On Gaymers and Cons

[AngloDoom]

Still don't see how this isn't a form of self-segregation. Honestly, part of me feels like I'm somehow being homophobic by not understand and I am racking my brains and desperately trying to think of how this isn't a form of segregation, but I can't think of it.

While a heterosexual individual wouldn't be denied entry to the event there would, I imagine, be more than a few people wondering why that person came. Some people might even think it ruins the event itself, like how several of my gay friends started getting irritated because the local gay bar was having more and more straight patrons. Putting a label at the door just makes people not of that label feel unwelcome. I wouldn't, for example, join my local Afro-Caribbean in my university because I feel like I'm not welcome.

Of course, this doesn't mean I'm against this event: if people feel too uncomfortable around heterosexual individuals to join an event then it's good that they have the option to surround themselves with more like-minded people, only I feel it comes by excluding people of a different mindset.

I very much doubt gays in gaming would have the same kind of reaction to gay bar patrons having straights pop up. Gaymers know that any support they get will be helpful in the long run, so having straights attend Gaymercon would be both supportive and awesome.

But what's the difference between the bar patrons and the 'gaymers'? Surely at least a few homosexual individuals go to both.

I'm not saying that a straight individual would get stoned and ostracised for attending Gaymerson, I'm just saying that they might not feel welcome if the event is clearly aimed at a different audience and some, not necessarily the majority, of people in the event may question why a heterosexual person is there.

While I understand that the 'booth-babes' and other such marketing at vanilla gaming cons certainly make it clear that it is aimed primarily at heterosexual males, I don't think the appropriate response is to create an event which just inverts the original problem.

Again, maybe I'm missing something, but Gamercon - in title alone - doesn't shout 'HOMOSEXUAL? NOT FOR YOU' while Gaymercon does shout 'HETEROSEXUAL? NOT FOR YOU', at least to me.

 

[zenoaugustus]

Maybe this is my ignorance speaking, but I hope that it would be moreso my idealism. Regardless, in an ideal world I feel like we wouldn't have to have a GaymerCon. In an ideal world, people could be comfortable with each other and able to chill and talk about their games at a convention without that kind of prejudice.

But I won't be so naive as to say that homophobia isn't existent in the gaming community (or any community really). And beyond that there are probably other reasons why one would want to attend a GaymerCon as opposed to a game convention. So while I wish they didn't need to exist, I am glad they do for the comfort and happiness of others.

 

[Alcaste]

If you would feel uncomfortable at a Gaymers con, then you now know why the Gaymers con exists.

 

[Verlander]

Do these not events not segregate part of the community though?

When the social interaction involves a potential expression of your sexuality, then it makes sense to maybe differentiate between preferences (for instance, nightclubs or bars), or when the media is directly and almost uniquely aimed at a market then yeah, I get the potential desire to cater to a specific crowd. With videogames, however, there is absolutely no requirement. Like many things in life, sexuality is not a limiting factor in gaming, and while I completely identify the disgusting bigotry that some of the LGBT community can face in the gaming community, this is not unique, or especially prominent in gaming conventions.

While "gay" conventions might be nice to some of the gay community (but by no means all of the gay community), they only serve to reaffirm the negative attitudes of the ignorant minority, rather than convince and alter their viewpoints. Isn't the gay pride chant "I'm here, I'm queer, get over it" rather than, "we're doing this now, please go away"?

 

[Twilight_guy]

I'd think rather then forming your own Con (with hookers and blackjack!) I would be more inclined to find the assholes who make you uncomfortable at other cons and kick their asses.

It just seems like an odd combination since the two have nothing to do with each other, like a convention for toy cars and washing machines. Or a stand that sells hotdogs and life insurance. I know why this exists, the same reason that game conventions exist at all, to collect a group of people with similar interest. It's the combination that baffles me.

Also, straw man and false analogy... but that's the joke...

 

[aeric90]

Hi. Gay guy here.

I LOVE going to PAX East. I have a great time there and wouldn't miss it for the world. I go with my friends who are also gay and I'm hoping one day I'll be able to drag my boyfriend out to it although I don't think he'll have as much fun as I do.

