hatred and venom being directed at the LGBT community over a fucking chicken sandwich.

He's also got a point with privilege, because a lot of people really don't know what it's like to be singled out like that. The arguments about self-segregation come from people who don't seem aware that the LGBT community gets treated like crap, period.

I'm sorry but what community doesn't take their lumps on a regular basis? Too old, to young, to rich, to poor, homed or homeless, hair too long, hair too short, casual or hardcore gamer. I don't know a single type of person who hasn't been singled out due to something and been picked on for it.

 

[Verkula]

So what you are saying.... is that we should totally also have straight cons as well, just for us straight people!

They're called regular cons.

Which Con exactly, labels itself as "straight"?

Please allow me to try and explain

the reason why people are saying straight cons are called regular conventions is because we, as straight people enjoy the advantage of being the norm due to an overwhelming majority. Due to this majority, nearly everything at a regular convention is going to be marketed towards straight people and heterosexuality will be the presumed norm.

Try thinking of it this way.

You are a Christian. When you get together with your Christian friends, you like to throw Christian Theology in among the general topics of conversation. Now imagine trying to have that theological discussion in the off-topic section of the forums here. Chances are good that you are going to have to deal with trolls posting insults aimed at you and your faith. all you wanted to do is have a nice theological discussion, not have to deal with sky daddy comments.

Now, if you were gay, instead of sky daddy jokes, you would at best attract odd looks and an worse have to deal with a group of knuckle-draggers trying to start trouble. this situation forces you to either hide your sexuality or endure said knuckle-draggers.

What the convention does is create a situation where homosexuality itself is the norm. not only do gay people not have to deal with people doucher, their homosexuality, which normally is something they have to compensate for, is celebrated, something which those in the group can greatly appreciate.

Um, no, actually, theres indeed a huge percent of people here who would gladly make fun of any religion, but the same poeple are usually also open to many things, including chatting with homosexuals, without making fun of them. The way I see it, more and more people getting open minded about these things, and because of that, I feel like separating them like this is a step backwards.

 

[Beryl77]

I still don't really get the reason why they do it but I also don't really care if they have such a specific convention.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

See I'm more disturbed by the fact there are people that don't feel they are the norm.

Shouldn't we try to get everyone to feel like normies instead of letting people be all "NO! WE ARE DIFFERENT! GRRRR!"

I actually think you mean the majority, not norm.

Im a dude. And i feel like the norm. Yet i still enjoy a guys night out with my male friends watching rugby down at the pub for a night where we just chat. My girlfriend enjoys her girls night out too where her friends just chat and she does all the things i usually dont enjoy doing with her. We mix and feel normal and fine all the time with out friends. But isnt it nice to just have some nice sameness every so often just to feel like you can be around those you can relate to on a really fundamental level about something even as insignificant as sexuality or gender. Even if someone homosexual did feel normal it would still appeal to that same indulgence i take that you have too. Its the same as pulling a game night with your male friends without girlfriends ect, its just a time to behave differently than normal in a mixed group by relaxing. Even if we made everyone comfortable that feeling is still nice every once in a while.

 

[General Twinkletoes]

So what you are saying.... is that we should totally also have straight cons as well, just for us straight people!

you already do.

Wait, theres a StraightmerCon somewhere?

Regular cons are marketed towards straight men. They're not called "StraightmerCon" but they are designed for straight guys. Sexuality obviously does have a role in it cons, otherwise booth babes wouldn't exist.