On Gaymers and Cons

[Zer0Saber]

I care just enough about the gaymer thing to say, "I don't care."

 

[Muspelheim]

I think we might as well add an additional clause to § 32, "Pics or it did not happen".

"If it did not happen to a straight, preferably white, male, then it did not happen."

Edit: I do like the vague undercurrent of "Oh, those ungrateful dolphins, segregating themselves from regular society that's done so much for them...", it's a logical summersault Arkimedes himself would've been baffled by.

 

[Piecewise]

. Do I feel 100% comfortable in that environment? No. Why? Because people harass, physically and psychologically assault and KILL gay people in the real world. I'm not saying it happens at cons, but it happens. Period. There are many other groups that experience the same thing. Living your life with that fact hanging over head sort of changes your perspective on a lot of things. The prospect of hanging out with 80000 people, a small number of which will come from the ignorant and bigoted pool that I hear and see using slurs of all kinds online, is one of those situations where you just can't shake that feeling. That feeling must be worse for someone who has experienced that kind of discrimination personally. I count myself lucky that due to my size and pass-times no one has ever messed with me in that way. The Gaymers convention is a place where we won't need to have that cloud follow us and we are more than happy to share that feeling with our friends and allies.

Uh...I can understand wanting to get together and connect with a bunch of people that have a shared "Interest" so to speak, I mean thats what a con already is. And I can understand the feeling that being in that environment can allow you to more freely express yourself without being judged. But honestly you're coming off as a bit freaking paranoid. I mean, I can understand "I don't want to have to hear someone call me a 'fag'" but Talking about being assaulted and killed? You make it sound like gamercon's are nothing but horrible homophobes with nail bats. It seems like Hyperbole. Like starting a black gamer con not because a bunch of gamers with a shared cultural background want to get together, but because black gamers are scared at more generalized cons because white people might lynch them.

 

[Piorn]

I recently watched TV, and there was a report on the christmas market in a major german city, where the homosexual community members have opened up their own "gay" christmas market. So they sell calenders with naked men on them, and have stages with lingerie models and stuff.
1. Why do you need to define your entire self over your sexuality?
2. Why can't you experience something that is completely unrelated to sex, with everyone?

Seriously, why do we have to split people into groups based on their sexual preferences.
It makes sense in bathrooms, because of obvious anatomical differences, but once we start splitting a community because of something you're born with, we might as well not let black people on the bus again.
You see where this is going?

Who cares if you're gay? I don't. Just finally shut up about it!

 

[Alcaste]

I recently watched TV, and there was a report on the christmas market in a major german city, where the homosexual community members have opened up their own "gay" christmas market. So they sell calenders with naked men on them, and have stages with lingerie models and stuff.
1. Why do you need to define your entire self over your sexuality?
2. Why can't you experience something that is completely unrelated to sex, with everyone?

Seriously, why do we have to split people into groups based on their sexual preferences.
It makes sense in bathrooms, because of obvious anatomical differences, but once we start splitting a community because of something you're born with, we might as well not let black people on the bus again.
You see where this is going?

Who cares if you're gay? I don't. Just finally shut up about it!

You, like many others, are making the assumption that sexuality affects only sexual-related things. It comes up EVERYWHERE. I'd love to explain the concept to you, but it's been done quite well by those much more eloquent than me on the previous pages.

 

[carpathic]

Here here!

An excellent comic. I hadn't really ever thought about the "need" for a specially themed convention, but what the hell. Plus, I would totally go, probably have a wicked time playing games with my fellow humans. (am straight btw)

I like the approach to be honest, and showing the inherent equality.

 

[barbzilla]

The thing is, they don't want to be exclusionary. They just want to be able to have a safe environment with which to mingle. There isn't anything exclusionary about it. I have never been to any gay event where I was turned away as a straight male (I had a gay roommate for years, so I went to these events quite often). If anything they went out of their way to make me feel welcome. Now if you get some of them drunk enough, they might hit on you, but it has never taken me anything more than to say "Sorry m8, I'm straight" and they backed off. Same thing goes with just about any gathering. There has only been one gathering where I actually felt unwelcome, but in all fairness it was a black pride meeting and I am a white guy. This happened shortly after the Rodney King beatings so, I don't really hold it against them. I went back the next year, and they were plenty welcoming.

 

[UNHchabo]

Sorry but I feel this sexual orientation segregation is going too far into all aspects of life where it isn't actually relevant. I'd be tempted to turn up to a gamer con, then a gaymer con to truly see if there's a big difference though I couldn't help but feel discriminated against by the latter just because I have a different sexual preference when the convention should be focusing more on games.

You can go if you're straight; I pre-ordered a pass through the Kickstarter. All the organizers expect is for attendees to be accepting.