Do I have a great time? Absolutely. Do I feel 100% comfortable in that environment? No. Why? Because people harass, physically and psychologically assault and KILL gay people in the real world. I'm not saying it happens at cons, but it happens. Period. There are many other groups that experience the same thing. Living your life with that fact hanging over head sort of changes your perspective on a lot of things. The prospect of hanging out with 80000 people, a small number of which will come from the ignorant and bigoted pool that I hear and see using slurs of all kinds online, is one of those situations where you just can't shake that feeling. That feeling must be worse for someone who has experienced that kind of discrimination personally. I count myself lucky that due to my size and pass-times no one has ever messed with me in that way. The Gaymers convention is a place where we won't need to have that cloud follow us and we are more than happy to share that feeling with our friends and allies.

This issue isn't just gaming, it's just in general. Instead of asking why we need it, accept that we do and if it truly doesn't bother you then please help us end the need to have a separate 100% comfortable environment by being an ally. Call out any kind of discrimination or bigotry of any kind that you hear or experience. Once the voices come from everyone instead of just the minority of targets it will be impossible to for the industry to ignore. I guarantee that the preference of each and everyone of the organizers and attendees of the Gaymer convention dreams of a day when it won't be necessary.

Thanks for listening.

 

[Ddraig_Goch]

For those who don't quite get why there is a need for a convention catering to gay gamers, I would suggest reading Jim Sterling's article on Destructoid. It states the desire for such a convention far more eloquently than I ever could:

http://www.destructoid.com/the-importance-of-a-gay-gamer-convention-232467.phtml

 

[Piecewise]

I have to admit, I really don't get the whole "Gaymer" con thing. I mean, really, what the hell does your sexual orientation have to do with gaming? How would that even come up unless you choose to bring it up? I can understand wanting to have a Con for something where the subject matter is relevant, such as an RPG con or a Shooter con, but I'm not sure how sexuality can have enough of an effect to really matter for most games (With the possible exception of games like dead or alive). It seems like having a Black Gamer's con or asian gamer con; it just doesn't seem like these things have-or at least should have-any sort of real connection to gaming. I mean, my gender, race and sexual orientation have never really come up in a game, at least a good game.

 

[saleem]

Back? That's implying they were taken away. It also makes the implication that a gaymer con is turning away straight attendees... It is not.

--I think these are a good thing, but I can understand why some people wouldn't be able to see the need for them. Playing a lot of online games, I can see that in some cases it's absolutely drenched in homophobia, intentional or not. I imagine that when a word that is attributed to something that you care very deeply for is being used to describe something negative that would make you feel like shit.

Actually they are and its been going on for a while now - take the Rotary Club for example. Establishments for men and men alone are slowly but surely being being dismantled despite the fact that it is a needed tool for people to let off steam without offending the sensitivities of members of the opposite gender. Those that remain are labeled as misogynistic and chauvinistic. However there remains the fact that there are many establishments or events where men are excluded. You have Women only clubs like the InnerWheel the Womens version of Rotary (no men allowed), women only gyms and women only sports events (with no events for men). I understand not having men and women compete in the same event for physical, safety or even fair play issues. But to have a meet that completely excludes men and doesnt even provide events for them to partake in is in my mind wrong considering if the invesr was true it would be decried and condemned.

Why is it ok to have exclusivity for one but not for the other.

I have no problem with exclusivity - its a great way for communities to get together without having to worry about harassment from an unwanted party. The problem I have is when it is ok for certain segments of to have exclusivity but not for others. Its just the other side of bigotry.

Seriously I understand that the homosexual community wants an environment where they dont have to put up with every other snot nosed kid calling anything they dont care for as "gay", more power to them. However if on the flip side there was a con called Hetero/Malecon there would be hell to pay. Its inconsistent and that is my problem with it.

 

[McMarbles]

*Comic asking people not to be "that guy"*

*five pages of people being "that guy"*

I love this board.

 

[Zer0Saber]

I care just enough about the gaymer thing to say, "I don't care."

 

[Muspelheim]

I think we might as well add an additional clause to § 32, "Pics or it did not happen".

"If it did not happen to a straight, preferably white, male, then it did not happen."

Edit: I do like the vague undercurrent of "Oh, those ungrateful dolphins, segregating themselves from regular society that's done so much for them...", it's a logical summersault Arkimedes himself would've been baffled by.

 

[Piecewise]

. Do I feel 100% comfortable in that environment? No. Why? Because people harass, physically and psychologically assault and KILL gay people in the real world. I'm not saying it happens at cons, but it happens. Period. There are many other groups that experience the same thing. Living your life with that fact hanging over head sort of changes your perspective on a lot of things. The prospect of hanging out with 80000 people, a small number of which will come from the ignorant and bigoted pool that I hear and see using slurs of all kinds online, is one of those situations where you just can't shake that feeling. That feeling must be worse for someone who has experienced that kind of discrimination personally. I count myself lucky that due to my size and pass-times no one has ever messed with me in that way. The Gaymers convention is a place where we won't need to have that cloud follow us and we are more than happy to share that feeling with our friends and allies.

Uh...I can understand wanting to get together and connect with a bunch of people that have a shared "Interest" so to speak, I mean thats what a con already is. And I can understand the feeling that being in that environment can allow you to more freely express yourself without being judged. But honestly you're coming off as a bit freaking paranoid. I mean, I can understand "I don't want to have to hear someone call me a 'fag'" but Talking about being assaulted and killed? You make it sound like gamercon's are nothing but horrible homophobes with nail bats. It seems like Hyperbole. Like starting a black gamer con not because a bunch of gamers with a shared cultural background want to get together, but because black gamers are scared at more generalized cons because white people might lynch them.

 

[Piorn]

I recently watched TV, and there was a report on the christmas market in a major german city, where the homosexual community members have opened up their own "gay" christmas market. So they sell calenders with naked men on them, and have stages with lingerie models and stuff.
1. Why do you need to define your entire self over your sexuality?
2. Why can't you experience something that is completely unrelated to sex, with everyone?

Seriously, why do we have to split people into groups based on their sexual preferences.
It makes sense in bathrooms, because of obvious anatomical differences, but once we start splitting a community because of something you're born with, we might as well not let black people on the bus again.
You see where this is going?

Who cares if you're gay? I don't. Just finally shut up about it!

 

[Alcaste]

I recently watched TV, and there was a report on the christmas market in a major german city, where the homosexual community members have opened up their own "gay" christmas market. So they sell calenders with naked men on them, and have stages with lingerie models and stuff.
1. Why do you need to define your entire self over your sexuality?
2. Why can't you experience something that is completely unrelated to sex, with everyone?

Seriously, why do we have to split people into groups based on their sexual preferences.
It makes sense in bathrooms, because of obvious anatomical differences, but once we start splitting a community because of something you're born with, we might as well not let black people on the bus again.
You see where this is going?

Who cares if you're gay? I don't. Just finally shut up about it!

You, like many others, are making the assumption that sexuality affects only sexual-related things. It comes up EVERYWHERE. I'd love to explain the concept to you, but it's been done quite well by those much more eloquent than me on the previous pages.

 

[carpathic]

Here here!

An excellent comic. I hadn't really ever thought about the "need" for a specially themed convention, but what the hell. Plus, I would totally go, probably have a wicked time playing games with my fellow humans. (am straight btw)

I like the approach to be honest, and showing the inherent equality.

 

[barbzilla]

The thing is, they don't want to be exclusionary. They just want to be able to have a safe environment with which to mingle. There isn't anything exclusionary about it. I have never been to any gay event where I was turned away as a straight male (I had a gay roommate for years, so I went to these events quite often). If anything they went out of their way to make me feel welcome. Now if you get some of them drunk enough, they might hit on you, but it has never taken me anything more than to say "Sorry m8, I'm straight" and they backed off. Same thing goes with just about any gathering. There has only been one gathering where I actually felt unwelcome, but in all fairness it was a black pride meeting and I am a white guy. This happened shortly after the Rodney King beatings so, I don't really hold it against them. I went back the next year, and they were plenty welcoming.