 

[chozo_hybrid]

I get why they have these cons, hence why they're named what they are (So people know what they're going to), I just don't get why they have to separate themselves with a new term. "Gaymer" or "Girl Gamer" and things like that just seem silly to me. We're all just gamers, why the need for extra titles, you want to be treated the same, sweet as. Why the need for attention grabbing titles that separate you from the rest of the culture.

We're all just gamers here, and I would like to think we're all equal. But creating sub groups and titles can sort of create a bit of a divide.

I don't know, maybe it's something I just don't understand.

 

[Verlander]

Seriously I understand that the homosexual community wants an environment where they dont have to put up with every other snot nosed kid calling anything they dont care for as "gay", more power to them. However if on the flip side there was a con called Hetero/Malecon there would be hell to pay. Its inconsistent and that is my problem with it.

Think of it this way: There will never be a Heterocon, ever. There is absolutely no need for it, as heterosexuality is already considered "normal" to the point where it's assumed in just about everything. You will get a much smaller reaction when a guy says "My girlfriend and I saw a movie" than if you replaced 'girlfriend' with 'boyfriend'.

Because of that, you won't ever have to differentiate yourself and have events 'catered to straights~'. It's not about consistency. If it were consistent, we wouldn't even have the problem to begin with.

When you define an event by something completely unrelated (sexuality, gender, race etc), you are specifically discriminating against others. This isn't a situation where something is being created as an "alternative to the normal" because the "normal" convention isn't a heterosexual thing. It's a game thing. I'd protest a heterosexual games convention as strongly as a homosexual one, because the intention behind it is to discriminate against the interested parties that don't fit into the narrow, imposed restrictions.

As I've previously stated, in certain situations where sexuality has a part to play (such as nightclubs) there is a logical and honest reason why some segregation might occur. Beyond that, there is no reason to split the communities. We're supposed to be living and working together regardless of sex, age, race etc, not separately. That's what the hateful want.

 

[saleem]

Think of it this way: There will never be a Heterocon, ever. There is absolutely no need for it, as heterosexuality is already considered "normal" to the point where it's assumed in just about everything. You will get a much smaller reaction when a guy says "My girlfriend and I saw a movie" than if you replaced 'girlfriend' with 'boyfriend'.

Because of that, you won't ever have to differentiate yourself and have events 'catered to straights~'. It's not about consistency. If it were consistent, we wouldn't even have the problem to begin with.

Thats not the point, if someone did do a heterocon it would get blasted by every gay rights group out there for being a bigoted and homophobic venture. It's double standards and that defeats the whole point of such movements in the first place as they are supposed to eliminate double standards NOT propagate them.

 

[ThisGuyLikesNoTacos]

NO, that is not the solution. That just makes discrimination much easier.

What? How does that work? Do I just go to some convention filled with members of a minority and start shouting at them? That would end badly for me...

Are you trying to say that it encourages discrimination to some extent? How? The convention is made to celebrate the LGBT community. You don't need to belong to the community in order to join it. It's not some sort of "gays only" club...

BTW. There exists a convention for women geeks, and I somehow doubt that's the reason why geeks hate on women but the other way around.

 

[shrekfan246]

But seriously... why DO chicks want their own bathroom? What do they have to hide?

Have you ever seen a public restroom? I don't know where you live, but in the US they can get pretty nasty.

OT: Can't we all just get along? I wish that I would live to see a world where people aren't judged for petty things, but it seems that will never happen.

 

[Something Amyss]

Honestly, I've asked the "why do they want their own con" question myself. Mostly because I don't know what one would do at a gay con that one wouldn't do at a regular con.

The problem isn't that the question is asked (at least, for my money it's not). The problem is how often it's used as an attack. Which seems more the thrust of this than not.

The main answer is "not get harassed and ridiculed by a culture that seems to harass and ridicule anyone who's different."

I'm not saying that all straight people are bad or anything, but when you look at the responses to gender/sexuality/race issues in gaming, there's a lot of tantrums to be found. gays/women/minorities get crap for trying to be included, then get crap for trying to band together (either via inclusion or exclusion).

It's a damned if you do, damned if you don't scenario.

There is a contingent of people who "suffer" from privilege and are quick to call discrimination without looking at the overall scenario. That's sort of the issue here.

Though I've never been to a convention I really can't see the sexual discrimination being bad at a gamer con. I'd also think that if you were you'd probably be thrown out very quickly by the convention organisers who wouldn't want a reputation of being a homophobic venue.

That is amazingly optimistic.

Sorry but I feel this sexual orientation segregation is going too far into all aspects of life where it isn't actually relevant. I'd be tempted to turn up to a gamer con, then a gaymer con to truly see if there's a big difference though I couldn't help but feel discriminated against by the latter just because I have a different sexual preference when the convention should be focusing more on games.

Except they don't really check your sexuality at the door. It's a shame you are so optimistic about the majority but so negative when dealing with the minority.

If you think it's not relevant, that's probably because you haven't experienced any real discrimination and are trivialising the issues at hand. In fact, you're definitely doing the latter.

I find that there's too many homosexual movements that are acting like the world owes them for being gay and people should stop and respect them for it.

I'd settle for not having to worry about my safety. I can't speak for you, but I know that shouldn't be deemed an "unreasonable" demand.

Few homosexuals are looking for respect. At least, not more than the basic respect and dignity most other groups are afforded and desired.

The "special snowflake" deal is a strawman argument. It was tired when they made it about women. It was tired when they made it about blacks. It's tired when they make it about hispanics. And it's tired when they make it about homosexuals.

Why, your gay

What about my gay?

Wow so people insult you because of it, lots of people insult others for being different, that's their problem and highlights their flaws, not yours.

Yes, homosexuals cannot be offended by being mocked for being different, but you're getting out of sorts because...?

You couldn't help but feel discriminated against by a Gaymer con, but your attitude to homosexuals is tantamount to "suck it up."

Try an single standard.

For further reading, I suggest reading Susan Arendt's post [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/6.397621-On-Gaymers-and-Cons#16238388] on the subject. I don't completely agree with her, but I find it a respectable sentiment.

 

[Farther than stars]

Yep, that's us straights alright: all grey and no colour... We pretty much view the world through a Tim Burton filter.

 

[wintercoat]

I'm going to have to call you a dick, Grey, specifically for calling genuinely curious people bigoted dicks.
Seriously, what?
Upon hearing this I did myself wonder why there would be an event specifically for homosexuals, when I don't see games having much to do with sexual identity for the most part.
You make a valid point about the 'fitting in' thing, but you don't have to be a dick about it.

1: Personal insults on the forum will get you warned and/or banned.

2: You might want to reread what I wrote. There's two kinds people here; Those who are asking genuine questions, and those are asking in bad-faith. The comic is aimed at the latter group.

1: And you insulted him and several other forumites, including myself, with your post. Where's your warning? How does it feel to not only have no repercussions for insulting your user base on a site that treats insults as heinous crimes, but to actually get paid to do it?

2: I don't judge people based on their sexual preference. To me, people are people, not gay people, black people, white people, man people, woman people, etc. I find "Gaymer-con" to be a ridiculous idea that only serves to further alienate gay gamers by cordoning them off from the rest of the community and calling attention to the fact that they're different. Apparently this makes me a dick because my opinion doesn't match up with yours.

 

[Alcaste]

When you define an event by something completely unrelated (sexuality, gender, race etc), you are specifically discriminating against others. This isn't a situation where something is being created as an "alternative to the normal" because the "normal" convention isn't a heterosexual thing. It's a game thing. I'd protest a heterosexual games convention as strongly as a homosexual one, because the intention behind it is to discriminate against the interested parties that don't fit into the narrow, imposed restrictions.

As I've previously stated, in certain situations where sexuality has a part to play (such as nightclubs) there is a logical and honest reason why some segregation might occur. Beyond that, there is no reason to split the communities. We're supposed to be living and working together regardless of sex, age, race etc, not separately. That's what the hateful want.

You're right. A gaming convention shouldn't have anything to do with our sexuality. It's unfortunate that a convention is required where gay gamers can feel comfortable, because that implies they aren't comfortable at the current ones.

I understand where you're coming from, I really do, I just wish it were that easy.

Thats not the point, if someone did do a heterocon it would get blasted by every gay rights group out there for being a bigoted and homophobic venture. It's double standards and that defeats the whole point of such movements in the first place as they are supposed to eliminate double standards NOT propagate them.

Not even going to bother with this side of things anymore. I already addressed why things wont be called that, and why it would be bad if they were.

 

[Farther than stars]

I'd be tempted to turn up to a gamer con, then a gaymer con to truly see if there's a big difference though I couldn't help but feel discriminated against by the latter just because I have a different sexual preference when the convention should be focusing more on games.

Yeah... because that's what happens regularly: gay people discriminating against straight people. It's not like it's the other way round or anything.

 

[Your Fearless Captain]

This is a supper important issue that needs far more attention then it's getting! I am glad that it is being addressed here.

 

[Alcaste]

I'm going to post this (though it's already been posted before) because people don't seem to be reading it. It addresses a lot of the issues for sure, and is probably the only time I can tolerate the person who wrote it.

http://www.destructoid.com/the-importance-of-a-gay-gamer-convention-232467.phtml